The Present Moment

Posted on 01 Jan 2019 @ 4:22am by Rear Admiral Lirha Saalm & Lieutenant Lake ir-Llantrisant

2,568 words; about a 13 minute read

Mission: Episode 17 - Crystal of Life
Location: USS Galileo-A - Deck 2, Captain's Ready Room
Timeline: MD -70, 1130 hours

[ON]

"How do you maintain motivation," Lake asked, his depth of curiosity shining through the upward lilt of his intonation, "when your goal is still so far out of sight?"

At one point, any theoretical observer could have told you this was a counseling session for the Captain. Lieutenant Lake ir-Llantrisant had been seated erect on the curved sofa and had been taking discreet notes on a PADD. Somewhere along the way, his posture had slouched, and now he was laying across the sofa, and staring at the overhead while he spoke. At this point, it wasn't as clear if Lake was the counselor or the patient. "It's been so long since we launched," Lake remarked, "I can hardly remember the nervous excitement that propelled us along. At the same time, our arrival date feels so deeply out of sight. It hardly seems worth the effort to maintain momentum, if we won't be arriving anytime soon..."

Lirha reached into her small silver package of replicated targ jerky and popped a small piece into her mouth. She contemplated his query while she chewed and remembered the first time she'd been deployed on a long voyage, as well as the accompanying emotions. "I think you're losing sight," she casually replied. "Do not focus on the big picture of our new assignment. We must do it day by day, hour by hour. Set small goals, yes?"

"I can appreciate small goals from the intellectual perspective," Lake replied, sounding excited to be traveling down a different path of thought, but also sounding wary that it may be leading to a dead end. "The mind can better conceive of the goal, when it's measurable and achievable in that way," Lake said agreeably. Shifting his boots to the deck, Lake shifted his body weight to sit upright on the sofa. "How then do you draw energy from such insignificant goals?" Lake asked. "How do you get excited for travel measured in kilometers or crewmembers showing more leadership in nothing more than a single sentence this week?"

She crossed her legs and leaned back while she prepared to answer but then paused at his mention of crew behavior. "Hm. Is it really that bad, now?" she pondered out loud, genuinely wanting to know his personal and professional opinion on the matter. Over the past few weeks she'd been aware of several minor 'personnel issues' but didn't think morale had deteriorated too badly.

Lake was quick to shake his head in the negative. "No, it's not that bad," he replied reassuringly. Much more slowly, he continued to pivot his head from side to side, looking for where he had left his fermented iced tea. "I only brought it up as a concrete example of my own philosophical musings," Lake explained. His eyes landed on his half-empty glass and he reached for it to take another sip.

Returning his full attention to Lirha, Lake asked of her, "What has been your experience of Ship's Counselors in your career?" --He quickly added-- "I don't mean as a patient, but as a Captain, a leader of counselors."

"Well," she grabbed another piece of jerky, "in Command school we were taught mental health has always been a great concern in Starfleet. Many test cases and past incidents showed that crews cannot function properly under sustained mental duress. It can...incapacitate a vessel. Are you familiar with the USS Brattain?"

Lifting the glass to his lips, Lake went completely still with the rim of the glass only inches away from his face. "Ah," Lake said, making eye-contact with Lirha, as he attempted to parse out her intentions. "Yes. Well," he added and sipped from his glass. Afterwards, he finally answered the question, "That was one of Starfleet's greatest mental health failures. I referenced several of the crew logs in one of my papers, yes."

"So you can understand my prerogative? On one hand the crew must have discipline to be effective. But too much mental strain can weaken them and achieve the opposite result." She chewed and contemplated further. "Counselors help hold the fabric together and make the difficult achievable," she hypothesized.

Nodding at the points she made, Lake remarked, "I would agree, yes, that's generally true. What was your experience in working with counselors aboard the last Galileo?" --He took another quick sip of his fermented tea-- "...That's a coded question to ask if you may have any unconscious biases, one way or another?" he admitted. Lake knew better than to attempt guile with this Captain.

"They were...effective," she shrugged. "Nothing in the crew reports to suggest otherwise." Lirha then took a few moments to reflect upon the past counselors with whom she'd served. "There was Jonas, and Drusilla, Dorian and Rael. And Teth." She smiled to herself at the memory of the tall lanky Caitian. "And Brayden."

"It's comforting, in a way," Lake said, "to know I'll be in good company. Another link in a lineage, even." There was a sense of reverie in his mien. For all of Lake's questions and disagreements with Starfleet philosophy, there still came a comfort in the grand design of such a vast and lasting organization. His manner turned petulant, then, when Lake asked, "So why don't you have a counselor serving on your bridge?"

She tilted her head slightly at him. "I wasn't aware we needed one. Or...do we?" she asked with a subtle upward tug at the corner of one of her gold lips.

"It's hard to say at this point," Lake replied, only hoping for Lirha's consideration as he spoke. He wasn't in this debate for the win; he seemed to be exploring his position as he spoke. "It's fallen out of fashion, but there was a time it was standard procedure," he said, "I don't know if I could truly be available for my patients if I served bridge duty every shift, but I would hope to contribute should our missions take a turn for the diplomatic."

"Perhaps," Lirha pondered briefly. "But right now we have another 70 days until we reach Regula I. Do you...really want to sit on a bench in the bridge and watch the stars streak by for hours at a time?" She definitely didn't care for it, and had now taken to spending as much time as possible during her duty shifts in either the conference room or her private office down on Deck 2. "It's not as glorious as it sounds," she smirked to herself.

"Regardless of the glory (imagined or otherwise), my patients' needs come first," Lake replied. "I wouldn't spend seventy days on the bridge, but I would like to be of service should Galileo encounter other sentient beings. I believe I would have a vital perspective to offer."

She leaned back and regarded him with intrigue. Then she raised an eyebrow while doing her best to keep a straight face. "So you are him...the Calamarain Whisperer."

Pivoting his head in Lirha's direction, Lake stared right at her, his jaw tight. And he blinked. "...I don't understand the reference?" Lake said.

"There is an old wiseman's tale in Orion culture. The story of the First Explorer who was so great that he traveled the stars before any other known race. It was rumored he was so connected to the universe, he could understand its very essence. And he could communicate with the corporeal and non-corporeal," she explained, then smiled. "It was a compliment, relax," she teased.

"In that case," Lake replied in a lyrical manner, "I will receive it as such." He smiled at that, lightly, and loosened his posture, leaning back into the sofa cushions. Looking to Lirha, Lake asked, "What should I know about your command style? How can I expect the experience of this crew to be different, because of you?"

She smiled to herself at the loaded question. "If only it were that easy to explain," she genuinely answered. "We are a Starfleet vessel but I'm not an 'orthodox' commander. Not like the textbook captains you find being recalled from an Academy desk. Like the Humans, I'm an explorer, but I...derive a different joy from the experience," she revealed.

"There is great value in the experience of our exploration," Lake remarked. "Some would say it's the only thing we truly have." After nodding deeply at Lirha's words, Lake further checked for his understanding. "If there's a difference between Human explorers and yourself," Lake asked and he raised his hands like the two plates on a weighing scale, "What do you suspect is most different about the joy you seek?"

Her casual body language and demeanor seemed to intensify. She looked the counselor straight in the eyes, unflinchingly. "I seek joy for myself and those around me," she answered. "Not for the betterment of 'man'kind," she revealed.

"I truly believe," Lake responded, "the highest purpose of every living being in our galaxy is just to live in it." He nodded at Lirha's words emphatically. When Lake had nodded before, he had been communicating acceptance and understanding of what she was saying. The way his dark eyes mirrored Lira's gaze, Lake was sharing agreement, sharing truth. "We've been given all of these sensory organs, these sensations. Our first duty is to experience this life, fully. ...If our full experience enables us to explore strange new worlds, all the better, but our experience must come before the exploration."

Lirha shifted in her seat then procured another piece of jerky from the small pouch in her hand. "That's not what we were taught at the Academy in Command school," she smirked while she put it in her mouth and chewed. "Especially not as a commander of a science vessel. Duty to Starfleet and scientific observation is our mission...however it's implied." It wasn't that she disagreed with the counselor but rather the opposite. And that, in its simple essence, was the ongoing inner conflict she experienced on a daily basis.

"I'd like to think both duties can be true," Lake said, speaking of Starfleet in optimistic terms for what was likely the very first time, since the death of his ex-husband. His expression opened right up and he sat on the edge of his sofa cushion. "Our duty to Starfleet and our duty to our own truth as living beings can orbit one another in equilibrium," he said, spinning his hands around one another for a couple of rotations. "Starfleet offers us unique experiential opportunities. We travel to places hardly any other Federation citizens will ever see, and Starfleet provides for us the luxury to focus on our duties.

Looking at Lirha, looking right at her, Lake affirmed, "Gathering information and defending the Federation seems such a small price for this chance we're given."

She started to roll her eyes at the perfect logic Lake had just explained but then stopped and let out a soft breath. It was sometimes very hard to tell the difference between Romulans and their Vulcan kin who both shared the same sharp mental aptitudes. She couldn't fault a single word he'd said, but still the thought of being so limited by Starfleet doctrine was...frustrating.

"Have you ever considered what Starfleet could do it if reached its potential?" she asked in reply. "If politicians did not limit us? Instead of cataloging each planet in every surveyed system, we could be exploring the farthest reaches of the Gamma and Delta quadrants. Even reach other galaxies, with our new knowledge of transwarp theory..."

A pained wince spread across Lake’s lips, and he shifted uncomfortably on his seat cushion. “Generally,” Lake said apprehensively, “I try not to think on environmental factors I can’t influence. For instance... I don’t want to know what it means when the very universe itself tries to burn your whole race to ash. ...However, this alternate universe you propose sounds absolutely delightful indeed. Do you... do you suppose you would have accepted this command if we hadn’t been sent to the farthest reaches of Federation space?”

It was an honest question for which the captain had no prepared answer or personal opinion. Therefore, she expressed a light shrug while contemplating the query. "At the time, I suppose I would have done almost anything to get out of the penal colony I was in," she admitted. "Assembling isolinear optical chips all day was not my future." Her eyes then turned back to his. "And you?"

"I'd like to say I'm here for the adventure," Lake said. His pained wince didn't pass, but he squeezed it away into the pursing of his lips. "Certainly, I chose this assignment because of our destination, our opportunity to explore," Lake said, "...and I probably would have ended up here anyway, even if our area of operation was going to be sector zero-zero-one. I was ready for a new life too. I needed something different. I just got lucky to be on this adventure."

Lirha chewed on more jerky and flashed the man a private grin. "Then it seems we can both help each other, my counselor friend." Her eyes then drifted to the floor as a new, more personal matter suddenly surfaced in her thoughts. "Have you spoken to my sister in recent days? Ever since she smuggled herself aboard Galileo, I've been...concerned about her. Mostly her future."

At that, Lake cleared his throat soundly. He broke eye contact with Lirha long enough to consider his reply to that question. After letting out a breath he was holding, Lake said, "No, I haven't," shaking his head as he did so. Looking to Lirha, Lake tentatively said, "I wasn't certain if she needed counseling as a crewman, counseling as a criminal, or if she most needed a friend?"

"What is your assessment?" she curiously asked Lake. "She is only 18. Most of what she knows in life is from our mother and I. But unlike me, she hasn't taken to Starfleet. Nesh seems to be an Orion content with planetary life. She wants to be..." she grumbled quietly, "an artist."

That word caused Lake to wince pre-emptively at his own observation. "Artists aren't known for their," Lake said, pausing to clear his throat, "mental health hygiene. I don't imagine she would respond well to me as the Ship's Counselor. I should probably approach her as a person, a friend."

"I would like that. I think she would too. But keep your clothes on, yes?" she replied, giving him a long scolding look before it was betrayed by a small grin.

As much as Lake appeared wide-eyed and cornered, he was hiding a smirk of his own. He raised a hand over his heart and he looked Lirha in the eyes. "I can make that promise for myself," he swore effusively, "but can she do the same?"

Lirha narrowed her eyes then looked away. She grumbled to herself again while secretly admitting the truth to herself. Probably not. A quick lecture to the younger Orion would be needed before the counselor managed to find her before she did. "I will make sure of it."

[OFF]

--

Lieutenant Lake ir-Llantrisant
Chief Counselor
USS Galileo-A

CAPT Lirha Saalm
Commanding Officer
USS Galileo-A

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