Elephant in the room

Posted on 06 Jul 2019 @ 4:20pm by Commander Luke Wyatt & Commander Marisa Wyatt

1,067 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Episode 17 - Crystal of Life
Location: Deck 3, Shared quarters
Timeline: MD -03

[ON]

Luke had spent the better part of the evening how this very conversation was going to go, at some point he stopped thinking about it and started drinking with some off duty security and engineering personnel until he decided it was late enough that Marisa might be sleeping and he could slip in unnoticed so when he entered the room and saw the lights still on he felt anxiety wash over him.

"Hi." Marisa came out of the bedroom. She took one look at his face and went over to the couch and sat down. "So, tell me what's up."

Trying to not act too sheepish Luke took the open space next to her on the couch, "Its silly really." He said out loud before adding, "I'm not even sure it's worth getting all bothered about and well I just needed a moment to think. I've done that now."

"This is about Commander Blake, right?" she asked, putting her hand on his arm. "I think you'd feel better if you just told me."

"It's... difficult and a very, very long story that I'm not sure even I want to hear" Luke admitted, knowing that he was only delaying the inevitable conversation they were about to have. The truth was he wasn't sure what to say.

"I'm not going anywhere, love," she said softly. She squeezed his hand in encouragement. "We need to talk about this, and it's better if we do it now." She picked up his hand and kissed it. "I was there, remember? I saw how much it affected you. Please, tell me."

Luke, in his mind couldn't, deny that this was going to be an easy conversation, but Marissa was right. "Ok," he said simply, his thumb caressing her hand. "For the past few years, I have had feelings, strong feelings for Commander Blake. To my knowledge, they are not reciprocated but still, I enjoy her company and she is a very good and very close friend of mine. Speaking to her about our relationship was clearly difficult for both of us."

She appreciated his blunt honesty. "I noticed," Marisa said. "At least on your part." This was hard on her, too, but she knew if they were going to have a future together, they needed to talk it out. "So tell me, how do your feelings for me compare to your feelings for Commander Blake?"

"I can not," He said simply, the words cutting the tension like a knife. "My feelings to her and my feelings to you are completely different... they just end up with the same result. I have known Commander Blake a very long time and my feelings for her have fluctuated but always remained the same in the end."

He sighed, "My feelings for you are just as great, they're new and something I crave to have. I'm sorry I have mixed you up in this not quite so love triangle. You'll be happy to know she has never reciprocated my feelings which is why I must move on." Luke stopped himself. "And don't for a second think your second choice, if I had known you when I knew her then perhaps it would be you who stole my heart."

While Marisa knew he had feelings for Commander Blake, this was more than she'd expected. She had to draw on her Vulcan control and her professionalism so she didn't break down and cry. "There are many degrees of love. To be honest, I thought I was in love with someone last year. He had no idea, and he did not return my feelings. Over time, my feelings faded and we became friends. Yours for Commander Blake have not appeared to fade with time and lack of nurture." Her hand trembled. It was her only sign of how this conversation was affecting her. "So, you need to figure out how you feel about each of us. You said your feelings for me are just s great as your feelings for her. But are they the same? If she were to express her love for you now, would you walk away from me to be with her? If so, our relationship will never survive." RIght now, she very definitely felt like second choice. He'd loved her for years. Was he simply giving on up that and accepting Marisa because he couldn't have his first choice? She didn't know if she was strong enough to accept second best. "The problem is that she's here, and you work with her every day. You mostly see me when we're here. You can love her, care about her, but not the same way you feel about me. I can't..." her voice cracked and she looked away. "What do you want me to do?" she asked quietly. "Should I move out until you know what you want?"

"I don't want you to move out at all" He said quickly clawing at any responsibility he had left within himself as a decent man. "You asked for honesty and I respect you, love you enough to give it to you. I love you Marisa and I wouldn't have asked you to move in if I didn't. I just don't think it would be fair keeping this from you, I do love you" he said reassuringly his hand now on hers.

"I know, but I can't help feeling that if she said she loved you, you'd leave." Saying the words out loud were more than she could handle. She stood up and walked a few steps away, her back to him so he couldn't see her cry.

Standing up and following her Luke simply hugged her from behind, kissing the back of her neck in reassurance. He didn't have any words to say, not any that would help either of them. Truth be told if Scarlet did turn around and said she loved him he would be so torn that he wouldn't know what to do, and for that he hated himself.

Marisa turned and hugged him, still crying. She knew that his silence meant her fears were valid, and it almost broke her heart. At the same time, she couldn't--wouldn't--walk away from him as long as they had a chance of working through this.

____
OFF

Lieutenant Commander Luke Wyatt
Chief Security/Tactical Officer
USS Galileo-A

Lieutenant Marisa Sandoval
Chief Security Officer
USS Galileo-A

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