Leaving Your Mark: Part II

Posted on 13 Oct 2015 @ 3:38pm by Jynn & Lieutenant Oren Idris Ph.D.

1,635 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Episode 09 - Empires
Location: USS Galileo; Deck 4; Jynn's Quarters
Timeline: MD03 - 2100 Hours

ON:

Jynn stared down at the freshly inked Galileo that had now become a part of his cosmological body. It looked great and it also fit his situation perfectly. The ship that he found himself making his mark on had just made it's mark on him. Unfortunately, the ones Jynn was making seemed to be far more damaging than a bit of ink on skin. The thoughts had been scratching away at him and though he was usually able to push it aside with ease the growing tension had required addressing.

“I have a secret,” he spoke in a tone completely unlike himself. Quiet. Defeated.

Blinking, Oren's hand paused as he wiped at the blood and ink seeping from Jynn's tattoo. Only a few more minutes and he would be done. It felt like Jynn had been waiting. So Oren waited as well now, saying nothing but making a small noise to make sure Jynn knew he was listening.

“I've broken... an oath.” Jynn danced around the subject even as he brought it to light, but to the young anthropologist he had now begun to open up to it would be plainly obvious just which oath he was talking about.

Eyes widening slightly, Oren stopped what he was doing. "Your oath?" he asked needlessly, swallowing. It was a big confession and, once again, Oren cursed whatever energy his people emanated, making other's so open towards them. "Who with?"

“The tattooed doctor,” Jynn replied using the title Oren had used for Tuula just the day before. His mouth began moving ahead of him, caught in thought. “It was so very different. Quite enjoyable. I don't actually regret it one bit, but there in lies one of the problems I suppose. Lack of regret. Not to mention the act itself. But I now fear it will all sort itself out on it's own. The captain will find out and I will be done for.” He began to run his left index finger along his body, tracing along his tattoos to various points that to an outside observer had no significant meaning. “This was all nice while it lasted,” he spoke with a heavy-hearted sigh, his finger ending at the tattoo of Galileo Oren was currently cleaning.

"You have to tell him...Captain Holliday," Oren suddenly told him, meeting the Deltan's eye. "All truths surface eventually and things will only be worse if the Captain finds out through someone else, or an official report from another member of the staff," he explained. There wasn't any doubt that what Jynn did was wrong, on many levels; he'd broken one of the most sacred oaths his people have.

"You made an enormous mistake, Jynn," Oren continued, looking oddly serious as his firm gaze, fixed on the Deltan, betrayed his age. "The fact that you feel no guilt says more about your character than the act itself. You could have killed Tuula, or seriously hurt her. Maybe you did and you don't know it yet. To sit here, pretending that nothing is wrong waiting for it all to work itself out is irresponsible and you should know better. You're facing exile, Jynn..." Oren half-pleaded, hoping to break through to whatever common sense the Deltan had in him, to make his see just how terribly he had acted. "From Starfleet and Delta."

Jynn had always told himself to never regret anything he had done. To just experience it all as it came. But that was the problem. How could he not feel regret even when facing expulsion? An amazing experience, but at a terrible price. Was it really worth paying? Did he even stop to think about what was going to happen? Was this regret?

“You're right,” Jynn said in a quiet, remorseful voice. Oren was certainly right on all counts and Jynn wasn't sure which part made him hate himself the most. Breaking laws? Endangering others? Pretending like nothing at all had happened? He had to fix this.

He couldn't say any more, words overflowing in his mind but not coming out. They all just seemed to make things worse. He hesitated as he grabbed at the first collection of words that seemed to make the most sense. “I'm going to tell the captain,” Jynn spoke as he gently pushed Oren aside, standing up and then slowly walking towards the door. “Now.” The last word felt like a knife. It was only after that statement of finality as he reached the door that it began to sink in. As the thoughts and words continued to build within him he became too afraid to grab at any more of them. He froze at the door and stared out into the hall. A few seconds later and the door closed. Jynn was still in the room.

Oren swallowed, watching Jynn. It was difficult to feel so many emotions seeping off of him but he withstood them. After all, anything he felt at that moment was dwarfed by the onslaught of feelings and thoughts that no doubt flooded Jynn. He knew that hurting others was difficult for Deltans to live with and he sympathized with him. Standing up, Oren walked towards him. "You don't have to go right this second, but tonight would probably be best. Do you want me to go with you?" he offered.

With his pause of motion the sense of urgency began to stretch itself. Now became minutes and minutes became hours. Before it could get any further he stopped it in its tracks. There's no getting away from this. “Tomorrow? After Alpha? I just need a little more time.” He was putting it off, but he needed just a little more time. A few moments of escape before escape became impossible. “I will go on my own,” he spoke with obvious reluctance. “No one need answer for my actions but myself.”

Oren nodded, but watched Jynn skeptically. Somehow he doubted the man would follow through on his intentions. "I don't think I'll answer for anything," he said softly.

"Do you promise to go see the Captain tomorrow? What you did was very serious, Jynn, it won't be easy to own up to it." Oren gave his advice gently, not wanting to sound doubtful or like he was accusing the Deltan of anything more than what he was guilty of.

“I give you my word.” At the moment it probably didn't mean much at all, but he was serious. Somewhere within the cauldron of emotions that was Jynn's mind was a sense that he had done wrong. He did not regret the act itself, but what repercussions that would come about because of the act conjured feelings beyond mere regret. “The medical staff including Veri know and it would be in their right to file a report. You know, and you know that breaking the oath is tantamount to treason with my people. Tuula... Well, Tuula.” He paused, listening to his words as though they where spoken not only to Oren but to himself.

Fear. Regret. Sorrow. Don't hide yourself from their cold depths, Jynn. Dive in. And so he did. With a whimper tears began to flow from his eyes, crying as he slowly stepped to the side of the door. He turned his head to look to Oren with glistening eyes, opening the door with a gesture as he did so. “There is no choice. Either report it or wait for it to be reported. Nothing else. Thank you for giving me the nudge I needed.” To call it a nudge was an obvious understatement, but the genuineness of his thanks was just as obvious. He meant it. “You can leave now, Oren. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the markings you have left me, but I would hate to sully the reputation of us Deltans being a perpetually happy people,” he said with a small chuckle through his tears.

Oren could feel the hurt coming off Jynn in waves and didn't have the heart to simply abandon him. Instead, he walked up to him and took his hand gently, hoping it would show that he wasn't afraid of him, despite knowing he'd broken his oath. That at least one person wasn't rejecting him. "Do you really want me to leave? I can stay."

Jynn was riding the downward spiral, going to depths he himself had never gone to or ever thought he would. Did he really want someone to witness him in a state even he didn't know how he would react to? Perhaps in his many years alive the septuagenarian had already seen or experienced what Jynn was about to go through. As the tears began to escape the confines of his eyes he nodded in acceptance of Oren's offer. He spoke no words as he made his way back over to the couch and sat himself down.

Oren followed him to the couch immediately, taking up the place next to him. He sat there for a moment, scooting closer and finally putting his arm around his shoulder.

What else could he do? There was nothing else he could possibly say that would make the situation any better or any worse. It simply was. An unalterable state of defeat. With a slow and sullen turn of his head Jynn placed his face against Oren's shoulder, weeping as he did so. It was the beginning of the end for him. At this point all he could do was mourn the loss of his own life. He had just gotten the news. Now all he could envision was the inevitable wake and funeral to follow.

OFF:

Lieutenant JG Oren Idris
Chief Research Officer
USS Galileo

Lieutenant JG Jynn
Chief Flight Control Officer
USS Galileo

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