Slowing Body, Racing Mind

Posted on 04 Mar 2015 @ 10:19pm by Lieutenant JG Grayson Jones
Edited on on 04 Mar 2015 @ 10:21pm

573 words; about a 3 minute read

Mission: Episode 08 - NIMBUS
Location: USS Galileo, Gym
Timeline: MD -01 2200

ON:

Getting acquainted with the Engineering Department as the temporary chief was something Grayson was enjoying, even if he still had knots in his stomach every time someone said his name while there. Stress was becoming his constant companion and he had to find a way to unwind and his usual method involved some kind of company, a commodity which he was sorely lacking and longing for. The gym was his next call. Having indulged over the past few days, mainly on carbohydrates, Grayson was feeling a little bloated and had the desire to hit the treadmill, the weights and cheer himself up.

Donning his usual gym attire, high thigh length shorts, tight t-shirt...all tastefully in black of course, he grabbed some water, his personal music player and went on his way.

Before he really gave much thought, he was mid session and even though his muscles were tense, his mind was feeling much more relaxed and feeling like his normal self. They rhythmic pounding of his feet on the treadmill allowed his mind to drift. It was the drop of sweat from his brow onto his cheek that brought him round. Always thinking it would sound weird, Grayson enjoyed the feeling of allowing the droplet work its way down his face, aligning with his spots and carrying down his neck. He was greatful, for now at least, the gym was his, it allowed Grayson to let out a sigh and not worry what anyone was thinking about.

At that moment, something hit him. A new feeling of droplet was running down his cheek. Grayson was crying.

The emotions of grief, loss, loneliness, sorrow and what felt like a thousand indiscriminate others washed over him like a tidal wave, leaving a physical pain in his chest like he had just been punched, hard. His father was gone, he wasn't allowed to say goodbye, he wasn't allowed to say how much he loved him, how much he hated him, he wanted to thank him for all he did, cuss him out for never being there. Without even realising his thoughts switched, Grayson needed a hug, a kiss, some physicality with someone, the disastrous dates he had, the catastrophic hurt. Johna came to mind. Grayson wanted to say sorry and made a mental note to reach out to him and do so.

Then to Oren, he felt foolish for trying to go after someone, who he assumed, clearly never wanted him and kicked himself for all he did there. The spilled tears, the failed flirts.

His uncertainty with Clarence.

His times with Ellsworth.

His deep attraction to Andreus and how he has been the only man to stun him into silence and reduce him to the confidence lacking teenager he once used to be.

Picking himself up, Grayson decided to head out before people noticed the quivering wreck he had become, sitting on the edge of the now stopped treadmill. He never even noticed he had stopped or was sitting there. Allowing his head to sink into his hands, he knew he needed someone, but did not know where to turn right now. The past few weeks strength had suddenly gone, it felt like a physically break deep within his body. Taking a breath, composing himself, Grayson got up and left the gym, to where he was headed though? He was not too sure himself.

OFF:

Lieutenant Grayson Jones
Assistant Chief Engineer
USS Galileo

RSS Feed