Second consultation

Posted on 07 Apr 2015 @ 8:33am by Lieutenant Prudence Devin Ph.D. & Lieutenant Oren Idris Ph.D.

2,053 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 08 - NIMBUS
Location: USS Galileo, Deck 3 - Counselling office
Timeline: MD-1, 08:00

[ON]

Prudence waited in her office, the pot of tea ready. She had watered her plant, taking her time as she did her morning routine in the office. She then sat down, rubbing the back of her neck. She was waiting for Oren to arrive. She had been worried about him. And with being in sickbay, she still made sure she had time for her patients. And Oren worried her as much as Ellsworth. More, perhaps. Ellsworth was someone with issues, who struggled with what Prudence thought was an addiction. And Oren, a man with years of emotional trauma, had been caught up with it. If she allowed herself it, it would break her heart. But she was a professional. She had to be. Moments of weakness, of crying, were confined to her quarters, alone in the dark. It was important to her. So important.

She sighed and poured herself tea into the delicate Japanese cup, her eyes studying it. This was important. She had to make sure she was there for them. In her own sense, it was a motherly feeling, as maternal she was ever going to be.

Within a few minutes, the doors of her office swished open and Oren finally arrived. He looked slightly better than he had two days ago. Now, he wore a white buttoned shirt with the sleeves rolled up to reveal an ornate print on the inside as well bring attention to the watercolor tattoo on the inside of his forearm. The same pattern as on the sleeves peeked out of the inside of his collar and along the buttons on the front. He also wore pair of black, slim fit trousers and black boots. Running his hand nervously through his blond hair, Oren gave the doctor a small, polite smile when he saw her. Although Oren only felt marginally better today compared to the day before, he always prided himself on being a functioning depressed person. He was perfectly capable of making himself look presentable and going to work and getting back to moping and vegetating in his quarters when the work was done.

"Good morning, doctor Devin," he greeted, making his way to what was slowly beginning to refer to in his mind as his seat and if that wasn't depressing enough, he was also starting to look forward to speaking to a counselor.

Prudence smiled gently, nodding a greeting. "Good morning, Oren," she said gently, standing to pour his tea. "How are you feeling today?" she asked, a genuine question that meant a lot to her. She was not expecting miracles. She was just happy he was here.

"Terrible, but I'm functioning better," he replied, offering her the same level of honesty. Of course, he still wasn't completely comfortable pouring out all of his insecurities to Prudence, but maybe in time he would be. "Trying not to think too much." With a smile, he accepted the offered cup and gave it a small sniff to figure out the flavor. "How are you?" he asked in return, curious. After all, it only seemed fair considering she spent her entire day wanting to know how everyone else was.

"Worried about you," she admitted and nodded gently. "But I knew you would come here and get in here. You're...well functioning. It's true. What did you do since I saw you last?" she asked, sitting down and sipping her tea.

"Well,..." Oren tried to recall in detail. "I spent all day not being alone. I talked to a lot of people on the ship. I read up on Klingon culture," he said slowly, wanting her to know he still did some work, despite her warnings not to lose himself in it. "I helped out in the Arboretum. Well, not really helped out. Landi dug up a few things so I helped the new botanist plant some more."

"You kept nice and busy," Prudence said with approval, nodding as she kept her eyes on his face. "And how would you assess your emotional stability at this point?" she asked softly.

Oren fell into silence, thinking. Looking down at the tea cup, he raised it to his lips and took a small sip. He shrugged. "I don't know...still rocky, I suppose. But I think I have always been like that," he tried to explain. "I've always been emotional. I don't cry very easily, but things get to me. I care too much." He said the last with a lower tone of voice, softer.

"I don't think that is a bad thing...caring. And no such thing as caring too much," Prudence said softly as she smiled gently. "You seem more grounded today. Not...better, but more grounded."

"Maybe," Oren said, allowing it. "I've just realised that none of it is really Ellsworth's fault. What he did...it hurt a lot, and I don't think I can ever look at him the same way again, but...it feels like it was my fault, for getting too attached and making it all up in my head."

"It's not your fault for getting attached," Prudence said softly, holding his eyes with meaning. "It's natural. I do not think you should be too hard on yourself for it. I think...there's more important things for you to focus on, rather than blame yourself for a natural need for attachment."

"Like what?" Oren asked, raising an eyebrow. Everyone on the ship had gone a little gun crazy with the upcoming war games and Oren definitely didn't feel at home with the idea of getting shot at, even in play. War wasn't a game and it irritated him that everyone was so happy and excited over it. The Klingons he could wholeheartedly understand, but the Starfleet officer? Keepers of the peace? He sighed. Maybe he was getting too touchy at his age.

"Getting better," she said and smiled gently, shaking her head as she let out a soft breath. "Getting more settled. You didn't make a mistake...it was just the outcome was regrettable. It should not change how you approach life. There are far too many cynics out there, we do not need you added to our ranks."

An impish smile on his face, Oren shot the doctor a look. "Come on, I'd be an adorable cynic," he said.

"Adorable, yes," Prudence chuckled, shaking her head. "But I think there's too many cynics out there. Your...willingness to leap out there and just accept things means so much. It is what the Federation is about. Inclusiveness. Trust. Exploration."

Oren was quiet for a moment. He'd never found it particularly difficult to reach out and accept people. He liked people around them, listening to their stories, who they were, what their days were like. It always felt like second nature to him. "I've always loved talking to people. Things like this with Ellsworth are...an exception, I guess. People can be hurtful, but I can't imagine locking myself into some dark room, to be alone forever, no matter how tempting the idea might be sometimes when I feel down."

"And I think that makes you stronger than you think," she said softly, holding his eyes for a moment before smiling gently. "Than you perhaps give yourself credit for. It's...good. That you do not withdraw."

"I don't think it's good for me to withdraw. Every time I do, it just gives me time to think and thinking is never a good thing. It just makes me depressed," Oren explained, sipping his tea.

Prudence nodded as she sipped her tea as well, taking a moment to think. "You have a great grasp and insight of yourself and your emotions," she praised, holding his eyes for a moment. "It's...something most should aspire to."

"I've had a long time to focus on it," Oren said, feeling uncomfortable with the praise. "I saw a lot of therapist, from when I just arrived on Betazed when I was sixteen to now, sixty years later."

"But you change," she said, observing him for a moment. He was explaining too quickly. She wasn't sure if he didn't like compliments or if he didn't like admitting he had experience. "So your...insight changes with it."

"I suppose that's true. I used to hate seeing the counselors when I was a kid. Mostly, it was because they tried to figure out who or what I was the whole time. I didn't speak Federation Standard so they had a Bajoran interpret, it was...well, unpleasant, I suppose." Oren shrugged, thinking back on the entire experience with a frown.

"It's difficult when someone is translating...and also, so much can be told by tone. Applying adult tone to a child's though, it..." she stopped and chuckled softly. "Well. That's my opinion anyway. Hardly gospel truth."

"It's true. Even the Bajoran refugees were confused by me when I arrived. Everyone kept asking if I was Human," Oren explained, looking down at his tea. "I didn't even know what that meant. I'd never seen a Human before. Imagine my surprise when I finally saw one." He chuckled. The experience had been haunting once but, as years went by, the memory took on a much lighter tone.

Prudence smiled gently at the words, shaking her head. "Humans take it for granted...we view all other species as exotic and forget that we are...also new to some. How was it to meet a human for the first time, out of interest?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"Strange," Oren said with a small smile. "I'd never seen someone who looked completely like me," he told her, pulling his legs up to sit with them criss crossed under him. "Even Betazoids were different, with their eyes. The Bajorans I'd grown up with weren't like me. I always felt self-conscious about it."

"Seeing a Human felt...a little creepy, actually," he admitted finally with a laugh. "And the Human I met was so self absorbed. When I first saw them it almost felt comforting, seeing someone like me for the first time since my parents, but then they opened their mouth."

"Yes, humanity unfortunately has a large number of arseholes who enjoy hearing themselves talk. I apologise on behalf of my species," Prudence said, laughing warmly as she shook her head. "Seems we are unique in also being self-deluded. Most will never see themselves as self-absorbed."

"It's not uncommon for a member of a species to think they embody all of the best attributes of it," Oren explained with a small shrug. "People like feeling important," he added. Staying quiet for a moment, he decided his plan for the day by Prudence.

"I wanted to ask you advice on something," he began.

Prudence gave a small nod, holding his eyes at the words. She kept silent, to allow him to speak.

"A while back, I had...well, I suppose you could call it a fling on Starbase 84. It wasn't very deep or emotional or anything," Oren explained, leaning back. "We didn't even tell each other what we did or where we worked or anything. So, imagine my surprise when I realised he also worked on the Galileo. Let's just say I handled that knowledge less than gracefully when I saw him, so I wanted to swing by his quarters today to apologize."

"I think that could be good," Prudence said with a small smile. "For you as well as for him. It's not uncommon to be...uncomfortable meeting someone you expected to be a one night stand in your real, professional surroundings. I am sure he will understand...but also appreciate it."

"He's Betazoid, so I made him chocolate cake," Oren added, a small smile on his face. "So, even if he doesn't understand, at least he'll have something to enjoy after he kicks me out."

"Oh!" Oren suddenly remembered. "You won't believe this. He's Pieter's roommate. Can you believe that? It's like there's some karmic thread tying me to that man."

Prudence smiled gently, watching Oren for a long moment. "That and it is a small ship," she said playfully. "But that is a coincidence and a half..." she trailed off, her eyes shining with warmth.

OFF:

Lt. Prudence Devin
Chief Counsellor
USS Galileo

Oren Idris, Ph.D.
Archaeologist/Anthropologist
USS Galileo

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