Temporal Affective Disorder

Posted on 09 Jul 2024 @ 1:45am by Lieutenant JG Delainey Carlisle & Ensign S'Ers-a M'Lyr'Zor
Edited on on 15 Jul 2024 @ 7:11pm

1,693 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Episode 19 - Tomorrow's Galileo
Location: USS Galileo-A - Deck 3, Counselor's Office
Timeline: MD05 - 1000

[ON]

Sera could never recall feeling more…unsettled. It was illogical to dwell in the past, this she knew, however, there had been no time to properly consider the last few days with any amount of focused commitment. Her duty had kept her busy, moving from one necessary task to another, but now…now she finally would be able to meditate and mentally unpack the many distressing events and find clarity and balance within again.

Her meditation lamp was where she left it, on the ground next to the pillow which would cushion her knees. Slipping off her boots, Sera strode purposefully over it, already silently reciting the mantra to bring focus and—

The chirping of the comm unit on her desk put an immediate halt to an attempt at meditation. She walked over to the screen and tapped on it. It was from Lieutenant JG Delainey Carlisle. The ship’s counselor…requesting to see at her. It was all written in quite a friendly disarming manner, but the truth of the matter was she had not reported to the counselor upon coming aboard and then, well…what was the phrase humans were fond of saying?

Ah. Yes. Shit happened.

They really did have the most fascinating metaphors.
There was no point in delaying the inevitable. To do so would skirt procrastination, and that was illogical.

It would appear meditation would have to wait. Again. Oh, who was she trying to fool...it would have been an exercise in futility anyway.

Sera typed back her compliance and returned to the still warm boots and slipped them back on. Better to get whatever the counselor had in mind over with.

--

((Outside Counselor Carlisle’s office))

Sera pressed the chime button and waited…

"Come," Delainey called out softly, the doors to her office hissing open in compliance. When she saw Sera, she offered, "Thank you for coming so promptly. I know you must have your hands full." In truth, Carlisle didn't know what to expect from this conversation, having interacted very little with Sera during her time in engineering, but nevertheless wanting to provide emotional support to all who needed it.

The doors hissed opened and Sera strode in a few steps. "I must apologize, Lieutenant Carlisle. I failed to report as required in a timely manner." Sera responded in a cool tone. "It was necessary to respond to your summons with all due haste given my egregious oversight."

"I appreciate your prompt willingness to meet your obligation," Delainey replied. "I'm not upset with you for not coming sooner, I just thought it'd be a good time to meet. To say the crew and the engineering staff in particular has suffered profound trauma is an understatement." She gestured for Sera to make herself comfortable.

"It was logical." Sera responded - her comment a knee jerk response, essentially. She looked about the room and found a chair that was opposite of where the Counselor was sitting and took a seat. Folding her long, elegant hands atop one another in her lap, Sera also crossed her legs at the ankles and pulled them in to the bottom of the chair and sat ramrod straight. Correct posture and appropriate body positioning was a defense in of itself, and Sera was simply preparing herself.

"It is a potentiality in which all officers must reconcile, that one may lose one who serves under their command. Hollenday's death was an...unfortunate occurrence."

Such a response was to be expected, but it was still initially jarring after working with others that were anything but "logical" and dispassionate as they coped in the aftermath of battle. Without agreeing or disagreeing, Carlisle offered, "How are you coping?"

Coping. A verb. It meant to deal effectively with something difficult. Sera wasn't dealing with anything, really. The last...few days, had been one distressing event after another, and no time in-between to consider and rationalize.

"I..." It was not an easy answer. To say she was coping adequately would be a lie, and Vulcans did. not. lie. But she did not want to be seen as weak or unable to manage.

"There have been more pressing priorities to address than my mental well-being." There. That was honest.

"I don't doubt that," the counselor replied, "but is it fair to say you think your mental well-being should be a priority?"

"Fair?" Sera raised a brow at the counselor's comment. What did fairness have anything to do with it? The universe did not operate under a law of 'fairness.'

"Lieutenant. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one. Our presence here and what we are being required to do is quite clear evidence of that fact."

Sera almost laughed. Quoting Surakian dogma while failing miserably at upholding required meditation to maintain the rigid control over her thoughts and emotions seemed rather hypocritical.

The stars of the Pleiades bathed her face and hands as Sera looked out of the view port. Wait. How had she gotten here? She turned and regarded Carlisle with a raised brow but failed in her awareness that an expression of confusion was also painted across her normally neutral countenance.

One of the most important decisions any counselor made multiple times a day was whether to speak or not. Much could be gleaned from silence. Did the other person rush to fill the speak? What facial expressions or other forms of nonverbal behavior did he or she exhibit? For the counselor, there was always a degree of discomfort, but eventually, our way forward would be revealed.

A small part of Carlisle wanted to come to the rescue, but another part of her wanted to let Sera find her voice.

"We will return or we will meet our collective ends here. There is no...time--" Sera huffed at the use of the temporal word. "I should be able to adequately manage the stressors of this mission..." But she sure didn't sound confident in saying it.

"You should but you aren't?" It was perhaps the obvious question but Delainey didn't have to be eloquent all the time to be effective, thank God.

This was an uncomfortable exchange. The counselor's question was quite direct; it left no room for dissembling. Fvadt.

She turned her gaze back out to the vacuum of space. It was less distressing to not have the counselor in her field of vision while she bared her inadequacy. It was necessary, and what is necessary is never unwise, "I...do not believe I am."

Carlisle took several beats to respond, at war with herself. On the one hand, she wanted to reassure Sera. On the other, she knew if she didn't ask additional questions she might not continue to get such candor. Still, continuing to probe what was obviously uncomfortable without some sort of reassurance was unusual for her. She decided on a compromise. "Will you tell me more?" Presenting the opportunity as a question allowed for the possibility Sera needed more lead time.

"I have been experiencing a peculiar sensation of...unreality since we were brought into the future. It is affecting my efficiency and productivity. I...I cannot sleep. I have not been able to successfully meditate..."

Sera stopped talking and instead looked down at her hands which had gripped the sill of the view port with a white knuckled grip. She didn't want to be here. She didn't want to talk about this!

Delainey thought back to her conversation with Tarin and met Sera's defeated posture with a gentle tone. "This temporal travel has affected many people in similar ways. You aren't alone and it's not your fault."

Sera shook her head an in a negative manner. "Has it? I...I don't know. It does not matter. None of this matters. Is any of it even real?" She exhaled quickly out of her nose making a huffing sound.

"I do not know how much longer I can continue...I am...just ready for all of it to be over with. I anticipate the Klingons' arrival." Sera stopped herself from continuing. Her words were not doing her any favors.

Delainey didn't know Sera well, but she did know she was not the sort of person who readily revealed any sort of limitation or weakness. Whether that was strictly due to her Vulcan heritage or especially true for her as an individual, her statements now were concerning, particularly her questioning of what was real. Anxiety and a sense of unreality were all potential symptoms of temporal affective disorder, and while Delainey knew better than to diagnose on the spot, she knew the possibility could not be ignored either.

"I think we're all eager for this to be over and don't want the Klingons to show, but we're preparing just in case." Carlisle paused, then offered, "Sleep and meditation are essential for your well-being. Might you consider allowing me to do a more thorough medical assessment and then prescribing some medication to assist, even temporarily?"

"If you believe it would be beneficial." Sera responded as she finally turned to face Carlisle again. Her eyes darted, attempting to find the appropriate thing to look at before settling on a empty space of wall just directly above and to the left of the counselor's head.

"I think it would be a good place to start," Carlisle offered with a nod. "We'll plan to keep talking, of course, but I'll set up the exam right away." The counselor was not one to suggest medication or medical support on a whim, but in this instance, her gut was telling her she needed more information.

Did it really even matter? Sera shrugged in a somewhat un-Vulcan-like manner and took a seat in the chair across from the counselor and slumping into the chair in a manner that non-verbally expressed just how exhausted with everything she was. Perhaps Lieutenant Carlisle would succeed?

[OFF]


***

Ensign S'Ers'a M'Lyr'Zor
Acting Chief Engineering Officer
USS Galileo-A

&

Lieutenant Junior Grade Delainey Carlisle
Chief Counselor
USS Galileo-A

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