The Con Is On

Posted on 01 May 2017 @ 6:11pm by Rear Admiral Lirha Saalm & Lieutenant Amaranai Franklin & Chief Petty Officer Crispin Snow

4,703 words; about a 24 minute read

Mission: Episode 14 - Statecraft
Location: IKS DuJa'Q - Deck 7, Warrior's Mess
Timeline: MD 08 - 1828 hrs

[ON]

"There, those two over there." Snow leant into Amaranai, and indicated the two Klingons he'd spent time choosing to be the target of the planned hustle. "They have the physical access we'd need, and the one on the left is a bit too partial to the Dutch Courage, if you catch my drift. All we have to do is hook them, then reel them in."

Amaranai still wasn't sure about this plan but anything to get access to the communications would be helpful, even if they only would get a few minutes. But what else could they do? The trip was still going to take several more days and no one was sure what would happen to the Starfleet crew once this crazy mission was over.

"Here goes nothing," Amaranai whispered.

She moved closer to the two Klingons that were seated.

"What say you, Klingon?" she said with confidence. "Interested in a game of chance?"

The warrior who the security officer had approached was currently three mugs of Bloodwine deep with an almost-full goblet sitting on the table next to him. He looked up at the two Humans with an annoyed look on his face, one that wondered why he had been interrupted to play a 'game.' "Klingons do not play 'games,'" he rudely retorted. "And I doubt there is anything you can offer us when we inevitably defeat you."

"We might not have much in way of collateral, but we have Blood Wine."

Amaranai hoped the lie would be enough to coax the Klingons to play.

"I already have Bloodwine," he replied, grabbing his silver mug and holding it up to show her while some of its contents splashed on the tabletop.

The drink on the table hit the table and Amaranai could see that it was, indeed, Blood Wine. What else would they be able to barter with?

"Fine," she said. "No 'games'." She paused a moment. "What about opportunities to show off your intelligence, cunning and strategic minds?"

She still needed something that they would want, though. The game was one thing, but there had to be something worth playing for.

"As for what you could win, you name it. If I can get it, and you win, I will."

The Klingon's eyes traveled up and down Franklin's toned body. The older Starfleet uniforms the crew wore were much tighter and revealing than the present-day jumpsuits and jacket versions. "I will agree to your terms. And if I..." he paused to look at the other Klingon across from him, "we," he corrected with a devious grin, "win, then we want you for ourselves."

Amaranai felt the gaze of the Klingon. He didn't even have to say anything for her to know exactly what he wanted if he won - his words only confirmed it. She figured as much, considering he wouldn't accept their fake Blood Wine anyway, but she was suddenly worried about her ability to play cards, as if being the bet herself made her nervous to even play.

"Deal," she said with no hesitation and with confidence. "If you win."

"Just a moment, gentleman," Snow butted in and pulled Amaranai to the side, but still close enough for the two Klingons to hear. "Are you sure about this?" he gave her a concerned frown. "It's a bit more than a bottle of 80 year old Bloodwine."

"Yes...are you sure?" the Klingon mocked, this time with a toothy grin and a hearty laugh that was echoed by his counterpart across from him.

Amaranai didn't like being pulled away from the conversation as it made her look suddenly weak or subservient, especially since Snow was the one to pull her away. She listened but said nothing. Hearing the Klingons mocking Snow from behind her, she turned around. Amaranai Franklin had grown up with bullies and those were just the ones in her family. These Klingons were nothing. She walked right up to the one that had spoken and shoved a fist into his face. It was intentional, of course, but it was meant as a non-vocal way of saying, "don't mess with me."

Concerned, but seeing she'd made her decision, Snow let her go, and got ready to back her up. If it came to it, they could always through the fake Bloodwine in to raise stakes and or sweeten the pot. If that failed, then maybe they could persuade the Klingons to try it. Imbibing something that was 98% alcohol by volume was bound to put even the toughest Klingon off his game.

At first there was shock from the Klingon that the Human woman had dared strike him. Then he stared at her for a long moment and eventually spread a devious grin across his face. "...Yess...I like your spirit. But what is to say you will not go back on your word? Humans are untrustworthy, afterall."

"I said it was a deal," she said. "Give us thirty minutes and we'll be ready.

The warrior regarded Franklin with narrowed eyes before agreeing to the terms with a deep grunt of acknowledgement. "Thirty minutes! Or I will take you for myself for violating your word."

Amaranai was glad that Klingon didn't simply beat her to a pulp after she hit him, but she had a feeling that he was honorable and would like to keep things that way until he felt otherwise. For this plan to work, honor was going to have to play a big part. She turned to Snow and pulled him away.

"Okay," she said. "Let's do this. We need a perfect place to play that's out of the way and where we can't really be heard. No need to let the whole ship know what we're doing."

Snow nodded. "Already lined up. Deck nine, aft section, room nine seven two. Its a storage bay. You'd only need to be in there for deuterium coolant, and the only person who'd need that is me."

"Perfect," she said and then turned back to the Klingons. "Deck nine. Aft section, room nine seven two. Thirty minutes."

"Do not be late," the Klingon agreed. "And no tricks, Starfleet," he cautioned.

Amaranai left with Snow and made her way to the storage room. When they arrived, there was a table with a deck of cards already on it.

"Are you ready for this?" she asked Snow.

Snow opened the cabinet where he'd stashed his fake vintage bloodwine. "There's still plan B you know."

"Whatever happens, we have to keep going."

"I'll back you up, but I don't like this. We should have pushed the Bloodwine more."

"I don't like it either," she said. "But you heard him. He has enough Blood wine. We'll just have to make it up as we go."

Snow gave her a doubtful look. "I hope you're right. You better be ready to play your socks off."

Exactly thirty minutes after the discrete arrangement had been made, the door to the storage bay swooshed open and the two punctual Klingons from the mess hall made their entrance. One of them paused to briefly take in his surroundings, then moved toward the Starfleet pair with his associate when he spotted the two of them. "What challenge have you devised?" the lead one demanded.

There was no turning back now. Amaranai had to hope that the Klingons would be willing to play a card game that they knew little about and not get too out of hand.

"Since I am at a slight disadvantage," she started. "I was going to suggest a human game of chance." She paused. "Poker. It's a rather simple game and we can play a few rounds so you get the hang of it and then we'll start playing for keeps."

Amaranai had no idea if this plan was going to work but they had to do something. They couldn't just let themselves sit on the ship without trying to contact Starfleet.

The other Klingon that'd remained silent until now glanced up and to the side in deep thought when he heard the name of the challenge. "Yes.. I think I have heard of this game," he thoughtfully replied. "It is where a group of people attempt to deceive each other to gain their own personal advantage, yes?"

"More or less," Amaranai said. "Will this game be sufficient?"

"Sufficient?!" barked the warrior. "If you want to play Romulan games of deception with us, then so be it. But know that there is no honor in what you propose." Shady-handed card games didn't appear to be the most interesting to the two Klingons, but they nonetheless agreed to partake.

"Then don't think of it as deception, think of it as outwitting your opponent by showing him your ability to judge his moves is superior to his ability to judge yours." Snow said, shuffling the deck. "And we should also perhaps raise the issue of what you two fine gentleman are offering if we win."

Both of the Klingons looked at each other before turning back to the two Starfleeters. "What could we possibly offer to you that would be of any use? We are communication officers...we do not have access to provisions or prized possessions."

"Well, I suggest you think of something, as I'm not sure I want to wager my superior officer's virtue against Klingon bluster, and, I'll be honest, You're not my type if you're thinking of reciprocating." Snow replied

"It was you who approached us," barked the other warrior. He exchanged glances of disapproval with his compatriot before looking back to Snow and Franklin. "State your requirements or we will end this charade!"

Snow grinned at Amaranai. "We want news from Earth. Whatever you can get hold of. Is anyone looking for us? Have we been declared KIA? Who won the superbowl? We've been out of touch with home for a while, and need to know how much trouble we're going to be in."

It wasn't a terribly dangerous request. Enough to lure them in. They could raise the stakes later, when their marks were tantalisingly close to Amaranai's flesh and thought they couldn't lose. Then they could pluck and serve the two Klingons and get what they really wanted - unrestricted access to the comms array to get a message home.

"Intelligence from your homeworld? That is all you want?" asked the Klingon with a bit of internal confusion. It almost seemed one sided, as if all they needed to do if they weren't victorious was to tap into the Federation's subspace relay network and download a bit of comm chatter. The Human woman, on the other hand...if she lost...

"Look," Amaranai said. "Starfleet personnel are used to contact with Earth and colonies, even in the most basic form. Not only was our ship destroyed, but we were on Kreanus for some time. And now we're here and we still don't know anything that has happened to the galaxy in all that time." She paused. "I myself am curious who won the most recent Parrises Squares championship."

Amaranai was laying it on as thick as she could. They just needed to goad the Klingons into thinking all they wanted was information from home when they really wanted a lot more. For now, they would play the "silly human" with desires to know about Earth. For now.

"Well..." the Klingon pondered, looking back to his associate and eventually exchanging a light shrug with the man. If these two Starfleeters wanted to demand so little and offer so much, who were they to complain. The junior lieutenant's reasoning did sound plausible once she'd explained herself. Perhaps this was how Humans really were despite the prevailing stereotype of their affluent negotiation techniques. "It is your choice in the end. Your decision is unwise but it is not our place to protect you from your arrogance. We accept your terms."

Amaranai nodded. "Good," she said. "Mr. Snow, if you would deal the cards, please."

the petty officer picked up the deck, shuffled it, cut it, riffled the two sides together and repeated. Then he passed two cards out to each player. "Since we're not playing for chips, we might as well play Draw, yes?"

Seeing the blank looks, Snow carried on and put another three cards on the table in front of everyone. "Aces high, nothing complicated." He nodded to the Klingon on his left, "When you're ready."

Both Klingons looked at the stack of small paper rectangles on the table as well as the two cards that had been given to each of them, face down. "What do we do with these?"

Snow was ready for this too. He handed over a padd with a summary of winning hands. "You want to make the best hand. Everyone gets three chances to change up to 3 cards in their hand. The person with the best hand wins the round. If you can win, say, three rounds, We'll declare you the winners and you get what you're hoping for. If we win three rounds, then you give us what we want. Easy."

Both of the Klingons looked at each other with confused expressions before turning back to Snow and Franklin. "The...best hand...?" one of them asked, unfamiliar with how Earth cards worked or the symbols and numbers displayed on them.

Amaranai felt like shaking her head. It was as if the Klingons didn't want to be bothered with reading the PADD that had been handed them.

"Basically," she said. "You look at your cards. If you have something that matches the PADD in terms of winning sets, you might have a chance to win. How about we practice a couple of hands before we play for keeps?"

Amaranai put her cards down so the entire table could see them. She was showing a king and an ace. Of the three cards on the table, she paired a second king, but that was it.

"Okay," she said. "I have a pair of kings, but that's not going to win me my Earth news, so I'm going to want to give up the one card that doesn't help me and draw another."

She looked to Snow for a card. He put down another. The next card did not help either, so Amaranai was going to be in trouble if she didn't get help from another card. She looked for another card and this time got another king.

"And now I have a better chance at winning."

Amaranai pointed to the PADD. "As you can see, three of a kind is a higher scoring hand than some of the others, so my chance of winning has increased." She paused. "Does this make any sense?"

"No." Both Klingons shook their heads with disdain while glancing at the PADD they'd been given as well as the initial playout of the game. "This game is based on luck, not skill!" one of them protested. "Klingons do not play games of chance!"

"Au contraire," Snow pointed to the useless handful of pip cards that Amaranai had swapped out. "The skill comes from watching what you opponent does and knowing when to stop. Amaranai has drawn three cards and thrown back three. So without seeing, I know she's got a bad hand." He put his cards down on the table. He had three jacks, a king of hearts and nine of clubs. "It also means good cards are likely still in the deck, so I can risk getting rid of my nine in hopes of getting a King, to make a full house, rather than ending up with a low card. Get it?"

One of the Klingons did, but not in the way Snow and Franklin would have wanted. "So..." he stroked his goatee, pulling at the long hairs, "you watch what your opponent does, the cards they return, and recall which cards are still in the deck then count them in your head to determine if you will be successful?" Of course it would be becoming of a Federation man to count cards and disguise it as a game of 'skill'.

Snow gave him a look. "Afraid you won't win?"

"I always win!" retorted the Klingon, returning the look with one of his own that indicated he would quite possibly break the petty officer's face if he lost. "Continue!" he barked at Franklin and Snow, upset that his worthiness had been challenged.

"In that case..." Snow gathered in the demonstration cards and dealt fresh cards to Amaranai and himself. "Do you want to play the hand you have, or change some cards?"

Both Klingons stared at the hand they'd been dealt, then looked at the flop on the table. Then they looked back to their hand. Then to the table again. Hushed tones of Klingon dialogue ensued between the two until one of them finally looked up proudly. "We will play our hand!" Said hand was two jacks, of the same color but not the same suit. But that didn't matter to the warriors, who knew that the picture of two identical and imposing Earth combatants on their cards meant they had done well.

Amaranai shook her head and sighed.

"Well," she said. "Since we are still in the practice mode, I have to tell you that while you do have a pair of jacks, I currently can beat you with three of a kind."

"But you do not know what the other cards will be until you reveal them!" protested one of the warriors, pointing to the flop with his gloved finger and noting that only three cards had been laid out so far.

"Very true," Amaranai said. "But my knowledge that kings are higher than most cards, except for the ace, along with my skill at the game make me feel confident that I have a good chance to win the hand."

A smirk graced the Klingon's lips. He leaned back slightly and tilted his chin up with pride. "Then let us test your confidence," he goaded. "Proceed..."

"Very well," Amaranai said. "Again, since this is just practice, I will take no more cards and instead ready myself for the final phase of this hand." She paused. "Now is the time for the reveal and we find out who wins and who does not."

Snow took the last card from the top of the deck and laid it down. The eight of diamonds winked at them. "Alright, lets see them."

A Klingon fist pounded on the table which was full of anger. The man showed his cards, the two jacks, one of hearts and one of diamonds, but they didn't seem to give them victory in the match.

"Actually, a pair is a winning hand fifty percent of the time. Look. I've got rubbish." Snow laid down his cards. A motley assortment of suits and pips, the highest a ten of spades.

Exchanging glances between each other after hearing the Human's assessment of their odds, the two Klingons turned back to the petty officer with mistrust. "How did you calculate this percentage of victory?" they wanted to know. Had they simply lost the hand because Kahless had not chosen them to win it? Or was it all an elaborate deception...

"Humans have spent centuries studying this game. The maths behind it. The psychology, the body language the ability to bluff. All of it. The odds of getting any particular hand. How often any given hand wins. You can know all the odds." The operation officer gestured unhappily at his dreadful hand. "But if you get dross like that...well the best players can use other skills to win." he thought a second. "Its like...if you have a really good bat'leth, sharp and well balanced, an okay warrior can still fight well. But if the bat'leth is poor quality then only the best of warriors survive. Get it?"

The confusion once again escalated between the two Klingons, and this time one of them scoffed at such an analogy. It was impractical and illegitimate. Factually incorrect. "There are no 'poor-quality' bat'leths! Each one is created by a master of weapons on Qo'noS, and each must pass its final test before becoming battle-worthy."

"Bad choice of words," Snow held his hands up in a gesture of defense, "But you get the idea? Real players can conquor, even when their cards are terrible, but undermining the confidence of the other players."

The analogy hadn't been quite accurate but the two Klingons did indeed understand the concept of what was trying to be conveyed. "I suppose," muttered one of them before holding out an open hand in a gesture for the game to continue. "Proceed."

Snow gathered in the cards and shuffled before dealing a new hand to all the players. "Ready to play for keeps?"

"I said proceed!" the Klingon forcefully reiterated with a hefty pound of his fist on the table. Humans, he grumbled to himself, always interested in mind games.

They played the first hand, even without deliberately plaing badly, through sheer fluke the Klingons both had better hands than the Fleeters. On the second, Snow arranged an abject loss for himself and the smaller Klingon managed to bust a flush at the last moment, leaving him with nothing. The other produced two pairs, kings and queens, But Amarani had managed two pairs as well. A pair of threes and another pair of threes. Four of a kind, and a comfortable victory. One round each.

"You know," The ops officer said in a casual tone of voice, "I still can't shake the notion you boys get far more out of this equation right now if you win. Why don't we do something to fix that. Double or nothing, so to speak?"

The Earth speak didn't register with the two warriors who instead exchanged confused glances. Without understanding what was being proposed, they simply stared blankly at their Federation opponents.

"Well, if you win the next hand, not only do you get your time with my lieutenant but something else. Maybe we can persuade another one of the crew to join her. " His skin fairly crawled at the lewd suggestion, it was disgusting but that was what the players wanted and he had no intention of letting them win. "And if we win, we don't just get you to trawl the FNN for us, we do the trawling ourselves, free, unrestricted, unmonitored, access to the comms array. For half an hour." More than enough to light up every S.O.S and emergency frequency between here and Earthdock.

A small and toothy smile spread across one of the Klingon's faces. "So you will offer us another one of your women to please us when you are defeated?" he tried to clarify. It boggled his mind how their species had been able to survive to prominence and be a warp-faring civilization with such irrational deal-making.

Not until Hell becomes endothermic, you greasy ... calling you a shit would insult everything that's fallen out of my arse in the last five years... Snow grinned back. "Sure. It was a inside joke on Galileo just how much frigging went on in our rigging. So to speak. Take your pick. We can talk them round. "

"We want the helm officer," came the almost-immediate reply from the lead Klingon.

"Yes, the one with the pink hair! The Boslic," the second warrior clarified. "She is young and will serve us well. And if she was willing to please the general to his satisfaction, then she will no doubt prove herself very...useful," he deviously grinned. Apparently knowledge -- or in this case, rumors -- of what'd occurred between Miraj and Ko'raH had spread throughout the colony and its warships shortly afterwards.

"Done." Snow said crisply. Time to shut up and Deal. Two hole cards to every player and then the Flop. Eight of clubs. ace of Spades. Jack of Diamonds. He checked his hole cards. Four of diamonds. five of hearts. He gave a worried glance to Amaranai. This was not good.

This had been more challenging than Amaranai had expected. Despite her best efforts, the Klingons had been holding their own. Amaranai was making sure that no matter what, she was going to win this hand. She was not giving in to these wretched excuses for Klingons, nor was she going to allow Miraj to be submitted to a something that she already experienced.

Seeing the worried look from Snow, Amaranai slowly picked up her cards. She had been playing for so long that she wasn't sure if she had any tells or not, but she made every effort to avoid showing her excitement or disappointment with what she had been dealt. This hand, though, had a chance. An ace of hearts. Potential. Ten of spades. Potential for a straight if she tossed the guaranteed pair. She looked to Snow.

"You're move, Snow," she said.

The petty officer swallowed. This was not going to plan at all. "Alrighty then." He picked up the deck and contemplated his ability to deal off the bottom. He didn't fancy it, and took the next card off the top. Five of spades. That gave him a pair. A winning hand, fifty percent of the time. A one in two chance that two of his crew mates would be in serious trouble. He did not kike those odds. On the outside he looked as cool as his name when he raised a casual eyebrow to inquire with the lieutenant if this was any better.

Still calm, the card Amaranai saw was not going to help. At this point, she was going to have to stick with the pair of aces. Even if she only ended up with one pair, at least they were the highest, so she a little more of a sporting chance.

Amaranai looked to Snow with the slightest of head shakes hoping he understood the card was no help to her. All she could do now was hope the Klingons were not holding something extremely good.

The final card. Snow's hand was perfectly still as he turned the last card. Ace of clubs. It was in the lap of the gods now. He looked at the Klingons. "What have you got?"

Hushed whispers were quickly and quietly exchanged between the two of them, but not in Federation Standard. It seemed the two warriors had learned quickly from their initial training round of poker, and now with the stakes at hand, processed their chances of winning with the utmost resolve.

One of the Klingons looked up towards the two Starfleet crew members in order to study their features. Then he looked down at his cards; then back up towards them.

"You have to show us. Or we can just assume you lost?" Snow sounded a hell of a lot more cocky than he felt.

The Klingons revealed their cards. Two red jacks of the warrior kind that were present in their collective hand. Grinning and not quite sure of the outcome, they began to delight in their apparent victory.

When she saw the final card, Amaranai inwardly leaped for joy. Three of a kind - aces, at that - there was little chance she would be subjected to whatever the Klingons had in mind.

Snow's gut dropped like an engine-less shuttlecraft in atmosphere, and he turned his hole cards. The Klingons's pair of jacks beat his fives conclusively. Victory was looking like it belonged to the aliens.

Jacks were nothing. The fives were nothing. Amaranai laid her hand down to show the three aces. A grin began to spout in her face and she was certain the Klingons were unsure of why.

"We win," she said. "Three of a kind beats a pair."

She was happy. They won and they wouldn't have to deal with the Klingons much longer.

[OFF]

--

Klingon Warriors
Operations Officers
IKS DuJa'Q
[NPCs Saalm]

Lieutenant Amaranai Franklin
Assistant Security / Tactical Officer
IKS DuJa'Q

PO2 Crispin Snow
Operations Officer
IKS DuJa'Q
[PNPC Derani]

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