Aftermath

Posted on 18 May 2015 @ 8:27pm by Ensign K'os Beaumont & Petty Officer 3rd Class Ellsworth Hudson
Edited on on 18 May 2015 @ 8:28pm

1,356 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Episode 08 - NIMBUS
Location: USS Galileo - Various
Timeline: MD -01, Various

ON

K'os splashed water on his face. He'd had his first full nights sleep, dream free the night before and was feeling rested. He stared at himself in the mirror as he watched water droplets run down his cheeks, chin and forehead. His eyes lingered on the dark circles under his eyes. With a shaking hand he reached up and traced the darkened skin under his eye. He caught the shaking and instead gripped the sink like he was about to black out. His eyes grew wide and he tried to blink away the intense throbbing that flooded through his head. He suddenly realized just how much he'd missed connecting to a chaotic uncontrolled Betazoid.

The feeling of Psilosynine allowed him to feel all of his emotions as simultaneously and as intensely as he had during his youth without the need to control them. It was like a hurricane of colour, sounds, memories and the intensities of heightened emotions. To feel all that at the same time as another's thoughts and emotions whirled around with it was...intoxicating. He took a deep breath and released the sink, took one last look at himself then reached for the towel.

******

Ellsworth refused to get out of bed, although there was no one really demanding it aside from himself. He stayed buried under the blankets in his room, staring at the desk pressed up against the opposing wall in his sardine-can of a bedroom. Below him he knew Father Walker's bed would be immaculately made, so clean and crisp it looked like something out of a brochure for one of those high-roller resorts back on Risa. By contrast, his bed was a rumpled mess. He'd woke up in the middle of the night shaking from chills and had to replicate three more blankets for himself; whatever medicine they'd given him in Sickbay just wasn't quite good enough.

He rolled over, away from the view of the desk, and faced the bulkhead to which his half of the bunk bed was attached. Above him, out of the corner of his eye, hovered a recently attached picture of Oren Idris. The second time he'd woken up in the night, he'd cried straight through an entire hour, sobbing Oren's name into a pillow and hoping he wouldn't wake his roommate. He felt like enough of a fool for what he'd done, so he didn't want to make an even bigger fool out of himself by waking someone up with his crying and whimpering. The depth of his grief was unimaginable, the sort one really only experienced when facing one's own demons, and it left him shaking and hollow. After he'd gotten hold of himself he went through the pictures of Oren he kept on his PADD; many of them had an imitative look of irritation as Ellsworth was prone to take hundreds of very close up pictures at once; those reminded him of the sound of his own laughter while Oren scrunched up his face and started up the tears all over again.

After hours of looking through the photos he finally settled on one, a candid shot from the arboretum. The green backdrop brought out the El Aurian's eyes; he was fresh-faced and beautiful, half-smiling and almost glowing with a happy aura, the way Ellsworth always remembered him in his mind's eye. The computer replicated a paper copy of the picture with an adhesive backing, and he affixed it to the ceiling a few feet above his bunk. Oren would probably always be far away now, but at least the memory of him could be kept near.

******

K'os' laughing was almost as loud as Hojo's barking. They were chasing each other in K'os and Doyle's shared quarters. K'os would run one way and duck behind the couch and Hojo would come running to find him. He'd bark happily then expect K'os to chase him. It was a fun game of tag until Hojo had decided to tackle K'os and bombard him with dog kisses. "Ack! Stop!"

******

The Betazoid's duty shift had come far too early. His head was thundering, maybe from the medication, maybe from the lack of a connection to K'os, maybe from the entire ordeal he'd been through. It had been mentally exhausting to say the least, so he really wished the chief petty officer droning on and on and on and on about safety protocols in the cargo bay would just shut the hell up already...

******

It was with some measure of relief that the observation lounge on Deck 7 was empty. K'os had taken a chair and wheeled it up to one of the curved viewports where he sat on the edge of it, back straight. He was staring out into space, reliving memories as they randomly floated to the surface. He was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and with each bite, bursts of memories would cascade through his mind like fireworks. His eyes were wet, and quiet tears rolled down his cheeks slowly. He felt small and alone sitting there eating his sandwich, and more than once he found himself strongly craving companionship, someone to touch him and distract him with a good story or funny anecdote.

He took another bite and tasted salt from his tears. Instantly the memories of playing in the ocean by his home on Earth came to mind, and a loud childlike laugh erupted from deep within him as he vividly smelt the strong smell from the ocean, heard the waves crash against rocks and felt the wonder at it's vastness all over again. His laugh simmered to a chuckle, which he stifled with another bite of his sandwich. In that moment he was thankful for the lack of people, saving him the awkward conversation that usually always ensued after emoting so strongly and publicly.

******

By the end of the day, Ellsworth had managed to let the routine of monitoring K'os fall into the back of his mind. At first it had been an effort - there was a telepathic aura around all that which made him feel almost reviled, like the pain and difficulty they endured had been so bad that, now that he was in his right mind, he didn't want to have anything to do with it - but eventually it became easier. Besides, he knew it was for their own good. They couldn't accidentally meet in the corridor. They needed time apart. Even if they didn't need time apart in a physiological sense, they still needed time apart. They were both hyperemotional in their own way, though he imagined K'os would work his way through it much faster. Ellsworth knew he didn't love him... But he missed him, as a friend and a lover. Their experience was impossible to replicate, unique, wonderful in its own deadly dangerous way, and he hastened to hold on to pieces of that before the slow restructuring of his mind threatened to take it all away. That he didn't want. He wanted clarity, emancipation, freedom from the bond, but he never wanted to forget K'os, not the sound of his laugh, the sight of his dimples, or even the warm feeling of his exposed skin.

******

K'os sat at Grayson's desk. The Admiral was outside waiting for K'os to finish his exam. His face was passive as he charged through the questions one at a time. Had he let himself feel it, he'd have been nervous and excited. This was an important decision in his career and he was determined to see it through now. His smile grew to a frown at the realisation that his first thought after handing in his exam was to tell Ellsworth about it. He would have been happy for him, would have bounced around hugging him. Before everything else happened, they were easy friends first. He nudged the memory aside and continued on to other exam questions. The memory of Ellsworth faded into the back of his mind.

OFF

Ensign K'os Beaumont
Assistant Chief Engineer
USS Galileo

PO3 Ellsworth Hudson
Quartermaster
USS Galileo
[ PNPC - Mott ]

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