I Want To Be (Part 1)

Posted on 07 Feb 2013 @ 10:05pm by Lieutenant Kiri Cho & Chief Warrant Officer 4 Cyrus Kiwosk

2,472 words; about a 12 minute read

Mission: Episode 03 - Frontier
Location: USS Galileo: Deck 2, Messhall
Timeline: MD 02 0655

ON:

Since she got up at zero five hundred hours Kiri had been mulling over what was in her life. How she was going to deal with the problems she had, what she had gone through with Peers. How to get more of that, to get what she wanted. To have friends, to have someone close to her, to be an office. After another night alone she had found something else to desire for sure, to be stronger. Cyrus had been the one to help her with shooting. While she was training with Mor'an that was movements rather than actually being stronger. So she had send him a message and asked to see him as soon as possible. The moment that he was available she wanted to ask him about it.

Cyrus had just gotten to sleep when he recieved the message from Kiri. Yawning slightly he sent a quick response that she could meet him in the mess hall. He couldn't help but wonder what Kiri wanted at seven in the morning, but he wasn't too concerned about the time. He'd be able to sleep later on in the day before his shift.

As soon as she got his message Kiri headed towards the mess. She needed to come up with a plan to work on. What exactly she was going to be asking him for. Her hair was tied back and flat as ever, eyes back to normal and her uniform perfectly presented. Looking around at this hour the mess was quite empty and since she couldn't see Cyrus Kiri took her normal seat looking out into space.

Cyrus was able to spot Kiri with little trouble, his mug of coffee already in hand, he made his way through the almost empty mess to sit down at her table. "Morning Lieutenant. What can I do you for this fine day?" Cyrus asked smiling into his mug.

Managing a small smile Kiri looked over at him now he had her attention, "I wanted to ask you a few things if that is okay?" He had answered her call but she hadn't exactly given any details.

He raised an eyebrow, but simply nodded, not saying anything. It was an odd thing to say, but there was obviously a reason.

"About a few days ago," She didn't want to talk about details or think about the events too much, "I was thinking about it." Taking a deep breath she bit her lip, "I didn't say thank you properly."

"No thanks needed Kiri, I was just trying to make sure your road to recovery wasn't any more bumpy than it needed to be. It's what friends do." He gave her a soft smile and motioned his cup. "I have to make up for my blunders somehow, I figured keeping you from months and months of psychiatric assessing was only fair."

He was making a joke of it again but Kiri didn't think she would ever be able to laugh about it. Instead she looked pensively at the table before back up at him, "Thank you still." Then she pulled on her courage and just up and spilled out, "I want to be stronger."

He blinked, not sure what to saw. "What do mean stronger...like physically or mentally?"

"Both," Kiri bit her lip uncomfortably, "But can you help me physically?" Liyar, Mor'an or even Maenad might be better for the mental side. But she didn't know anyone who looked stronger than Kiwosk and he had seemed good at training when she had seen him.

He stroked the stubble on his chin methodically as he gave Kiri`s request thought. "Kiri, " He began " I can help you get stronger physically...but what brought this on?"

Kiri shrank back slightly, "I," She looked slightly ashamed, "I want to be able to protect myself." It might not have made much different, but it might have made all the difference. She could hardly imagine someone grabbing hold of Kiwosk and holding in place. She'd barely been able to move let alone fight back.

It all made sense now. "Kiri..." He felt sympathetic for the girl. "and you feel like you couldn't when those people..." He left the sentence unfinished. He breathed deeply and set his mug down on the table. "You don't need strength. " He said simply.

Her chin wobbled slightly as he brought it up, they were in public though. There was no way she was going to let herself cry, she had to act cooler than that.

"What you need." He continued. "Is a way to use the opponents strength against them." He leaned forward. "Remember when Lieutenant Panne knocked me over with three hits?"

She remembered, but Meanad knew what she was doing. She was stronger, bigger and Kiri had seen that she had muscles. Kiri barely even had any flesh on her arms let alone muscles.

"That wasn't because she was strong than me...not even that she's faster, she was able to hit the right spots at the right time...it's called ' situational awareness.' " He pointed a finger at her and smiled. "That's what you need, and strength has nothing to do with it. "

"No," She shook her head, "If I hit you as hard as I could, even in a weak spot, I don't think you would even notice." At the Academy she had done some lessons on those points but she was barely strong enough then to make any use of them. To pull an arm to where you wanted you needed to be strong enough to actually do so. Taking someone behind the knee meant you still needed to be strong enough to overcome their muscle there. When those men had been holding her she knew the weak points but she couldn't even move her arms, or even her legs to do anything.

Cyrus nodded once. She was probably right, but only because Cyrus knew what he would need to do to stop that. "The martial arts you're doing with the Cadet will cover any strength that you'll need. " He smiled reassuringly. "If you want muscled, like the ones I seem to carry around, they're mostly for looks." He was being honest. "There are two kinds of muscle mass, lean muscle like the Cadet and Theron have, and Lieutenant Panne, and then there is bulk muscle, like me. ' He chuckled. "My muscle mass, makes me look fearsome, sure, and I'm certainly one of the strongest physcially on board the ship. That's also true." He looked into her eyes and shook his head. "But when you are facing two opponents that are physically stronger than you kiri, you want speed, you want agility and you situational awareness. The faster you are, the more agile you are and the more aware of your surroundings you are... that's the difference in a situation like you were in. 'You have the frame, you will get the muscle mass if you continue you're work with the Cadet, but it's the awareness you lack. If you don't mind, I'd like to demonstrate something. Can I see your wrist?"

Kiri didn't understand his reluctance. It wasn't about what she needed, she'd read a little bit about it. With Mor'an it was fluid movement, what she wanted was to was to be stronger. Not in the same way that Cyrus was, mass of muscle but stronger than she was now. Why couldn't she do both sets of training? If she had to do it herself she would but she thought he would help, she'd wanted him to. Gingerly she held out a slightly bruised wrist that was very slender, bone on one side and veins on the other.

"I'm going to use this much pressure." He touched her arm gently, nothing more than a feather's push. "And it's going to make you feel uncomfortable, alright? It's not going to hurt, just feel weird." He smiled reassuringly.

He gingerly pressed in on the joint of her wrist, just like he hand. The sensation that should arise was an odd feeling of the fingers loosening as he manipulated the tendons that ran through the area. "You see that?" He asked. "Same amount of force, but I just made your fingers loosen, that can be done to anyone, by anyone."

Frowning at the discomfort Kiri still didn't agree. Sure he could press on her and loosen her fingers. If that was the situation though, wouldn't breaking her wrist be a safer option with better results? He was strong enough to do it, if she was then it rendered the person incapable.

He let go of her wrist and attempted to explain another time. "When you say you want to get stronger, to build strength and attain that idea that you have in your head...there is no fix way to do it,..." He felt himself repeating and started again. "What I'm trying to say is that depending on what kind of strength your looking to have will depend on the kind of workout or routine you will need to establish. If you want strength for defense than what you are doing is more than sufficient, if you wanted more, I could suggest training weights like I use, if you're looking for brute strength than you need to push your muscles to the absolute limit and than some, which can be very dangerous to your body. Can you understand why I'm hesitant when you simply say ' I want to be stronger.' It's not that simple. I could a hundred pushups a day and I will eventually become stronger, I could keep my body in a karate kata for three hours and I will tone my muscles. It's all on what you want." He finished.

"So...what exactly do you want to do, what kind of strength are you looking for and I guess we will go from there."

Kiri shrank back into her seat slightly, "I want," It sounded almost stupid but she couldn't find other words, "To be able to push people, climb things, to run properly, be able to kick things. Not like a body builder but, better than I am now." It was a full range of things but she didn't really understand how different they really were.


Cyrus listened carefully. "You want to defend yourself and feel confident in doing so...I think I'm understand what exactly you want." He smiled at Kiri and broke out in a soft chuckle. "Well, I can't teach you the same way I fight, you'd break in half, but I can set you up a training regiment that will give you all of that, and if you want, I'll explain a little more about that situational stuff...because no offense Kiri, but..." He thought of the words carefully.

"When you get stressed, you perception on what to do, kind of...stops...existing...." He added quietly

That was true of last time, she hadn't exactly made even remotely a good showing of herself. Yet weren't most people like that, was she really worse than other people? Trying to give the matter some more thought she answered, "Yes, I'd like it if you could show me."

He clapped his hands together and smiled. "I think we can arrange something, I'll talk to the Cadet and get her feel on things and how to proceed on this. " He was grinning, but his face went serious for a couple moments. "Kiri, you need to understand that I understand why you want to do this, but simply being stronger and knowing what do to is only have the battle...the other half." He tapped his head. "Is in here, fear is normal, fatigue and anxiety are almost guaranteed, but the only that can allow you to put everything you will learn into play is the ability to master all of that. The universe is a wonderful place, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have it's own share of nightmares that we need to protect people from. That's why we are out here. To learn, explore, and protect."

Kiri wasn't so sure he understood and he didn't know anything about her nightmares. Disliking that her request had become such an examination of herself and her reasons she started to sulk very slightly, "I know its a problem. I mean, being scared of things. But I think if know really what to do that I can see them as processes to solve, I can do that." There was confidence from somewhere in there, "However I do that, or even if I can't, this won't do anything negative to it will it?" If nothing else she would be fitter, at least a little more able to look after herself. Even if she wasn't very good at it at all, it wouldn't make things worse.

He scrunched up his face slightly at the odd question. "Not to my knowledge it won't. I'm sure you will feel better in no time." He gave her a quick smile.

"Okay, when can we start?" She didn't really have time today but tomorrow, she'd make time. There was no telling when something like that might happen again. She needed to be ready for it.

Cyrus smiled softly. "Well, I'm not entirely sure, I'll have to draw up a plan for you, make sure that it's something your comfortable with before we get into anything serious, we'll have to get a program suited for your body type. " He gave her a quick look down. "Which will be probably something quick, you have a good frame for agility." He remarked off handedly.

"Say, 0900 tomorrow or the following day, it'll depend on what's going on. That sound goo to you?"

Kiri felt uncomfortable as he looked her over, flinching ever so slightly. Her voice slightly shaky she nodded, "I change shifts tomorrow, but that will be fine, where would it be?" She also noticed that she hadn't had anything to eat yet, maybe she should.

"Probably the gym to start, show you the ropes, then we'll see if we can books some time on the holodeck and have you do some training. Maybe both. It'll depend. "

"I didn't think the ship had a gym?" Kiri looked at her hands for a moment, wondering what he meant by holodeck training.

"Pretty sure, then again, I may be just hoping." He chuckled. "I hope that doesn't make you feel uncomfortable. "

"It's okay, I just didn't remember there being one on the deck plans," Kiri forced a smile and placed a hand on her stomach, "Would you like anything to eat?"

TBC:

Chief Warrant Officer Cyrus Kiwosk
Security/ Tactical Officer
Master-at-Arms, TRT Squad Leader
USS Galileo

Lieutenant (JG) Kiri Cho
Assistant Chief Science Officer
USS Galileo

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