The past catches up - Part three

Posted on 09 Oct 2014 @ 10:19pm by Ensign Jaana Voutilainen & Lieutenant Tuula Voutilainen M.D. & Petty Officer 2nd Class Ardon Zuwtt
Edited on on 10 Oct 2014 @ 11:22am

1,081 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Episode 07 - Sojourn
Location: USS Galileo - Deck 3, Tuula and Jaana's quarters
Timeline: MD -01 17.15 hours

[ON]

Jaana sat down on one of the seats in the living area. "So, what happened six years ago? And don't tell me he just broke up with me, because I don't believe that anymore?"

"I wanted to tell you," started Tuula, a tear running down her cheek. "Believe me, I was going to tell you."

"Well, then tell me!" Jaana was getting cranky. Why couldn't Tuula have told her six years ago. Why did she felt she had to keep it a secret.

"I'm sorry." Tuula wiped the tears from her eyes. This was not how she wanted to tell her sister. "Okay, here goes." She took a deep breath and looked into Jaana's eyes. "He was charming when I first met him. He was the first Bolian I had ever met; there aren't exactly a lot of them living in Finland. When he asked me out, he took me to one of the finest restaurants in all of Helsinki, and he was such a gentleman. We fell in love right away."

This was the part that she knew. "And then?"

"We were living together, in a little apartment near the University." Tuula took a couple of deep breaths. "Once I had moved in with him, his little gentlemanly mask slipped off. He was manipulative; he played mind games with me, made me feel like I was nothing without him. And... he was abusive. Emotionally, physically... he kept getting worse and worse. He put me in the hospital twice, telling the nurses that I fell down some stairs or had an accident while bicycling. And then... I found out I was pregnant."

Jaana was at a loss for words. Her sister. Having to go through all of that. "When was this?" she asked. She didn't even know they lived together.

"In Helsinki, in the last year of my pre-med," replied Tuula. "I was just about to graduate when I found out about the pregnancy." Looking at the expression of shock on her sister's face, she felt horrible for keeping her secret for so long. This was not how she wanted Jaana to find out. "It put things in perspective. I realized that this sort of relationship was suitable for raising a child. And it wasn't healthy for me either. That's when I left."

"That's," again she didn't know exactly how to respond to all of this. "Dammit, Tuula, why didn't you say anything before."

"I wanted to, Jaana, believe me." She sighed. In some ways, she felt a bit of relief, as though a weight was being lifted on her shoulder. But it pained her to see that weight fall onto her sister's shoulder. "It took me months even to admit to myself what happened. I was going to tell you, and then... the accident happened. I know this is kind of stupid because we were only born seven minutes apart, but as the big sister, I didn't want to cause you any distress, not when you were struggling so hard with your studies."

"What accident?"

"The shuttle accident, silly," she said, trying to make light of the situation. But her little joke fell flat; there was no making light of this situation.

"And the baby?"

Tuula took a deep breath. She didn't know how Jaana would feel about this; it was the main reason why she never told her. "I couldn't continue on in this relationship with Zuwtt. And... I couldn't raise his child on my own. Not by myself, and not when I was about to go to medical school." Her eyes wandered out to the stars, and than back to her sister. "So, I went to the family planning clinic in Helsinki..."

Jaana looked at her sister. And started shaking her head. "No,..."

"Yes." Tuula was afraid that Jaana might react like that. "I had an abortion, Jaana."

Jaana sighed deeply. Then lowered her head to her hands.

Tuula slowly wheeled herself towards her sister and placed a hand on her shoulder. "No, Jaana, don't cry. It's all right. Everything is all right."

Jaana looked up and realized her sister was comforting her, while it should be the other way around. "You had an abortion?" How could you, she wanted to add.

"Yes, Jaana," Tuula said in a voice that was firm and unequivocal. "I had an abortion."

She stood up and walked to the other side of the room. "I can't believe you had an abortion. You know how I feel about that. I would have helped you with whatever you needed. I would have even raised the baby if you wanted. If you had just asked."

"I didn't have any other options, Jaana," Tuula called out. She knew that with Jaana struggling with her studies at the time, she would have been hard pressed to do anything. "I was on the shortlist to be accepted to three different medical schools. You know how I always wanted to be a doctor?" She looked up at the mess of long, wavy, blond hair that was the back of her sister's head. "I had to make a choice, Jaana. And... I'm not ashamed of that choice. My only regret was ever getting involved with Zuwtt in the first place."

"A child wouldn't have eliminated your changes to become a doctor; that is nonsense. If you really want to you can achieve anything." Jaana responded.

"Oh please," shot back Tuula. "You would have me raising the child of the man who made my life a living hell all by myself? While trying to balance that with my studies in med school? No, Jaana, that wasn't an option."

"The child can't help who his father is!"

"It's my body," replied Tuula, "my choice. You would have me carrying the child of that abusive deadbeat against my will?" She took a deep breath. She didn't want to be mad at her sister. "This is why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you wouldn't understand."

Jaana shook her head. "We'll continue this later, I need to think." She headed for the door and left the room, looking for a quiet place where she could think.

"No, wait!" called out Tuula, but her sister just kept walking. Alone in her quarters, she began to cry.


OFF:


Ensign Jaana Voutilainen
Stellar Cartographer
USS Galileo

Lieutenant JG Tuula Voutilainen M.D.
Medical Officer
USS Galileo

PO2 Ardon Zuwtt
Damage Control Technician
USS Galileo
[PNPC Tuula]

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