I can't keep doing this.

Posted on 31 May 2017 @ 11:57pm by Commander Marisa Wyatt & Lieutenant Min Zhao
Edited on on 08 Jun 2017 @ 2:48pm

1,164 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Episode 15 - Emanation
Location: USS Atlirith - Guest Quarters
Timeline: MD -30, 1614 hrs

ON:

Min closed the comm link from earth and lay back, tears streaming down her face. It would be another month before she would be reunited with her daughter and wasn't sure if she could wait that long. She had no choice but after being on mission and presumed dead for two months, she wasn't sure if she could continue on missions without Lian. And she couldn't bring Lian with her, not with the Galileo's track record of getting into serious trouble.

She needed to talk to somebody and as much as she wasn't the most fond of counselors, she needed a safe space to chat. Tapping her badge, she called up Lt Sandoval. =/\=Lt Sandoval? Lt Zhao. I was wondering if we could talk? My quarters if possible.=/\=

"On my way." Marisa had plenty of time right now, which she'd been using to read scientific journals. She got up from the computer and located Min's quarters.

Several minutes later, she rang the door chime.

Min was just splashing some water on her face, trying to clean herself up a little so it wasn't so obvious she'd been crying. She patted her face dry as she went over to the door and opened it. Smiling at Marissa she motioned for the lady to come in, stepping back to let Marissa enter. "Thank you Lieutenant. I hope I didn't pull you away from anything?"

"Not at all," Marisa assured her. "I was doing some reading. It can easily wait 'till later. How can I be of help?"

Min paused, trying not to break down again as she spoke. "I need some advice, and perhaps a shoulder Lieutenant. It's, complicated." she remarked, leading the lady into her rather spartan quarters. The only real picture in the room was a small photo of Min & Lian taken soon after Lian was born. The few photos of her and Jared she kept tucked away, unwilling to display any photos of her ex.

"Can I get you something Ma'am?"

"No, thank you," Marisa said.

Min nodded and went to grab herself a glass of ice water. She knew she'd be talking a lot the next hour and the water would help. Placing the water down as she sat across the living area from Marissa, Min looked at Marissa unsurely and then began to speak. "I know you joined us a Kreanus so may not know everyone's files. I have a daughter on earth, a little girl who means the world to me, even tho both her biological and adoptive fathers skipped out on me." She paused, "I don't know what to do. I can't stand to be away from her and yet a ship like this I can't keep her with me. And space is not safe, especially given this ship's reputation for trouble, and I just don't want to end of a photo my daughter glances at occasionally, the only memory she has of me being that photo."

"Who's taking care of her now?" Marisa asked. Before she could offer any sort of help she needed more information about Min and her daughter.

"Lian is living on earth with my brother and his wife. They have a daughter about two years older then my daughter Lian." She paused, sniffling a little, "She's safe with family. My parent's live there as well so she's surrounded by close family. Shen said she hasn't noticed I'm gone, which I'm glad on one hand, on the other it hurts to know she's growing up without her mother."

"I take it you've thought about this a lot," Marisa said. "Have you considered taking an assignment on a planet where you'd have more stability?"

"It's been on my mind almost since the moment we transported aboard. Funny how you start thinking about the future again when you are back in safe familiar surroundings." She stopped for a second. "That would be the best but I feel like I owe this ship, her captain a debt that only serving aboard her can repay."

"That's one way of looking at it. Another is that you owe your daughter a debt." Marisa watched her for a moment. "What you need to decide is how will you feel ten years from now? When your daughter is grown and on her own? Will you regret the time you spent away from her? If so, find a way to be with her. The ship will find someone to replace you. Your daughter will not."

Min hadn't really thought about it that way and it took a second for Marrisa's words to sink in. Starfleet had a hundred operations officers who could replace her, Lian only had one mother. "I hadn't thought of it that way. I don't know if I could, face Lian I mean, if I left her to grow up with her aunt. This past few months has been hard enough, I don't know if I could do it for years."

"And how would you feel if you walked away from Starfleet?" Marisa asked. "Say, ten years from now, if you looked back on what you left. How would you feel devoting those years to taking care of your daughter?"

"I'm not sure," Min responded, "Starfleet is all I've known my adult life. I've been in Starfleet since I graduated high school, and Starfleet gave me a second chance after I became pregnant. And it feels like I'm turning my back on the people who gave me that second chance."

"Can you ask for an assignment on Earth or take a long sabbatical? Either would give you time to decide what to do while spending time with your daughter," she asked. The other woman's distress was almost palpable and it made Marisa wish she had an easy solution.

Min nodded, "I could ask for reassignment to Earth." She had to admit the idea of earth had some merits. Close to family, she'd be able to have an apartment instead of quarters. "It would be nice to be close to my brother and sister."

Marisa nodded. "That would give you both your career and your family. I'll put in a good word for you, if it'll help."

"Any help would be appreciated Lieutenant. Earth is a hard assignment to get but would be the best for me I think." She paused, "Thank you."

"I'm happy to do it. I'll write a letter of recommendation to Starfleet Medical." It wasn't something she offered casually. Marisa had never sent in such a recommendation before, but there was something about Min and the way she was dealing with the separation from her daughter that was different. This woman needed stability as much as her daughter did, and from their brief conversation, the counselor was certain that further psychological evaluations would support her decision.

Marisa stood and gave Min a hug. "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

OFF:

Lieutenant Min Zhao
Chief of Operations

&

Lieutenant JG Marisa Sandoval
Counselor

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