One Stepped Out of the Cuckoo's Nest pt2

Posted on 10 Jan 2013 @ 1:37am by Lieutenant Commander Pola Ni Dhuinn M.D. & Ensign Jessica Wilson M.D.

4,614 words; about a 23 minute read

Mission: Episode 02 - Resupply
Location: USS Galileo: Deck 4, Medical
Timeline: MD 15 1547 hours

[ON]

"Thank you, Doctor," Jeremy said, trying to get his breathing settled to help settle everything else. "Where do you want me?" He only hoped Dr. Dhuinn would keep that insufferable child away from him at this point.

Jessica noted the glare and glared defiantly back. She wasn't about to apologize for any of this. The actions here had ultimately been proven correct by the very fact that this entire situation had spiraled so ridiculously out of control, at the end of the day the Lieutenant had never been going to get any drugs, if she had noticed it then it stood to reason that Doctor Dhuinn certainly have done as well. If she was being truthful Jessica was shocked that the Lieutenant was even getting any medication, he was unstable and violent and deserved nothing better than to be thrown in the brig for what he had just done.

And she intended to make sure that something like this wasn't allowed to slide.

This was not the way that Starfleet Officers were supposed to act, Jessica had a very specific idea of the way that Starfleet Officers were supposed to act and behave and it held them to a high standard, her first experience with Starfleet had been the doctor who had ultimately inspired her for a career in medicine. This Lieutenant had, in the space of five minutes, utterly destroyed that image of Starfleet irrecoverably and regardless of whatever happened next Jessica would never look at any Starfleet Officer the same way again, a sad loss of innocence perhaps or simply a realization of the way things were, but also she knew that this Lieutenant would never gain her respect, sure if he stayed on duty she would respect his rank and follow legal orders, but as a person...no. He was unstable and aggressive, but it wasn't those that condemned him in her eyes, not for that it was the sheer pettiness that he had comported himself with, one that she looked upon with barely disguised contempt, hell if he was even still capable of being a security officer he would probably see it in her expression.

Jessica shook her head, if she had been in charge here she would of confined him to the bring, relieved of duty, until he could be transferred to a psychiatric facility for full assessment, but she wasn't so all she could do was get on with her work. Squaring her shoulders she stepped back out into the main part of sickbay, pointedly ignoring the disgrace to the uniform still being treated by Doctor Dhuinn and moved over to the forgotten other victim of this whole mess, the young crewman who's medical Jessica had been performing before being called over. The poor lad looked as if he had just faced down a squad of Jem'Hadar and was staring at the Security Officer in horror.

Jessica gently placed a hand on his arm and the young man, hell at nineteen he was younger than she was, jerked in surprise from the touch but after he realized who it was and looked down at the hand he appreciated her comforting touch.

"Alright, Crewman, let's get this medical finished," Jessica said quietly to the young man. "I'd imagine you want to be out of here just as much as me."

"Yes Ma'am," The Crewman, actually only a Crewman Apprentice, nodded sagely. "You could say that."

"Good thing we were nearly finished then," Jessica commented. "Don't you worry Crewman, we'll be alright."

As she watched Jessica leave both herself and Jeremy alone, Pola could feel the headache building behind her temples. Turning to face the officer, she held out her hand in a token gesture of a peace offering. "Ok...lets get your hand repaired and we are going to talk Jeremy. Once we've done both, Ill amend the log to restore you back to duty."

Jeremy watched a spot just over her shoulder, starting to become aware of just how badly this was going for him. It should have been a simple thing! SIMPLE! He came in for medication that prevented incidents like this! He should have been in and out. Now...

His gaze shifted to the floor. Now there would be more talk about him being crazy, out of control. Unstable.

He glanced at the door, wanting to flee and forget about all of this. But...

He made a deal, a 'bargain', with the doctor and she was willing to fulfill all parts of hers. "Thank you, Doctor," he said, still staring at the floor, his hands behind his back. "I have agreed to your bargain, Doctor," he said, trying to be flat and emotionless, but he was roiling inside. He was...crumbling on the edge. "Repair my hand?" he looked at his hands, puzzled, wondering...when the hell did his hand get hurt? "Talk and medication. Restore to duty. I remain in sickbay until you determine the deal has been faithfully concluded."

He still stared at the floor. "Can I, please," he shook his head, knowing that he'd sound like Wilson was right, that he was just seeking drugs but...it was necessary. "I believe, in my records, a prescription for a...sedative? A mild, low dosage anxiety med?" He sounded unsure. But there had been one, at one time, wasn't there? "I'm," he hated admitting this, "unstable right now. On the edge and I don't want to be. I don't want to be like this!" He took a step back, covering his face with his bad hand. "I don't want drugs, Doctor. But...never mind, no. I don't want it to be still considered that I'm an addict seeking drugs. I'll manage. I'll..." He squeezed his hand. "I'll manage."

Resting her hand over the fist which Jeremy kept making, realising that that the man would be causing himself pain. "Jeremy...We'll will get the initial dosage into you and then we will send you home with more." Looking into his eyes, Pola hesitated a moment more before moving to the replicator, bringing up the officer's file before replicating 5 cc's of improvoline and moving back to his side. Holding out the hypo with the handle towards the man, she offered to allow him to administer it.

Jeremy closed his eyes and sighed, conflicted now. He was still frustrated and angry but also grateful and sorrow that she was being so...considerate. He took the hypospray and considered it, casting a glance at Wilson. She obviously thought he was just an addict looking for a 'fix' but...the medication wasn't narcotic. It wasn't a 'fix'. It was...necessary. He finally sighed as he pressed the hypospray against his neck and administered the medication. He knew from previous experience that it would take some time to take full effect but he also experienced a placebo effect that helped to calm him slightly, just knowing that the medication was going to tamp him down. He handed back the hypospray, muttering a thanks.

As she took back the hypo, Pola looked Jeremy straight in the eye. "So...What happened?"

He stared at her for several seconds before looking away. "What happened? Doctor, you were here. You saw what happened. I don't understand what you're asking?"

"Something like that doesn't happen without a reason Jeremy. I'm no counsellor but I saw enough to see that your dependant on a medication to control a side of you which could endanger the crew...the only is reason for me to be worried." Pola watched him for a moment more before moving away to gather the supplies she needed to repair his hand.

He wished the medication would take effect sooner. "I'm not a danger. I've worked on controlling it more and more without medication. But this ship...this place...it's been exceeding my limits." He spoke softly, slowly. "I've got a condition," he said and then quickly added, "That's not an excuse, I know. I have to deal with it. But I've ran out of meds before shipping out here and thought that I was okay...but..." He heard the words Cardassian sympathizer in Kiwoski's snide, frat boy voice again. "But...I began to lose that control. And so much stress and triggers all at once. I'm not unstable," he spat toward Wilson, "and don't appreciate being 'diagnosed' after five seconds as having drug seeking behaviour. I'm not seeking drugs, Doctor, I don't want them! I don't. I want to be normal!"

He sighed, drawing it back in. "I'm in counseling, or supposed to be but Mulgrew yelled at me...or was it McFarlan? McFarlen yelled at me for Mulgrew. And the counselors on this ship are so busy, they haven't returned my requests. I'm trying, Doctor. It doesn't help that I made a mistake and now have to be called a Cardassian sympathizer because of it." He closed his eyes and shook his head. Just saying the words out loud threatened to throw him back into that state. He looked at the doctor, hoping he was explaining himself, hoping that he was convincing her that he wasn't a danger. "I've gotten better, Doctor. Three years ago, I would have shot you and everybody else in here for trapping me in here. Two years ago, it wouldn't have been a threat. Last year I may not have even asked. I'm getting better."

Pola had dragged over the equipment table she needed, being careful not to touch Jeremy unless he knew what was happened. Both still standing, she carefully took his hand as she ran a tricorder across the bones, trying to establish the damage he'd done. "Ok...I'll have a word with our Chief Counsellor, or even our executive officer. I know everyone is busy right now but that's no excuse for not finding a way to fit in an appointment for you."

Internally breathing a sigh of relief, Pola found that the damage which Jeremy had inflicted was substantially less then what Cyrus had done to himself. There was a fracture across the knuckle of his middle finger and the rest was just surface damage. "Meanwhile talk to me Jeremy. I'm here now and I'm willing to listen. Believe it or not, I care." Pola had looked up at Jeremy as she said the final words, sincerity shining in her eyes.

"Please don't tell the Commander," he whispered. "He hates me enough. I'll...he'll...I'll ask for a transfer if you want, but..." he sighed, knowing what he was asking was impossible. Holliday had to be informed. A report had to be generated. A member of the crew - of the senior staff - had been threatened. "I'll tell the Commander," he said, looking at his hand while she worked on it. "I give you my word, I'll inform the admin about what happened here and let them deal with it. I just...we all thought I was ready. But I'm not."

As her hand stalled in it evaluation of Jeremy's hand, Pola glanced back up to him in surprise. "Jeremy...what happened here was just a test as far as you, I and Jessica are concerned. The only issue I will raise with the Commander is my concern over the availability to counselling to our crew. Now more than ever, people who were present in our last mission needs them. You being unable to secure an appointment is a concern."

"Maybe that's why?" he asked. "So many people with needs. If they get to them now, then nobody has to go through what I go through. That's important! More important maybe. I'm broken, Doctor, and can't ever be fixed. But if we can keep other people from getting this way, then we're all better served." He shook his head. "When things calm down then our resources can go where they're needed. But...Doctor, other people need it. I'm...I'm used to what I am. I can get by on medication and..." avoiding people he wanted to finish but knew that would be the wrong thing to say. He shrugged. "I've had some peer counseling training. I know that stopping this now prevents bigger problems later."

Though, he doubted that Jessica felt this was just a test.

"It doesn't matter how many people have a need. This ship has two counsellors and a number of counsellors from the colony helping out. They also know that they can call on myself to help out. They should at least have given you an appointment, even if it is a day or two later." Grabbing an osteo regenetor, Pola started to heal the fracture within the knuckle. "No one person is more important than the other, Jeremy."

"Yes, they are," he said, swallowing hard as he looked at the floor. He didn't finish what he was saying, because it had been misunderstood before and he...he couldn't be locked up right now. He wasn't capable of handling it. He knew that. But if he finished what he said, then she would have a duty - hell, he'd have a duty - to follow it and he didn't want to go there.

"I'm sorry," he said instead. "I never wanted to bring all of this..." he tried to gesture with his other hand. "I don't want to scare people or bring violence where it's not needed. I'm sorry. I'll stay out of Medical."

"No you wont..." Finishing up with the osteoregenerator, Pola looked up with a very soft smile. "You can apologise to my Ensign Jessica for the insults you have thrown her way. Outside of that, you're always welcome here."

He scowled, wondering if she were joking. "She's not a very good doctor," he said, having some experience with doctors of all kinds. "Her bedside manner is better suited for security. Or the Marines. I will not accept that as a condition of our original bargain."

"Hum..." Biting her cheek to hide the smile, Pola used her tricorder to survey the repair before attempting to move the treatment further. "And tell me Jeremy. What were you like when you just got out of the academy?"

"I don't know," he said as he stared at the floor. "I don't remember any of that life." He stopped, stilling as his brows knit together. "That wasn't your point, was it?" He seemed to slump. "You mean she just came from med school? She's an..." he thought hard, not being able to get to his PADD at the moment. "Interred?"

That caused a soft laugh to escape as Pola traded the tricorder for a dermal regenerator. "Intern I believe is the word you are looking for. I bet when you first left the academy, it upset you each time it was pointed out to you the things you had done wrong or people accused you of doing something wrong due to a personal opinion which may not be right. I know it did me."

He scowled. "If I was anything then like I am now, I would have gotten very upset and frustrated over it. I am told that I'm something of an anal retentive perfectionist, highly regimented and scheduled." He slumped again. "I'm oh for two on getting the point aren't I?" he asked. His scowl went deeper. "She was insulting, Doctor! She just blurted out that I was unstable, looked at me like I was just an addict!" He didn't want the doctor to be right that she made a rookie mistake and he had...more than overreacted. It was that he was the one that caused the problem.

Shrugging her left shoulder, Pola kept her right hand steady as she watched the skin of the knuckle knit back together. "You both did things wrong. Despite your intent, you came in here with your mind centred on one thing and forgetting about the context of the rest. You're right, she shouldn't have lost her temper as she did but at the same time, you should have been mindful that a brand new Doctor who doesn't know you, needs to see you first before prescribing you anything."

"I'm already prescribed!" he said, missing the whine in his voice. Missing, also, that he was proving Pola's point regarding reactions when being told he was wrong. "I'm not looking for new meds. That would have been different. I've already got a prescription. I have no other business in Medical other than that. All the..." he stopped before uttering insufferable child, "All she had to do was look in my records and see that they prescriptions are current. I didn't start this problem!" He twitched, wanting to step away.

Otherside of Sickbay

Jessica managed to keep her expression carefully neutral as she continued her physical of the young crewman, but the knuckles of the hand holding the PADD were white as she gripped it hard, she couldn't help but overhear the conversation, her hearing had always been good. She had never been so angry in her life. What right did this unstable, drug addict and disgrace to his uniform have to be questioning her professionalism? She had done exactly what she ahd been trained to do, she had raised her concerns as soon as she had them and made movements to check past history and perform a more in-depth assessment of the patient, instead she had been subjected to insults, threats of violence and arrest and that was all before the bastard had drawn his weapon. Hell what did this idiotic man know about doctors, she had been complimented at the Medical Academy on her bedside manner. Of course it didn't help that the CMO was pandering to this man, who clearly had some mental issues that needed more than the medical and counselling department of a ship as small as the Galileo.

And of course there was the whole matter that he had threatened her with arrest had she checked his records, for pity's sake. Jessica didn't care that he wasn't going to apologise to her, she wouldn't have accepted it anyway, but she couldn't help but mentally smile at the pettiness the man was showing, once again indicating that he was totally deserving of the contempt she felt for him.

She shook her head and looked back at the crewman who was watching her carefully, right now her main concern was him, he had no doubt already been upset enough by this whole mess, he didn't need any more difficulties.

Back to Middle of Sickbay

"Jeremy...if you had a man land on your doorstep to make a complaint whom previously had a record against him, would you immedigately dismiss him as being someone not to be taken seriously, infact perhaps the complaint should be reversed and him thrown in the brig or...Would you hear him out, make your own judgement on his character and on if he deserved a chance to be heard out?" Still keeping a hold of his hand, it was taken Pola time to repair the ripped flesh. "We are your Doctors. It's our jobs to get to know you, to update your file. That is why every time a person transfers, they require a new medical. She was just trying to do her job."

"My job, Doctor, is to be fair to everyone until they prove otherwise. I'm not the judge or the jury. I investigate to determine fact. I certainly don't declare to everyone else that this...hypothetical...man has a record and should not be trusted. Criminals are often the victim of crime themselves. It's part of their pathology." He scowled as he stared at the floor, finding the polish on his boots very ineffective. "I'm missing the point again aren't I? You're saying I should hear him out despite how I feel. Doctor, I don't understand a lot of social things anymore. Just tell me, am I wrong here? Did I injure her." He closed his eyes and sighed. "Is this a case where I need to apologize even if I don't understand why?"

"Yes she owes you as much of an apology as you do her but you gave her reason for possible distrust. You were argumentative, pushy and demanding that you had your own way. Both you and Jessica have lessons to learn here but the first lesson is learning when to say sorry." As the final piece of skin closed over, Pola pulled the equipment away. "Now...can you make a fist for me?"

He flexed his hand into a fist absently, looking across the room at the child. If she were just an intern then...he hated interns! They were always like this. Always causing problems and saying things that didn't need to be said and cautiously retracing every step of a route he'd already gone on years before. Yet, somehow, he kept getting them because...other doctors stopped taking him. He scowled at Pola. "You care for Chief Kiwoski?" he asked. "Not just a...vacation thing. But, you care for him?"

Running her tricorder across Jeremy's hand, Pola kept an eye on the readout of the neuroreceptors, ensuring that the man was in no pain. She recognised his complete change of subject but let it slide. Both him and Jessica would have to learn how to work alongside of eachother, overtime they would have to reach a middle group.

A smile moved across her lips at the mention of Cyrus. "Well I find he's handy to have around, all those tasks you need a man for." Flipping her tricorder closed, she watched Jeremy closely. "But yes...I care about Cyrus, quite alot." The statement was simplistic but there was no hiding the emotion behind it.

Jeremy made a note of her answer. "He's my responsibility again and...relationships between officers and enlisted tend to get complicated. But, I believe he'll be wishing he were someone else if he upsets you." He decided then he'll give the Fraternization waiver based on the idea that Pola would make sure his body was never found. "I'm not good at apologies," he muttered.

"The details of making the relationship work fall to me and Cyrus, not anybody else. It's not something that people like to see, enlisted and officer together, but it's not uncommon." Watching Him closely, Pola choose her next words carefully. "Noone is ever good at saying sorry, in some small way it's an admittance of defeat which people don't wish to recognise. But...in some cases it needs to be done." Moving her hand, she squeezed's Jeremy forehead gently. "Apologising shows though how you are a good man beneath it all."

"I don't care about your ranks, Doctor," he said scowling. "It a regulation that needs to be followed. Fortunately there's a waiver. I'll grant it to..." he stopped, he hated even saying the man's name because it reminded him of what he did...what he said. "But I'll grant it because I don't believe the relationship between the two of you will cause problems." He shifted. "She wouldn't accept one anyway, but, I have to accept that others understand these things more than I and...I'm usually wrong."

Shrugging her shoulders, Pola continued to watch and observe Jeremy and his behaviours. "That's her choice to make. She made mistakes here herself which she needs to learn from. You've made mistakes and your showing that your willing to learn from them. This is the circle of life we all must go through."

He scowled, but nodded. He took a quick glance at her and realized from her body language and posture, and the way she'd been looking at him, she hated him and anything he did would just fall flat. But...if the Doctor were right and his actions caused problems, then he had to accept that. "Okay," he said, "I apologize to her for...being an ass."

Finally letting go of his hand, Pola tugged over a PADD as she updated his notes, readjusting the file to place him back on duty. "Ok...don't make me regret this Jeremy. You're to follow up with one of our counsellors within 72 hours or I will remove you from duty again. I will have a word with one of them to ensure you are scheduled in, no questions asked. None of this will go beyond here and I trust that Jessica win't spread it around. But cross me Jeremy and I will bring this to the Commander."

"Yes, sir," he said as he flexed his hand, staring at the repaired hand. "I've been trying and will keep trying." He frowned as he looked around the room. "Is that it? Is our bargain concluded now?"

Pressing her thumb again the PADD, Pola then held it out for Jeremy to check and sign off on. "Somewhat. You've managed to avoid truly talking about what caused this incident to happen but for the moment I'm satisfied that you're back in control and will get yourself the proper help which you need."

Jeremy scowled at the PADD as he sighed. To tell her what had happened, to give her all the details, would be to poison her romantic partner, to discuss how he was the type of person who would make fun of a person's traumatic past in order to try to win an argument. The type of person who proclaimed that Jeremy enjoyed his time as a captive and being tortured. Perhaps earlier he might not have hesitated to say such things, considering what was going on. But...

"Thank you, Doctor," he said frowning as he determined to skip revealing information that may damage Kiwosk in her opinion, or cause her to think he was saying things to poison their relationship. "I've been under a lot of pressure and...it all collapsed by a few things that were said today. Without my medication to help, it all became too much too soon."

Frowning for a moment at his words, Pola placed her hand against Jeremy's arm for a moment. "Jeremy...don't let things build up like that. If ever you need someone to talk to, and noone else is available, my door is always open. If you worry I'll talk to others, I'm bound by patient Doctor confidentiality so you can trust me."

"Thank you, Doctor," he said, placing his hands behind his back, waiting for a dismissal. "I'll try to remember that." He glanced around Medical, wanting to leave and go back to his quarters where it was...safer...at the moment.

Watching Jeremy for a moment more, Pola finally removed her hand from his arm and indicated her agreement that he could leave with a tilt of her head towards the door. "Any issues with the fist or any pain, call me immediately Lieutenant."

"Yes, Doctor," he said, seriously. It had the ring of an medical directive - or in his parlance order - to it. He waited a moment before turning on his heel and walking to the door. For a moment he hesitated just before it, sure it wouldn't open, sure she had lied to him this entire time and he was still trapped in this room. Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward, watching the doors slide effortlessly open. He left the room in what could be described as a rushed walk.

[OFF]

Lt. Pola Ni Dhuinn, MD
Chief Medical Officer
USS Galileo

Ltjg Jeremy Stone
Chief Security/Tactical Officer
USS Galileo

Ensign Jessica Wilson, MD
Medical officer
USS Galileo

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