The way you made me feel...

Posted on 14 Oct 2016 @ 2:05am by Lieutenant JG Braxton MacKenzie & Lieutenant JG Rahl Tyton Ph.D.

2,508 words; about a 13 minute read

Mission: Episode 12 - Recluse
Location: USS Galileo - Deck 4, Science Office
Timeline: MD-01 1200hours

[ON]

Braxton watched Eelim lead Nemo away and Marika drift out of the room. He sat down hard trying to get a hold of the anger and disappointment he felt. "I can't believe you." It was all he could say without using harsh words... in several languages.

Rahl turned and looked at Braxton with a raised eyebrow. "Disbelieve all you want. However, I acted in full accordance with Starfleet protocol and regulations. There is much you know nothing of about me. Understand this, I will not tolerate disrespect from anyone to anyone. I would have done the same thing had he acted in that way towards you."

Braxton shook his head. "This is not the way Rahl." He wouldn't use last names here. "Your right there is protocol but...." He sighed.

"Rahl sit down. I'm going to talk to you now and I want you to listen, really listen without interrupting. Okay?"

Rahl raised an eyebrow as he looked at Braxton. He wasn't going to back down from his position. However, he would not be so rude as to not listen. That went against everything he was. He walked over to the table and poured two glasses of the whiskey he had brought. Walking over he sat one next to Braxton before taking a seat himself and taking a drink. He motioned that Braxton should continue.

Braxton sighed. Where to start. He didn't like confrontation. It was part of the reason he'd stayed an Ensign and not been department head for so long...well that and he felt old. Alright. He'd say what was on his mind and that would be that.

"First off, I don't agree with what you did.” He stared forward as he spoke. “As a department head I don’t believe in threatening or sending officers to the brig. Words are just words, It’s our job as DHs to show these officers that disrespect will not be tolerated in a compassionate way. Now if I missed a gesture or the way Nemo said something then it’s on me but you should have come to me privately rather than humiliate him, and me, in front of the entire department.” It was that point that stuck in his craw. He was used to humiliation in public. His father did that when he was on ship with him daily at a rate of several times a day.

Braxton went on, “When you do that you create bad feelings between you and the junior officer. I would always stand up for any senior officer but if one of the medical staff was disrespecting me I would let him know that he was and then with words and I would just tell him that there would be consequences. I would then go to the CMO and relay the incident to allow the CMO to deal with her staff.”

Rahl shook his head. "The bad feelings as you say are obviously already there. If the junior officer sees fit to treat any superior officer in that way without cause. Even with cause one does not do that to a senior officer." He took another drink. "As for your words about going to their direct commanding officer. In most cases you are correct. However, not in this one. When regulations are broken to the extent that a security officer must be called to place the person under arrest. It has gone beyond the point of there direct commanding officer simply 'dealing' with it as you say."

He held up a hand to stop the protest he felt, “If I did the disciplining I would overstep and challenge that DHs authority over his or her department which is what you did. Not only did you bring alcohol to an on duty staff meeting, which is disrespectful in itself, but you humiliated my staff member and when I tried to control the situation which could have done with a lecture about respect to the whole staff as an example. You humiliated me, you showed my staff that you are more important and have more authority over them then their department head thus setting the stage to allow them to disrespect my authority. You made it seem like you had no respect for me and my ability to discipline my staff and run my department. When I took you aside and tried to salvage the meeting in private you took it to the public level again, in effect, saying to them I don’t give a crap about your department meeting I’m going to send this young man to the brig for mouthing off to me and your department head can’t say anything because I have more authority then he does and I don’t respect him enough to give him the option of disciplining you. You humiliated Nemo, you humiliated me and made me seem like a fool. I would never do that to you.”

Rahl raised an eyebrow. "I in no way humiliated you. I never once put you down in front of your staff. Did I stick to my guns about what I said? Yes, I did. I would have been more than happy to discuss it with you outside. However, he decided to keep pushing things and that is where I drew the line. The officers here are not here to be coddled and hand-held. They know the rules and regulations just as well as anyone else. He chose to make it a public spectacle by doing what he did. I answered in the same forum he chose to start in. What I did was to show them that disrespect period was not going to be tolerated. I also showed them that if they thought they were going to be sly and underhanded about it that there would be the same consequences either way. If this is how you wish to allow your officers to act then I want nothing to do with it. You can exclude me and my officers from any further 'meetings' you wish to detail. However, understand this. If they choose to go out of their way like he did for seemingly no reason other than general spitefulness. I can and I will ensure that they rue the day they ever crossed my path or that of any officer I catch them disrespecting."

Braxton sighed. "You just don't care do you? There are better ways to handle things and you should no have thrown Nemo in the brig. You overstepped there. What is that going to do to poor Nemo?" Braxton sighed. "You really don't seem to care." He said more to himself then Rahl. He stood up. "Rahl...I just...Your speech about not humiliating me is next. You did humiliate me. You overstepped and I felt, as a department head, humiliated and disrespected. Not only that you brought liquor to a staff meeting which in itself is not regulation and I guess I should have had you thrown out and put in the brig but I don't do things that way."

Braxton stood and looked at Rahl, "So, now I tell you how I feel and instead of responding you try to tell me that you didn't make me feel the way I said you did. You act as if my thoughts, my feelings are irrelevant. You just said you 'ensure they rue the day' which makes me think that it's always your way." He thought for a moment and walked towards the door.

Braxton turned and looked at Rahl in the eye. He held his gaze across the room. "You know what your actions remind me of? A saying that defines one of the races that the Federation has come across." He paused before going on, "Resistance is futile." He shrugged. "All must assimilate to your way or they are just trash. What a way to think."

Rahl just looked at Braxton for a moment. His blood surged in an uncontrolled rage. Slamming the glass down he stood up kicking the chair behind him. "You have no idea the words you have just said." He got right in Braxton's face. "Do you have any idea of my history or where I come from? Do you even know who my people are? Obviously not or you would not have chosen those piss poor words that are about to land you in the med bay for an extended period. I'm an El-Aurian...the Borg destroyed my homeworld Lieutenant. I watched my people try to scrounge for a living afterwards. I lived as a refugee for most of my life growing up. Everything I have and done I have worked for every step of the way. I was also at the battle of Wolf 359. I have seen more then once what they do and how they are first hand and I hate them all. Do not dare to stand there and try to compare me to them. I'll be damned before you ever utter anything like that again!"

By this time Rahl was bellowing in Braxton's face. He was beyond rage at that point. The only thing holding him back from hauling off and knocking the man through a wall was the steel grip he kept himself in. However that control was slipping the more angry he got.

Braxton sighed, he stood is ground with Rahl. "That's my point Rahl. You have been through a lot, all El Aurians have. All who have tangled with the damned Borg and learned how important it is to stand up to something that is wrong but through it all there have been people who have not let their mercy and compassion be ripped from them by stamping out all resistance or scaring it out of people. Why are you like that then?" He was angry now too.

Be paced back an forth. "In your life you've been through so much and I know what it's like to live through hell, I've had 40 years of it, not as sever as tangling with the Borg, but I've had a life time of defeat and humiliation and tyrants imposing their will. Enough! We've both been dealt harsh cards but we don't have to take on the more charming aspects of the dealers. I've fought all my life against bitterness and falling into my fathers shadow. Now it's your turn. Fight against the bitterness and falling into the Borg's shadow. Adapt damn it! Not everyone will wound you. You talk about trusting the people that work with you with your life then let people in. Don't let the stupid actions of others cause you to be without mercy! Gods of Betazed you're so much damned better then that!" He was angry now too partially because he was part Betazoid and not only could he sense people's emotions but he was an empathy in the sense that his system could pick up others' emotions. That's why he preferred the smaller ships.

Braxton continued, "When someone resists you, when they stand against you taking the aggressive approach of no mercy, is not always the right way. You build a wall around yourself and make it hard for people to care or want to be around you! STOP THAT!"

Rahl raised an eyebrow. "Why you ask? Let me ask you this Braxton. Have you ever been on the battlefield? Have you been in a situation where one wrong move. One wrong thought would cost not only your life, but the life of every other person around you? I have.

Wolf 359, the first and second battle of Deep Space Nine, the Dominion war. I was there for all of it. I have fought Borg, Klingons, Jem'hadar, Cardassians and more. I am a scientist that was thrust into the chaos of war and forged in the fires of combat. There are things that cannot be unseen. Things that cannot be erased from memory no matter how hard you try to forget. When you wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because you can't forget the things you've done that you aren't proud of. But they had to be done in order to ensure the continuation and survival of your people and your home."

He rolled his shoulders. "Also as stated I am El-Aurian. I'm only one hundred and fifty-seven years old. I will live for another three hundred and fifty years at the least barring death by other means than age. That means that everyone that I know at this point in time will be long dead and buried...even Vulcans. I am an island outside of time. I will see generations of you be born, grow old, and die. Yet I will remain. I will remember things that your people will have forgotten and not even realized it. For that alone among other things I stand apart. I am alone Lieutenant. No one else outside of my race could understand such a feeling."

Braxton's heart broke for the man. He sighed. His voice instantly calmed. "It's hard. Hard to get attached to people, hard to watch friends, lovers, those whom you consider family get older and die and feel like there is nothing that you can do to help."

He walked over to Rahl and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Rahl...I am sorry that you are forced to do this but you can't put up a wall. Life is full of pain enough. Let yourself love others and be loved. Make friends and treasure the relationships when you have them and then when they are gone let the memories warm you. Do not live in this pit of loneliness. Do not give in to bitterness and hostility so that you can push people away."

Rahl shook his head though he didn't remove Braxton's hand. "Perhaps and then perhaps not. Throughout history there have always been those that have stood outside. Shamans, sorcerers, soothsayers, wisemen. To those that were entrusted with the history and laws of there people. So that no matter what their traditions and ways would survive even in the worst of times. Perhaps that is what my race was meant to do. I don't know."

He shrugged. "I cannot tell you that I won't still keep people out. However I will say that I will try to allow a couple in. At least one."

Braxton smiled. "That is good." He gave Rahl's shoulder a squeeze. "Life is difficult as it is...we shouldn't have to face it alone. Friends, those we love should always be there to help us fight the loneliness."

Rahl shook his head. "I cannot say that it will be successful. Only that I will try. That is all I can do. Though if you will excuse me I still have paperwork left to do in my office."

He turned and headed out of the room.

[OFF]

Lt JG Rahl Tyton
Chief Research Officer
USS Galileo

&

Lt. JG Braxton MacKenzie
Chief Science Officer
USS Galileo

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