...We Go Beyond them [part 2]

Posted on 22 Jul 2015 @ 10:18pm by Lieutenant Oren Idris Ph.D. & Petty Officer 3rd Class Ellsworth Hudson

1,873 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: Episode 09 - Empires
Location: USS Galileo, Deck 7 - Arboretum
Timeline: MD 02 - 1135

[ON]

[Previously]

Pursing his lips as these frustrations came over him, Oren looked away from Ellsworth and said nothing for the time being.

[And now, the continuation]

"It's okay," Ellsworth finally said. He had a patient smile, forced there for Oren's sake when all he really wanted to do was cry. "Maybe another time."

It was a risk - a big one - but Ellsworth moved his hand and placed it on top of Oren's wrist, holding it there for just a moment. Maybe it would make him uncomfortable, maybe it would make him angry, or maybe - just maybe - it would speak to the better part of him. Maybe it would say, Things are very difficult between us right now. You're angry and hurt and upset, and you have every right to be. But I'm still unafraid to be in physical contact with you. I still need you and want you. Your presence, even in your anger, is a comfort to me.

Ellsworth pulled away and motioned for Landi to come, and she seemed all too happy to do so. She'd been waiting with increasing impatience and now bounded toward the bench, stopping just short of jumping on Ellsworth when he outstretched his hand toward her. She sat obediently in front of him, and he began to scratch behind both her ears at the same time. Suddenly, Ellsworth turned to look at Oren and then bumped his knee into him to urge the El Aurian to meet his gaze. He picked his words carefully and said them slowly, well enunciated, to give them proper meaning.

"I'm thankful that you came, Oren."

A flinch, a twitch, a shudder.

Anything would've been preferable to the stillness of Oren's hand as Ellsworth touched it. He stared at it, feeling slightly betrayed by his own physiology. Ellsworth's hand had felt good, almost too good for Oren's liking. It was just another reminder of how little anger he actually felt on the inside, where it mattered. All of the frustration with Ellsworth, the rage, the hurt...it was all superficial, an armor he wrapped around himself to mask how little substance his feelings actually had.

At Ellsworth's little nudge, Oren looked up immediately. His face softened at the words and felt tears welled up behind his eyes. To hide them, he leaned forward to bury his face into his hands, obscuring it as he tried to get a hold of himself. He didn't even know what he was fighting against at that moment, Ellsworth or himself. Both, probably.

Swallowing the lump in his throat helplessly, Oren sniffed and wrapped his arms tighter around himself to fight against the surge of emotion that went through his body, threatening.

Ellsworth watched him, wondering the whole time whether he'd done the right thing. It had felt like the right thing, but it certainly didn't look like the right thing. Instinct urged him to put his arm around Oren's shoulders and pull him closer, to nuzzle against his neck with the tip of his nose, to try to whisper something funny in his ear. But that was too much too soon - even he knew that - and it seemed like a private moment, so he sat silently and waited for the opportunity to do something.

After several minutes, Oren sniffed once more, finally feeling in control enough to raise his head. Reaching up, he wiped away the tears running down his cheeks, his breathing still hitching occasionally from the repressed emotion.

"I don't know what to do, Ells," he admitted quietly, his voice sounding tired, defeated almost. >>

Ellsworth didn't know what to do either, but it seemed like poor timing to admit it. Instead, he just blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "I want to be able to see you again." He pursed his lips and moved them from side to side, then took a gamble. "I don't think it's good for us to be apart. Uh, you know, for like a long time."

Despite his best efforts to keep it down, a small but heartfelt laugh bubbled up and escaped Oren's lips. He shook his head, looking over at Ellsworth now with a strange, almost fond look in his eyes. "As sick it probably sounds, I think I agree with you," he admitted, shaking his head again, this time at the words he couldn't believe were coming out of his mouth. Still, he had to admit that no matter how unhealthy it might be, he enjoyed being around Ellsworth, even now. Gods help me, he thought to himself.

The Betazoid seemed to brighten immeasurably, even sitting up straighter on the bench. He had all the hallmarks of suppressed joy - limbs that twitched but didn't move, a smile that couldn't figure out what size to be, eyes so wide they almost looked crazy. "Okay! So that's what we'll do! We'll see each other some and things will get better, slowly, organically. And..." His joy seemed further tempered by a moment of seriousness as he gave Oren a very earnest look. "And they'll be different, too, I promise."

Oren pursed his lips, looking up at Ellsworth. He felt doomed as he realised that, with Ellsworth's mood lifting, his own seemed to, as if the two were somehow connected.

"Just one thing. That's all I want you to do," Oren told him seriously.

"Anything," Ellsworth said, eyes wide in anticipation.

"Don't lie to me. About anything. Even if you think it's stupid or that it will hurt my feelings, I don't care. Just tell me the truth."

Ellsworth nodded to show he was really listening, not just being flippant about it. He leaned in closer, but not too close, and nodded again. "Okay. I promise to never lie to you, to always tell you the truth, even if I think it's stupid or that it will hurt your feelings."

Oren nodded, staring intently at Ellsworth to try and check the sincerity in his words. Still, he knew it was difficult when the person who were speaking to meant the words they were saying. To Ellsworth himself, they were true. Whether he would keep his promise was still a mystery.

"Alright. But just know that this isn't me trust you, because I still don't. This is me saying that I want to trust you again."

"And this is me saying okay and I want you to trust me again, too," Ellsworth said, grinning a little bit as he swayed closer for just a moment. He could tell Oren was hesitant and for good reason. It bothered him only in that it was a barrier to the immediate gratification that he wanted. But he accepted it. It was a part of Oren and that made it okay. It just meant Ellsworth had to work hard, and he was prepared to do that.

Oren sighed, as if a giant burden was lifted off of his heart but simply moved onto his shoulders. Leaning back, he rested his head against the back of the bench, staring up at the Arboretum ceiling.

The moment was suddenly broken as Landi, starved for attention, attempted to jump onto the bench between them, pushing Oren and Ellsworth. Letting out a grunt as the dog pressed against his still tender ribs, Oren gently nudged her back, one hand resting against his side.

"Ow, Landi. Bad girl, get down," he said weakly, his breathing more shallow from the pain.

Ellsworth caught the spike of pain empathically as much as he did from the sound of Oren's voice. His head swiveled around quickly so that he was practically in the other man's face and proceeded to overreact, Betazoid-style. "Are you hurt?! And you didn't tell me! What happened? Are you okay? Get down, Landi. Landi, I said get down!"

Crying, Landi cowered for a moment, startled by the unfamiliar gruff tone Ellsworth was using towards her. Wanting to escape the commotion, the puppy jumped off the bench and hid under it, waiting for it to end.

Rubbing his side in the hopes of getting the pain to lessen, Oren winced at the sound of Ellsworth's voice, the sound making his headache spike. "I broke a few ribs and they still hurt," he replied and, unsure of why he carried on with his honesty, he added, "Cyrin and I...well, we were stuck in a room with a breach for a while. There wasn't much oxygen and we passed out."

Thinking that a standing position would help him, Oren made an effort to stand but a wave of nausea overcame him and his knees buckled, sending him to the grass.

Ellsworth was down on one knee next to him as soon as he could, all huffs and puffs and exasperated sounds over the audacity of Oren to be hurt and not tell him about it, irrespective of what had happened between them. When he spoke, it all seemed to run together into one long sentence. "Are you all right? You need to go to Sickbay. Hold on, I'll call a medic. Why didn't you say anything about being hurt? Didn't they fix you? I bet they didn't, they're so lazy in Sickbay! Which doctor was it? I'll file an official complaint."

"Ells....stop talking for a minute," Oren pleased, using the Betazoid for leverage to stand up. Finally managing it, he took a few deep breaths in the hopes of clearing his nausea. "I'm okay. I've been to Sickbay, they couldn't do anything for me. They say it's psychological," he said, a look of distaste on his face. The dizziness he'd felt was gone, but Oren allowed one hand to remain on Ellsworth's shoulder. For balance.

Ellsworth did his best to provide balance, though he certainly wasn't expert at it. He tried to think about the first aid courses he'd mostly slept through back during enlisted training, but he couldn't recall much of anything about supporting a person or helping damaged ribs.

"You're okay? You fell down. That is not okay. And what does that even mean, psychological? Who gets psychologically damaged ribs? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Ellsworth groused. Without asking for permission, he put an arm around Oren's shoulder and ducked under the man's own arm so that they formed a better support frame for the El Aurian. "Come on, you're going to Sickbay anyway. I don't care what they say. Stupid doctors. Landi, come!" With his free hand, Ellsworth slapped his outer thigh to emphasize the command for the dog. "And then I'll take you home and you can lay down. I'll fix you some juice - you know, that pink one you like."

Oren barely heard anything Ellsworth said, but the closeness and the sudden scent of Ellsworth cologne hit him hard and, before he could stop himself, another wave of nausea hit him. Retching once, Oren didn't have time to pull back and instead proceeded to vomit.

All over the front of Ellsworth's uniform.

[OFF]

PO3 Ellsworth Hudson
Quartermaster
USS Galileo
[PNPC Mott]

Lieutenant JG Oren Idris
Chief Research Officer
USS Galileo

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