Welcome to the Nightmare - Part 3

Posted on 03 Mar 2025 @ 10:17pm by Ensign S'Ers-a M'Lyr'Zor & Lieutenant JG Sofie Ullswater

2,814 words; about a 14 minute read

Mission: Episode 21 - Helix
Location: USS Galileo-A - Deck 7, Arboretum and Main Engineering
Timeline: MD02, 0526 hrs

[ON]

Previously on...Welcome to the Nightmare

Sofie understood the importance of eye contact but her dark grey eyes hadn't looked up to Sera once since she started speaking. She glanced up for an instant but couldn't maintain it. As her eyes darted back to the floor though she noticed a pattern that she hadn't seen before on the ensign's skin. Her eyes lingered there, where Sera's hand met her ankle. Maybe another thing that they shared. "You formed a bond with him, so you've formed a bond with me too. I can feel it, pulling at me all the time. I pick up on your and Lamar's thoughts and feelings and memories. It makes me desire you. It makes me feel sick. I hate it."

And now the continuation...

A maelstrom of thoughts vied for priority in her mind. However, nothing was more concerning than the last part of Sofie's statement. That took precedence...and Sera was stunned by what she had revealed. "Oh, Gods..." She breathed. Lamar and Sofie were bound in some way that Sera had been unable to recognize, even within the mind meld. How could she have not sensed this?

"Yes." Sera admitted readily. To refute the truth was illogical, regardless of how distressing it was. "A mate-bond..."

"I don't know what to do." It wasn't something Sofie would ever normally admit to but as indicated by the weakness in her voice and the misery on her face, this was not a normal situation for Sofie. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve once again. She wanted this to be over, she wanted to escape this room and fly away with the ducks, run away to somewhere where the ponds are always clean and nobody's thoughts intrude on anyone else's. There was nowhere to fly though. She was stuck here with her ducks and all that dirty water.

Sera was not particularly adept at the mind disciplines. She had been instructed in basic things by her mother who was in her own right a competent Priestess of Seleya before...her father had taken her as his mate. She didn't teach me anywhere near enough to mitigate this.

The past could not be changed. One could only move forward. Whatever connection there was now between was quite imbalanced, causing Sofie Ullswater significant mental anguish. Sera could not even conceive of a solution until she could 'see' the entirety of the problem.

"I ask your permission to perform a mind meld, Sofie Ullswater. I do not ask this lightly. I am uncertain if I have the talent or expertise to rectify it, but I am willing to contact my mother to ask for assistance if that is case."

Sera wasn't certain her mother would even deign to speak with her, let alone assist. Especially once you tell her you bound yourself to a human. Yet she knew no one else who had mastery over such mental disciplines.

"I don't know. After what happened when..." Sofie's voice trailed off. She was scared. Scared of having to go through the fire again but also scared of having someone else in her head. The flayed man had been oddly silent this morning and she longed to hear his voice telling her what to do. Maybe he was a creature of nightmares from another direction but at least he gave her some certainty. She wanted desperately for something solid to hold onto.

She scrunched her eyes shut and crossed her arms tightly around herself. In her head she was trying to sift through the mire of her thoughts, it was such a mess and she knew she needed to be careful. Treat it like any other problem, start by gathering information. "What could you do?" She didn't open her eyes. "I want to make an informed decision. Tell me what process you're envisioning."

Sera did not initially respond. Her focus shifted from Sofie to somewhere to the right of the science officer's shoulder as she sat motionless, carefully considering the inquiry. Finally, her gaze snapped into focus and the placid expression shifted, giving Sofie a glimpse of Sera's inner frustration. "I...do not know. Perhaps make things even further from ideal." She exhaled through her nose with a huff of air.

"I was planning to approach the meld like performing a diagnostic. Scan, identify any issues, and if able, effect a solution." Sera pushed herself off the ground with her hands and languidly stood. "It was an inappropriate request, Sofie. I apologize for causing you any additional discomfort. I will return to the repairs, Lieutenant. If your offer still stands…I would find it agreeable for you to ‘assist’ me.”

"Wait..." Wait for what? Sofie could clearly sense frustration coming off Sera and really she couldn't blame her for it. Sofie had waded into her life, adding mud and complications into a situation that should have been bringing joy. Sofie couldn't help but feel guilt, once again she was in the role of a destructive force bringing woe to anywhere she stepped.

"I agree, we need to prioritise the pond, the waterfowl deserve that. I will try to help and I'm sorry for distracting us." There was a distinct change in her voice. Admittedly, she still sounded somewhat pathetic but there was now some direction, some renewed determination: she was able to think of this situation like a scientist again. "We also need to find a solution to our issue. Your idea is right, before we launch into attempted fixes we must do what we can to diagnose the problem. I'd suggest though that we must work the theory before we start any experiments. If you're amenable we should take some time, maybe later today, to try and work out a plan."

Sera tilted her head. "You are not a distracting force, Sofie. The cause of the delay is more than sufficient. Your well being supersedes the temporary discomfort of the ducks. Although illogical I must confess I feel..." Guilty? You bring suffering to all that you touch. Go ahead. Say it. This is a moment for uncomfortable truths.

"I feel guilt, Sofie, although I am not certain what exactly I am experiencing guilt about. Hurting you? Binding Lamar to me?" Sera paused as she began to pull out the clogged filters and began the messy process of cleaning them out. "I have been educated and trained to maintain and repair technological marvels of innovation...and yet, it would appear within my personal life all I am successful at is causing disorder." Sera had no idea that her words mirrored Sofie's inner thoughts.

"Regardless, your suggestion is acceptable, Sofie Ullswater. Further evaluation and discussion is necessary. We can affect the repairs and perhaps...head storm?"

It was uncanny for Sofie to hear Sera putting her thoughts into words. That's was certainly what it sounded like. What she had just thought seconds earlier was being repeated aloud. Of course, Sofie had to remind herself, given the situation this was not a coincidence or unpredictable. "We're agreed." She said and pulled herself shakily to her feet. She brushed herself down and wiped her face once again. She tried not to worry about it. There wasn't much dignity to be saved, and the job ahead wasn't exactly clean anyway.

"You feel like a fire, no matter what you do those who get too close are burned. People keep coming back, pulled in by the warmth and the glow, and so they keep getting burned. It makes sense that you can't exactly identify the cause of the guilt. That guilt does not belong to you, S'Ers-a M'Lyr'Zor." She shook her head and rolled up her sleeves, ready to do her part in the work of repairs. She still felt uneasy and queasy to be working alongside Sera but the last couple of minutes had done a lot to relieve the tension "I know how you make Lamar feel. I have felt it second hand and seen it for myself. You aren't the fire."

Sera's cheeks flushed and she averted her eyes down even though she wasn't facing Sofie. She was an intensely private person, and to hear another--not Lamar--discussing things of a private nature...well...

"You must shift your perspective, Sofie Ullswater. Fire can destroy, certainly, but it is also a force of creation. Both of our cultures have at some point or another within our collective histories venerated the power of flame, and sometimes, the overall benefit of such a thing is worth the risk--or the actuality--of sustaining a few burns."

"The vital force of creativity has been so often described as fire over so many cultures. But we would be mixing metaphors. What happened to Locksley or Mimi was no act of creativity." There wasn't any use hiding guilt and she was certain that even if Sera hadn't known about the lingering consequences for Sofie and Lamar she was at least aware of the basic events of the day. She instantly regretted saying it though, she didn't want this to become a discussion of what she had done.

"Are there any native waterfowl on Vulcan? I know there is a lot of desert." With the quick change in topic Sofie followed Sera's lead, grabbing one of the filter components and began clearing out debris. All the while she looked to see if something in the mess might give a clue as to what had caused the failure.

The trajectory of the conversation shifted yet again. Sera said nothing regarding the transition to a different subject. It was just as well - for the clogged filter screens were just a symptom...she focused on the impellar. If it wasn't functioning appropriately it could cause a reduction in pump pressures leading to debris collecting...

"No. Vulcan does not have any avian life that could be considered comparable. My planet does not have such variety of bird life. I have personally seen a shavokh - a graceful hunting bird that inhabited the region I lived in. It would be more analogous to a Terran bird of prey, however."

Sera engaged in the 'tiny talk' with Sofie, hoping that such a mundane exchange would help to ease her ongoing distress. Her hands got to the impellar motor housing and she blindly began to unscrew the covering to detach and remove the motor so it could be inspected outside of the tight space within the pumping unit.

"All the stories that I'd heard about birds of prey when I was a child made me think they were huge, maybe the size of a person. I wasn't disappointed though, when I first came to Earth to join Starfleet, they weren't large but they were beautiful and terrible in their own way." Sofie could picture it in her head, that little peregrine she had seen in her first month at the academy. It was so graceful and so full of confidence that it came across as an instrument of perfection. She would have believed it could do anything.

Though the filter component was free of debris it had been, at least to Sofie's eyes, diagnostically uninteresting. She looked over to see what Sera was doing. It was still uncomfortable to look at her, uncomfortable to have these invasive contradictory feelings washing over her reality, but it helped to talk about birds. Sofie had always liked birds. "Shavokh are meant to be rather large aren't they? It must have been incredible."

Sera concurred. "They are quite large; I believe the average wingspan is approximately 2.5 meters." The impellar motor slid out of its housing with only some superficial damage to her finger tips. Engineering was inherently hazardous work to the hands - it was why she kept a dermal regenerator in her work satchel at all times. Crouching back to down to the ground, Sera popped off the outer casing and peered within. Subtle scorching was visible on the inner side of the casing.

"It would appear that at least one solonoid has burnt up in the impellar pump. That would decrease impellar speed--if the device was able to maintain rotation at all--and caused debris to get caught up instead of pushed through and eliminated."

Sofie nodded "Good. That's great, we can fix that. We just need to work out why it—" Sofie realised she had been staring at Sera's hands. There was a precision to the way that Sera operated that Sofie found very satisfying, it showed years of experience in maintaining mechanical objects. The movements were elegant, uncomplicated, doing exactly what they were intended to do. Sofie found herself imagining those hands holding her face with that same care, found herself longing for it. The touch of hands, the touch of lips. Longing for that and so much more...

She turned her face from the scene, horrified at her own thoughts. "Is your hand alright? Did you hurt it?"

Her hands stilled in their task, and Sera slowly turned her hands over to gaze upon her palms. Thin green lines of pooling blood crossed the tips of her fingers. The fiber casing could be exceptionally sharp; it was an inescapable occupational risk. "I cut my fingertips on the edge of the casing. It is considered a 'job perk,' in some engineering circles."

Still averting her eyes, Sofie shook her head: Engineers could be very strange sometimes, and on a difficult day like today the sarcasm of it just sailed right past her. "That doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, not unless they actually want to get their hands cut in these 'engineering circles.' Do you need me to grab a first aid kit?"

"Hmm..." Sera 'purred' in a sub-vocal oscillation. The thought--unbidden--of Sofie tending to her fingers solidified some of the chaos swirling about her mind into a sensation she could easily identify...amativeness. It was startling; she should only feel such things for her mate, not--

"That is unnecessary, Sofie, although the offer is acknowledged. I will repair my fingers after completing this." That wasn't what she wanted to say at all, but it was the correct thing to say and that was what mattered.

"It is necessary. This environment is unhygienic." The chatter of some ducks punctuated her remark as Sofie turned back to look at Sera. She saw the green, standing out against everything else, and felt very strongly the need to take care of her, be next to her. Probably not an organic feeling.

Sofie pointed to the filter "I can't let you continue like that. If you must wait then let me take over. You can tell me what to do and guide me through the process."

"In the other pocket of my engineering satchel you will find a dermal regenerator and a small medical kit. You may obtain it for me while I continue removing the damaged solonoid." It was a compromise. Is it? Or do you want her to touch you? Her inner chorus sounded...amused. That was concerning given it had never shown an inkling of 'personality' before.

"Just wait, I'll get it. We're not in a rush." Exasperation! Why was Sera so set on sticking her injured hand back into the mechanism? Sofie began to pour through the satchel looking for the medical supplies. There were mostly just engineering tools, nothing unexpected but it still felt a little intimate. These were the objects that Sera worked with every day, the things that stayed by her side. Sofie wouldn't have been happy about someone going through her own bag.

Once she found the desired objects and arrived back at Sera's side she felt the tug of that connection once again. It would have felt so good to cradle Sera's hand in her own, to gently disinfect the cuts and repair the skin. To be there for her as a wife would. She scrunched her eyes shut for a second and then held out the the medical supplies at arms length for Sera to take. "Here."

Disappointment. However, that did not stop Sera from reaching out and taking the requested replies from Sofie's hands. She resisted--barely--the urge to caress her skin the tips of her fingers. Logical. It would be a biohazard to do so.

"Such minor inconveniences are common in my occupation, Sofie. Your concern has been noted, but if I were to stop for every injury, it would negatively impact my efficiency." The explanation occupied her mind as she cleansed the cuts, ignoring the stinging from the antiseptic before turning on the dermal regenerator to seal the wounds.



To Be Continued...



[OFF]


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Ensign S'Ers-a M'Lyr'Zor
Chief Engineering Officer
USS Galileo-A

&

Lieutenant JG Sofie Ullswater
Chief Science Officer
USS Galileo-A

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