Mirage

Posted on 29 Dec 2021 @ 9:37pm by Petty Officer 1st Class Gabriel Stark

484 words; about a 2 minute read

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"So, let's be honest, scientific stations aren't exactly listed in the 'best shore leave spots' guide," Gabriel Stark sighed as he sat back, stretching in his chair with a soft groan.

"I don't know what I expected. Maybe it was three months of working, eating, sleeping, rinse, repeat. Maybe it tricked me into thinking this place was going to be more than it is. Like a mirage in a desert. Crawling on my hands and knees through the sands of work to get to the beautiful oasis full of alcohol and nightspots."

He was chuckling as he spoke though, no real annoyance in it. But he really should have known better.

Gabriel sipped the rum before sliding it down on the table with a half groan, turning in his chair to cross both legs over one arm of the chair, stretching an arm over his head. "What I wouldn't give for a real club...dark, murky, flashing lights, throbbing music. Not enough space to move without feeling flesh against flesh..."

He gave a longing sigh at the thought of it, covering his eyes as he lost himself to the memory. "Other ships get the pleasure planets and tourist heavy stations, why have we got the one with more test tubes than shot glasses?"

He reached for the rum with a small smile, knocking the last of it back before looking to the screen recording his log. "I mean, it's not been a complete waste of time. I've had the chance to spend more time with Constantin. That makes every minute of dull bars worth it.

"I don't know, I just...he's not like anyone else. Quite literally," he chuckled as he looked down to his hands, his thumb and finger nails flicking against each other. "I guess it just scares me too. I don't want to spoil it. I always spoil it. There's a reason I only do one night stands. What if he runs, if we cross the line from friendship to more? Then I'd lose everything with him."

Gabriel laughed weakly at himself, but it turned into something of a groan as he rubbed his face. "It's ridiculous that I'd rather face down a valley full of marauding thugs with nothing but a Type 1 phaser than risk an actual relationship. And how do I admit that to Constantin without scaring him off?"

He was silent for a long moment, too long a moment, but he wasn't comfortable facing that part of himself. He finally straightened up, shaking his head with a frown he didn't realise was there. "Enough," he said firmly, running a hand through his dark hair to neaten it up. "Talking to a computer about it isn't going to fix it. Time to tart myself up and look ridiculously over dressed for the much too civilised bar...and to think of a way to run into Constantin again..."

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