Finding You, Finding Us

Posted on 15 Feb 2015 @ 4:07pm by Lieutenant JG Drusilla McCarthy & Commander Andreus Kohl

2,444 words; about a 12 minute read

Mission: Episode 07 - Sojourn
Location: USS Galileo: Kohl's Quarters
Timeline: MD44 2130hours

[ON]

Pola realised that there was some benefits to being the ex-chief medical officer of the USS Galileo, primarily that most of the crew knew her on sight and welcomed her onboard without any hesitation. There was of course the brief security inspection but that would be expected.

As she moved down along the quarters corridor of deck 2, the Doctor found herself thrown back to past memories of walking this same route to her own quarters. A ripple of sadness moved through the center of her heart as she realised how much she missed the people and place. There had been many a fond memory created amongst these bulk heads but...as it always went with Starfleet, nothing was ever permanent.

When word had reached her that the USS Galileo was leaving tomorrow, she knew that there was some people she needed to check in on before the opportunity was lost.

Pressing the chime on the door edge, she waited to see if this person would even be willing to see her again.

"Come in," said a man's voice, although it was muffled through the mostly-sound-proofed bulkheads. At this command, the narrow double-doors unlocked and pulled apart. Through the doorway, Andreus Kohl could be seen crossing the main living compartment, and he was carrying a potted plant in his hands. He was still wearing his Starfleet uniform, but the black and grey jacket had been discarded, and the indigo tunic was open down the front.

"Pola?" Kohl said, and then he caught himself sounding far more surprised than he had any reason to. Making up for it, he insisted, "Please, do come in."

Placing her hands behind her back, Pola found herself hesitating for a moment before taking a step into the quarters. She had forgotten how small the senior officer quarters had been...they offered a strange intimacy and homeliness which the big rooms of her new ship caused to be suffocated.

"I'm sorry for dropping in unannounced...I just got the news that you are due to leave in the morning."

Kohl nodded slowly, and he said, "Yeah, off on our new mission to..." --He hesitated sheepishly-- "Well, I think it's supposed to be secret." He swept a hand towards the sofa, but he frowned when his gaze followed his hand. "I'd offer you a seat, but, as you can see, it's already taken." The sofa, the end tables, his desk and the dining table were all covered in boxes and crates.

Pola smiled as she thought back to when she'd been in a similar situation, "The only benefit to bigger quarters in my own place, my belongs are easily shoved into corners and forgotten about."

Twisting her fingers behind her back, the Doctor took a deep breath before looking back over to Kohl, "Look...I think we need to talk."

Having crossed the compartment to the opposite bulkhead, Kohl lifted his potted plant onto a protruding shelf. His movements were hurried to free up his attention for Pola. All the same, he didn't look at her, when he cautiously asked, "...About ...my nerve damage?"

Pola paused for a moment as she tried to figure out what he meant. It took a few moments but finally it clicked, "No! Actually everything looked good, I've a few ideas I'll communicate to you in a few days but your being looked after well and your medical team seem to be doing a good job. No...we just need to chat about...um..."

"About..." Kohl boldly ventured, "About the other night in the bar? About how my hands kept finding you?"

Pola stopped fidgeting as Kohl's matter of fact remark hit home. Letting out a deep breath, she finally nodded her head. "Well yes...and the fact it seemed to be on both sides. I can't help feeling it's driving a wedge between us and I didn't want to let you leave without talking this through...you mean too much to me."

Staring down at the floor as he rubbed the back of his neck, Kohl considered Pola's words. He looked up at her. "I wouldn't say I've felt wedged apart from you," Kohl said, and he stepped closer to Pola, as if that would make his point. "But... I can't say I understand where that feeling -- that attraction -- has come from. I don't remember feeling this way when we worked together..."

"When we worked together there was Cyrus....", a sadness darkened Pola's eyes as she spoke the man's name. Taking a breath, she tried to finish, "I don't like this....I've always been a woman who knows what I want and how to make it happen but...I don't know what to do with this." The Doctor finally looked straight at Kohl but didn't back away, even had the bulkhead not been there, she didn't feel a retreat reflex.

"Come on, Pola, there's never a single, straight path when it comes to a this. It's always a bit messy," Kohl said, with the confidence that came from his people's culture of hedonism. He took another single step towards Pola. "Honestly, I'm cherishing this feeling... as puzzling and frustrating as it may be. I haven't been feeling like myself. I have friends on Galileo, people I'm fond of, but I haven't been feeling connected to anyone. I've been feeling isolated and other, until you."

Pola studied Kohl as she listened to his words. She had known that something more lay deeper beneath his surface that he tried to hide. She couldn't imagine how it must have felt to a man who's normal interactions with society were full of warmth and fun. To feel behind closed doors that he had nobody would have been an almost depressive state. "Andi...if you fill this void now what will happen once we seperate? Your ship will go one direction and mine another...it could be a longtime before we can meet again. Could you cope with that?"

"I... hope... this won't hurt you to hear it..." Kohl started to say, and he didn't approach any closer than he had done. He wasn't sure how Pola would react to what he was feeling. She may put her hands on him again, but it might be a slap this time. "You've given me hope, Pola. If I feel this way about you, if I can feel this way about you, it means I'm still capable. I can feel this way about another, if the situation were to arise."

A smile spread across Pola's lips as Kohl's last comment sank in. Hesitating a brief moment, she took a small step further as they were just a few short steps more apart from each other. "You really know how to make a woman feel good....It's easy for someone to feel the way I do about you because despite how you felt before, noone is ever blind to who you really are. A fun loving, kind and considerate man whom anyone would be lucky to call a friend...or more. The question is...what do you want to do about the here and now?"

"I want to be here, and I want to be now," Kohl said. He was speaking evenly; the thought behind each word was apparent. Quoting a holonovel without fully realising it, he said, "Now. Here. This." He shook his head slightly, and he came to stand within arm's reach of Pola. His unblinking eyes examined every facet of her deep brown eyes. "There's no sense in thinking about the future, when the now is still in question."

Even with the slight distance, Pola had to tilt her head back slightly so as to look up at Kohl. Emotions of fear and anguish darkened the depths of her eyes but couldn't hide the underlying need and want for the man who stood infront of her. Taking the last step further, she kept her head tilted to maintain the contact as their bodies barely brushed against each other's. "The decisions of now impact upon the future, they can't be ignored no matter what we try and think...but..." Moving up on her toes, the Doctor brushed the barest and softest of kisses across Kohl's lips before whispering, "....here and now matters."

Kohl hooked his left arm around the middle of Pola's back, and he pulled her body close to his. Now that Pola had kissed him, well... she had kissed him. There was no nervous tension or uncertainty. It was done. It might as well be done again. He tilted his face down, making it easier for his lips to meet her lips, to feel the shape and soft texture of her lips, unlike any lips he'd known before. Her lips moved in... unexpected ways, pressed against his own, and he tilted his head to the left to kiss Pola anew.

Pola felt shock that this was actually happening. The feel of Kohl's hands on her waist, the taste of his lips...it all felt right. As the thought invigorated her, the Doctor deepened their kiss as she pushed her body in against his; trying to get as close as possible. She knew that the time to talk had passed...they could make the time after. All that mattered was here and now as she pushed her hands under the back of his tunic, gasping lightly as the feel of Kohl's warm skin.

At the touch of Pola's hand against Kohl's lower back, Kohl gasped into her mouth and recoiled away from her grasp. He yelped out a brief, "ah!" and he asked, "What are you doing?"

Pola felt like she'd been slapped across the face and doused with cold water as she just stood there, first confusion and then hurt entering her eyes, her breathing still rapid and rugged in her chest. "I...You...I thought...." Trying to understand what had just happened, the Doctor rubbed her hands over her face, trying to understand how things had gone one way instead of the other. His words, his body language has cried to her what he'd wanted this...How did she get it so wrong. "I thought that's what you wanted....I'm sorry....I'll leave you be, it was obviously a mistake that I came here."

"...Pola," Kohl said. In contrast to her stream of consciousness, Kohl just said the one word. He said it slowly, and he said it like he meant to say, relax. He didn't run away any further. He reached out and he gently took her wrist. His body was shaking, but he was breathing deep and blinking too much, trying to calm himself. "I wanted you to come here; I wanted to kiss you too," Kohl said to her sincerely.

Feeling his touch against her skin, Pola jerked a little as she tried to gather her thoughts. "I'm as much used to this as you are....I'm career orientated not....this orientated since Cyrus."

"Pola," Kohl said, and there was only one question that really mattered in this moment. He winced and his body clenched up again. He remembered his lips on Pola's lips, and he remembered feeling an out-of-bod sensation as soon as that had happened. "Did our kiss feel right to you?" he asked.

Pola rubbed her hand over her face as she arrived to put herself back into the moment and remember. "Yes....It felt right." As she finished the sentence, the Doctor looked up at Kohl to show him that she ment it. She didn't want to say anymore as she had a feeling she knew his answer to the same question and it wasn't going to be the same.

Taken aback by Pola's response, Kohl's posture stiffened and something obviously broke behind his sapphire eyes. It wasn't the answer he was expecting. Kohl wanted to say something, wanted to speak, but his throat tightened up. He looked at Pola, and he could only communicate how wrong the kiss had felt to him by shaking his head.

Biting down on her lower lip to force back the tears, Pola just shrugged her shoulders as she took a step back. "That's the way that the penny falls sometimes. Keep in touch, don't be a stranger alright? And the job offer is always on the table if you change your mind."

Once again, Kohl was taken aback by Pola's whirlwind response. He wanted to talk about-- needed to talk about what was happening between them. As Head Nurse and CMO, they had been at each other's throat for a time, when Kohl had been hurting from a loss and hiding it all from Pola. They had managed to form a dear friendship, and then had been split apart by Starfleet orders. Their reunion had brought unfamiliar feelings between them, and now-- But Kohl didn't want to force the issue with Pola. He had just hurt her, without meaning to do so, and he didn't want to make it worse. "You're going to hear from me within the next five days, I can assure you," Kohl said. "I'm sure I'll want to tell you all about our new mission."

Taking another step of retreat towards the door, Pola could feel the shift in the air that indicated this needed to be spoken about but truth be told, her pride and perhaps even her ego had just taken a direct hit and all she wanted to do was run and hide. "I can't wait to hear it. We are going to still be docked at the station for several days more so I'll make the time to reply. Until then....take care of yourself Andreus."

Kohl didn't follow her. He crossed his arms over his chest, willing his open tunic to cover up all his skin. He couldn't be sure he wasn't making a mistake, but Kohl had trouble turning back once a decision had been made. "...Take care of yourself, Pola," Kohl said in reply.

As her back knocked up against the door, Pola's lips parted as if to say something more. As the moments passed and no words came out, the Doctor changed her mind. Turning quickly on her heel before the tears fell, Pola walked as fast as she could, headed for the station. She knew that she'd see Kohl again but in the meantime, Pola had some healing to do.


[OFF]

Lieutenant Commander Andreus Kohl
Chief Research Officer
USS Galileo

Lieutenant Commander Pola Ni Dhuinn
Chief Medical Officer
USS Olympis
(pNPC McCarthy)

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