Meeting the Counsellor

Posted on 25 Feb 2013 @ 5:54am by Lieutenant JG Delainey Carlisle
Edited on on 25 Feb 2013 @ 5:55am

2,253 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: Episode 03 - Frontier
Location: USS Galileo - Deck 4, Counsellor's Office
Timeline: MD -02, 1200 hours

[ON]

Feeling tired, Maenad was wandering through the rows of neatly-piled cargo stacks in cargo bay two. In one hand was a PADD displaying an inventory of all science-related equipment and in the other was a stylus, which she had unconsciously tangled between her fingers. Hours ago, somebody in operations had informed her that all her requisitioned equipment had arrived. Shortly after, a crewman from her department had confirmed that, sending her an inventory.

Still, Maenad wanted to see for herself; several hours later, after the shifts had changed and there was little threat of her being caught seeming unconfident in her staff's work, she dragged herself down to the cargo bay and began the arduous task of inventory. Most of the day's shipments were backups and reserve components to primary and secondary systems; most of the spare parts were used during the repairs, which meant that not only did replacements need ordering, but replacements' replacements needed ordering as well. Maenad had specifically requested extra parts for the deflector and sensor systems as well, and she was just coming to them when a cold chill shot up the back of her legs, through her hip, then straight up her spine and into the back of her head. She sniffed once, then sat down on a crate, setting the PADD and stylus down beside her.

If anyone else were in the dim and crypt-like cargo bay, they might have thought that the science chief looked like some kind of gargoyle; she was hunched over, her palms pressed into her eyes, her elbows on her knees. She was a collection of living right-angles. Her legs were drawn tightly together and her uniform's skirt flattened out from beneath her in the shape of a fan, flat against the crate. Maenad's head was throbbing and her eyes were wet and stinging; she hadn't eaten much all day, but she knew that wasn't it. She was stressed, angry, and tired. It had been one of the worst days she had ever had, immediately after one the best nights she had had in a very long time. That was just how thing seemed to work in Maenad's life.

She had first learned that her relatively harmless anaemia had progressed into its potentially life-threatening and more severe form of haemolytic anaemia. Then Stone came to her office and called her a bitch and a whore because he blamed her for last night's security breach. She hadn't shown it, but he had profoundly damaged her. Sticks stones broke bones, but she had always thought that names could kill. And then she was summoned to the captain's ready room, only to be told to get off the ship if she found it difficult to work with this so-called chief research officer. She wasn't sure which upset her the most, but in the end her thoughts came back to how rude Stone had been. How he had shouted at her the way that he did; if only he knew how alone she was. How empty she felt.

Eventually, Maenad lifted her head from her hands. Her palms were wet. She hadn't cried, but she could have and probably should have. She sniffed once and sat up straight, staring into the shadows of the cargo bay, tucking her hands between her thighs.

The silence was interrupted by the beeping of the comm. "Lieutenant Carlisle to Lieutenant Maenad. I was wondering if you had time for a chat?"

"This is Panne," she said after making she could speak without cracking. She had never spoken to the counsellor. How could she say that she didn't want to chat? Chatting was the last thing she wanted to right now, especially with a total stranger. But, regulations demanded that she did. "Not really," she lied, "But I think I can make time right now." She was, after all, sitting alone in the cargobay doing absolutely nothing but busy-work, doing something to take her mind off of all that had happened.

"Good," Delainey replied. "I'm long overdue for giving you a proper welcome. Think you can come to my office? I would be happy to meet you somewhere if you like, it just needs to be quiet."

Maenad stood, brushing herself off. "I'm on my way to your office now." Within minutes, she had made her way to the counsellor's office by the assistance of the computer and sounded the chime.

The doors opened obediently upon Delainey's command and she greeted the other woman with her gentle smile. "Thank you for coming. Please, make yourself at home."

She didn't really want to be here, much less make herself at home. Maenad was hoping this would be an in and out exchange, but she sat down anyway. "What was it you wanted me for?" she asked, crossing her legs. She fixed her skirt around her knees and set her hands in her lap.

"Just to check in," Delainey explained. "I wanted to meet with and get to know the other senior staff members, and I realized I'd yet to meet with you. All of us have pretty busy jobs, but I imagine you're under a great deal of pressure as Chief Science Officer of a science vessel. I guess I just wanted to see how you're coping?"

Maenad wasn't sure if she narrowed her eyes, but it sure felt like it. "I have carried the weight before, doctor," she said. "I am doing just fine. How are you?" The question was stupid, and she knew it right away. Too late to withdraw it; she had no interest in how the counsellor's day had gone.

"Do you want to know or is that your way of saying you don't want to talk about yourself?"

Maenad frowned, finding that to be an aggressive question for a counsellor. Her tone became defensive now, not understanding the counsellor's sudden hostility toward her. "Well, I was only trying to be nice," she said. "I was raised to be mannerly, and I've always thought the polite thing to do when I'm asked how I'm doing is to ask the other person the same." Her eyes were narrowed in disbelief that the counsellor had asked her that.

"I meant no disrespect," Delainey replied calmly, "I was merely curious. I apologize that my tone didn't convey that. I'm well, thank you. My interest in how you're coping isn't an indictment of you, just more curiosity. As a counselor, I try to be proactive in preventing problems as much as possible, and I figured it couldn't hurt to check in with members of the crew."

Maenad blinked, tilting her head a bit. "Yes, well," she smiled, "Thank you. I am quite comfortable." She really felt, in this moment and on this day, very uncomfortable.

"What do you suppose is the easiest and the hardest part of the job?"

What? Maenad didn't say or drop her jaw, nor did she roll her eyes, or make any movement that might have indicated that she was getting annoyed - if she hadn't already. "Well, I consider my job to be natural. I do not find any particular part of it to be easy, but there are parts that I suppose might qualify as hard." She frowned. "The hardest part would be," being asked what I find hardest about my job she also didn't say. "It would be..." The smile of a new idea crept onto her cheeks. "It's a difficult question. What do you mean by hard?" she asked, slouching a bit over her legs, touching her chin.

"Hard as in, hard to bear? To do? To cope with afterwards? I find tedious things like inventory hard to bear because I don't like doing it. But, as a CSO, I am usually in charge of away and survey missions, and I hate going into situations that might involve me or someone else getting severely hurt. I find complicated mathematical problems hard to do. I find it hard to reconcile these things afterwards, I suppose." The pedantic frown faded. "You'll have to clarify what you mean for me, I'm sorry," she said, not intending to be as philosophical as she might have been.

"You're doing fine," Delainey answered. "I meant hard as in difficult, but I appreciate your thorough answer. You bring up a fair point in that perhaps unlike other postings, where security officers or engineers might take the lead on Away missions, here, you and your team bear much of the risk. Is that a new experience for you?"

"Well," Maenad frowned again, but not offensively. "No, it is not new. I have led away teams before, and led many during my doctoral studies to archaeological sites, but I never perceived myself as being in danger." She tilted her head as she considered that she did, in fact, bear much of the risk. Scientists were sought after by the Federation's enemies, and being a lead scientist and the chief on the fleet's primary science vessel definitely made her a target. It was the first time since coming aboard that she had thought of that. "I suppose that because violence makes me uncomfortable I try not to think about it. When I am leading a survey, for example, I do not expect to be kidnapped, injured, or even worse killed." But should she? The counsellor had planted seeds of paranoia in her that she would consider later.

"I don't think anyone expects it," Carlisle agreed. "How do you think recent events aboard have impacted your thinking or emotions?" She was curious because they had been unable to escape violence, and yet she had shared she tried not to think about it.

"I have sympathies with the crew," she agreed, "But as for myself, I do not dwell on it. Not being here, only seeing the damage after it was done, never knowing those who were killed, I can only do, no feel, so much." Maenad shrugged. "I tell myself that, statistically, what happened to the Galileo was highly unlikely. The odds of such horrors repeating themselves are inconsequential, therefore I would be foolish to dwell on a likelihood of one percent or less. I am not concerned." She was telling the truth; Maenad was genuinely indifferent toward these thoughts. There was no sense in worrying about things over which she had no control.

Delainey admired such thoughts and the comfort they brought. For her part, however, she had seen two horrible things happen back to back, Maenad's stats be damned. "That's a pretty healthy way to look at it. Have there been times, perhaps with other scary or distressing events, when you've struggled to accept such logic based thinking?"

Remembering her mission to assist in retrieving stolen Bajoran artefacts on Cardassia Prime, and the trouble she and her team had found themselves in, she blinked once. "No," she said simply. "I have had a pretty easy life, counsellor." It wasn't a lie; Maenad's life had been a safe one. She had the luxury of being more oblivious to the dangers of space than was probably healthy for her.

"But not completely easy?" Maenad seemed determined to present an all positive front, but Delainey got the distinct impression there was a lot she was fighting hard not to reveal.

Did anybody have a completely easy life, Maenad wondered. Maybe. "Well," she said with a frown, "I've had a pretty good life," she said slowly, trying to figure out where the counsellor was going. "I realise that I had the fortune of two loving parents and a wonderful childhood. All the work I put into becoming a professor and the person I am now, that wasn't easy," she said. "But it hasn't left me traumatised or anything," she smiled. She traded one crossed leg for the other, then tucked her hands beneath herself because they were cold.

Delainey smiled. "That's good to know. How about socially? How are you getting on with others aboard?"

"Fine, I think. I have made a few friends," Maenad nodded. Her friends were her business. She didn't want to talk about them.

Delainey wasn't certain, but she got the sense there was more to Maenad's reluctance than simple dislike of counselors. "Any troubles with any of the crew?"

"No," Maenad said simply.

"I got the feeling I was interrupting something important when I called you here. Was I?"

Delainey simply nodded, but offered casually, "Did I call you to come here at a really bad time?"

Counselling was never a good time, she thought. But that's not what Maenad said. "I was a little busy, but I probably could have used the break for lunch."

"Well, far be it from me to keep someone from proper nutrition," Delainey replied with a grin. "I'll let you go and enjoy the remainder of your break. It was a pleasure meeting you. Please know my door is always open." Carlisle sensed there was more going on at the moment, but she had no reason to press right now. It was her intention just to meet Maenad after all.

Maenad stood. "Thank you, counsellor," she nodded. "I will keep that in mind." She gave a true, but it was more thankful for being able to leave than it was anything else, and she strode out into the corridor.


[OFF]

Lieutenant (JG) Maenad Panne
Chief Science Officer
USS Galileo

Lieutenant (JG) Delainey Carlisle
Counsellor
USS Galileo

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