Look On Up At The Bridge

Posted on 28 Feb 2016 @ 12:28am by Commander Andreus Kohl

955 words; about a 5 minute read

Circa the Exeter Symposium MDs during Season 2, Episode 5, “Symposium”


[ON]

Andreus Kohl’s Personal Log:

I’m back. I’m home now. I returned to Galileo last night. Technically, I’m still on shore leave. I stepped into my quarters and I thought about how I should probably unpack my luggage. I know —I already know— if I don’t unpack my luggage immediately, it will sit in a corner of my quarters until id develops an odour. I know I should unpack it, but-- but-- I didn’t want to. My quarters still feel like a prison cell. Sitting in my quarters feels like being a prisoner of the Terran Empire again. So, instead, I went to the bridge. I took over my gamma shift bridge watch, even if the ship sits sleeping.

I’m back, but I almost didn’t come back. I can’t say I ever considered leaving the ship. I never sat down and thought about moving out of my quarters, or thought about resigning my post aboard Galileo. I never wanted to leave the ship, but I thought about not coming back. There were the rumours, you see. Rumours that I was leaving. Between the delayed arrival of my orders from Starfleet Command, and the broken-telephone cascading of the news to the science department, most every scientist aboard ship —and even Lieutenant Wilhelm!— came to understand I was leaving. I had been removed from my posting as Chief Science Officer and some thought that was the end of the story. I couldn’t help thinking-- To myself, I couldn’t help thinking what if? What if that was the end of my story?

Living on Earth again, it reminded me how much I love that planet. When I’m away from it, my recollection for it fades. I think Earth is fine and I think Earth is nice but it’s never been a planet I’ve been burning to visit. But when I’m there again, it invigorates me. I can’t see enough of it. While I was attending Command School at the Academy, I thought maybe I should stay there. I thought maybe I should learn a new specialty. Advanced Tactical Training might be fun. Rear Admiral Saalm keeps telling me I have a Klingon command style. Maybe I should explore that side of myself? They say Argelians developed a pacifist society specifically because our bodies are bred for war.

And then I made it back to Argelius. I made it back to the soil from which I was raised. After Command School, and after the travel time by transport ship, I could only stay for a handful of days, but I made it home. I needed to be back home. I blamed my mother for calling on me, but I needed to be back home. I spoke with my mom, Imogen, and we had a good talk about why we haven’t been talking lately. I met with my mother, Hamidah, and she has expectations of me. I have responsibilities to her temple, I’m told. I could have stayed with the temple, mayhap. Maybe I wouldn’t come back to Galileo?

But, no, I only have responsibilities to the temple. The temple has no need of my physical form. I could take my responsibilities back with me.

It would have been foolish to leave Galileo. Not now. Not when they’ve given me such a magical opportunity. I have been named the ship’s dedicated Second Officer. While there is plenty of precedent for a posting such as this, it isn’t exactly the norm. From what I understand, this opportunity has been provided to fulfill my own development needs as much as it’s been provided to fill the crew’s need. As part of the NIMBUS war-games, I was identified as an emerging leader. I had been assigned to the USS Nautilus as its first officer. It was meant to be learning through observations. I was just supposed to be studying the Captain, but circumstance kicked and tripped me into the Captain’s chair for myself. ….And …and I didn’t make a hash of it. I faced off against the Klingons and I kept my crew alive. I kept my ship in once piece. …Crippled, but in one piece.

I’ve been identified as an emerging leader. As a Starship Captain of Tomorrow. I can’t-- I still can’t quite wrap my head around that. Not yet. I can’t picture it. I don’t know who Captain Kohl is going to be. And I guess that’s okay, for now. The current theory in Starfleet organizational development is that I should start to learn how to be a Starship Captain now, while I’m still in a relatively junior command position, while I still have the safety net of commanding officers. Rather than leap from leading one department to leading a starship, I get to learn from a position in-between. Rather than learning on the job during my first command, I’m meant to develop relevant experiences now, so when I take my own command, I can hit the ground running. It’s— it’s an honour. A true honour. I think it would terrify me more if I wasn’t tucked away on the night watch, assigned to gamma shift. I feel like I can learn my craft without the spotlight on me. I can learn. I will learn.

…How could I possibly walk away from that?


[OFF]

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