Down with the Sickness

Posted on 28 Jan 2013 @ 5:27am by Petty Officer 1st Class Gabriel Stark & Verity Thorne
Edited on on 04 Feb 2013 @ 4:18am

3,070 words; about a 15 minute read

Mission: Episode 03 - Frontier
Location: USS Galileo: Deck 2 - The Mess
Timeline: MD -01: 23:00

ON:

Gabriel glared down into his glass, his fingers wrapped tight around it, until they turned white, as if it was the poor glass that had done something wrong. He knocked the rest of the drink back, sighing before banging it down onto the table. It wasn't even real alcohol. Just stupid synthahol.

He'd managed to slip away from that so called departmental security meeting before the CWO could catch up with him. He saw him trying to catch him but managed to give him the slip. He didn't want to talk to him, not yet. He knew Kiwosk would catch up with him sooner or later though.

He sighed at the thought, rubbing his face with his hand. Hopefully 'later' would mean he didn't say something that got him into even more trouble. Kiwosk was good at his job, he'd find him at some point and give him a good dressing down, but he was still so angry over what he'd heard at the meeting from the security chief that, frankly, he didn't trust himself not to do something stupid in front of the CWO. Well, even more stupid than walking out of a departmental meeting in disgust without permission.

It had been the only thing left to do though. It was that or blow his top, and then he'd have been in even more trouble. The lesser of the two evils, as they said. So, for now, he'd brood in the mess, with a lack of a real bar to go and drown his sorrows in.

Gabriel groaned, frowning deeply as he looked around. More drink, that was the only thing for it. Synthahol was better than nothing, and he refused to waste his stock of the real stuff on a bad mood.

"What's wrong with you?" the voice behind him was familiar.

Gabriel glanced up in time to see the Chaplain reaching out to touch his shoulder. "Don't touch me," he snapped at the man, pushing at his hand to stop it from touching him. "Don't touch me, don't talk to me, don't even look at me."

Verity arched an eyebrow before giving a small smile at the words, moving to take a seat at the table all the same, shaking his head as he watched him. "That bad, huh?"

"I'm not in the mood for company," Gabriel muttered, lifting his glass for a drink and then realising he'd already finished it. He swore loudly, an angry shout before slamming the glass down, his cheeks flushed.

"Easy," Verity said quietly, leaning to him, frowning as he laid his hand on the table, close to his hand, but not actually touching it. "What happened?" he asked knowingly. He'd spent some time with the young security officer. He had issues, that was obvious enough. The lad's temper was always so close to the surface, and more went so much deeper than that. But he sort of liked him. When he was calm, he was nice, intelligent, playful, flirty and warm.

"The new Security Chief, that's what happened," Gabriel murmured, shaking his head before watching Verity with dark, shining eyes, still full of anger. "You should have heard him in the meeting. Dictator Stone."

"Occupational hazard, dealing with authority in Starfleet," Verity chuckled, shaking his head.

"No. No, V, this went way beyond that. He was completely out of order. Slagging us off as if we were crap at our job, because it's not like we managed to protect this little ship against wave after wave of klingons or anything, is it," his voice dripped with sarcasm. "And then there was the totally out of order, unfair bollocks that he tried to pass as orders. Rude and disrespectful. He managed to piss Aria off! Aria! Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep Aria! She swore at him! In a meeting!" Gabriel said, still in a state of disbelief from it all, breathing hard as talking about it just wound him up even more.

Verity's eyebrows lifted with surprise at that. "Little Aria? Wow, there's a talent."

"That's one way of putting it," Gabriel shook his head with a frown, folding his arms tightly, his leg jigging up and down with agitation, his whole body still humming with anger and frustration. "I walked out before the end. I couldn't stay there. I just couldn't. I'd have done something stupid."

Verity watched him for a long moment, just taking him in. His anger was rolling off him, it was so easy to see and feel. He seemed too young to feel anger and pain so deeply. It saddened him, because he knew it meant that it stemmed from a deeper scar. "Come on," he got up, motioning to him to follow.

"What?" Gabriel frowned as he watched him, shaking his head. "No. I'm fine here."

"Come on," Verity pressed with a small smile, motioning with his hand, his blue eyes shining. "Come with me."

Gabriel sighed, rolling his eyes before pushing himself up, shoving his chair hard under the table with a forceful hand. "Fine."

Verity led him out, walking swiftly down the corridor. He only stopped when they reached the holodeck, taking a moment or two to tap the panel. "Come on in."

Gabriel glanced to him with curiosity, but there was still a severe frown scoring his features and his body was tight and tense as he moved, his arms folded harshly across his chest. He followed Verity in, looking around with surprise, his arms falling to his sides.

They were standing in the middle of a Catholic church. It was beautiful, the stained glass windows original to its design and build; medieval English. "Why would you bring me somewhere like this?"

"Just a hunch," Verity shrugged, walking down the main aisle of the church, towards the altar, clearly comfortable in it, his fingers touching one of the stone pillars on the way. "I've seen you hovering around my office at times. I've tried to make it as chapel like as possible, but, well, there are limitations of course. And I don't think it's me you're coming to see. I think you like the atmosphere. Then there's the necklace," he motioned to it, around Gabriel's neck. "A gold cross. You always wear it. Never seen you without it. You're even named after an archangel for goodness sake."

Gabriel looked around the old church, swallowing hard. "Don't try and pull me in, Priest."

"Not a priest anymore, Gabriel," Verity shrugged lightly as he moved to sit down on the stone steps that led up to the altar. "This was my church though. Well, back in England, when I was a Priest."

"Oh come off it, once a priest, always a priest," Gabriel sighed, shaking his head as he watched him with sharp eyes.

"That's like saying 'once a Catholic, always a Catholic', isn't it, Gabriel?" Verity said pointedly as he tilted his head, but with an almost playful smile as he watched him.

Gabriel sighed impatiently, folding his arms tightly across his chest. "I'm not in the mood for word games."

"I know," Verity tapped the stone step he sat on, indicating he should join him.

Gabriel hesitated for a long moment before sighing, finally moving to sit with him. He glanced across to him. "Don't think you can sweet talk me."

"Wouldn't dare," Verity laughed softly. "I know better." He spent a few moments just looking around the familiar church, taking in everything he had come to know so well years ago. "You know, when you let anger take over, it usually only ends up getting you into trouble, rather than the thing or person that's caused it."

"I know," Gabriel sighed, pulling his legs close, leaning to rest his chin on his knees. "I know that."

"But you let it anyway."

"I don't 'let' it," Gabriel said sharply, turning his head to watch him with a frown. "It just happens."

"Well then you need to learn how to make it not 'just happen'," Verity shook his head as he watched him. "It's not a natural phenomenon. It's your mind. You control it."

"I know!" Gabriel virtually shouted, lifting his hands with exasperation. "I know that! It's not like I bloody enjoy it."

"No, on the contrary, I think you hate it," Verity said quietly, watching him with empathy and something close to pain for the younger man's predicament.

Gabriel looked to him, searching his eyes, his own eyes shining for a moment before he licked his lips uneasily. "I do try you know," he said quietly. "I know it probably seemed like I stormed out of that meeting to others, but, well, that was me trying. Trying not to shout or hit."

Verity nodded, watching his face. "You're tired of your anger, I recognise it in you," he said quietly. "Usually means you've been fighting it for a long time. Yet, you're only young," he said softly, with regret as he reached to rub his arm. "Gabriel, why are you so angry? Whatever it was must have happened a long time ago. You must have been carrying it for a long time. Too long. How has life made you so angry?"

Gabriel watched him, studying his face for several moments before just sighing, shaking his head and looking away in silence.

Verity glanced down, holding his own sigh back. He shifted to be closer to him, just nodding as he wrapped his arm around his shoulders. "That's alright too," he said quietly with a small smile. "No rush."

Gabriel kept his face turned away from him, his breath stuck in his throat before he finally relaxed a little at the arm around him. He shifted, half turning so he could lean against Verity in the hold, resting his head on his shoulder.

Verity blinked with mild surprise before gave a small smile, nodding as he stroked his shoulder and arm, letting him rest against him as he looked around the calming church. "I always used to go to church when I felt guilty or wrong or bad. Even when I was younger, before I was a priest," he chatted lightly, casually. "I didn't know why, not for a while. My feet always just seemed to lead me there when things felt rubbish."

"Do you miss being a priest?" Gabriel asked quietly, resting easily against him, his gaze fixed ahead, on the intricate stained glass above the large, arched doors of the church.

"Sometimes," Verity replied honestly, but with a small smile. "Even now, when I feel wrong, I come back here. Just has to be a holodeck now though. You can too if you want. I'll give you the name of the programme, you can use it whenever you like."

"Thanks," Gabriel said quietly, and meaning it, not using the sarcastic tone he often did when he was in a bad mood. It was genuine. "Used to go to the family chapel when I 'felt wrong', when I was younger. Miss that out here in space. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm religious or anything," he added quickly, as if to ensure he wasn't going to be caught out or tricked into admitting anything.

"Doesn't matter if you are or you aren't," Verity replied just as quickly, to reassure him. "What does that even mean anyway. Religious. If a place makes you feel better, if it feels right, for whatever reason, that has to be a good thing, right?"

"Yeah," Gabriel settled again at that, letting out a soft breath. "I used to get in trouble back then with my temper too."

"I thought so," Verity admitted. "You seem exhausted enough with your frustration for it to have been like that for a long time."

Gabriel chuckled weakly despite himself, shaking his head with a small smile. "Don't miss much, do you."

"Had a lot of experience with people," Verity gave a smile of amusement. "Confessions, advice, shoulder to cry on, ear to listen, all that. Then I went outside the church, started working out in the real world to try and help where I could. Tried to offer real, practical help to the people who wouldn't come into the church. Out on the streets. People who were forgotten about by society. People who were hurt. And angry with the world for the hurt," he tilted his head so he could watch him, touching his hair. "It's a look that's easy enough to recognise. Even out here, Gabriel."

Gabriel frowned slightly at that, letting out an unsteady breath. "I'm not like your hard up street people."

"I know," he smiled, shaking his head gently. "I know. You don't have to be like them to feel some of the same things they do though. I'm just saying that I know what it looks like."

Gabriel hesitated, unsure for a long moment, a frown etching in his features. "Do you ever get angry? So angry that it burns and your heart could rip apart with it?"

"Maybe," he said softly. "Or at least, I did. Not as often anymore though."

Gabriel watched him with interest at that. "How did you get rid of it?" he asked eagerly.

Verity shook his head, watching him with a regretful smile. "I came to terms with the thing that was causing it. The real thing, I mean. Not the daily things that triggered it, but the thing from before, that had caused anger to bubble so easily inside of me, ready to spill at the smallest trigger."

Gabriel watched his eyes and his face, taking in the dark hair and pale skin, the blue eyes of the man who had been a priest and then turned his back on it. "I guess you don't give up the priesthood without a good reason," he said quietly, knowingly, nodding.

Verity nodded softly, watching him with a small smile. "I guess you don't try and ignore your own family name without a good reason."

Gabriel held his eyes before finally giving a small smile. He shook his head, laughing quietly. "You should be a counselor, you know too much, like they always do."

"Heaven forbid," Verity laughed, shaking his head firmly.

Gabriel gave a smile at that, resting his elbow on his thigh and his chin in his hand, sighing. "I escaped Kiwosk this time. But it won't be for long. He'll hunt me down and give me a tongue lashing. And not in a good way," he winked to Verity.

Verity couldn't help but laugh at that, shaking his head. "Yes, there is something all tall, dark, strong and brooding about him, isn't there," he grinned to him before reaching out, squeezing Gabriel's hand. "You've got to learn to channel the anger the right way. You keep letting your temper fly in the face of authority and the only one it's going to bury is you."

"I know, I know. I really do, Verity," Gabriel shook his head with a tired sigh. "I just lost it. And yes, before you say it, I know, I just lose it a lot. I'm better than I was though, believe it or not. A lot better."

"Good," Verity smiled warmly at that, nodding to him. "I mean, if Aria ended up swearing at a senior officer in a staff meeting, well, something must have been going wrong. I believe you there. But when you lose it, you just give other people the excuse to make it your fault instead of theirs. To shift the attention your way instead of theirs."

Gabriel nodded, pursing his lips at that, watching him with dark eyes. "I thought I was going to break something when I heard what he said, I really did. I remembered what a counselor said. If you're losing control, remove yourself from the situation so you can cool down. It's not as satisfying as punching something, but it seems to work."

Verity nodded with a small smile of amusement. "You'll have to be careful, Gabriel. You have a mix of passion and fire in you that is a very volatile cocktail. Molotov, usually."

Gabriel laughed at that, shaking his head as he pushed his arm. "You should come dancing with me, I'll show you passion and fire," he promised, winking to him.

Verity sighed, shaking his head as he rolled his eyes. "Careful, one of these days I'll call your bluff."

"Who's bluffing," Gabriel gave him a playful, almost seductive smile for a moment before it changed to an easy smile as he pushed himself up to stand. "Thanks, Verity. I feel less inclined to duck my head in a bucket of vodka now."

"Good thing too," Verity pushed himself to stand, but more awkwardly than the younger man, rubbing the small of his back. "The good stuff's too expensive to waste by the bucket load, and the cheap stuff will strip your lungs just with the fumes."

"A priest who knows his vodka?" Gabriel gave a small smile, watching him with slightly narrowed eyes. "Intriguing. I'll find the truth out about you one of these days, Verity."

"I could say the same about you," Verity said pointedly, but waved a hand at him. "Be off with you. I need a comfortable chair. I meant what I said though, use the programme whenever you want. I think you'll like the church as much as I did."

Gabriel nodded at that, a small smile pulling at his lips before he turned, calling the 'arch' to appear. He paused in the doorway, the open door showing a glimpse of the 'real world'. "Why ~did~ you leave the priesthood, Verity?"

Verity looked down for a long moment, watching his feet on the familiar, rough stone slabs. He finally looked back up to him, just shrugging as he gave him a small smile.

"Hm," Gabriel watched with pursed lips and slightly narrowed eyes. "That's alright too. No rush," he said with a small smile, mimicking the other man's words to him earlier. He slipped out, walking down the corridor as he rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh. It ached, but he was more relaxed than he had been when he'd left the meeting. Now all he had to do was make sure he didn't make more of a spectacle of himself in front of Kiwosk.

OFF:

PO2 Gabriel Stark
Security
USS Galileo

PO2 Verity Thorne
Chaplain
USS Galileo

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