Confessions in the Dark

Posted on 14 Oct 2021 @ 8:06pm by Chief Warrant Officer 2 Oliver Sylver & Verity Thorne
Edited on on 29 Oct 2021 @ 6:41pm

1,530 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Episode 17 - Crystal of Life
Location: USS Galileo-A - Sylver and Thorne's Quarters
Timeline: MD 03, 0200

[ON]

Oliver couldn't sleep as he lay in the bed, his arms wrapped around Verity's form. He had tried to close his eyes, to empty his head, but found it near impossible. A thousand thoughts went through his head, echoing there, small warnings and the sense that something bad was happening, had happened. He frowned and opened his eyes again, his face close to Verity's hair, where he could catch the scent.

With the sudden change in leadership, he felt like everything had gone a bit...there was no words. On ships, Captains did depart. Death happened, or changes that came natural with command. But this? It felt so close to mutiny that something, the old Marine, tugged at him and told him he should have done or said something. The same voice was there as well to tell him that it changed nothing, that the chain of command was still present and he had a job to do.

"I don't have to be a Betazoid to hear you thinking..." Verity murmured softly, smiling weakly to himself where he remained still against the other man. He was relaxed in his embrace, his hand reaching to brush against Oliver's to try and calm him down. He could tell how unsettled he was. He just wasn't sure what he could do to make it better.

Oliver smiled weakly and kissed his hair, unable to stop himself. "Sorry," he said, swallowing. "I...think I am struggling wrapping my head around it all. It all happened so quickly. And now...I just got a bad feeling about everything yet I...know I have to follow orders."

Verity smiled softly at that...at least he was talking about it now. It was half way to making it feel better. He turned on the bed so he could face him in the dark, propping his head up on his hand. "What's the struggle?" he asked quietly.

"I would and have followed Saalm to hell and back," he said as he took his hand to entwine their fingers. "With...what happened, the change in Command...it is an uncomfortable feeling when your heart tugs you one way, but your code another..." he smiled weakly, holding Verity's eyes for a long moment. "I took an oath. And...it is to serve."

"So you did what you thought was right in the moment," he said softly, holding his eyes in the dim light, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

Oliver nodded before he frowned, swallowing. "Then why does it feel like I have betrayed my Captain?" he whispered and leant close, to rest their foreheads together.

Verity frowned as he lifted his hand to stroke his hair slowly and reassuringly, sighing gently at how it had to feel for him. "I'm sorry you were in that predicament," he said quietly to his ear. "It wasn't fair, or easy. And there was no right or wrong answer...only what you felt was right in that moment."

"I fell into habit," Oliver whispered as he looked at him before he smiled weakly, wrapping his arms around him to hug him. "Obey the next order, stay alive through the fight...and it is going to be a fight, lover."

"That's what it's all about," Verity whispered, shaking his head with a weak smile as he held him tightly, rubbing his back soothingly. "You train and train so that when the moments come that would usually freeze someone with indecision, you fall back on what you know. The training takes over and keeps you going. It's what keeps you alive," he swallowed hard, shaking his head. "And if that's what keeps you coming back home every night, then good."

Oliver watched him before he nodded, leaning to kiss him tenderly on the lips. "I got something amazing to come home to, that's why," he said with a small smile. "Besides, you would never forgive me if I got myself hurt."

"You're right there," he chuckled gently, watching him fondly in the dim light. "I can't pretend I know what it was like for you, being put in that position. All I know is that it was an impossible situation to be in, that whichever you chose, you would have felt like you'd betrayed something."

Oliver nodded as he smiled gently, watching him before he touched his cheek, stroking it. "Whatever happens though...I will make sure you are safe," he whispered quietly. "I am spending more and more time on the bridge, this will allow me to do that."

"I'd rather you concentrated on keeping yourself safe," Verity said seriously, frowning with worry as he touched his jaw. "I mean it, I never want to be a distraction."

"You aren't. You are a motivation," Oliver said firmly as he held his eyes before he kissed him again, tenderly, closing his eyes. "Of the duty I have to keep the people on this ship safe when I am flying her."

"And you do a great job of it," Verity assured with a frown, running his fingers carefully through the longer dark hair of the other man. "You being put in an impossible position doesn't change that."

"Can't change anything," he whispered to Verity before he touched his hand, stroking it. "So I just...have to do my duty. It is all I can do..." he calmed down as he said it, clearly putting something to rest in his mind.

He nodded firmly as he watched with a small smile, sensing the shift in him, pleased for it. He had enough responsibility without that piled on him too. "One day at a time," he whispered.

"One day at the time," Oliver whispered back and wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. "I am sorry I woke you, lover. I didn't want to. You need your rest."

"I'm fine," he said firmly, smiling warmly as he shook his head against the pillow. "You can't help it if your brain ticks like a grandfather clock," he teased, sliding a hand under the pillow as he watched him.

Oliver chuckled warmly, his eyes gentle before he leant closer, to kiss his neck. "Maybe what you should do is to shut it up somehow...?" he teased against his skin, grinning.

Verity laughed warmly at that, watching him fondly as he reached out to stroke down his jaw. "Are you that easy?" he teased, shaking his head as he watched him with awe. How utterly hot he was. And somehow, he was with him. Somehow.

"With you, yes I am," Oliver whispered softly, leaning into the touch with warmth. He watched him with adoration and leant close, to kiss him deeply and with the passion he felt for him.

Verity closed his eyes as he kissed him back with love, taking the time to soak up the sheer emotion from the other man. He only opened his eyes when his lips pulled back enough to catch his breath, his hand gripping his arm tightly. "How did this happen?" he whispered, but with a smile, the near disbelief showing in his eyes.

Oliver watched him, smiling as he stroked over his side. "I was lucky, I met the best man in the world," he whispered softly, lips teasing along his jaw.

He laughed softly, closing his eyes with the warmth, shaking his head gently with disagreement. "Come off it, Oliver....handsome fly boys can take their pick."

"I did," Oliver said as he smiled, kissing his jaw again but this time to make a point. "I picked the best person in the entire galaxy. You. Beautiful, compassionate, smart, gentle and kind you..."

Verity's throat tightened with the words, his lips parting with the emotion they brought. It was still difficult to believe, but he trusted him. With everything. "When I left the priesthood, I thought everything was over," he said quietly. "It had been my life...my soul. But this is..."

"I...know how it feels," Oliver admitted as he looked at him, eyes gentle. "When...I was a Marine, I was a career man. I was going to die a Marine. And then...after the war when I couldn't face it again and I got my discharge...I don't know, I felt lost. And when I enlisted I...still felt lost in Starfleet. Then I met you and I saw...that there was so much more to life. There is you and our life together."

Verity let out a soft, shaky breath, reaching to run the back of his hand across his high cheek bone. "I wish I could make it better," he said quietly. "I know how much you lost."

Oliver smiled as he held his eyes, leaning into it. "I gained more with you," he finally said, meaning it with all he was. "We...can have a good life, Verity."

He smiled gently at the reply, hoping he meant it. Oliver deserved that much at least. And selfishly, he wanted to be the one to do it. "It feels better with you in it," he whispered easily.

[OFF]

--

Verity Thorne
Chaplain
USS Galileo-A
[PNPC Blake]

CWO2 Oliver Sylver
Flight Control
USS Galileo-A
[PNPC Vansen]

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