I, Slept

Posted on 02 Jan 2013 @ 12:19am by Lieutenant Kiri Cho & Petty Officer 2nd Class Jessica Sandywyne

3,823 words; about a 19 minute read

Mission: Episode 02 - Resupply
Location: USS Galileo - Deck 4, Sickbay
Timeline: MD10 1720

[ON]

Kiri felt extremely warm, her head hurt, her eyes, her face and inside she felt very light. Her mouth was dry as a bone and her stomach was very empty. For a few seconds she felt like herself, normal. That vanished the moment she discovered that it was almost impossible to move her limbs. Even her eyes wouldn't open at first as if they had been sealed with lead. With a small high pitched grunt she finally forced them but it felt like she'd strained something. The room was too bright but she slowly adjusted, looking up at a grey ceiling. She wanted to move up couldn't, speaking was also out of the questions, her lips were glued together more than her eyes had been. At least she could twitch her fingers though, taking in the room for a moment she finally found the strength to turn her head, what had happened?

"Are you awake now?"

Kir squinted to try and make out where the voice had come from. It wasn't one she knew, was she in sickbay? Struggling she rasped quietly, "What, ha, happen."

"You had a fit," Jessica stepped into view and squatted down to bring her face into view, "You also hit your head on the way down." Locks of blonde hair spilled from her head in a messy mass. Her look was also quite severe without a smile, "Thirsty?"

Nodding Kiri gladly accepted a glass of water that was far more of a struggle to drink than it should have been. Managing not to spill any down herself it almost instantly brought her mouth back to life and made her head ache. Before she knew it the glass was empty and taken away from her.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Was the answer, what time was it? However tired she was now though it wasn't as bad as it had been. At least now she felt attentive and able to focus.

"Look into the light for me," A bright light shone into her eye that made her wince at first, "Follow it for me." It was easy to obey in her current state, how had she had a fit? Was it because she was tired or something else entirely?

"Okay, doesn't look like any brain damage," Jessica did smile then and squeezed one of Kiri's fingers. "You've been having trouble sleeping, quite bad I'm guessing?"

"Y, yes," Kiri felt ashamed, her eyes were welling, she didn't want to cry but.

"Don't worry, you've had some sleep now and I can give you something for more in a little while. For now you should try and have something to eat, there is also one of your friends that would like to visit, is that okay?"

"Yes," Kiri tried to nod but it didn't really work. Already her throat was starting to dry out and more words seemed a struggle.

"I'll be back in a minute,"

------------

Liyar's words of reassurance had helped Maenad immensely. While she had spent most of her day afraid for Kiri, he had made her less so. But now it was almost 1730 and she had collapsed some ten hours ago, and still she had heard nothing. Maenad simply couldn't deal with the suspense of not knowing anything any longer. She erupted from her quarters and blasted down to sickbay. Out of the turbolift, she would have been described as skipping down the hallway if she weren't so unpleasant.

When she got to sickbay, she paused outside the doors before going inside. She looked once in either direction, took in a deep breath, and stepped through the doors. The first thing she wanted to know was why a team of doctors weren't standing around Kiri's bed catering to her every need. The second thing she wanted to know was where everybody was. But, for the time being, she ignored all of that and quickly walked over to where Kiri was. Liyar was right; she was alive. And the blood was gone. And the gash on her forehead was nothing more than a tender-looking pink line.

"Kiri!" Maenad said with the brightest of smiles. She leaned over and gave her a gentle hug. "Are you all right?" she asked, feeling her eyes water but not let anything out.

Kiri was still dealing with confusion over the situation. To have Maenad appear in such a rush and hug her, it was nice but that only added to it. When she was pulled into the hug she realised quite how weak she was right now, barely able to lift her arms properly let alone lift herself. The words she gave were mumbled slightly, "I think so." Her hands rested loosely on the other woman's back. Was she worried because she had ended up here? That was new.

Maenad held her for a moment longer and stood back up, helping to replace Kiri on the bed like she'd found her. "I was so worried all day," she said quietly. "I'm glad you're all right."

"I'm sorry," She didn't want to worry anyone, "What happened?" She knew that she had a fit and hit her head but how had she ended up here? Was it Maenad that found her? Was that why she was so worried.

"I don't know," Maenad replied. "I found you on the floor of your office this morning," she told her.

"You found me, sorry," Kiri was starting to feel like she was going to cry again. She must be the reason that Maenad was so upset, it was her fault for not being able to take care of herself.

"What?" Maenad asked, irritation creeping into her voice. "Kiri, if I hadn't found you when I did..." she trailed off. "Well, you have nothing to be sorry for. Do you know what happened? Should I be worried about you?" She didn't mean to interrogate; Kiri was obviously weak and still recovering, but she was concerned, frustrated, and impatient with everyone and everything at the moment. She wanted to know why Kiri had collapsed and wanted to know whether she needed to fret over it.

Shame washed over Kiri, she didn't want to explain but how could she not now? "I haven't been sleeping very well," As if that wasn't obvious, "The, nurse said that might be what caused it. It's my fault, I just." She still couldn't understand why she hadn't been able to talk to anyone. It seemed extremely important to keep it secret at the time but she couldn't really remember why.

If that were the case, and she had little reason do that it was, Maenad realised that perhaps she had been less attentive to her staff, and Kiri in particular, than she had thought. As a department chief, it was her responsibility to balance work between everyone in the department. While the day-to-day delegation of work went through her assistant's desk, Maenad was ultimately responsible for everything and everyone that happened in the science department. She had known Kiri was not feeling her best, she had known her growing exhaustion because she had seen it every single day getting worse and worse. Yet, Maenad had done nothing. She had asked Kiri about it, more than once even, and Kiri had always dismissed her concerns. Was that Maenad's fault? Yes, she thought. It was.

"I apologise," Maenad said sternly, as if she had accepted a fault that she had been denying for months. "I should not have let you continue working even though I knew you were exhausted. I want you to know that health comes first, Miss Cho, and if ever you feel unwell or tired or unable to perform, do not hesitate to tell me," she looked down at her, her expression full of sorrow. "Take as long as you need to get better," she insisted.

"No, that's the last thing I want," Kiri now looked like she was being punished. "It was my fault for not saying anything, I don't know. It's not your fault." Biting her lip she might had drawn blood if she had the strength in her jaw but it barely even made a dent.

"Kiri, it's not your fault," Maenad said squarely. She thought for a moment, pondering her own behaviour. She knew she was being critical, and she knew that she was being unfair, but she couldn't help it. It was upsetting her that she couldn't just be normal that she couldn't be warm to someone, understanding of them. Why did it always have to be about her? There was nothing Maenad could say to make things better, so Maena didn't try. She clenched her jaw, looking angry - but she was angry at herself.

"Did they say when you can leave, go back to your quarters where it's more comfortable?" Maenad asked a few moments later, her voice more relaxed.

"No, not yet," Kiri still looked quite up set from the last out burst. Meekly Kiri flopped her hand towards Maenad's, thinking back to the beach. She could tell that the other woman was upset and directly or not Kiri knew the blame was squarely on her own shoulders. She didn't know what she could do to make that better.

Maenad smiled down at her, feeling terrible for herself and for all that had happened that happened that day. She had been fortunate enough in her life to have only fainted because of anaemia - a relatively harmless condition. She had been severely injured once, but preferred not to think about it; never had Maenad experienced anything that had even closely resembled what Kiri was going through. She admired the small woman's strength; she knew that if ever she were to find herself in her situation, she would probably die just out of sheer terror and humiliation. She took Kiri's hand in hers and pressed it gently. "Oh, Kiri," she whispered. Her voice sounded like she was crying, but she wasn't. "I'm so sorry."

She would have done, Kiri wasn't allowed to cry in public though. Swallowing hard somehow gave her a plug that stopped her tired eyes from weeping, her chin still wobbled though. "It's not," Kiri stopped she didn't want to argue, she shouldn't be. More over she didn't really have the strength. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the nurse had come back but didn't pay either of them any notice. Silence hung in the air while Kiri met Maenad's eyes.

Maenad noticed the arrival of the nurse behind them. "I'll be right back," she whispered, then left the bedside for the nurse. "Excuse me," Maenad said trotting over, "Excuse me," she looked to make sure she was out of Kiri's earshot. "Can you tell me if she'll be all right? What happened to her?"

"Not without her permission, else I might end up looking for a new job," Jessica didn't speak any different than normal with her dour tone, "She will be fine though, just like I said. It's best she stays here for another twelve to eighteen hours though. What she needs is rest and I don't intend to give her a choice in the matter." Within the hour she was meant to put her back under again, Kiri was hardly recovered enough from her lack of sleep to go walking anywhere.

Maenad closed her eyes, already having enough of this nurse. She had dealt with her that morning and didn't like her then any more than she did now. She just gave her a steely glare and returned to Kiri. "I suppose I should let you get some rest," she said to her.

Kiri was still meant to get something to eat, she wasn't going anywhere fast but if Maenad wanted to leave what could she do? Quietly she answered, "You don't have to go, I mean, you can if you want."

Maenad smiled. "All right," she said softly, remaining by the bedside. "Can I get you anything? The nurse said you have to stay for another day, so I would be happy to."

Kiri managed a smile in return, she didn't want to be on her own right now. On the ship Maenad was the one she wanted to be around more than anyone, "Do you think I should eat something?" She didn't feel hungry but she hadn't eaten anything since yesterday.

"I, uh," Maenad frowned. "I don't know," she said honestly after a moment. "Are you hungry?" she remembered the blood that had flowed from her mouth and closed her eyes until the thought had passed. "Would you like me to get the nurse, see what she says?"

"She said I should, I don't really feel hungry though," Kiri seemed to shrink into the covers, her hands slowly finding their way to her lap.

Maenad looked severe. "Then don't eat," she said. "If you're not hungry, you shouldn't force it." She wondered whether that were truly a good idea. Maybe there was something easy she could eat. "Maybe some soup? Or some ice cream would feel good?"

"I think soup might be better," Kiri tried to get up but her back muscles couldn't take the strain and she promptly fell flat again. It didn't hurt but she was so tired she didn't have any strength left in her.

"Don't get up," Maenad scolded her, "I will get it." She left to find a replicator, but she had no idea where to go or what to do in sickbay. And she didn't want to talk to that nurse again. She would have to go to the mess hall, she realised. Maenad left sickbay and started heading to the turbolift, but remembered that she was on deck four, which meant she could visit her office instead. There, she replicated Kiri the only soup she had ever known her to eat, Lung Fung, and she replicated herself a chicken salad sandwich.

A few moments later, Maenad was back in sickbay with a tray of food and two glasses of water. She set the tray on the empty biobed next to Kiri's and removed her meal, then carefully helped Kiri upright enough to eat with the tray on her lap. "I got you some Lung Fung because I remembered you like it," she said to her, helping her with the spoon.

"Thank you," Right now the fishy smell made her what to vomit but Kiri kept telling herself it was good for her. Forcing a few spoonfuls down she did feel a little better, "How, was today?"

"It was all right," she lied. She had had a rotten day dripping with worry and despair, thinking Kiri was on her deathbed and coping with what she had seen that morning. "Mister Liyar and I spent some time together this morning for a few hours." Seeing that Kiri could handle herself, Maenad set on the edge of the other biobed, her feet dangling, as she started eating her sandwich.

With her leaden limbs Kiri made sure each spoonful was half full, less she spill in on the covers. With regard to what was said though Kiri didn't know how to carry on from that. Swallowing a chunk of mollusc she finally came up with, "Are you friends with him?"

Maenad finished the food in her mouth and swallowed with a frown as she wondered how to answer the question. "Maybe," she said. "I like the way he makes me angry," she said. "And I like his curly hair, because he's the only Vulcan with hair not like mine that I've ever met." She grinned, blushing a little for some reason and not being aware of it. "I don't know what he thinks of me, honestly, but for a Vulcan he's very tolerant of me. I can be hard to get along with," she confessed. "Usually if Vulcans don't want to spend time with you they will let you know, but if they don't it hardly means they're friends with you."

"You could always ask him," Kiri had finally found the courage to ask Sellen that after two months to get the answer, "Yes." "I don't find you hard to get along with," Maybe there was something she was missing but she had found Maenad very easy to get along with at work and with everything else.

"Thank you," Maenad laughed quietly. "I appreciate that. As for asking him whether he's my friend, I prefer to just figure it out. I'm sure we are," she said, even though she wasn't sure at all. It wasn't something she really thought about, though. This concept of who's my friend and who's not was something she thought was unique to Kiri; it was just something a person figured out without saying anything, at least that had always been her experience. Something that time would tell. She took a bite of her sandwich.

Kiri smiled at the laugh and kept trying to eat her soup, the broth she finished but she left several of the chunks of seafood. Licking chaffed lips she watched Maenad eat for a moment before looking away, "I think I would rather know than work it out."

Maenad swallowed another but. "How's your soup? Are you feeling any better?

"Tired but better," She was still miles better than she had been, at least she seemed alert and awake. "If I am allowed out tomorrow, can I return to duty soon?"

Maenad gave Kiri a doubtful look. "No," she said. "You're going to rest until shore leave is over," she told her. "And I don't think that's just me talking; the doctor will probably say the same thing."

Kiri looked very disappointed at that as if almost everything she held dear was taken away from her, "Oh." Lightly she sucked at the inside of her lip as she looked down at the sheets. If she was better then couldn't she go back to work? There was still work to be done before they launched and could anyone else do it? Writing programs for sensors was a specialists jobs and there wasn't one single person that shared all those skills with her, it would take three.

"Most of the work is already done or close to being done," Maenad tried to reassure her. "We have a good team."

"Okay," Still she looked disappointed, it was her project and she wanted to finish it.

Maenad clenched her jaw, seeing the disappointment on Kiri's face. As much as she didn't want to upset her any more than she was already, she knew it was necessary. If Kiri were to be her assistant, she needed her at her best.

Kiri kept silence, maybe at least if she was able to do some work but not all of it. She had already been told no though, she didn't thinking asking again would be right. Still there weren't any more smiles from her.

Maenad finished her sandwich and downed the water in her glass. She could feel that there was some tension between them, even if she hadn't intended for it. "Are you finished with your bowl?" she asked Kiri a second later.

"Yes, thank you," Kiri could lift it down but the spoon clattered against the bowl as she tried. Pale cold hands couldn't hold still however hard she tried, "Sorry."

Maenad took the bowl and tray, looking concerned. The sight of Kiri's shaking hands and her trying with all of her strength not to upset her. "No," she said softly. "Don't be. It's all right, I've got it." She moved to place the tray with Kiri's bowl on the biobed she'd been using as a seat. "Just lie back and rest." Maenad pressed her palm against Kiri's forehead and gently pushed back her hair.

Being cradled would have been much more gentle than being forced back into the bed. There was nothing she could to resist though so down she went until she was on her back again, "Are you going now?"

Maenad gave her a reassuring smile. "I can stay for as long as you would like me to," she said quietly. The sight of Kiri was beginning to depress her. She was normally so full of life and energy and now she could barely move. And her independence had been shattered. She could tell that Kiri didn't want her to leave, but normally she thought that she would. It was just so sad.

Kiri smiled, "You have other things to do though?" She wanted to cry again now, she felt so helpless but she had someone with her that cared. To be home with her mother would be nice, that would feel better. She couldn't let herself cry though, scrunching up her eyes to stop herself.

"I'm on leave, remember?" she said with a smile. "And Mister Petrov is handling it anyway," she added.

"Okay," She was starting to get too tired to do much of anything though, sitting up again was beyond her. Even opening her eyes after forcing down her tears was a strain. Her green eyes weren't bloodshot any more though, "Thank you."

Maenad didn't say anything else for a long time. She went to find a stool to sit on so she could be closer to Kiri. Sitting beside her, she stroked at the girl's hair between her long fingers. It had become a little greasy like straight hair was prone to do, but she didn't care. She actually preferred it like that because it seemed more real. She very carefully pulled loose knots and tangles that had accumulated from her long and stressful day. If Kiri were still there in the morning, she thought that she would wash it for her if these doctors wouldn't. "You have beautiful hair," Maenad whispered quietly, a thought aloud to herself that she wouldn't regret.

Kiri found herself dosing again quickly. Gentle tugging on her hair was soothing and she still was very tired. Eyes half closed most of her brain was already asleep when Maenad spoke, she felt warm again. The words came to her but in return she only mumbled unintelligibly. It was almost like being home again, home she loved. Was this starting to become home now?

When Kiri said nothing and Maenad had realised that she had spoken rather than thought, she smiled. She was asleep again, which she desperately needed. She stayed for a while longer, but a sad look had come over her as she fixed with Kiri's hair. She wondered idly what it would be like to be a mother or to have a sister; she had always wanted a sister. Without yet realising it, Maenad's feelings toward Kiri were exactly as those found between sisters.

[OFF]

Lieutenant (JG) Maenad Panne
Chief Science Officer
USS Galileo

Lieutenant (JG) Kiri Cho
Assistant Chief Science Officer
USS Galileo

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