Eye of the Storm

Posted on 19 Sep 2023 @ 8:48pm by Commander Scarlet Blake & Lieutenant JG Karras

2,372 words; about a 12 minute read

Mission: Episode 18 - Cold Station 31
Location: Regula I - Level 16, Blake's Temporary Office
Timeline: MD 17, 1500 hrs

[ON]

Blake made a good play at tapping at her computer screen but she finally had to sit back, pushing away from the desk. Her mind drifted back to her meeting with Tarin, making her sigh heavily. She absently took hold of a padd, but all she did was tap it against her hand. She finally tapped her commbadge instead, glancing to the time. "Blake to Karras, do you have a few minutes to spare? I'm in my Regula I office."

"Of course, Commander! I'm on my way."

A few minutes later there was a chime at the door. On the far side, the counselor ran his hand through his tousled hair in an effort to look more presentable. In truth he'd dozed off while drafting a letter and he felt like he'd just been awakened at four in the morning. He shook his head to make himself more alert and instantly undid whatever styling he'd accomplished.

"Come in," Blake called quickly, snapping her computer screen closed before pushing herself up as the door opened. "Thanks for coming, can I get you anything?" she was already on her way to get a coffee from the replicator, feeling the need for it if she was going to try and string coherent words together.

"Yes please, coffee, black," he requested, gently massaging the bridge of his nose. He wasn't sure just why the XO wanted to see him, so instead of moving to the chair opposite her desk or the sofa along the wall, he decided to simply stand still and follow her lead.

A couple of moments later and Blake offered a cup over to him, holding her own with the same simple refreshment. She seemed to have a similar hesitation as the counsellor for a moment, but she finally moved to the sofa, taking a seat and motioning for him to join her. "I was called to a meeting with Commander Tarin," she started, to the point, but then pausing to try and clearly define what it was she wanted to talk through. "It didn't go well," she finally added, because that was the crux of why she wanted to talk to him about it. "She goaded me into an argument."

"Of course she did," Karras sighed, shaking his head. "She did the same with me yesterday. I find her to be... difficult." He took a sip of his coffee and looked at Scarlet directly. "I know I can step back and be objective... well, relatively objective, if you'd like to unpack your argument. I just think it's only fair that you be aware of my own bias on the subject of our acting captain before you continue. I can be your counselor or your colleague, whichever way you'd like to proceed."

Scarlet let out a soft breath, her shoulders relaxing a touch with the relief. "Funny, I was going to say something similar," she admitted softly. "I can clearly see the friction caused in how she communicates with others, but I'm her First Officer, and I even used to be the ship's counsellor. I set the example. But the cooler I remained, the more she poked at me. And I'm not sure if I reacted because she was out of line, or because I just lost my cool," she shook her head with a frown and looked to her own hands. "The rough start was my fault. She told me that she would be replacing Captain Saalm as the ship's commanding officer and I...well...all I could bring myself to say was 'interesting'..." she arched an eyebrow at her own sharpness. "Not particularly charitable. But honest to how I felt, all things considered."

Karras considered what Blake had shared. "Your two reactions? They needn't be mutually exclusive. You may very well have lost your cool - I know I did - but that doesn't mean she wasn't out of line." He took another sip of coffee and leaned back a bit, his mind trying to reconcile all he knew and had observed of Tarin. "She is such a contradiction, trying very hard to promote a tough-as-nails, badass alpha facade while at the same time being so desperate for validation and approval. Especially from her crew. Especially from her senior staff, and from you more than anyone."

Blake blinked, watching him with surprise for a long moment, trying to let the unexpected words sink in. "Is that what you see?" she asked quietly, an honest question. "I rather thought that she either doesn't give a damn about me or actively dislikes me. She's so eager to prove me wrong often enough. If I don't tow the line, she resorts to insults. That's what made me lose it this time," she glanced away, clearly not proud that she'd lost her temper. She maybe even looked a bit nauseous at the idea of letting that much emotion slip through in those circumstances. "She said I played my job fast and loose, like my 'Maquis parents'..." she shook her head, her jaw tensing as she looked to the view instead of the counsellor. "I've never worked with a Captain who talks to their crew in that manner. I shouldn't have lost my temper, but I don't know what I should have done instead."

"How distasteful to mention your parents. So quick to find anyway to cut someone down to make herself look taller." He sat aside his mug and leaned forward, folding his hands while resting his arms on his thighs. "Her juvenile behavior makes me truly question whether or not she is fit for command. But she doesn't just like to argue, she knows how to do it well. I think she could possibly block, or at least stall, any medical attempts to remove her from duty. Which in truth we may not have complete grounds to do - I could be leaning that way because I don't like her."

Karras shook his head, surprised at his admission. He looked over to Blake, slightly embarrassed. "I... I don't know that I should have said that. But it's true. I don't like her. I guess there is no way around the fact that my personal feelings have colored my professional judgement."

Blake held her breath at hearing such an honest admission from the naturally peaceful man. She felt a twinge of guilt, for opening this up with him. But mostly, she felt relief of all things, because it answered her first question. "No, thank you for your honesty. I asked you here because I wanted to know if it was just me," she said quietly, searching his eyes. "If I was the only one who has a problem with her behaviour...if I was the one with the warped point of view...I...think you've answered that question," she said quietly, shaking her head lightly.

Scarlet fell silent for a moment, to gather her thoughts, because she didn't want to just dump her emotions on the other man, that wasn't fair, and it wasn't constructive either. "For me, my concern is her communication. It feels like she's always on transmit rather than receive. More worryingly, the way she speaks to her subordinates, it feels so disrespectful. It seems like she thinks she's whipping people into shape...but to me, it feels like she's crossed the line into just straight up whipping them..." she shrugged because she couldn't find another to put it. "Is there anyway you can think to advise her on improving her communication style? Honestly, I think if I try she'll feel duty bound to do the opposite at this point. But as a counsellor..." she left the rest unsaid, he knew and understood that part of a counsellor's role was specifically around advising the Captain.

"I can try," Karras offered. Privately he wondered if Tarin had Oppositional Defiant Disorder. He doubted it, as she was not contrary with her superiors. More likely was Blake's observation that Tarin was molding them, shaping them, making them stronger. Or at least intending to. "She is due for an evaluation. I'm waiting a few days to allow time for all parties to calm down... hopefully Galileo isn't sent off on another urgent mission before then." He cocked his head. "In her defense, she likely felt she had no other choice but to hammer her perspective onto us. The Cold Station was an urgent and secretive mission, one we had no notice we'd be undertaking."

The relief was evident from the often stoic first officer and Scarlet sat back as a tight breath escaped. At least if they were going to have an evaluation, he'd have the opportunity to explore it with Tarin. "I understand from a mission perspective...my concern is around what her expectations are on an individual basis, and that it feels like she uses a stick rather than a carrot to achieve them. But thank you, I feel better knowing you have an evaluation coming up." And that it wasn't just all in Blake's head. Or worse, her failing as a First Officer.

"You are welcome... wish me luck!" He chuckled. It had been good for him to hear her concerns and to see her perspective. ON one hand, it was validating - but he appreciated how she had kept her concerns in perspective. She must have been a helluva counselor. "Tarin aside, how are you holding up? How's Lily?"

"Lily?" Scarlet looked to him with surprise at the mention of her daughter. But her features relaxed and a small smile even returned to her. "She's...she's tenacious, that's for sure. She's always bonny...but...well...I've been so busy, I don't see her as much as I used to," she glanced down to her hands at that, a flicker of guilt emerging. "I can't help but worry about her. She's at that age where the real world is becoming much more real to her."

Karras chuckled, then quickly begged forgiveness. "I'm sorry, I understand what you are saying. It just struck me as humorous because the real world is becoming more real to me at my age, too. And I have a few years on Lily." His thoughts flashed back to the Cold Station, and what they experienced there. His eyes grew sad as these thoughts led to the next, perhaps inevitable, question.

"How are you processing the away mission?"

Scarlet took in a deep, slow breath at the question, as if to buy a little time to consider the answer...or maybe it came from how heavy a weight the answer could be. It was fair though, and a prudent enquiry...and absolutely could have had an effect on how sharply she'd reacted to the Captain. "I have led...a lot of difficult away missions," she said quietly, propping an elbow up on the back of the sofa, to let her head rest in her hand. "I can't...tell you, the obnoxiously absurd things I've had to get people home from. Rock monsters...cardassian zombies...solar flares...I've been shot at, stranded, wounded, imprisoned, violated...but this? We saw things that I don't think I will ever shake off..."

Blake rubbed the back of her neck uneasily, her already porcelain skin a shade paler. "Night is worse. In the dark, I see so much of it all over again," she said quietly, and there was an edge to her tone, almost as if angry with herself for it. "I don't think anyone can understand unless they were there," she glanced back to him at that, meeting his eyes. "You saw it."

"I know," he affirmed, the color draining from his face as well, even though he had been the one to broach the topic. "I've been thinking about us... those of us that were there, I mean. I've considered scheduling some group time but... but I don't know. You know as well as I do that recovery can't be forced, so it would need to be volunteer, not mandatory. And... well, I think I shouldn't be the facilitator, you know? Not me, you, or even Allyndra... I think it should be someone who wasn't there."

Blake nodded thoughtfully at the idea, idlily twisting a loose strand of hair. He was right, it was often difficult to persuade Starfleet types to consider therapy. She herself was no exception, having cut short the therapy she'd been referred to after her captivity a few years back...so she was in no position to judge anyone else for those instincts. "Well, there's the Chaplain," she suggested softly. "He's used to running support groups of all kinds. I think it's better to offer and it not be accepted than not to."

"Thorne, of course," Karras blinked, surprised he hadn't considered the possibility. Further proof his thoughts weren't as focused as they should be. "I'll speak to him, see if he'd be willing to moderate. If he's agreeable, we can send out an invitation and see if anyone shows up."

"It's a good idea, Counsellor," Blake said softly, even if she didn't feel that he needed her assurance. He knew his vocation, and his instincts were excellent. It resulted in an easy confidence emanating from the man, an air that was important in the therapy room. "Thank you for coming over at such short notice, I apologise if I've disrupted your day."

"Not at all," Karras assured, standing up to take his leave. "It's always a pleasure. Did you need anything else?"

Scarlet shook her head, and her shoulders shifted with the change in her, the more usual cool demeanour sliding back into place. "No, you've been a great help, thank you."

"You're welcome. See you around!" Karras gave a gentle wave as he turned and headed back to his other duties.

Blake watched the doors close before letting out a long, heavy breath. She looked to the view, resting her head in her hand as her blue eyes darkened a shade. Not for the first time, she lamented the fact that their stay at the station was so short.

[OFF]

LTJG Karras
Deputy Counselor
USS Galileo-A
[PNPC Taymor]

CMDR Scarlet Blake
First Officer
USS Galileo-A

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