No rewards…just consequences - Part 3

Posted on 04 Apr 2025 @ 11:27am by Ensign S'Ers-a M'Lyr'Zor & Lieutenant JG Sofie Ullswater

3,445 words; about a 17 minute read

Mission: Episode 21 - Helix
Location: Deck 4 / Personal Quarters (Sera)
Timeline: MD 05 - 1100

[ON]

Previously...

"I know you are scared. Your emotions are very loud." Her brow flicked in a gesture that would denote a sense of momentary levity as she was able to turn Sofie's prior words back at her. Sera dipped her head slightly...in resignation? In defeat? It did not matter. How could she deny her comfort when at her most vulnerable?

Releasing her grasp, Sera slowly, carefully extended her hand towards Sofie. "I saw glimpses into his thoughts...he was focused upon you. Pale skin with a pink undertone, not green. A figure filled with graceful curves, not straight lines. Cheerful features, not an expression empty of emotion...he was rapturous. He whispered your name; it felt quite significant to him."

And now the conclusion...

In moments where you are upset or scared a little joke can help. Sera's little morsel of levity had been appreciated by Sofie. She had smiled, things seemed like they were going to work out. It had also softened the blow of what Sera had said next. "He doesn't like me like that." Sofie started with the flat out denial, her statement was abrupt and immediate.

She took a moment to breathe and took Sera's hand. There was a lot of comfort to be derived from it, it let her collect her thoughts enough for a second statement "This situation we are in with its network of connections, it would be strange if he didn't also feel some of the things that I have felt about you and you have felt about me. It wasn't any more than that." Or was it? She thought about the time she had snapped at him in the geology lab. Had he always found her attractive?

"The other day the two went to grab a couple of drinks at the Callisto bar. I'd had a bad day and I needed a friend to talk to. He's the only real friend I have left." Sofie closed her eyes both to try and remember what happened and to focus on the reassuring touch of Sera's hand. "I blacked out, I don't remember what happened. The Other Sofie, the voice from the fire, she told me that nothing happened and that me and Lamar had just shared some drinks and talked. But I think she might have lied to me. I'm starting to remember other things. We went back to his quarters..."

Sofie was scared by what she remembered, scared that she didn't remember more but right now another worry entered her head. What would Sera think? Sofie had so profoundly intruded on the relationship Sera had with Lamar so many times now. Guilt had followed but she'd always been an inactive disruption or an unwanted observer. She didn't know what had happened in Lamar's quarters but she could guess. "If anything happened it was the influence of the cold station. He is in love with you, not me. The feelings I have for you are false, the feelings he has for me are false. It is the two of you that are true."

"Yes. The influence of the cold station." Sera parroted but in a flat tone. This was the second time Sofie had told her that what Lamar felt for her was true...but what she had just learned cast somewhat of a shadow on the veracity of this assertion. Why would Lamar even feel that way towards her at all? Was it Lamar at all? No reassurance came with this line of internal questioning.

They really knew nothing of one another...and she was alien. How could she adequately please him...or her? Sofie was like Lamar...beautiful...exotic. Human. They were familiar to one another. What could Sera bring to either of them that would benefit either? She had not been enough for a Vulcan mate...how would she effectively navigate this? Instinctual possessiveness warred with outright unfamiliarity on how to engage given this unorthodox scenario.

"It doesn't feel 'false,' to me, Sofie. This all feels true. Is this simply another attempt to cause pain within us? The entity does seem to thrive on that."

"If that is the intention then it's fair to say that it's working. I've felt terrible ever since this started." Sofie laughed a bitter scared laugh, there was a perverse comedy to imagining an interdimensional creature using love triangles as its preferred torture method. "I'm not someone who is interested in or enjoys sex. It has made all of this very uncomfortable, upsetting even. Also means even if what we share is true I don't think I'd ever be enough for either you or Lamar."

The human shrugged but kept a hold of her companion's hand. For a moment it looked like she had more to say but she said nothing, holding back the thoughts and speculations about what had happened in Lamar's quarters. She didn't know and until she did speculation would only make things worse.

Sera focused on Sofie's words. Yes. She now understood what drove the chief science officer's ongoing distress, currently. "Sofie. I do not require such a thing from you. This entire situation is far from ideal."

Sera studied their hands for a brief moment, finding the ongoing touch soothing. "I told you that I would do whatever you wanted, and you are enough just as you are."

"You say that today but..." Thinking about her past failed attempts at romance took up enough of Sofie's thoughts that the fear started to lessen. As she kept talking she started to bring the panic under control "I've found it hard to engage in courtship with allosexuals in the past. There can be a mismatch of expectations even if I am open about it from early on. Partners can develop feelings of entitlement, then follows resentment and eventual collapse."

Sofie sat there for a moment, hand in hand with a woman she felt she loved. She thought about what Sera said, thought that maybe it was possible this time, maybe things could work out. She wanted to believe in that so so much but the more she thought about it the more another question started to loom in her mind. "You said that the voice talked to you about sex, it was affecting you and Lamar in the shuttlecraft. If what I wanted contradicted what it wanted, who do you suppose would win? Could you stay in control? We need to defeat this monster else the three of us will be in danger forever."

Sofie brought up a fair point. "It is a rather insidious being; I did not actively recognize any manipulations...it was what I wanted in the moment. Nonetheless, I agree with your assessment of this situation. The entity must be stopped...I fear that it will not be satisfied with just the three of us...Commander Tarin will expect us to divulge this information; we are compromised." It was a most uncomfortable thing to say, yet that did not make it any less logical.

"No." Sofie was stern, her self-preservation instincts would brook no discussion of the idea. She knew she needed to shut this down before she lost control. She looked into Sera's eyes and her grasp on Sera's hand changed. It was a very slight change but its meaning was clearly communicated: Listen to me or there will be consequences. "You tell Tarin and they will take me and Lamar away. We'll lose our jobs and we may well end up back in the hands of the people that did this to us. You will never see either of us again."

"We need you to keep this secret for us. If you tell anyone you will be completely alone again, you will have failed us just like you..." Sofie stopped herself. To invoke Viruk would be cruelty but she had been about to do it anyway. She paused, swallowed and looked away, "You've got to trust me Sera, I promise I can find a way out of this for all of us."

Sera blinked as she observed the almost indistinct change in Sofie. Her voice, her grip...what was she getting a glimpse of here, exactly? Was she conveying a threat?

Fascinating.

Then a competent demonstration of an attempt at manipulation to ensure compliance; leaving off the end of the sentence to allow the receiver to draw their own conclusions.

Cunning.

Sera's neutral mien shifted to an expression of open amusement. "Why, Sofie...you surprise me, and I am not often surprised. You are the first human I have met that I believe would survive my home. I will not volunteer anything and I will accept your promise. But understand this; in my clan there is a saying, 'promises are prisons, be careful who you make your jailer."

Sera really was interesting. Sofie couldn't help but grin at her response. Though fear still lingered at the back of her head now she was feeling other things. Things like intrigue and excitement and the joy of the game "Which of us does that make the jailer? I could see a case for either of us. Both of us? I think both of us." Her voice was like song and her face had lit up but her grip on Sera's hand had not changed and an implicit danger still lurked behind every word, no matter how playfully they might be spoken.

"And depending on how things go you might have to end up taking me to your home as your wife. I'd get to really put my survival skills to the test and learn the intricacies of every little saying your clan has. I think I might like the desert. Tell me, what would your mother think of me?"

"That is the point of the 'saying,' Sofie. To consider, quite carefully, whom you are making or accepting a promise from."

Sera then lapsed into silence as she considered what Sofie said next. No thought had been given really to what the future might hold. To bring home humans, especially considering the context--as mates--well, it would be an outright scandal...

"My mother's thoughts on any of this are utterly irrelevant." She replied in a tone that was cold and dismissive, expressing where the words did not just how much she loathed the woman her bore her. "You would need to concern yourself with my foremother, T'Ael, the clan matriarch."

"The other day you said your mother might be able to help us break the chain. I think that makes her thoughts very relevant." Hearing the tone with which Sera had spoken of her mother Sofie got something of glimpse into how much it must have meant that she had offered to contact her at all. She didn't want to press the issue but if there was help to be found she hoped Sera could find it.

Her grey eyes lingered on the flickering light cast by the torches that lined the sleeping chamber. This was likely a real place from Sera's home. Talking about family, even just hearing a name from Sera's clan, Sofie longed to come here one day, longed to be introduced to these people as Sera's wife, and longed to be welcomed into a new family. With a pang of sadness she reminded herself that any future like that belonged to Lamar, not her. Despite the words of her threat it was herself, not Sera, who would be completely alone by the end of this.

"My maternal grandmother is something of a matriarch, though these days my mother Athanasia is responsible for a lot of the day to day operations of the family business. I don't think either of them would like you." Just because the dream would never come to pass didn't mean she couldn't spend a little time dreaming. "So if I'm going to have to be concerned with T'Ael what do I need to know? What would she think of this young human science officer that you'd just dragged up to her door?"

"Yes...the other day I did mention contacting my mother - she was trained as a priestess of Seleya before my father took her as a wife. If anyone could have given insight into this it would have been her...but I am concerned that what has occurred between us all is far beyond her realm of expertise...Nonetheless, I will stand behind the offer and reach out to her if you feel it could be beneficial."

Sofie's family would not like her. Lamar had spoken of that previously; he seemed to think she would be well perceived within his family, but she was skeptical of his optimism regarding that. Her family? Gods...coming home with a human--or two--in tow would be beyond scandalous. A defiantly self-satisfied sensation bloomed within.

"T'Ael would...well, I cannot accurately predict her response, Sofie. She thrives on being rather hard to anticipate, but she does appreciate a good game. You would have much to prove to her; she is not overly 'fond' of humans - but I do not believe it would be an insurmountable task." Just almost insurmountable.

"She sounds fun. Hopefully I'd be up to the challenge, I'd do my best not to let you down." Sitting there next to Sera, holding her hand, it all felt almost within her grasp, a possible future filled with joy and companionship and the exciting challenges of that strange desert world. Sofie wanted to ask about Sera's other family, about brothers and sisters, or maybe share more about her own home in New Sydney. She didn't do either though, just sat quietly for a bit.

She gave Sera's hand a little squeeze, a human gesture that she hoped translated well enough into Vulcan. "Don't worry about it though. We'll work out a way to fix all this."

Sofie's feelings of cautious optimism mixed with a discordant feeling of impending doom was difficult to reconcile initially - however, Sera recognized now how such conflicting emotions could exist simultaneously. She dipped her head once in a version of as nod at her adun'a's words. "It is illogical to worry about a potentiality we cannot yet predict. What is your human saying...one cannot foresee the future?"

Sofie had promised she would obtain a solution to their current, shared, troubles. After seeing into her mind, and sharing with her in this in-between state of consciousness, Sera sensed she would not rest until a solution was obtained. Well, if anyone could figure all of this out, it would be Sofie.

"I have a holodeck program I have been working on since joining the academy. It is a representation of my home. I would find it agreeable to share it with you."

"I might also find it agreeable." Sofie closed her eyes before speaking again. This new space had none of the calm of the courtyard and the circumstances that had brought the two of them here had been alarming. Even if she'd been able to push away the immediate fear, anxiety still gnawed at the corners. Still it felt more honest here, under the flickering light of fire, and sitting and holding Sera's hand filled Sofie with determination.

"You have shown me these spaces that you use to meditate, you've answered all my questions and now you want to show me a recreation of your home. I feel like you have shared so much of your private life with me but I have shared nearly nothing with you. I'm not even sure how I would begin to. I'm not sure what anyone would want to know about me." Eyes shut, Sofie found herself starting to ramble again. It wasn't something she often did but here in this shared space it was hard not to. Words and thoughts flowed so quickly into spoken communications. "We are like strangers yet all this feels so natural. It's strange, isn't it? I think it is strange. At the very least it feels strange."

"Are we not strangers to everyone we meet, initially? But, Sofie, perhaps your analogy is ill-fitting; we are not strangers at all. The connection we currently share is one that is formed between mates. I want to know everything everything about you, Sofie. Preferable...non-preferable...mundane...learning these things helps to flesh out who you are." She looked away from their entwined hands and towards the veils of fabric obscuring much of the room surrounding them in this space. "There should be no secrets within the bond, but, given that this connection between us was not purposefully chosen, I do not wish to push you to divulge anything."

It didn't seem like the right moment to say anything profound, to talk about the moments that had defined her life, Sofie didn't want to just leap into one of those out of the blue but as she trawled her mind for some mundane anecdote or fact from her past they all seemed so uninteresting. She wasn't used to sharing herself with other people like this but she wanted to say something. What did people in normal situations do when they were trying to get to know each other, what did they normally share? "Maybe we could start by sharing a meal. Things are going to be busy when we reach Enus but we could try and make the time. Are there any foods you particularly like?"

Sera considered for a moment. It was a normal question - nothing existential or traumatic...a reasonable inquiry regarding dietary preferences. She almost did not know how to answer it. "I have not had much opportunity to sample foods other than what has been provided on-ship. I am vegetarian by...well...cultural necessity, really. However, I did have a hamburger recently, I believe it was called. I am willing to sample new things, but if it contains overt animal flesh...that may be better sampled in a more private setting...that is if it is something containing meat that you enjoy? Otherwise, there is a Vulcan cuisine day in the mess hall on a weekly basis. The recipes were adequate, although there were some questionable substitutions. I may have to speak with Nesh Saalm regarding this but did not wish to do so given the attention to detail with some of the recipes."

"Regardless, sharing a meal with you would be most agreeable."

"Maybe I could cook something for you. I'm not much of a cook but it could be fun." The perfectionist inside Sofie immediately corrected her words: it would not be fun, she'd agonise over every single choice, spend hours preparing and when things started to go the smallest amount off from her plan she would start catastrophising and would ruin the whole affair. She shook her head "Or maybe we could just eat together next Vulcan cuisine day. A lot less chance of things going wrong. Do you cook at all?"

Sera felt the turmoil, and the side of her mouth tugged in a 'not' smirk. Sofie appeared to worry about some unusual things. "Please do not worry, so, Sofie. I have never 'cooked' anything outside of preparing tea." She confessed. "Such a skill was not deemed necessary. I am uncertain how much assistance I would be for you...but I would be willing to try."

Thinking back on just how different everything was once leaving Vulcan caused Sera to realize just how insular her life had been until joining Starfleet. This was yet another mundane reminder of that fact.

Their shared 'world' suddenly went hazy and colorless before snapping back into crisp mental focus. "Please forgive me, adun'a...but I am fatiguing. I do not know how much longer I can maintain this connection."

"Don't worry, the logistics of eating can be just as easily discussed back in your quarters." Sofie squeezed her companion's hand once again with a smile. It had been nice, mostly. It had been relaxing, sometimes. She was glad she had been here "I'm happy to go back."

Sera looked to Sofie and shut her eyes and perceptions returned to their seated forms with Sofie's hands now fully clasping Sera's upturned ones. Almost regretfully, she removed her hands and quickly pushed herself to standing. What had been learned was somewhat...troubling. Additional meditation was now most assuredly required. "This was a rather poor example threh-tor kashek. At least it was not overly distressing, I hope?"


[OFF]


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Ensign S'Ers-A M'Lyr'Zor
Chief Engineering Officer
USS Galileo-A

&

Lieutenant JG Sofie Ullswater
Chief Science Officer
USS Galileo-A

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