Who counsels the counselor?

Posted on 18 Apr 2012 @ 4:03pm by Lieutenant JG Drusilla McCarthy & Tarishiana Barel
Edited on on 18 Apr 2012 @ 5:11pm

3,650 words; about a 18 minute read

Mission: Episode 01 - Project Sienna
Location: Counsellor's Quaters
Timeline: MD2 1200hours

ON:

Dru placed her head in her hands as she tried to push back the tears. Since Lilou had left, the young counsellor had been trying to occupy herself with paperwork to try keep herself focused but now it wasn't working. Her thoughts kept going back over the days that had passed since coming onboard the ship.

Dru walked over to the window of her office and watched the stars as they appeared as streaks of white lines. A tear feel down her cheek as she felt her last defense break. She still couldn't help but laugh at the irony of the statement Who will counsel the counsellor? In the time that she had been here she didn't seem to have made any friends. She had met a lot of people and consoled a lot of people but none of them seemed to see her as a friend, just someone to talk to because there was something on their mind or because they needed an evaluation, and she'd had a number of cases already where people viewed her from the get go as the enemy because she had the title of counselor.

Dru went over in her head the people she had seen, the encounters she had made. No one seemed to want to be her friend. Everyone saw her as a counsellor, someone to talk to or someone to hate because of a stigma of being a counselor. No one remembered to look beyond that and see she was a person, a normal human being. Dru started to feel that she had made a big mistake leaving the Gladiator, at least there she had had friends, here she only had Lirha but as Captain of this ship, Lirha had other priorities.

Tarishiana had been working in her office when an overwhelming sense of loneliness. She closed her eyes as she focused on the sensation. She may not have been a trained professional but she was a trained telepath. Tapping a few controls on her console she sent a message to Markum letting him know that she needed to push back their lunch date.

Pushing up from her chair she slowly made her way though deck four before determining it wasn't coming from any of her labs or sickbay. Boarding the lift she moved up one floor. Despite her formal training she only had an effective range of a deck or two so she knew she had to be close. When she disembarked it didn't take long for her to realize it was coming from the counselors office.

Tarishiana popped her head into the office and noted the empty desk. There weren't any patients waiting in the waiting room and as she moved closer to Lieutenant McCarthy's office the feeling got stronger. She didn't chime she simply opened the door and walked in. This way if the Lieutenant was with someone then she could blame it on not thinking. She was shocked to find the brunette along in her office. "Lieutenant...please stand up." Tarishiana said sweetly as she stood next to the desk waiting for Dru to move.

Dru looked up in surprise at the person speaking to her, and was slightly shocked to realise it was Tarishiana. Remembering the woman was betazoid, the young counsellor was suddenly glad she hadn't been stumbled across when she'd been crying. "Is everything alright Tarishiana?"

"Stand up." Tarishiana said with a grin. She motioned with her hand to rise from her seat. "Humor me Lieutenant." She gave her a smile.

Dru looked at the woman in front of her, wondering what on earth was going on. Deciding to humour her, Dru pushed herself up from her chair and stood there feeling slightly awkward, not sure what to do next.

Tarishiana moved in and wrapped her arms around the women's shoulders. She held her for a second before letting her go and holding her by the shoulders. "I know I don't know you very well yet...but you have people." She gave her another hug really quick before moving towards the replicator and ordering two cups of tea. She returned and easily set the tea in front of the McCarthy. "Now...spill." she said with a playful grin as she took a sip of her tea once she was seated.

Dru hadn't been ready for the hug Tarishiana had given and before she knew it she was fighting back the tears again. Once the young woman moved to the replicator, Dru did her best to try recompose herself, she was the counsellor of this ship, she needed to behave like she was one. Looking at the tea placed in front of her, Dru smiled back at Tarishana before shrugging her shoulders."You know how it is. You've got good days and bad days and I'm just having an off day. Nothing to be worried about. How about yourself? How did you end up at my door?"

"Oh no you don't." Tarishiana started with a shake of her head. "I could feel you all the way down in my office." Her tone was soft and supportive as she looked up at the Counselor. "Now you don't have to tell me what is wrong...but you do have to talk." She took a sip of her tea. "What is your favorite color?" She asked off the top of her head.

Dru couldn't help but smile again. She wondered if this was what she was like when she was counselling people. The smile suddenly waivered at the brief reminder that she was the counsellor at this table and she should be acting like one. A stab of pain suddenly we t through Dru as she realised someone was offering friendship but here she was blocking them, was she herself the real reason that she had no friends. Dru leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table and head in her hands. She was so confused right now. Softly she whispered, "Navy blue."

"Ah blue." Tarishiana said with a amusement as she took a sip of her tea. "The color of honor, trust, professionalism, and loyalty. Good choice." She watched the other women as she sat with her head in her hands. She couldn't help but feel for the poor counselor. It wasn't hard to theorize that Dru needed to talk and by the emotions she was emitting she didn't think she had anyone to talk to. "Does blue make you happy? or do you just think it is pretty?"

Dru couldn't help but smile at the irony of this situation, sitting here discussing colours...anyone would think them mad."Abit of both I guess. When I wear clothes it sets off the colour of my hair but it also has a calming influence on me. When I wear it I feel empowered, almost....pretty."

"Good...when we finally get to go out for drinks I have the perfect dress for you to borrow." Tarishiana gave her a grin before she continued. "Purple is my favorite color personally...granted it doesn't flatter my coloring." She shook her head. "What do you do for fun?...I am going to keep asking you questions until you realize that you have two choices...become my friend willing...or out of pure determination." She ended with a chuckle.

Dru pushed her hands harder against her head, trying to push back her emotions and allow Tarishiana room to come in. She felt she had no friends, this was her opportunity now to rectify this. Tarishiana had even put it in plain English that the outcome here was going to be them becoming friend."I can't imagine a colour not suiting you, your the kind of woman who commands attention no matter the situation they are in."

"Command attention yes." Tarishiana started. "But that has nothing to do with my outfit choice." she grinned, "I was raised as a socialite...what you call an ability to command attention is really just a practiced use of training." She laughed. She paused for a moment before reaching forward to place a hand on Dru's shoulder. "Dru...it is easier if you let it out then if you try to pretend it doesn't exist." her tone was soft as she tried to coax the women to talk without promoting.

Dru shook her head. She didn't know how to let it out. She was a person there to listen, it was her job. When it came to talking herself she struggled with it, didn't know how to,despite how much she might feel inside that she needed to. "Things are never as easy as that, as much as I wish it really was."

"What is the thing my teacher used to tell me?" Tarishiana thought about it for a moment, "Things are only as hard as we cling onto the the preconceived notions of their challenge." She looked over at the Lieutenant sitting across from her. "Just give it a try."

Dru wrapped her hands around the cup in front of her and knew that what Tarishiana was saying was right, but she still couldn't get the words out. Deciding to at least give it a try, Dru whispered the simplest of things, "Have you ever felt so alone in this world that you have no one to turn to when you really need to?"

"Yes," Tarishiana said simply as she set her cup down on the desk. Leaning across the flat surface slightly she cupped her hand over the top of Dru's. "You are not alone Dru...even though we just met you have me...no matter what I will be here for you if you need me too be." She gave a reassuring smile as she waited for Dru to respond.

Without looking up, Dru went over what the woman was offering but it confused her. Outside of encounters in work, which didn't last long, this woman barely knew her."Why? You don't know me?" Dru whispered, her voice betraying her confusion.

"I am a Betazoid." Tarishiana replied as if that alone answered the question. "We know everyone." She add with a laugh. "I also know your chosen profession. You spend your days wanting and trying to help people who don't even know or understand that they need help....If figure that is a good quality of people for me to count as friends."

Dru couldn't help but smile slightly, the irony behind that statement which caused a stab of pain. "So if I wasn't a counsellor you wouldn't want to be my friend?"

Tarishiana rolled her eyes, "You job doesn't make you who you are...it shows what kind of person you are." She took a sip of her tea. "So yes...I would still want to be your friend...even if you were a trained assassin...as long as you weren't coming after me that is." She grinned.

Dru laughed a little but still felt confused. She knew who she was made her a good counsellor, was it her fault than that people didn't look beyond her being a counsellor and see she was a person? Tarishiana seemed to be trying but Dru was still confused. Picking up on the joke, Dru focused on that,"If I was a trained assassin surely Id be in security or intelligence then?"

"No see that would be too obvious." Tarishiana stated with a laugh. "You are too smart for that...No one would expect the well mannered and sweet counselor." She grinned. "Look I know you think it is impossible for me to see you as someone other then the counselor...but the simply fact is that you have never been my counselor...so I see you as the women who has been eager to help out my science department when we needed it...That scores you some major points in my book."

Dru found herself laughing more while trying to figure out if it was a compliment. As she listened to Tarishiana more, the young counsellor suddenly realised something. Looking up she smiled softly, "Miss. Barel...are you reading my thoughts or am I just far too easily read?" Dru said the words in a joking manner. As a counsellor herself, her job was to read people. She had come to realise Tarishiana was a kind hearted person who meant no harm, she only wanted to help.

"Its Tarish." She started quickly, "And since you won't talk a Betazoid has to use what the gods gave her." she shot Dru a wink. "I warned you one way or another you would talk to me." She gave her a satisfied look as she took another sip from her cup emptying it completely of its contents.

"So what else have you picked up from my thoughts Tarish?" Dru sat back in her seat finally feeling at ease, maybe it was because she hadn't had to talk, but it was all now out in the open.

"Let's see...you feel alone." Tarishiana started with the obvious. "You think that no one sees you as a person only a counselor. Which I know we already covered." She tapped the side of her cup. "You have a thing for the Captain that you don't want anyone to know about...but I have intention of invading past that on that topic...You feel that you have at least helped some members of the crew such as Mr. Quinn." She grinned at the mention of Markum's name. "That is all that I have gleaned so far."

Dru sat back and listened to Tarishiana. It was weird being analyses by someone else when she was the one used to being the one who did the analysing. Trying to figure out where to go from here Dru figured shed nothing to loose by opening up. "Ok so....what do you feel I need to talk about?"

"I would start with why you feel so isolated." Tarishiana began honestly. "As much as forming new relationships are important and all." She paused for a moment. "You should start with why you feel no one sees you as more the ships counselor."

Dru realised she needed to be careful here. She did not want to reveal the information people had confided in her or the people she had spoken it. Choosing her thoughts and words careful, Dru leaned her elbows on the table and rested her head in the palm of her hands."Day in, day out people come through that door like the revolving door that it is, that it has to be so I can support people when they need it but when they leave through those doors I cease to exist. If I happen to meet them outside of the confines of this place they'll always stop and say hello but usually it ends in them telling me about something more they wish to discuss with a counsellor."

Taking a deep breath, Dru paused for a few moments. "Never have I stepped outside of that door and ran into a person who just wants to share a joke, or have a laugh, do something of enjoyment into which their issues and needing advise won't eventually creep in. People see me as the ship's counsellor no matter where I am, what I am doing or how I as a person am. I've been a week on board this ship and never just unwound or relaxed with other people. I tried it once but it ended in a counselling session. Even though the person needed it, it still hurt." Looking up at Tarishiana, the counsellor looks into her eyes,"Could you imagine having to be a science officer 24/7 even in your personal life? Going out with friends and they ask you science questions and refuse to talk about anything else?"

"As a science officer no." Tarishiana started with a bit more understanding then she was letting on with her choice of words. "But as a Betazoid I understand completely. Can you imagine how annoying it is that with every person you meet...as soon as they find out you are a telepath they begin reciting pop goes the weasel in there head." She let out an almost frustrated sigh as the song once again popped into her head. "Most of the people I meet assume that since I can I will and Starfleet has taken it upon themselves to teach them a defense against it....It doesn't mask your thoughts as much as it get stuck in my head and I spend the rest of the day humming it."

She took a breath for a moment. Tarishiana looked over Dru for a second, "I am not saying they are the same...but I do understand your frustration. I am gathering you like being referred to as a Counselor as much as I enjoy everyone assuming I will read their thoughts."

Dru slowly nodded her head. "But it's more then that. It like the song played to you, people do it as the assume you are someone your name, or race, indicates you to be. People hear the word counsellor and assume that to mean I'm not a human being like them with my own emotions, my own life in which I need friends."

"You are going to have to force people to see you as something other then a counselor." Tarishiana decided she was going to go down a dangerous road but it was the most effective path she could see. "You want friends outside of your duty hours so you much leave your duty at home. If a subject comes up while you are spending time together tell them that they should schedule an appointment. If you never talk shop outside of the office or when you are off duty...Trust me, people will begin to see you as more then just a counselor."

Dru sat back in her chair and folded one arm across her chest, linking her hand under her elbow, "That's easier said then done when the personality I am is what makes me a good counsellor . How do I make friends if they can't see the real me because I have to remove the element which overlaps with my job?"

"You have a choice Dru." Tarishiana said it with a slightly sterner tone then she had been using at this point. "You can either allow people to only see you as a counselor or you can try to change their perceptions...But once you make your decision you have to deal with the consequences."

Looking at the woman infront of her, Dru tried to analyse how she felt about that statement, suddenly feeling slightly defensive. "When have I ever not dealt with the consequences?Yes they upset up but I'm a human being, of course I'm going to be upset. But it's not as if I'm threatening to give up my job, or jump ship or something."

Tarishiana couldn't help but laugh a little at the girls declaration. Holding up her hand and shaking her head, "I am sorry Dru...But you are a contradiction." she began, "You want to be the counselor but not be seen as a counselor." She calmed herself slightly, "You want the way that people look at your to change but you don't want to make the decision to change it." She reached over and touched Dru's hand, "What would you say to someone you were helping if they were in your situation?"

Dru wasn't sure. If she knew the answer to that she would have all of the answers to try work on. Pinching the bridge of her nose, as she started to feel a headache starting again, "I don't know what I'd say....try to find yourself before you do anything else as until you know who you are, are unable to do your job to the best of your abilities?"

"Personally I think you are incredible at your job." Tarishiana started, "But I think that first part might be able to help you." She grinned. "I think everyone can use a little soul searching. If I were the counselor then I would prescribe three night of random fun....If you can't find any come find me and we will do something." She hoped Dru would take her up on the offer.

Dru thought it over for a bit wondering if maybe that might not be such a bad idea."Ok. I'll give it a try on one conditions, you spend one of the night's with me, leaving me just the other two to fill."

"Deal.." Tarishiana said as she extended her hand in a very human-like fashion. She thought for a second with a grin on her lips as she thought over what they could do. "I have dinner with Commander Remmington tonight....but I will think of something fun to do tomorrow night...perhaps Commander Saalm would like to join us?" She grinned.

Dru laughed and felt a rush of joy for the first time at the thought of Lirha."I'll ask, the worst she can say is no. But it's on one condition, you bring someone as well."

"I am sure I can arrange that." Tarishiana grinned. She wasn't sure how Markum would feel about the idea but she was certain that she could convince him to join her. "Well, I should get out of your hair." She grinned as she rose from her seat. "But keep in mind doctor's orders" She added playfully.

Dru stood to see Tarishiana out."Thank you for coming to see me Tarish....it really meant alot."

"Any time Dru." She started with a grin. "Next time you are feeling down...call me." Tarishiana gave her wink before exiting her office.

OFF:

Lieutenant JG Dru McCarthy
Chief Counselor
USS Galileo

MWO Tarishiana Barel
Chief Science OFficer
USS Galileo

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