The Doc Aint Havin A Good Day (Part 4 of 4)

Posted on 17 May 2012 @ 2:01pm by Lieutenant Commander Pola Ni Dhuinn M.D. & Lieutenant JG Brayden White Ph.D.
Edited on on 17 May 2012 @ 6:00pm

2,468 words; about a 12 minute read

Mission: Episode 01 - Project Sienna
Location: USS Galileo - Sickbay
Timeline: MD06 - 0715hours

Previously.....

"Even when you do try to resolve them more often then not your still not free of them. There's something's you have to live your life with and those will never change no matter how hard you try." removing the other pad, Pola pressed the heel of her hands against her eyes for a few moments. "I sent them a subspace communication about my promotion to CMO, the night it happened. I still haven't heard back from them."

"Are you sure you're up to this now?" he asked quietly. He didn't want to push her and he had a feeling that finding the beginning of any kind of resolution on this would take more digging on his end. They weren't going to find the answer today, but they would find an answer. He knew that. She was strong-willed and smart. It was just about finding the right approach.

And now the conclusion...

[ON]



Hearing the question, Pola's immediate reaction was that shed done it again. She'd said too much, gone too far again. There was reasons she bottled everything up, she didn't want to burden others with her issues, didn't want others to feel like she was dumping on them. Not only did she break her rule, in 2hours shed talked to perhaps the wrong people. The professional inside said Brayden would have reasons for putting the breaks on, he was qualified in this. "Do you think that the boot is ready?"

"That wasn't an answer to the question I asked," Brayden said gently. "I just want to make sure you're feeling strong enough for this. The thing is," he braided his fingers and flexed them against each other, thinking. "The thing of it is, you're never going to be able to control what other people do. The resolution in a matter like this is going to come out of how you choose to react to situations, what sort of emotional life you choose for yourself, regardless of the stimuli provided. And that means, we talk about all the things that have made your relationship with your parents what it is. So, I'll ask again. Is this something you feel up to right now? Are you willing to start towards a solution? Or do you need more time?"

Wishing she could get up from the chair, Pola instead turned her chair to look out at the window, watching as her staff prepared for the day to come, looking after the one or two patients who were in for medicals. This is what she'd worked the last 10years before. He had been her ambition to make CMO by 32, she had never dreamed she'd have managed it by 28. "Emotions are high right now Brayden, a fecked foot, a promotion being given 2days ago, in the course of..." The Doctor calculated the hours since she last saw Jonathan, "In the course of about 5-6hours I've twice talked about my parents. Given my job means I have to be strong for you and the people who stand in sickbay now, opportunity doesn't allow that I can break down."

Very frustrated at this point at not being able to stand up and even pace, Pola swung her chair back around to face Brayden, not knowing what else to say. She'd buried this for 10years, why now did it have to rear her head. Opening her mouth to say more, the Doctor found herself unable to find anymore words and closed her lips again.

"Pola," he murmured when she seemed unable to say any more. She seemed unable to answer his question, too, which he took to mean she didn't want to take responsibility for what would happen either from opening the box or from leaving it shut. She needed a nudge one way or the other. Brayden had always believed that more knowledge made choices simpler. "Your ankle will heal. You will do your job in an exemplary fashion. But you have to sleep, rest, eat, and take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else. Personally, I don't think you will break down. Crying isn't breaking down; it's a release of energy. You're no less capable right now than you were a few minutes ago." He tapped his thumbs against each other, "You're doing what you love and what you're good at and you've recently been recognized for both with this promotion. That's extraordinary. And you want every other part of your life to be just as extraordinary. Why shouldn't you? Why shouldn't you be recognized and appreciated, not only for what you do, but for who you are?" He spread his hands, palms up, "And so you think about the people who should do that for you. The people who you would expect to be there unequivocally for you, no matter what, and you want them to be able to share in your joy and expand upon it. There's nothing wrong with wanting that. It's not a failure in you. You do know that, don't you?"

Reaching up a hand, Pola gathered a handful of her loose locks in a fist, holding it for a heartbeat before letting it go, her mind running over what Brayden just said. "I'm nothing special Brayden. I should never have gotten CMO for years, the ship got stuck and I was the convenient choice. I won't let anyone down but I wouldn't have gotten this job were it not for how things fell." Wrapping a loose piece of hair around her finger, the Doctor resisted the urge to fall back on an old childhood habit of chewing the ends. "I know that there shouldn't be anything wrong with wanting my parents to be proud of me but when your rejected you whole life, it's hard not to feel somehow it's a failure in yourself."

Finally getting fed up, Pola pushed her hand down onto the table, placing her weight into her hand as she raised to her feet, keeping her left foot off of the floor. "To answer your question...I don't know when it's right that it should happen, when it would be right to start prodding my box. I feel it's right now as I'm open and vulnerable and will talk easier but I also think we need to get this boot fitted and I need to get painkillers and sleep."

"Stay where you are. I'll check the replicator. We'll get you fitted and I'll help you back to your quarters." He crossed to the replicator he'd programmed with the boot's specifications and checked the time delay on it. "Less than a minute." He glanced back at her, "Pola... if you weren't the right person for the job, if you weren't capable and gifted, they'd have promoted the EMH." He winked at her, "So don't second guess yourself. You deserve this, not because you're convenient, but because you were devoted to the well-being of the ship." He pulled the portable stasis unit out of the replicator and brought it over to her, kneeling in front of her. "Foot, please."

Holding out her left foot, Pola looked down at Brayden, feeling slightly numb. She understood his words but after the emotion battering of the last few hours, she really felt numb. Trying to smile, Pola placed her hands on her colleagues shoulders, "We have a problem now...it's gonna look odd, limping around with just one shoe in a leotard."

He tapped the toe of the shoe and it became simply a metal ankle brace. He tapped it again and it expanded into a full dress boot. "Hologram-imbedded. I plan ahead," he smiled and returned it to the brace mode, slipping it over her bare foot and attaching it around mid-calf, over the ankle, and under the bottom of the foot. "Perfect fit," he assured her. "Want to give it a try? Careful and slow. You have to get used to the new balance of it."

"Hum...does that hologram make it into different types of shoes? If not I may need to rethink my casual wardrobe...I won't be able to wear shirts while I'm in this thing." Smiling, Pola used Brayden's shoulders to balance her while she got too her feet. Tentatively placing her weight on her left foot, the Doctor winced slightly at a slight pain which lessened as the status field readjusted to her weight.

"I'm sure you can get someone smarter than me to program it to do whatever you want it to," he said, carefully remaining still to help her keep her balance. "You're doing great. Don't push it too hard today. Tomorrow, you'll want to start doing gentle flexing exercises while you're seated. You know," he smiled up at her. "Nice and easy. One step at a time."

Letting out a breath, Pola took her hands away from Brayden's shoulders, "I'll need this to work today. I don't think I can spare you to carry me to and from my quaters and when I am needed in sickbay." Showing Brayden a strained smile, the Doctor started trying to walk, stumbling slightly as she got used to the feeling of the boot stabilisation field and the slight pain still evident.

"I can get you my hoverboard," he offered. "Could cut down on the number of steps you'd have to take, but you'd have to figure out the balance on it, too." He stood up, ready to catch her if she lost balance, but letting her do it on her own. "It's going to hurt a little. The tendon is learning to work again. But I can give you something to help today. Little hydrocortilene, maybe?"

"Hover board? I just just see the look on Jonathan's face when reports of his CMO flying around the ship on one of those gets back to him." Laughing, Pola put one foot infront of the other. She could see where for a few days simple tasks such as running would be very difficult, but aslong as she was careful she would be fine walking with abit more practise. "How about we leave the painkiller for the moment. The pain is currently bearable and I need to be able to work in a few hours."

"Of that, I have no worries." He watched her move gingerly around the space and went to pack up the food again. "I'm leaving this here. In case you get too wrapped up in your work and forget to eat." He looked at her, the arch expression marred by the slight grin. "Now. Sleep, I think?" He offered her his arm. "I think you'd look elegant on a hoverboard," he said as an afterthought.

Taking the offered arm, Pola leaned some of her weight against Brayden, allowing her to adjust her walk to continue to accustom herself to her new strut. "Sleep sounds good." Blushing slightly at her colleagues comment about the hover board, the Doctor smiled up at him, "Hum...I don't know how easily I can manage elegant with this boot....I wonder if there's a way I can fall elegantly."

He chuckled. "I'm sure your collapse in the holodeck was profoundly elegant," he assured her, scooping up his bags and guiding her out of her office on the way to her quarters. "Maybe you just need a few ribbons to cinch the deal."

"Which reminds me...make sure I never go on a date with you if ribbons and green fields in Ireland are your idea of a good holonovel." Grinning, Pola concentrated on taking one step at a time while trying to regulate her walking, wincing as she already noticed a slight limp.

"I think you're underestimating the seductive power of a green field," he told her with a wry grin. "But that's all right. I can keep it all to myself."

Stopping suddenly, Pola looked up at Brayden and just genuinely laughed for a few moments before tugging his arm onwards to the turbo lift, "I might need too see one of these programmed sometime Brayden...I'll even get a ribbon for you. Green ok with you?" Finally reaching the turbo lift, Pola collapsed against the wall. "Deck 2." Looking up at Brayden, her normal grin having returned to her face, "For some reason I now have a song in my head." Grinning, the Doctor sung a few lines, "As I came back through Dublin city at the hour of half past eight, Who should I spy but an Irish lady brushing her hair in the broad daylight. First she tossed it, then she brushed it...." Stopping as the doors opening, Pola found herself blushing realising that was very out of key. "I may stick to the dancing I think."

Brayden grinned back as she sang. It might have been off-key, but that was hardly the point of a good folk song. "Don't worry about it," he assured her. "Besides, you won't be dancing again for at least a week. Not unless you can manage it without risking that foot." He let her take the lead as he had no idea where her quarters were here. "Sometime, I'll have to sing you Waltzing Matilda. My eldest used to cover her ears when I opened my trap," he laughed. "The younger two didn't mind it so much, but oy, Ayati, would scowl at me. Tone deaf," he added, explaining.

Grinning as she tried the walk to her quaters on her own, testing her balance, "In all fairness you need some vocals for that song, so many low and high notes...It is very beautiful though." Watching her steps as she approached her quaters, the Doctor turned as she reached her door, "Well this is me. Some date this was. Inturpted breakfast, a collapsed boss in a holodeck, galivantly carrying her to sick bay, performing surgery, acting as a tissue for tears, teaching someone to walk again, feed them and then get them to bed..." Pola gasped for breath as she finished the list and laughed softly.

Reaching out a hand, she placed it against Brayden's arm, "Thank you for everything. I can honestly say your an absolute asset to my team. Thank you."

"We live to serve," he patted her hand lightly. "Sleep, all right? You'll feel better after some rest."

Smiling once more, Pola turned gently, entering the code for her room. After the last few hours, she really did feel that right now she wanted her bed and her sleep, she wasn't sure when the last time she had had such an emotional few hours. There was time later to figure out the rest.

[OFF]

---

Lieutenant JG Pola Ni Dhuinn
Chief Medical Officer
USS Galileo

Brayden White Ph.D. (pNPC Kestra Orexil)
Counselor
USS Galileo

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