Face to Face
Posted on 23 Jul 2016 @ 12:01am by Petty Officer 3rd Class Veri RN & Jynn
Edited on on 28 Jul 2016 @ 4:38pm
1,618 words; about a 8 minute read
Mission:
Episode 11 - Divinum Mundi
Location: USS Galileo - Veri/Anderson Quarters
Timeline: MD 10 - 1930 Hours
[ON]
Liquid courage; Fire water; The Vulcans called it brainwash because, even though it took a lot to affect them, they still understood what it could do to a mind, especially one built of logic; Water of life; Or as the Deltans sometimes called it: water of love. Alcohol went by many names in many cultures, those listed just a few of perhaps millions, but it was the first one that pertained to Jynn, that poor barely-Deltan, for he was about to interact with something he wasn't sure he'd ever want to see again. Another Deltan. Even the administering of self-prescribed liquid mettle was barely enough for what he was about to do: talk to one of his own.
He stood in front of the door to Veri's quarters. Well, he was pretty sure it was her quarters. It had to be. He had double and triple checked and even asked the computer. It was, in fact, Veri's quarters. He almost seemed disappointed in reality itself for a moment. He had found himself exactly where he needed to be and now all he wanted to do was run. But he didn't run. Instead he activated the chime to signal a visitor.
As soon as the door opened, and small pale hand began battering Jynn. Not so hard as to damage him, though when the hand's owner spoke, every word was punctuated with a smack on Jynn's shoulder. Often enough to draw red welts.
"You-are-the-most-stupid-Deltan!" Veri was angry. Disappointed. She wanted to murder him, if not for the fact he was of her people. So she kept batting at him with true frustration. "Now-people-will-think-I'm-as-bad-as-you-and-that-stupid-stupid-stupid-human-girl!"
The battering stopped abruptly and just as manically, Veri hugged him. Cried into his chest, for she almost thought Jynn's exile would be a permanent one.
Jynn was in shock. He hadn't felt an onslaught of emotion like that in a long time, and having it directed right at him with what felt like the force of a whole populace was almost too much to bear. He held the whole of Delta IV in his arms. Holding on tight he sighed, trembling in a heightened emotion that had otherwise been dulled over the last few months. “I'm so sorry.”
"My co-family say you are deemed Jynn Oathbreaker," Veri spoke quietly, and sadly. "They say you are bad for me... But that is untrue."
Shame washed over the oathbreaker once more, squeezing his eyes shut tight. He knew word would have spread fast and he knew what his people would think of him, but to hear it actually vocalized, even from a second hand source, was like the twisting of the proverbial knife. This was going about as well as could be expected, but there was no turning back now. “What makes you think they're wrong?” he asked incredulously.
"Because..." Veri paused, as if she heard something from afar. She looked left, then right, then grabbed Jynn's arm and pulled him into her quarters.
Only when the door closed behind them, did she answer, "Because we unified... I know your soul... and it is a bit upsetting that you never once confided in me when you were struggling."
Jynn walked over to the nearest object of sitting height and landed upon it with a defeated flop. “I was afraid. And it all happened so fast. I lost my grasp on everything and by the time I got a hold of myself again it was too late. After that... Well, after that I was more afraid than anything.”
"It's a mess... and I know because I make many messes," Veri animatedly conceded. "She doesn't understand our ways... Doesn't know we love many. Nor does she grasp that many become One."
“And we don't understand their ways. Normally differences are a good learning experience, but so far the ones I've run into have proven disastrous.” The assessment was quite literal. Jynn had almost lost everything he had and it had seemed that the only way for him to keep what he had was to instead lose everything he was. “Though with the changes I face maybe I can learn more from this rather than just being sent home to rot. Maybe this can be part of my penance. What do you think?”
"I think what you found for distractions, failed." Veri had not meant to be blunt as she plopped atop her bed. "If we find something better and stronger, then yes. I think you have a valid assessment."
"Well, distractions or not I've certainly learned a lot already. I'm dangerous, though fortunately not anymore. Now it seems I'm just a danger to myself. Do you even think distractions would be enough? Maybe there needs to be more. I mean, look what distracting has done to me so far. Maybe I need to stop looking away and find another way." He sounded defeated, a battle waging in his mind that he wasn't sure he'd win. The questions where attacking and there wasn't an answer in sight.
"Meditation and distraction are the techniques we learned - you better than me," Veri pointed out matter-of-factually.
“Until it all came crashing down... Either the techniques are flawed or I am flawed, but the latter makes more sense, don't you think?” This was getting him nowhere. He already knew he had failed his people and now all he was doing was reminding himself of that fact. Sitting in front of another Deltan all he could feel was everything that made him Deltan slipping away. “Maybe I should just go back,. That's what they wanted.” He sighed as he rested his head in his hands. Defeated. Depressed. Distraught. He could barely tell which if any he was feeling right now.
You belong here, came the quiet voice that might of taken Jynn a few moments to realize Veri had reached out telepathically to him. With much empathy and love. You have me to help you now.
I should have come to you sooner, he thought to himself. Unable to use his telepathy for the moment all he could do was hope Veri would pick up on his thoughts, thoughts that he hoped were not too painful for her. It was a sad sight indeed to see a Deltan relying on reading rather than projecting. Do you think you'll be enough, he questioned in a way that seemed more indicative of his own self control rather than the abilities of his new mentor.
We need to help you make more friends. LOTS of friends, Veri started to send very excitedly to her partner. I am Home. But you are here to be away from Home, just as I am. So you need non-Home to expand your home here as well. Otherwise, Home will never be enough. Which is what I assume is how you came into Tuula's bed - cause she isn't Home.
It almost sounded too easy being asked to make friends. He was a natural at it, but for the most part Jynn was now feeling that particular trait of his to be detrimental. He was mingling with potential problems, and with his unpredictability everyone could have been a potential problem. But maybe Veri was right. After all, Home was now a frightening prospect to him. Better to distance himself from there as best he could (aside from maybe the one reminder that now sat with him). “Do you think that will help? You don't think that will make things worse?”
"Well... You have me as a friend. So yes. And you have Tuula as a friend, though she might need to be told she can only have you as that," Veri asked with insecurity. "Did you two part well before you went to the rehab center?"
“I haven't spoken with her since before my trial,” Jynn answered meekly. “I just figured it for the best. For both of us. There were a few close encounters but other than that I've kept to myself.”
"Allyndra was talking theoretical things, such as hormonal suppressants," Veri went on to explain. " - To help with your problem. Though I think a neural inhibitor worn during Unification with a non-Deltan should be sufficient... Assuming she still means a lot to you."
While Veri did not understand his specific attraction to Tuula, she understood much about Love in general. He cared for Tuula as Veri cared for any Deltan. Thus it was only right she try and suggest such a crazy idea.
All the options given and the ones so far taken just made Jynn feel less Deltan. And what was he if he wasn't Deltan? If he wasn't what he was born? Probably nothing or maybe worse. The feelings of hopelessness seemed to rise within him once more. It seemed like the only direction at this point was down. That or forever forward into the abyss.
“Perhaps a hiatus from interaction with others is for the best, Veri. Maybe I need to figure out more about myself and what I am capable of before I go around throwing caution to the wind and letting my spirit run free once more. It all just seems to be going nowhere. Maybe I need to stay still for a bit before I continue down any path.”
"Avoiding the problem will not fix it either," Veri cautioned. "But I understand. Truly."
They hugged for about an hour, if only so Jynn could gather himself and enjoy being around one of his kind again.
[OFF]
PO3 Veri
Surgical Nurse
USS Galileo
Jynn
Shuttlecraft Pilot
USS Galileo
RSS Feed
Back to Top