Counselling Session

Posted on 22 Mar 2016 @ 2:55am by Jynn & Lieutenant JG Drusilla McCarthy

2,915 words; about a 15 minute read

Mission: Episode 10 - Symposium
Location: Deck 2 - Jynn's Quarters
Timeline: MD10 - 1100 hours

[ON]

It was a very rare occasion that a Deltan needed a psychological evaluation. As a people they had become so open and honest that they almost never manifested a good portion of the mental disorders associated with many other species. But of course, with all complex minds, problems still arose from time to time. Even in Deltans. Deltans such as Jynn. It was because of this fact and the fact that the new person assigned to his shameful case, Benice, had been requested it that he now awaited the chief counselor to see him.

He was waiting in his quarters. Waiting for the poor soul who would have to try and make sense of his muddled up mind. It felt like all he did was wait now. What else could you do when you were confined to quarters for an indefinite period of time? Just wait.

Finish the final paragraph of Jynn's report in her hand, Dru let out a small sigh as she rubbed her hand across her creased forehead. This looked like it was just one big mess up...one which she would need to pull apart and try to sort.

Rubbing her forehead once more, Drusilla pressed the chime in order to announce her presence to the occupant of the room. She passed a smile to the guard who stood by the door, obviously a precaution arranged by Gyce to ensure the Deltan stayed under house arrest.

"Enter," at your own peril, his mind finished trying to make mock humor of the serious conversation that was about to follow.

As Dru moved through the doors, she was at least happy to see that the officer didn't follow. It was bad enough that she had to record this session but the man had a right to a fair trial and being given the opportunity to defend himself without prejudge. "Lieutenant Junior Grade Jynn? Is now a good time?"

“As good a time as any,” Jynn nodded in response. “Perhaps a glass of water before we start? I find a beverage can help in relieving tension. Especially if one of us finds ourselves at a lack of words.”

Dru indicated for Jynn to fetch the water as she waited for him to move back over. The fact he'd been expecting her was a little unexpected though she guessed that he wasn't having many visitors at this time. "Before we start. I prefer you to be as relaxed as possible but I do need to advise that I ave been ordered to record our session for sharing with Lieutenant Junior Grade Benice Gyce and the command team. Are you ok with this Jynn?"

With the clicking and clacking of two glasses of ice water in hand Jynn made his way back to their seating arrangement before answering her question. “I do not mind at all. At this point there is nothing left to hide. The only thing I can do now is make my story heard so that proper judgment can be delivered.”

As Drusilla activated the recording device, the counsellor smiled at Jynn as she took the offered glass and sat down in the free chair. "I'm not here to deliver judgement Jynn. I know that you've been through a difficult time lately and I'm hoping that I will be able to talk you through it all and help you to understand the mixed emotions you must be experiencing at the moment."

“What is there to understand?” He had not even taken a sip of his drink. At the moment it seemed nothing more than a formality. He had not even opted to juggle an ice cube in his mouth to redirect the sporadic thoughts. Just straight and to the point. “Apparently my mind has been causing quite a stir. Wouldn't it be best to not understand it? Wouldn't it be best if we just moved along and simply saw the matter for what it is? That being me is becoming a problem?”

The defeatist attitude was sending off warning bells in Dru's head as she pulled her legs up under her where she sat. "Why do you feel that being you is a problem?"

"Well isn't it obvious," Jynn spoke with a frustrated tone as though he had already explained it a hundred times. "Clearly this carefree loving attitude of mine is a problem. In no time at all aboard this ship I broke my oath and almost broke a mind. I broke my career and I broke the trust of everyone aboard. Maybe I need to adjust? To reign it in?"

"A carefree attitude is not typically a problem aslong as you lay down limitations and are strict with yourself to keep them. Can you tell me about what it was about Tuula that caused you to wish to take things a step further with her?" Drusilla wasn't about to jump to conclusions without first establishing the facts and trying to see if she could figure out how Jynn's mind worked.

"It was a spur of the moment. An error in judgement." Jynn was beginning to speak in ways he didn't think he was capable of, but then again that was the reality of the situation. A fluke. A flaw. "I was excited in all the wrong ways and I was in a state of lack of control. I really couldn't tell you the particulars, but being alone in quarters with my emotions on edge? It was an autopilot of conscience that erred."

"I just want you to go back to that moment in time...ignore everything else for a moment. How were you feeling when you first met Tuula? Can you describe your emotions and feelings at that moment in time?" Dru studied Jynn closely before taking a small sip of her water, giving him time to think.

He took perhaps more time than one would expect to think about it. At least more time that would be expected of a flighty Deltan. But after all the thought the answers came quite simply. “Manic. Frenetic. My emotions were like molecules in an excited state. Random and colliding. Excitement. Love. Whatever. It was just a matter of which feelings were at the forefront.” On second thought, maybe the answer wasn't quite so simple...

Dru smiled at the passion of Jynn's words, leaning forward a little as she probed deeper, "How did you feel when you were with Tuula?" Although an intimate question it was important for the counsellor to know so she could ascertain the Deltan's mental state when the event occurred.

“Everything and more. All emotion. Everything that I felt and everything that she felt. Like taking the very essence of emotion itself and multiplying it. That's how it feels to us Deltans. Though 'delightfully different' would be an added descriptor to the normal coitus we experience. Her human mind was exotic and it made it all the more difficult to turn away once I saw it.”

Dru was beginning to realise that Jynn's past activities seemed to have been based on surges of emotions which he seemed to get wrapped up and carried away in. He seemed to experience things in a whirlwind without sitting down and just taking a breath before diving in head first.

What she wasn't certain of was that did he do it knowingly throwing caution to the wind or did he just do it because he knew no better. "Where there other women outside of Tuula?"

“Maybe what you would call a couple close calls with non-Deltans, heated moments and flirtatious exchanges. Aside from that I've made love with quite a few Deltan men and women. Nothing out of the ordinary there.”

Dru studied the man more closely as she found this information intriguing. "What was it about Tuula that caused you to not be able to pull back as you have done before with non-Deltans?"

That was a good question. She was unique for sure, but so was everyone else in their own ways. Maybe it was the uniqueness of the circumstances that led up to the act? That or maybe she really did tickle his fancy in just the right way. It was hard to tell at this point. Better to just answer simply rather than get all philosophical. “I suppose it wasn't anything overly particular about her. Though she did seem to have an interest in some of the things that tended to excite and distract me from myself. Maybe the distraction proved disastrous for the two of us when I focused solely upon her? Grabbing my attention and pulling at my heartstrings?”

Dru might have done a fist pump is she wasn't in the current situation in which she found herself. She wasn't sure if the Deltian was even aware of what he'd just said, but he'd handed her his get out of jail free card so to say. Heartstrings...he'd fallen for Tuula which was indicative that he is actions were neither malicious nor mentally unbalanced...he'd acted on an instinct older than him or her, as old as the universes beginnings.

"Tell me something Jynn, place yourself outside of this room and this moment for a minute. Place yourself outside of everything that has happened and the rules of your people. Focus on you...just you. If you could be with Tuula once again, without legal or psychological remifications, would you go to her?"

Fun and spontaneity without consequence? Be a Deltan without having to not be a Deltan for most of your service? That was an easy question to answer for Jynn. “Well, sure. I mean why not? She seems like a pretty fun-loving individual and that is as good a way of getting to know someone as I can think of.”

Jynn was beginning to open up, becoming less reserved at their time together moved forward. "Tell me...with all that has happened would you go back to celibacy easily going forward?"

“I would say so. Yes.” There was an audible sigh as Jynn spoke, thinking about all that had transpired. “In light of recent events I would say I have enough newfound wisdom to keep myself from ever doing something so foolish again. I know second chances aren't given much thought in my circumstances, but I can say with certainty that either way what happened with me won't happen again.”

Glancing across at the camera, Dru hesitated for a moment before making up her mind to just spit out the question. "Is there any other strange behaviors you have noticed your exhibiting in recent times which may seem strange to you?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary really," Jynn shrugged. He was probably strange by definition, but by his standards nothing was that much different than the usual aside from his one transgression. "I suppose I can be a bit too carefree and spontaneous at times, but that might be for a different session entirely. I'm sure there's a whole lot you could get from picking at my brain."

Dru smiled at this responce as she looked back over to the camera, "Just for the benefit of those watching this, in what way does your carefree and spontaneous means express themselves?" She wasn't overly worried but knew that Gyce and Holiday might be if they felt that Jynn's expressions might transfer onto other crew.

“Fun and games. Games of chance. Propelling people into the unknown along with me. I like exhilaration.” Jynn was beginning to wonder if the answers would help him or hurt him, though at this point it time it seemed like truth or lie he would end up in hot waters. It made sense to opt for the truth at that point and so he continued on. “Sometimes it can get a bit... dangerous... but I'd have to say for the most part it's mostly meant to keep my mind suitably occupied and distracted. Like feeding a beast in just the right way at just the right time.”

Dru resisted the urge to put her head in her hands...they'd been doing so well and now...this....It was something that set off alarm bells with even her, so she wouldn't be able to even imagine Gyce and Holiday's reactions. Well she could imagine and it wouldn't be pretty.

"Was what happened with Tuula one such example of one of these fun and game scenarios or could you give me an example of what you are describing?"

The concern in Dru was obvious to Jynn and he himself couldn't help but feel it a little. It probably did seem bad and conclusions could be drawn from that statement that were false, but nonetheless easily come to. Better to be sure the command staff didn't see what wasn't actually there. "Of course not. What happened with Tuula is an example of something that happens when I can't distract myself enough. It's never happened before, not like that. I have no idea how it did to tell you the truth. My distractions, such as romps through the holodeck or games of... chance... are usually more than sufficient."

Dru let out the breath which she had unconsciously been holding. Relief flooded her body on how well Jynn was handling the questions and presenting himself. "And how do you figure in the future you might better handle the situation if you find that your...romps or games of chance aren't fulfilling you enough?"

That question was not an easy one for Jynn. He had gone through all the possibilities and aside from relying solely on his questionable self control the other options were less than desirable, but all but inevitable. “Medication could help me curb my desires and the consequences of them. It's my only option, really. That and maybe some therapy. At this point I'm willing to make any concessions needed to make this right.”

"At this point I would prefer if we avoided the use of medication if that would be ok with you? I don't feel that it wold be neccessary in your case, we just need to ensure that you use the other measures we put in place for when these occurances might happen. How would you feel about using myself as an automatic contact point in the event you feel that you are loosing grip of your control?" Dru leaned over to take up her PADD which she had previously left down at her side.

“A panic button of sorts,” Jynn asked. “An ejection seat to safety? I suppose it could be good to have a mandatory contact in instances of near loss of control. I don't know how the powers that be will punish me, but I'm sure they would agree that it would be beneficial for me to have an emergency contact.”

Making a number of notes in the PADD, Dru looked up after a few moments; studying the man before she spoke again. "Tell me...how do you feel now, within and about yourself, now we've had this chat?"

“I feel like I am at the mercy of you and the powers that be,” Jynn replied rather bluntly. “At this point all I can do is speak the truth and hope my atonement is enough. But,” he started, easing back his tense tone a bit, “I do feel our meeting has been productive. It's good to have other minds to get other perspectives and I believe your mind has helped me see mine in at least a somewhat better light.”

Hesitating for a moment, Dru nodded her head as she concluded that they had reached the end of this session. Moving to her feet, the woman moved across to turn off the video feed before turning back to the officer. "Now that we are alone as such, was there anything you wanted to say or ask me off of the record?"

“I just hope the powers that be are as merciful as they are often portrayed.”

Dru hesitated for a moment as she mulled this over, "I can't be certain to be honest. But what I can assure you of is that it's my job to show all of the elements of what happened and to fight your corner in relation to how you were feeling and what you were thinking. I can promise you that whatever decision they come to, it will be fair."

"I'm sure it will be," Jynn answered quietly. "Starfleet is nothing if not fair. I am sure whatever decision they come to will be the right one." He let out a sigh of exhaustion. At this point all he wanted was a quick and painless decision to be made. After being dragged through the mud so much he was willing to welcome any decision over the agonizing wait. But wait he would. What else could he do? Just wait. And wait. And wait. Alone.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?"

The sigh hadn't gone unnoticed as Dru picked up her PADD and what little equipment she had brought for recording the session. Moving across to the officer, she hesitated for a brief moment before touching his shoulder in a brief and friendly gesture. "Nothing more for today. Don't forget to contact me if ever you need anything more."

[OFF]

Lieutenant JG Drusilla McCarthy
Chief Counsellor
USS Galileo

Jynn
Support Craft Pilot
USS Galileo

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