What Happens Next....

Posted on 06 Feb 2015 @ 7:33am by Ensign Ibrahim Dragovic & Lieutenant JG Drusilla McCarthy

2,119 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: Episode 07 - Sojourn
Location: USS Galileo Deck 3 - Counseling Office
Timeline: MD 17 - 1400 Hours

[ON]

Like any interstellar organization, Starfleet had its fair share of red tape. As Ibrahim's first official posting, he had a long list of appointments to keep in order to fulfill his bureaucratic obligations and get formally settled in. Next on his list was a psych evaluation with one of the ship's counselors. He had already spoken to plenty of counselors in the past year, so one would assume there is a pretty comprehensive psychological file of him in Starfleet's records. Still, rules were rules, and this didn't seem like one he could get away with breaking.

He stood outside the door to the counselor's office, taking a moment to straighten out his uniform. Satisfied that he was as presentable as he was going to get, he rang the buzzer.

Dru had just been moving away from her desk as a chime echoed around the room. It seemed like she was continously on the go at the moment, one person to see after the next but if she was to be honest with herself, she enjoyed it this way, it didn't allow her time to think.

"Enter."

Ibrahim walked through the doorway and assumed a crisp at-ease stance. "Ensign Dragovic reporting for psychological evalutation, ma'am." In his experience most counselors insisted on dispensing with the formalities during appointments but he always thought it better to be safe than sorry.

"Please Ensign, at ease." Looking down at a PADD on her desk, Dru typed in the officer's name before looking back up with a smile, "Ib-ra-him....did I pronounce that right?"

Ibrahim loosened up slightly. "Ah, more or less, ee-bruh-heem. An old Arabic name, I believe." He awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "And if memory serves you are Lt. McCarthy, yes?"

Indicating a chair for the officer to sit in, Dru moved to the replicator, 'Dru please. We don't stand on formities here in counselling Ibhahim. That's a very unusual name...is there a story behind it? And can I get you anything to drink?"

He raised an eyebrow at the question. He certainly didn't expect a fellow human to find his name unusual. "Ah, well, it's actually a very common name in many human societies... including several on Earth. It's the Arabic pronunciation of Abraham." He guessed she was from Earth, in his experience they rarely grew up in the melting pot attitude so common in the colonies. "And a coffee would certainly hit the spot, thank you. Black, please." Not that he especially cared for the replicator's generic blend but beggars can't be choosers.

"I have to admit I lead a rather sheltered life in Ireland but even in the Academy I haven't come across Ibrahim. Izaiah and Abdul...I guess my life in the Academy also had me sheltered." Noting that her patient had still not taken a seat, Dru lead the way by leaving his coffee on the side table and taking a seat herself. "So what can I do for you today?"

Ibrahim lowered himself into the seat. "Well, this is my first official posting. I was told standard procedure was to undergo a psych eval with the ship's counseling department. Although last year, I was ordered to go to so many counselors I would've assumed that Starfleet has a pretty comprehensive psychological profile me already. You know, after the accident. I don't know if you've reviewed my file...?"

Shaking her head, Dru pulled her feet under her as she cupped her glass between both hands. "I've a tendancy ro find that reports compiled by others can cause me to judge a person before I've met them. Would you rather I'd a glance over your file or do you feel that you can take me through this accident?"

"Certainly, though you may wish to get comfortable." Taking his own cue, Ibrahim crossed his legs and looked off into space.

"The summer before my senior year of my Academy, my cadet cruise was aboard the USS Frontier, an Akira class, during a survey of the Hromi cluster. I was shadowing their Astrometrics Officer, Lt. Tavek. In some ways he was the stereotypical Vulcan, but we shared a love for the field and we got along quite well.

"The Frontier was investigating some strange energy readings from a planet-less binary star, and after some preliminary scans it was decided that more accurate readings would be obtained by cascading signals between the Frontier's sensors and another sensor array on the far side of the binary system.

"To that end, the Frontier's runabout, the Osage, was dispatched to the far side with myself, Lt. Tavek, Lt. Bao Nguyen, Assistant Chief Science Officer, and Ensign Shakaar Celes, flight officer. The dual cascade survey was proceeding normally for several hours when a massive freak solar flare completely disabled the runabout, frying our power generators, and, I would later learn, crippled the Frontier itself, requiring hours for Engineering to even get her major systems back online.

"So there we were, in a completely disabled runabout. No light, no communications, no sensors, and no life support. Trapped there, in what amounted to a big metal box, our precious heat being siphoned away by the void, and our oxygen running low.

"Soon, Tavek offered to kill himself. Said with his Vulcan strength he could break his own neck, since without power he wouldn't be able to beam himself out into space or jump out the airlock, saving the oxygen for the rest of us. I countered that the cold may get us before the lack of oxygen, and losing the heat he produced could be a liability to the rest of us. Before we could begin debating in earnest, Commander Nguyen ordered Tavek to hold fast, and that if we were rescued after Tavek killed himself he would see to it the Vulcan would get a posthumous dishonorable discharge.

"That seemed to settle it, so we waited, huddled together for warmth. We got to talking less and less, and that's when it hit me that I was going to die there. It didn't terribly bother me as much as I thought it would. We were all dead for billions of years before we were ever alive, and so why should we fear it so? It's completely unavoidable, and in the cosmic scheme of things there wasn't all that much difference in freezing on a disabled runabout next to an unnamed star in a remote part of the void and dying in a comfortable bed surrounded by the ones you love. I did the best I could with the time I had, and that's all we can expect from anyone. I'm not religious but maybe that's where afterlife legends come from, a sense of contentment at the moment of death coming from a life well lived. And likewise, hell is the realization that a life was squandered on pettiness and cruelty. And then I was ready.

"The next thing I knew, I was waking up on the USS Mercy, an Olympic class hospital ship. Turns out it took the Frontier almost a day until she was able to mount a rescue operation. I... was the only survivor. I had been unconscious for another week when I was transferred, spent another few in physical rehab, then started my senior year at the academy. The doctors aboard the Mercy, as well as the Academy Commandant, all insisted I undergo counseling, and I did with different individuals, with varying degrees of success. I don't think about it often but I do have... bad days on occasion."

With a sharp exhale he locked eyes with Dru once again. "So! There's the long and short of it, doc. What do you think?"

Dru admitted to herself that she had asked the question but she thought that it may have been the first time in her whole career that she had gotten the story in it's entirely without poking and prodding. "Ok...Let me ask you this. Aside from the bad days that you have how do you feel?"

Ibrahim furrowed his brow in thought. "Er, bad I guess. Unworthy of their sacrifices. They said Lt. Commander Nguyren was once stranded on an ice planet for four weeks, surviving on nothing but lichen. On a previous ship, Tavek dragged five people who had been knocked unconscious out of Engineering when it was flooded with radiation after a photon torpedo hit. And Celes... well, she wasn't much older than myself but she deserved better. They all did."

"So every minute of your day you spend thinking about what happened and analyzing it all over and over again?" Dru pulled over a PADD as she started to take notations.

"No, not at all. I realize that I, you know, got to keep on keeping on, as they say. And I've come to terms with the fact that there was nothing I could have done. Still, it's... a difficult thing to get over. I'm not a warrior. Hell, I'm barely a grown man, I don't have much of a stomach for death." He paused for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. "Maybe that's what I'm most worried about, that I'll eventually get used to it."

"Its not unusual for someone to have gone through what you have and emerge at the end with the same feelings." Putting aside her PADD, Dru leaned forward a little which she considered her next words, "I'm wondering if perhaps you are over thinking because you're continuously being asked to repeat and re-experience all that you have been through before? You aren't been given a chance to just go out there and live and experience life as it is now."

Ibrahim pursed his lips together and tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm... you may have a point. After all this was supposed to be routine counseling session, and I just assumed you wanted to talk about the accident, you know, based on my previous encounters with counselors. Maybe on some level I am... fixated" He clasped his hands in his lap. "So! Accidents aside, how do these routine sessions typically go? More or less the same?"

Smiling a little more easier that her words had been understood for what she intended instead of inflicting hurt, Dru casually shrugged her shoulders. "It's important for me to know and understand your past but I also think that perhaps you deserve some breathing space. We will still need to meet, say once a week, as you're still under orders for psy checks but I'd prefer to focus on your daily challenges and how you are faring rather than the past. If the past is an element that causes issues, we can work on each element as it comes up."

Ibrahim smiled as he felt the trepidation he initially felt about the appointment melt away. "Sounds like a plan, doctor."

"There is one catch..." Dru turned an empty PADD in the officer's direction, "I want you to find a new hobby. Something you can enjoy and turn to if you feel that everything is pulling you down. Swimming, dancing...hell sword fighting. The choice is yours but I expect to hear how your search is going next time we speak. You don't need to find something immediately but have fun trying to find something you feel you can eventually love doing."

"Hmm... Well, I did a fair amount if cycling back at the academy. It may be difficult to pull that off on board the ship, but I'll feel it out and let you know how it goes."

Dru smiled at this, "The ship has a gym in her bowls. You might find some sort of biking equipment down there. But also keep in mind it can be any hobby, even a new one. You'll find that it will help you focus more and your days pass quicker."

Ibrahim nodded. "Gotcha. I'll shop around and keep you posted."

As Ibrahim took the PADD from her hand, Dru turned back to her own PADD, "So would this time next week meet to suit again? You can record any questions or thoughts that you have and we can talk them over then."

"Yes, that should work..." he said, as he ran next week's schedule through his mind. He stood up and extended a hand "Well, Doctor, it's been a pleasure, and I'll see you soon, I'm sure."

Moving to her feet, Dru took the extended hand with a smile. "Don't forget to contact me in the interim if you feel you need someone to talk to sooner."

[OFF]

Ensign Ibrahim Dragovic
Astrometrics Officer
USS Galileo

Lieutenant JG Drusilla McCarthy
Assistant Chief of Counselling
USS Galileo

RSS Feed