Strange Encounters

Posted on 01 Oct 2014 @ 10:13pm by Lieutenant Oren Idris Ph.D. & Lieutenant JG Grayson Jones

2,735 words; about a 14 minute read

Mission: Episode 06 - Legend of Souls
Location: USS Galileo - Deck 7, Workout room
Timeline: MD07 - 2030hrs

[ON]

Finally satisfied with what little could be done on his side for the plan of getting the tribbles dealt with, Oren wondered what else needed to be done before the day went out when he remembered his earlier plans of checking in with Grayson. They hadn't been able to talk during the away mission and, afterwards, they'd all been swept away for debriefing. The events following that were a blur and, by then, Oren had completely forgotten about his plans. But now, fresh from a job well done, Oren asked the computer for Jones' location; the engineer was, unsurprisingly, in the workout room. What someone would do there every single day was beyond Oren but, that was the beauty of friendship - it exposed you to strange people and habits.

As he entered the gym, Oren observed that, for once, there weren't many people there so Grayson was easy to spot.

On the other hand, Grayson had had a bit of a more rough evening. After a very stressful day which started early that morning, he was nursing one of his 'still drunk hangovers'. After having spent an eventful evening with Ellsworth, he decided to hit the gym to work out the excess toxins from the alcohol and work out the current confusion that was his head.

Today was no weights, pure cardio. The fuzzy nature of his head signalled to him that heavy weights and an impending hangover were not a good mix. He was in his usual gym gear, short shorts and a fitted t-shirt, pounding the treadmill hard like it was to blame for his current condition.

For once, Oren didn't feel the need to call out to get Grayson's attention and, instead, just walked around the taller man until he was in front of the treadmill, smiling up at him.

From behind his haze and bleary eyes Grayson managed to work up a smile as Oren came into view. "Finally came to take me up on my offer of helping you train?" He spent a moment looking over what he was wearing. "If so, you really need to go back and change."

Oren's smile widened into a grin. "Afraid not. Just wanted to see how you were after the mission. You seem okay," he observed happily, looking Grayson over.

"Yeah, okay, a li'l drunk meets hungover. But good. You?" Grayson smiled as he powered through on the treadmill. "How are you feeling after today?" His slightly glazed over eyes showed that he could not remember if he had asked that already.

"I'm fine," Oren said, then moved on quickly. "Why are you drunk?" he asked a bit cautiously, eyeing his friend and wondering how he in the universe was the treadmill a good idea if one was drunk.

"I was having drinks with someone from the ship at mine." He tried to cover up the extent to which the drinks went, but knowing Oren, he would poke into it somehow.

"Oh?" Oren raised an eyebrow. It was relatively late. Why was Grayson working out his hangover in the gym when he could've just let himself fall asleep? It made no sense, even for someone who exercises excessively, like he did. "Did it go well?"

"Well? You could say that, yeah." Grayson swore excessively in his head. He was never this guarded with Oren before, yet he didn't exactly want to go into some intimate details with someone he liked, heaven forbid it go as far back into their pasts were his supposed 'little black book' was involved (or in Grayson's case, little black telephone directory). His slightly intoxicated mind was jumping all over the place and the sweat coming from his body was more than just down to the treadmill.

Oren felt the bubbling emotions surge through Grayson, able to only make out anxiety and maybe even a little bit of fear, but it was hard to tell due to the intoxication. Wanting to be encouraging instead of pushing too much, Oren simply smiled sweetly at him. "That's nice." On the inside, he wondered why Grayson seemed so closed off since it wasn't what he was usually like, to Oren's knowledge.

Then it hit him that maybe the change in demeanor was because of what happened between them in the Observation Lounge and, suddenly, Oren felt a knot form in his stomach. His smile faltered visibly at the confirmation that, despite their agreement to be friendly, Grayson had changed his mind.

"What's wrong?" You didn't have to be a mind reader to see something was up with Oren. Grayson, not being one, saw it too.

Oren tried to put his old smile back onto his face but failed. Shrugging one shoulder, he looked up at Grayson, his own looking slightly glassy.

"Nothing," he said with a shake of his head. "You don't have to tell me anything, I know things are a little different now. It's okay." He tried to look understanding, but it still hurt. He liked Grayson; he was kind and he made him smile whenever they were together. Oren would miss that.

"I've just made a mess of things is all." It started, the word heave that only drink mixed with guilt can bring out of Grayson. "It...it's just. I promised myself not to do this again. I've been hurt enough before and here we are, few days on the ship and somehow I have already started making my rounds." His voice and his gaze were quite distant now, Grayson wasn't sure if he was talking to Oren anymore or himself but the words were still flowing.

Oren listened, pushing his hurt to the side as he watched Grayson open up. If it were anyone else, he would've asked if Grayson preferred to go somewhere more private, but the distraction of the treadmill seemed to work in giving Grayson something to focus on while he spoke. He wanted to say he knew how that felt but refrained. This wasn't about him.

"Who did you have drinks with?" Oren asked instead.

"Tonight? Well, Ellsworth from Ops." He then cursed when he realised he said tonight, which in his mind was implying he had a lot more drinks with a lot more people...which was completely true.

Oren smiled despite himself at the mention of the Betazoid. "I met Ells today. I like him, he's really sweet. A little scatterbrained but most young people are." He shrugged. "What did you talk about?" he asked innocently, wondering if there was more to the story. He had his suspicions, but didn't say anything.

Looking a little ashamed and rather bashful Grayson tried to answer in a round a bout fashion. "There wasn't really a whole lot of talking involved." He practically winced as he awaited Oren's answer.

His suspicions concerned, Oren just said, "Oh..." He nodded slowly, unsure how to proceed. He didn't know what to ask next but he could tell Grayson was nervous. "I hope you had a nice time." He smiled encouragingly at him.

Grayson didn't know what to say. His gaze turned to the floor, tears were welling in his eyes and there was nothing to be done to control them. One started to trickle down his cheek. For a moment it hung on his cheek bone before falling to the floor and making a sad puddle on the control panel.

Oren's eyes widened. "Oh, no. No, no, don't cry!" He shuffled forward, pushing a few buttons on the treadmill before finally finding the off-switch and catching Grayson before he could fall.

"Come on, now," he encouraged, rubbing Grayson's arm comfortingly. "Don't cry." He didn't know what Grayson was crying about, but that didn't matter to him. He was sad and this was no time to push for details of 'Why'.

"Just...difficult." Grayson said between sobs. "I wanted to try and change when I got here, but I haven't" His gaze still remained focused on the floor.

"Hey..." Oren said, lowering his voice into a more soothing tone as he reached up with one hand to cup Grayson's chin and tilt it up so that he could see his teary eyes. "It'll be okay. Come on, let's go to your quarters and I'll replicate you a cup of tea and you can tell me all about it. How does that sound?"

A sudden chill came over Grayson, not his quarters, he still had a guest. Telling Oren of this was not an option. He had to come up with something plausible and quickly. Like a Rolodex in his head, he came up with something, "My room-mate... I...we can't," Grayson seemed to blubber out.

For the first time since they met, Oren looked away as he realised that Grayson was lying. Not because of his sixth sense (though it helped), but because the younger engineer was terrible at it. The El-Aurian's shoulders slumped a bit in disappointment but he managed to keep a small smile on his face. Even if their friendly relationship was in question, he couldn't just leave Grayson to his anguish.

"Alright," Oren agreed, thinking. "Would you like to come to mine? I promise I replicate a mean cup of jumja tea."

"Okay," Grayson sniffed.

Oren nodded and started to lead Grayson out of the gym. On another occasion, he might've considered holding his hand for some extra support and comfort, but chose to restrain himself. If Grayson didn't want a closer friendship with him, he wasn't going to force it.

He knew that M'Ressa would want privacy later on to do her personal log (they had a system), so he didn't expect to see her in their quarters once he and Grayson arrived. The place was relatively clean, Oren noted as he gave the place a quick once over. Even if it wasn't it was too late to think on it now.

"Come on, sit over here." He calmly led Grayson to the couch so that he could sit down and immediately turned to the replicator. Minutes later, Grayson found himself being handed a warm cup of sweet-smelling tea and a box of tissues.

Grayson wiped away a few tears and muttered out a thanks. "Sorry about this," he whimpered out, "Things just got a little too much there for a second." The warmth of the tea in his hands felt good, the smell brought the faintest of smiles at the corners of his face. Catching a mild reflection in his tea, Grayson saw his eyes had become rather red and puffy. He cursed.

"It's alright, sweetheart," Oren said kindly, absently running his hand through Grayson's sweaty hair for a moment before finally sitting down next to him. He sat there, not too close so as to give Grayson his space, for several silent moments. He could feel the tension and regret emanating from his friend, as if they were escaping from his pores. But he didn't ask anything yet, wanting Grayson to tell him something only if he felt ready and willing to share. Instead, Oren leaned back on the couch, resting a comforting hand on the engineers back, caressing it.

Here it came, the uncontrollable word vomit. "Sorry Oren. I mean, I thought I had put everything like this behind me. But here I am. Once again. Turning myself into the ship's whore. The bike. The unwanted for more than a night." Grayson tried not to sob again. The words were flowing, but he really was giving no thought over them, someone had removed the filter between his brain and his mouth and turned the flow to maximum.

The hand on his back continued its soft caress as its owner listened. Waiting for Grayson to pause, he thought about his friend's predicament. While he himself didn't believe in the meaning of the word Grayson had used, he knew the human meaning behind it and judging by Grayson's use, the engineer did believe. So Oren pushed away the lecture of how meaningless the word was and chose another angle.

"Grayson, you shouldn't beat yourself up," Oren said, upset at seeing him like this. "We all make mistakes and it's sometimes too easy to fall into old habits. Be kind to yourself." He leaned forward until he was sitting hip to hip with Grayson, sliding the hand on his back up towards his shoulder to pull him into a one-armed hug.

Grayson enjoyed the hug, it soothed him a little. His tone turned to more matter of fact now, to fully explain the situation he was in. "Oren, I've been here what? Three days? I've slept with four members of the crew." Going back to being ashamed. "I'm a bad person."

Oren couldn't help but look surprised. Four people? Wow!

Mentally kicking himself for the hesitation and hoping Grayson wouldn't be insulted, Oren tried to think of what to say. He didn't know his exact situation, so he could only draw from his own experience. Still, there was one thing he was absolutely certain of.

"You're not a bad person, Grayson. If you were, you wouldn't be crying right now. Bad people don't feel guilty," he assured him, planting a soft kiss on his temple.

Resisting temptation, Grayson thought it best to paint the real picture of himself for Oren right now, clearly a little taken back by his admission decided to play it more tactfully, "If I've been like this the past few days, imagine the past few years of my life." He paused to let it sink in and imagined Oren pulling away from him like some kind of walking, communicable disease.

"Why would I waste time imagining that?" Oren asked. "I didn't know you then, I know you now." It seemed terribly simple to him. So, Grayson liked sex; no big deal. It actually explained why he was so eager to flirt with Oren in the first place and made the El-Aurian feel a little better about the interraction. But, again, judging by Grayson's current reaction, Oren felt there was a lot more to it than that, and he knew that feeling all too well.

"I like you, Grayson. Unless you've committed mass murder of a group of innocent people, I'm not going to change my mind about the fact that I think you're a good person," Oren insisted, not moving away.

"Sex is hardly something to be ashamed of. It all depends on why you're doing it."

Grayson put it bluntly. "To feel something. Feel wanted. Loved." The whole time he let his gaze drop to the floor, fixing it just beyond his feet where it will not be moved from easily.

Oren nodded. "I know how what you mean," he admitted. Years ago, Oren had done the same over a certain period, hoping that all of the experience would somehow fix whatever was wrong. It took him a long time realise that there was no hope for it working.

"I'm sorry, Grayson. I'm not sure what to say." Watching Grayson sympathetically, Oren felt at a loss. He knew that the line about how anonymous encounters would never fulfill such a need would fall on deaf ears because it had been the same with him. It was hard to crush hope that someone would come along and mend whatever was broken inside of you.

"All I want you to know is that my feelings for you haven't changed. I still care about you, and want you around," he explained, feeling helpless.

"Thank you," Grayson replied as he went to get up. "If it means anything, I feel the same." He moped towards the door, feeling pretty helpless himself.

The El-Aurian didn't get up, instead following the engineer with his eyes. "You know, you can always come and talk to me." Oren meant every word as they left his lips and he hoped Grayson could see that.

Grayson gave a tearful smile as he proceeded to leave. He didn't want to but felt he had to.

Oren just sat there, letting him leave. As the doors closed behind Grayson, Oren was left with the strange feeling of wondering if the exchange had happened at all. It had felt so superficial and fake that he couldn't help but simply push it aside in his mind.

[OFF]

Oren Idris, Ph.D.
Archaeologist/Anthropologist
USS Galileo

Ensign Grayson Jones
Assistant Chief Engineering Officer
USS Galileo

RSS Feed

Comments (1)