An Accidental Goodbye

Posted on 28 Oct 2014 @ 8:47pm by Lieutenant Oren Idris Ph.D. & Lieutenant JG Grayson Jones

1,981 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 07 - Sojourn
Location: USS Galileo - Deck 4, quarters 04-2624 JO
Timeline: MD -27: 1200hrs

[ON]

Ten minutes into packing, Oren stopped paying attention and, at that point, he was sure he'd packed things no one in their right mind would wear on Bajor (or anywhere else for that matter). Stuffing another clothing item into his small bag before getting it ready to transport, Oren couldn't keep his mind still. Why did this have to happen now? Why couldn't it all just stay buried forever? At the word 'buried', Oren felt his stomach lurch and, if it wasn't for the door chime to snap him out of it, he was sure he was going to be sick right then and there.

Grayson though he had better come apologize for his most recent mental breakdown. Now and again he would have them as he adjusted, dealt with all the feelings in his head and sometimes heart. Sticking his head into the room without a full welcome, Grayson asked, "Bad time?" as he noticed bags being packed. Instantly his stomach began to flip on its own. His actions had not only made him loose a friend, but now he was leaving the ship. So much for confident Grayson, he thought.

Coming to a halt with a shirt in his hands (one that was actually wearable), Oren looked up at the sound of the door opening. Surprised, he tilted his head to the side inquisitively. "Grayson?" As his mind finally caught up to the man's question, he looked down at his bags. "Oh....no, no! It's not a bad time at all. Come in." Shuffling his feet slightly as he fought to regain some of his composure, Oren motioned to the room in what he hoped was a welcoming gesture.

"Going on a trip I take it? Not a long one I hope." Grayson joked, hoping it was just that, a short trip.

Oren nodded. "Yes...I need to go back to Bajor." At the name of the planet, Oren wondered briefly how long it had been since he'd called it home. "I will be there for a few days to get some things in order, and then I'll come back." Wanting to change the subject, he gave Grayson a small half-smile.

"Why? Looking forward to being rid of me?" 'That's right. Best keep things light,' Oren told himself.

Grayson moved closer, letting himself rest on the edge of the bed, getting closer to Oren. "Quite the opposite actually." In his mind, he was giving smoldering, irresistible eyes. In reality, Oren probably thought he had a twitch.

He took a breath. "Listen, about the other night. I'm sorry." Not wanting to go into full detail where his head was at, he gave an indepth enough answer that if all Oren wanted to take from it was that, he would, but gave options for questions if needed. "My heads not really been in the right place since getting on board. I can guess you could say being thrown in at the deep end didn't work to well with me. You didn't deserve to see me as a hot mess...at least this soon anyway. But I appreciate you handling me with the 'kid gloves' so to speak." Grayson smiled, trying to let his trademark good humor carry the conversation.

"You have nothing to apologise for," Oren assured him, trying not to feel annoyed that Grayson had chosen this exact moment to come and see him. He was having enough problems keeping himself together as it was. Discussing whatever it was between them was not high on his wish list. Not at that time, at least. Not wanting to brush Grayson off, Oren remained kind and understanding. Despite everything, he did truly care for the young Trill, even if it wasn't in the way he wanted.

"I just wish I could have helped you. I...I actually felt kind of responsible. I mean, I know that probably makes no sense, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry if I, in any way, added to your problems," he said sincerely, folding the shirt in his hands and placing it in the bag.

"Oren," Grayson sighed, "That's cue, but...shut up." He giggled. "You did help, you were there. I just wanted to pop in and let you know...should you ever need it. I'll be there as well." He sensed the hurry, but did not want this to be another flying visit. "Like just now, you're either having a lot on your mind, thinking about those tribbles still...or both knowing you so far." He picked up the nearest piece of clothing and began to fold it neatly.

Oren let out a small puff of laughter. "I wish," he admitted, smiling appreciatively at Grayson's help. "I just got some bad news from a friend so I've got my head full at the moment."

"Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that." Grayson replied, concern filling his voice and facial expression. "I'm no counselor, but... do you want to talk?" Knowing all to well things like this could be hard, he let Oren lead the way now.

Oren shrugged. "I don't know what there is to say. Did you even think some part of your life was over but then it sneaks up on you years later?" Just as the question left his lips, Oren felt how ridiculous it was, asking a man a quarter of your age that question. That, in itself, proved just how out of it he really felt.

Quite thoughtfully, Grayson pondered his own life for a second before giving his reply, "More than what you would think." Where would he start, his father? His former lover/stafleet captain? The many other skeletons in his closet waiting to burst out at a moments notice and have a party? "They always seem to spring out of nowhere and catch us off guard, least expecting it and, at times, already vulnerable."

Oren nodded, folding a pair of crimson trousers in his lap, his eyes fixed on the colour. "I haven't been to Bajor since I was a child, not since I escaped during the Occupation after my parents died," he explained softly. "My friend called today to tell me she'd found their remains so I need to go back." The whole time, Oren kept his eyes focused on the clothing item in his lap, playing with a loose thread.

"Oren, I'm so sorry." Grayson said sympathetically, moving closer and placing his hand on Oren's shoulder. "I'm glad you have a friend there to help you. This isn't the kind of thing you should have to deal with alone. If you want someone else to go, I'm sure I could ask and accompany you for a while if you needed." His face was full of concern.

Oren smiled. "That's a very kind offer, thank you. But I need to do this on my own, I think." Reaching over, the El-Aurian gently patted Grayson's thigh in appreciation. "There is one thing, if I could impose on you a bit." Oren finally looked up at Grayson, steeling himself for his next question.

"Anything you need." Grayson smiled, appreciating the touch and warmth.

"Could you check in on Ellsworth once or twice?" Oren asked tentatively, unsure of what Grayson's reaction would be. He knew his history with Ells, but the aftermath (apart from the crying) was unknown.

"Of course. I've been trying to make friends anyway here, finally do the whole settle into a place thing. He's a nice guy." Grayson continued to give a soft yet warm smile. He wondered Oren's connection with him, but let this wondering side die down for now...this was not the time for his own petty emotions to take hold.

Oren smiled fondly, glad someone shared his opinion of the Betazoid. He'd overheard people in the messhall and not all of the crewmembers approved of his "gallivanting", as they put it. . "I haven't told him where I'm going because there's no time. Don't tell him anything, just check on him to see if he's okay. He's a lot more fragile than he looks."

"Secret is safe with me. If you are close, will have to tell him something at some point. You can't go disappearing on him. If he is as fragile as you say, it might hurt him. I'm guessing you won't want to do that."

Oren nodded with a frown. As much as he hated to admit it, Grayson was right and he knew it. Somewhere deep in the back of his mind, Oren knew that keeping his sudden departure from Ellsworth would come back to haunt him. He sighed, "I know. I just...I just can't talk to a telepath right now," he admitted. Although he had no problem spending hours with Ells, even days, there was just something uncomfortable about the idea of the Betazoid seeing the emotions whirling inside him at that moment. In all honesty, he wouldn't arrive at the outpost for a solid hour, which was plenty of time for him to find Ellsworth, tell him everything and even share a cup of tea, but just the idea of someone with the potential to read his mind being the same room with him at that moment seemed unbearable.

"Does that make me an awful person?"

"Not at all. I get where you are coming from, I really do," Grayson searched his mind for a solution. "Tell you what. Want to write him a little note or something and I will make sure it gets passed along?"

"Um...." Oren shifted nervously, looking down at his hands, now useless with nothing to fold. "No, I-I think I'll call him from the shuttle, or when I get there," he decided. "But I want him to hear it all from me. I mean, I know I have no right to ask you to lie for me, but I'd really owe you if you just played a little dumb about where I am." Oren looked up at Grayson again, his green eyes pleading and slightly glassy. "Please, Grayson?" His voice came out almost desperate and Oren hoped his friend would agree.

"Of course," Grayson gave a soft yet warm smile as he reached out to squeeze Oren's hand in comfort. "I don't want to get in your way then Oren," he continued as he went to get up. Out of instinct more than anything he gave a small kiss to Oren's forehead as he went to move past him. "You know where I am if you need me, even a subspace call away."

At the kiss, Oren closed his eyes briefly, feeling a slight, odd thrill go through him at such a small, but much appreciated gesture of affection. But it also served to add even more doubt about their relationship.

"Thank you, Grayson," he said absently, instinctively, before looking up at the Trill's retreating figure.

"Grayson?" Once he had the man's attention, Oren continued. "We're still friends right? Even...even after," he hesitated. "You know."

"The best of, I hope," Grayson smiled. "I had a lot going through my mind and took a temporary leave of my senses. That's a conversation for another day though, you have a lot yourself right now. Just remember. Here. Call. If needed," with that Grayson gave his normal charming wink and hesitantly left the room. He wanted to be there for his friend, but continued on, bearing in mind to respect his wishes.

As Grayson left and Oren continued to sit on the bed, the El Aurian suddenly felt very lonely in the Trill's absence. Deciding it was irrational and the result of his current state, he resisted the urge to call him back inside and instead continued to pack, more urgently this time.

[OFF]

Oren Idris, Ph.D.
Archaeologist/Anthropologist
USS Galileo

Ensign Grayson Jones
Assistant Chief Engineering Officer
USS

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