An Inquisition

Posted on 15 Jan 2016 @ 2:34am by Lieutenant Benice Gyce Ph.D. & Jynn

2,065 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 10 - Symposium
Location: Jynn's Quarters, USS Galileo
Timeline: MD 09; 1130 Hours

[ON]

His quarters beeped at a moment of unexpectedness, for Gyce had come to call on this Deltan that Commander Stace had just started investigating. There at his door, the Bajoran waited. Jynn, while confined, still deserved respect. It was his place of privacy after all, so she would not barge in on that.

It was a privacy that for the first time in Jynn's life he did not want disturbed. It was all but certain that any visitation at this point would be uninvited, but like it or not he couldn't just send them away. Or could he? "I'm busy," he answered back through the door's comm with the most lazy excuse in the book.

"No you're not. Your tone suggests irritation, and given your situation I don't blame you," Gyce spoke understandingly. "I just want to talk and have an objective, unbiased discussion with you."

"Well, maybe I was about to be busy," the voice from the comm replied back with a defeated sigh. "Come in."

"Thank you," Gyce spoke wholeheartedly as she entered and looked around the room to take in the detail.

"We have not been properly introduced, but I am Lieutenant Benice Gyce," the Bajoran introduced herself with an open hand.

"Jynn," he replied as he took her hand and gave it a gentle shake. "Sorry for the circumstances of our introduction, but thank you for wanting to hear my story. I guess. I assume you are the new head of my investigation?"

"I am," Gyce spoke regrettably. "I felt it prudent I reinterview you, for it is my opinion your first session with Commander Stace was one-sided due to your initial confession. And while she is a great scientist, she was not all that objective."

Gyce pulled a PADD from her messenger bag, and gave him a copy of his confession to Holliday so he could refresh his memory.

"My job is not to ask about the events in question, but how it occurred," Gyce explained to him. "And I want to warn you, my questions will be personal. I ask that you be honest with me, because if there is a reasonable explanation, I want to find it."

"I'm sure I can handle any questions you are prepared to ask me," the Deltan answered matter-of-factly. He was growing accustomed to the questioning with a good deal of the questions being asked by he, himself. "Most of the questions have already been asked already. It seems that as of this point privacy is no longer of any concern. Besides, I'm not sure it can get much more clear-cut at this point. But if there is anything that was missed, by all means ask away."

"Thank you," Gyce nodded respectfully. "I'd like you to take me back to the first day you saw Miss Voutilainen... Can you recall if anything was different about that day? Given your strict Deltan celibacy training, I mean. Were you easily distracted? Feeling unwell? Anything about your day that normally would not happen."

The questions were somewhat unexpected to Jynn. He hadn't really thought about his state of mind at the time nor did it really seem like much of a concern to him other than the fact that he had seemed foolhardy. "Well, I'm almost always distracted. That or too focused. It's all kind of mind boggling really. But at that time it was sort of everything all at once. I was boiling with a mixed cauldron of emotions of a lot of the people in the room who had been sitting with me and then I looked for a focused distraction, does that even make sense? A focused distraction that could get my mind off of all the emotion.

"That's when I found Tuula. She was my distraction. We got all caught up in the moment and somehow for some reason something just clicked in my head that all the right things were happening to me. Then, rather harmlessly, she invited me to her quarters. After that, well, it all got out of control." He trailed off near the end, reminded of the bit of lost control that was most likely leading him to his loss of everything that mattered. "I suppose it was just all of those emotions and thoughts running through my head at once. It must have gotten the best of me."

"Are you normally able to cancel out so much emotion and feelings?" Gyce asked as she tapped her head to imply his telepathy. She knew Deltans were talented there but never really knew how deep it went.

"In an ideal situation, yes. Most situations are not ideal, though. I suppose it is a sad fact but I usually have to find some way of distracting myself. A change in direction rather than outright blocking it. Sort of like stubbing your toe to forget about the tongue you just bit? My method isn't as fine tuned as a lot of other Deltans."

"So what methods do you try, when wanting to distract your mind?" Gyce asked Jynn with sympathetic eyes. To hear things from his side sounded beyond the level of pain she felt in her leg.

"I sort of ignore all the other emotions by heightening one of my own." A look and feeling of shame had started to form on Jynn's face as he continued. He wasn't exactly a model Deltan and it was becoming obvious to even himself as he explained. "I usually can heighten fear or excitement. They are the easiest, after all. Any way to hide the lust. Dangerous games. Stuff like that. Any way where one feeling will completely wash over all the others. Like a cold shower of one raw emotion to distract me from all the others."

"So let's return to the day in question..." Gyce gently nudged back to the main part of the conversation. "You see this beautiful woman and you think it a good idea to spend some time with her. Was it strictly platonic? Or did you have a physical attraction to her?"

"Both? Neither? I sort of went on autopilot. I suppose it was platonic at first. I mean, physical attraction isn't necessarily a prerequisite for lust with my people, but whatever the case the emotions I felt sent me on an irreversible course. She's quite good with a knife, you see," he finished with an almost subdued smile as he recalled the events that lead to their retreat to a more private area. "That's when I told her I loved her. I suppose that could have been a tipping point, especially for her."

Kosst! This was not entirely a bad thing, but doing things like this for an infatuation that many confused as Love, generally ended badly in her line of work.

"At the moments preceding your declaration for her, did she know you were struggling with your oath?" Gyce had to ask it, like it or not.

Struggling? Was that what it was. Jynn had thought it a unique and easy way to deal with tough situations. A sort of cop out to avoid some of the rigorous requirements of actual discipline. Perhaps it was struggling. But of course Tuula didn't know. They knew nothing of each other at the time. "Not at all. It was our first meeting."

"How easily have you adjusted to the ship, prior to the event?" Gyce asked, for she was fairly certain there was enough evidence to pursue a Diminished Capacity plea, given the interviews she conducted.

There was a sudden and unexpected chuckle let out by Jynn. It certainly wasn't a laughing matter but the particulars of the situation seemed laughable if not for the culmination of just the right circumstances to have him break his oath so easily. "I wasn't adjusted at all. I'm still not. I was on board for only a few hours after the training exercises before it all happened. That must be some sort of speed record, huh?"

"Would you object if I had a psych eval on you?" Gyce asked. Sure, she could do the profiling pretty easily, but the command staff might prefer a second professional give their opinions as well. "I only ask, because I'm a criminologist. Counselors-of-a-sort, but mostly people that study why people do what they do. And given what you've told me and what I can see, it sounds like you're suffering from depression."

But how? It certainly didn't feel like depression. Jynn for a moment doubted it was even possible to feel depression, at least for an extended period to make it clinical. "I suppose I could see a psych. I'm surprised I haven't already. But I don't think I'm depressed. Between feeling my own emotions and everyone else's I don't think I actually have the time to be depressed. It's all just so fleeting."

"How does it feel inside when you can't shut it all off?" Gyce asked with sympathy.

"Like a coup d'etat of all my feelings on my mind. Like everything I'm feeling suddenly gangs up on me and makes me do whatever they wish. Like I become hijacked by my self. My real self. The self that I suppress." It sounded weak to himself as Jynn described it, but it was still better than the alternative.

"But I'd rather be taken over by myself than to deny myself. To actually shut it all off. It feels like nothing. But it's a different type of nothing. Like even though there's no feeling you know there's something underneath. Like all of the emotion you are suppressing is your body. Your body that you've just grabbed by the throat and forced into a pool of viscous fluid. You can't see it or feel it, but you know it's there struggling for life. That's how the suppression feels to me. It's why I try to never do it." He had begun to tear up as a spoke, but true to his word he was not about to stop himself. Not this time.

Gyce moved to pull tissue from a box nearby and handed it to Jynn. Then she carefully rubbed his back to let him know it was all right.

"I don't know what's to happen when I finish my report, Lieutenant Jynn. But I know every sentient has a moment of weakness in life. I also know the people here want to help each other when they can."

Gyce came around and leaned on her haunches so she was at his level. "...All you need do is ask, and I know the medical staff will follow through. You are no less Deltan or male by admitting when you're having these problems."

"I'm afraid it's too late for that, but thank you," Jynn spoke with as best a smile as he could muster. She seemed sincere, but the advice would do no good at this point to him. "I just... I just want to get it over with. There's nothing left to do, Benice." The way he said it you would have thought they had known each other since childhood. Informality and intimacy was a natural to his kind and it only took knowing her name to speak to her as a close friend would. "I'm afraid at this point all you can do is submit your report. From there the powers that be will have to decide my fate."

"I will come back again, before my recommendation to the CO is delivered," Gyce informed with sympathy. "If you are truly repentant and wish to stay, I suggest you write a letter of apology to the staff and Miss Voutilainen, along with a list of concessions you're willing to make so you can stay. If my findings in the end are what I suspect, then I will speak on your behalf."

The problem with that promise was that she and Dru did not see eye to eye on a professional level much. If Dru saw him only as a telepathic sexual predator, Gyce would be forced to recommend a harsh set of penalties to the command staff. Still... this was his first infraction. That alone meant a lot to most people in the justice system.

[OFF]

Lieutenant JG Jynn
Chief Flight Control Officer
USS Galileo

Lieutenant JG Benice Gyce
Chief of Security/Tactical
USS Galileo

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