Nicht ohne meine Erlaubnis

Posted on 06 Mar 2014 @ 10:53pm by Lieutenant Olsam Mott & Lieutenant Teth Miir
Edited on on 07 Mar 2014 @ 8:15am

3,149 words; about a 16 minute read

Mission: Episode 06 - Legend of Souls
Location: USS Galileo: Deck 3, Room 03-1305
Timeline: MD -12: 2300 hrs

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Olsam had given Teth the bottom bunk in their shared quarters because he was much taller, and it just seemed like it would be more comfortable. The top bunk had momentarily groaned in protest at the heavy weight of the Bolian doctor, but it hadn't collapsed. Yet. He wasn't exactly accustomed to sharing a bunk bed with someone in a junior officer's quarters, but then again he'd never served on such a cramped ship. Idly, he wondered how the quarters were arranged on a Defiant-class vessel. Probably even worse than this.

"Pssst, Teth," Olsam whispered in the darkness.

Teth remained silent, only faintly registering his room mate's stirring.

"Psst. Teth. Hey. Pssst."

The caitian was actually awake at this point, but he remained completely still, hoping Olsam would shut up and go to bed.

"Hey Teth are you awake?" Olsam said, yelling in a whisper.

"I am now." Teth said through clenched teeth, pulling his blanket over his head. "Why are you talking to me right now?"

"I can't sleep."

"Well, you're a doctor. Why don't you go drug yourself with something. I'm sure you have access to all sorts of stuff. Maybe a large dosage of ketamine would help?"

Some rustling could be heard above and finally a blue face dangled over the edge of the bed, staring down at Teth.

"I never realized how long you are. I mean, tall. But long, laying down. We should get a bigger bunk. I'll talk to the quartermaster," Olsam said. His smile faded, and he looked serious. "I think I can hear the warp drive when it's quiet, and you're not snoring. It's keeping me awake."

"So... you want it to be louder in here?" the caitian said, pulling the blanket from off his head.

"Huh? Oh, you mean my talking?" Olsam asked. "Well, I couldn't sleep! I talk when I'm nervous! When I heard the warp core I started thinking, 'What if something is wrong with it?' What if we die in our sleep, Teth? Can I sleep in your bunk? I'm not afraid to die, but I don't want to die alone."

"You're sleeping directly above me. Is that not together enough for you? With as much as your bunk squeaks when you move, it's like a perpetual reminder that you are up there, alive and well. Doing whatever it is that you do up there."

Teth sat up, the room was mostly dark, but he could still see quite well, he looked Olsam in the eyes.

"What do you do all night up there? I used to have a human bunk mate who would compulsively masturbate. I mean, the guy did it all night long. It made me uncomfortable and prevented me from getting any sleep. I had to request a change of quarters. But that isn't what you're doing. Oh no. It seems like you're up there ritualistically sacrificing animals or something. Night after night."

Olsam furrowed his brow in irritation. "I'm not masturbating or sacrificing animals or anything like that. I'm just an active dreamer, okay? And sometimes I have a hard time falling asleep because I'm too busy worrying about all kinds of things, like the warp core or whether you're gonna get stabbed again. Maybe I'm also a little afraid of the dark."

Teth rolled his eyes and sighed, though he wasn't sure Olsam caught the eye roll.

"Why would I get stabbed again?"

"I don't know, why wouldn't you get stabbed again? I don't like the way M'ressa looks at you sometimes. She looks like a stabber." Olsam leaned a little more over the side, a floating blue face with the whites of his eyes and his teeth shining brightly. "I'd never stab you. Just so you know."

"Neither would M'Ressa. But somehow I suspect you might drug me. Why do you hate her so much? Is it really all just jealousy, or has she actually done something awful that I'm just unaware of?"

"I don't know, I haven't finished my background check," Olsam said in a huff. He fell silent for a few long moments, except for his heavy breathing from the strain of the position. The darkness in their quarters seemed to make him feel some sense of safe anonymity. "Maybe I'm just jealous. Mostly. Probably completely, whatever, stop interrogating me!"

"Background check. Olsam, are you stalking her?"

The silence stretched on while Olsam review the definition of 'stalking' in his head. "No. I'm investigating her. Sometimes you have to follow people to investigate them. Did you know she spent 7 minutes and 42 seconds in the waste extraction unit on Deck 4 yesterday? What do you think she was doing in there? Probably meeting another man or planting an explosive device or transporting in and out to commit a murder. I couldn't get the locking mechanism to deactivate to find out for sure."

"I really hope, for your sake, that you are joking about that statement. Because that does constitute stalking." Teth turned gravely serious.

"Of course I'm joking," Olsam said, flopping an arm over the side. "I'm not actually crazy. Maybe just a little bit jealous and protective."

Teth was silent for a long moment before sniffling and then speaking.

"Good. Ok... that's fine. This way we can all be safe."

"Uh, what? Safe? What're you talking about?" Olsam eased a little closer to the edge, dropping down closer to Teth. "I'm not dangerous!"

"I know." Teth said as he tried to get comfortable again.

"It's just that, I care a great deal about M'Ressa, just like I do any member of my family. If anyone does anything to harm one of the people I care about.... Well, I'm sure there wouldn't be a pleasant outcome."

"I'm gonna pretend that you care about me the most. Maybe it'll help me fall asleep," Olsam said cheerily, completely glazing over the ominous undertone of Teth's statement. "You're definitely at the top of my list, best friend. I'd kill anyone who tried to hurt you, too. You can't always trust the justice system; we Bolians believe that sometimes people just need to die."

Olsam rolled back into his bunk and yawned loudly; despite the cheeriness of his tone, the doctor's matter-of-fact statement and propensity for resorting to drugging probably meant he would, in fact, murder someone threatening.

Teth thought about that statement a great deal. Could Olsam be trusted? He cut himself off, not even wanting to think about saying anything he knew he needed to take to the grave.

"Have you ever killed anyone, Olsam? Intentionally?"

Olsam remained quiet a moment and then rolled, his head appearing over the side of the bed again. "Yes, of course."

"Why?"

"Well, Bolians believe in providing people with a merciful death to end their suffering," he said, as if it were an everyday occurrence. "It's not exactly a widely embraced belief in the Federation - I know some people look down on us for it - but I believe it's part of merciful, compassionate care. I've killed more than a dozen terminally ill patients myself. Legally, of course. Oh, and I killed a Breen once, back during the war. I think his atmospheric fighter crashed near my triage team outside Paris. He seemed to pose a threat so I shot him with my sidearm. It took like three shots cuz I have terrible aim but I finally got him. I don't think he was armed, though... Say, do you think I was supposed to take him prisoner? Seemed easier just to kill him... We had more important things to do, like save lives."

"I don't know. I probably would have killed him. I wouldn't even know what to do with a prisoner."

The caitian closed his eyes breathed deeply, trying carefully to decide what to say next.

"I killed someone once. A long time ago."

"Was he Breen, too? No, wait, I suppose not. You were a little young during the war. Who was it? Did they deserve to did?" Olsam narrowed his eyes, suddenly suspicious. "Is this gonna be some Vulcan story where the 'person' you killed was your inner anger or something? I hate those."

"No, but it did happen on Vulcan. Do you remember me mentioning someone trying to stab me to death?"

Olsam rolled his eyes. "Of course, your professor-lover, what's his face, the Romulan. You murdered him on Vulcan?"

Teth sighed in annoyance and embarrassment.

"You certainly have a way with words...."

He buried his face in his hands and rolled toward the wall.

"Yes, him. But there is no body anymore and no one, except for you, even knows that he is actually dead. As far as I know, the official theory is that he defected to the Romulans. Well, one of their many shattered clans, at least. And I feel no remorse about any of it. I am just so worn down by keeping something so important a secret. It was one of the most positive and deciding moments in my life."

Olsam rolled until he was hanging off his bunk, bent at the waist with blood rushing to his head. He was probably one of the few people in the galaxy who could be so unconcerned about an admission of murder, probably because he had suspected as much after the dinner in Dusseldorf; the Bolian wasn't half as stupid as everyone thought he was. "Do you need a hug?"

"No. I kind of want to vomit or rip my hair out or do something to distract me from knowing I just said that out loud. Do you know something Caitians never do? We never kill people. We're a race of pacifists. I thought I was a good person. I love my family, I would love to have my own one day. I aspire to help others through my work. But I killed someone. Violently. And I really don't feel anything about it at all. Maybe just a vague sense of relief and slightly more order to the universe."

"I still think you're a good person who loves his family and will have one of his own some day and helps people through his work," Olsam said wiggling back on to his bunk enough to keep all the blood from pooling in his head. "Who could blame you for killing him? He stabbed you; I can't imagine what else he did to you. He was a very sick man, and he's probably better off dead." It was fairly simple and straight forward to him, but he imagined Teth didn't see it that way. "If you're relieved, why do you want to vomit? Do you think you should feel really bad?"

"Killing someone is the worst thing you can possibly do. It goes against everything I was taught and everything I still believe. I find ways to rationalize it in my mind because... at the time it was just so easy. He had a titanium wire necklace and I garrotted him with it. At first I was just strangling him, but as it quickly cut into his throat, I would say it's hard to tell whether he died of suffocation or exsanguination. And when he finally stopped moving and got cold, I looked down at myself, covered in blood. I tore off my clothes and I rolled around in the desert naked and dry heaving and reeling in horror from the smell of it all. In the struggle, he had shit himself. That shouldn't have been surprising, but it was. I was glad I packed extra clothes."

"He probably bled out. Romulans are sorta thin-skinned in more ways than one," Olsam said, speaking as if they were reviewing case files or something. He stayed quiet for a few moments and finally spoke up, though his voice was softer. "I can think of worse things than murdering a criminal and an abuser. Inaction, sexual molestation of an impressionable young man or woman, rape, torture... Anyway." Olsam cleared his throat. "You have a pretty hard time forgiving yourself, buddy, especially when you deserve the forgiveness. Would you rather pay penance in a penal colony?"

"No. I think I'm doing good work where I am now. The funny thing is..." except he wasn't very amused by it, "I had started making contact with him when he was released from prison. I wanted to see if he had actually been rehabilitated. We spoke every day for a while there. I decided to go visit him one day at Utopia Planetia."

There was a long pause as Teth remembered that day. He'd done his best to repress the events leading up to the engineer's death. But they were starting to seep back into his conscious thought.

"Needless to say, he hadn't recovered. He tried to be affectionate toward me and I rebuked his advances. That was not what I was there for at all. I was a fully grown adult at that point and probably could have killed him if I'd wanted to. I guess he had a hypospray up his sleeve or something though. I woke up the next morning in his quarters, in his bed. He wasn't there. I grabbed my clothes and was about to literally run, when I bumped into this engineering officer in the hall. A younger Caitian cadet with the provisional rank of ensign. He was on his way to see Koran. So I left. I didn't call security or anything. I just started planning. Even after all of that, I was still going to be his best friend, I had to tell him I was still in love with him and that we would run away together. Instead, I lead him to a desolate area on Vulcan and when he tried to put his arms around me, I grabbed his necklace and twisted it as tightly as I could until he finally just died. I buried him there, with my dirty clothes. I walked back to the nearest town the next morning and then went back to Earth. I went back to my job as usual."

"Well, I guess you're not a sociopath, or you wouldn't be feeling even a little bad about it, right? You know, I've always thought the rehabilitation statistics were inflated by Starfleet Medical," Olsam said, almost as if it were a passing thought. He frowned and reached a hand down over the side, stretching for him as if touch was somehow going to help comfort him. "He did a lot of bad things... If you'd reported him to the authorities, they would have just given him a longer sentence and tried to rehabilitate him again. He seems to have had a serious psychological disorder; I'm sure there were other victims. And probably would have been more if you hadn't...handled him. I don't feel like repeat offenders fit well into the Federation justice system."

Olsam stared down at his friend for a long time, listening until he thought he could hear the warp core again. Or maybe it was just the hum from his specially-installed waste extraction unit.

"I won't tell anyone," he finally whispered.

"I appreciate that." Teth said. "You have no idea how much I appreciate that. This has been eating at me for years. You know, I made friends with his son- who has absolutely no idea who I am. He thinks I am a botanist named Tharvin. He's a nice kid."

Olsam laughed, loudly. "Tharvin? That's a horrible name, Teth. Sounds like some farmer. Next time you want to make up a persona you should ask me for advice on the name. You could have been Dr. Wallis Fitzgerald, a caitian refugee raised on Cestus III with a tough hide and a heart of gold who's spending his life searching the galaxy for a rare, mysterious plant rumored to be the only cure for the deadly neuro-degenerative disease you were injected with by your arch-nemesis, The Reverend Dr. Alabaster Glenny. But instead you chose to be Tharvin the Farmer. Boooooring."

"Well, I paid a personnel offiver over at Starfleet Academy for a few fake identities in case I ever needed them. They were a J'naii and you know those people aren't known as being the most creative bunch."

Olsam looked at him earnestly, only his wide eyes visible over the side of the bunk. His feet were beating out a soft rhythm against the wall, and his voice was muffled from having his mouth shoved into the sheets. "You're still my best friend, Teth, despite what happened."

"Which part?" the caitian said, still unable to get comfortable. He was starting to become very irritated.

"Gods, you know, given the great diversity that is the Federation and Starfleet, you would think they might consider making the bunks a little bit larger? We aren't all humans and Andorians."

"All of the parts, of course," Olsam said, watching Teth squirm. "Do you want the top bunk? I don't know if it's roomier or not... Or I could give you a sedative to help you sleep."

"A sedative sounds like an excellent idea. Lest I get caught up in some strange, semi-conscious mental loop where I live out the imagined time of my workday."

Olsam lifted an eyebrow but didn't say anything; a moment later his feet hit the floor with a very solid thud. Using surprisingly good spatial memory, he located his medkit on a shelf and flicked on a worklight to make sure he was loading the right dosage of the standard sedative for sleeplessness, ambizine. He upped the dosage just a little bit to make sure Teth got a good night's sleep before crossing the room and administering the injection.

"Sweet dreams," Olsam said, smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. "Sleep well."

Feeling exceptionally drowsy almost immediately upon hearing the hiss of the injection. Before he sunk into the drug induced sleep, he remembered Olsam's desire to drug people everywhere he went.

"Nicht ohne meine Erlaubnis."

"Okay, nick oh mine air laubunus to you, too, Teth," Olsam said, patting him on the cheek as he drifted off into sleep.

He managed to push and pull and heave until Teth was satisfactorily stuffed into the bunk. Then the Bolian brought the sheet and blanket over him and lovingly tucked it under his chin. He stared down at him for a moment, eyes a mixture of sympathy and concern, before scaling the heights back into his own bunk and trying to ignore the sound of the warp core.

[ OFF ]


Lieutenant Olsam Mott, M.D.
Assistant Chief Medical Officer
USS Galileo

&

Lieutenant Teth Miir
Counselor
USS Galileo

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