To Better Choices

Posted on 15 Apr 2014 @ 5:36pm by Senior Chief Petty Officer Keval zh'Erinov & Lieutenant Elijah Williams IV, M.Sc.

3,479 words; about a 17 minute read

Mission: Episode 06 - Legend of Souls
Location: USS Galileo - Deck 4, Elijah Williams Quarters f/b Deck 5 Holodeck One
Timeline: MD -10 - 1650 hours

ON:

It had been a few days since he had seen Elijah. Both men had been busy and it had been hard for them to connect. He had heard about the grand opening of the ship's new lounge. He didn't think that Elijah would want to go,but he thought he might as well give it a shot.

He still thought of Elijah as nothing more than a friend and was still drawn towards Ashai romantically, but he wasn't sure the other man felt the same, so he decided to just go see Elijah and talk. Maybe ask him to come with him to the bar. He wouldn't have called it a date. Not exactly, but he wanted to spend more time with the other man whatever he called it.

Dressed in a pair of jeans an a simple white t-shirt he pressed the chime to the geologist's door.

Elijah had just got in his quarters, his uniform jacket was unzipped and the tunic collar was unclasped and the zip lowered to midchest exposing the gray tank tee he wore underneath. He groused at the sound of the chime, wondering who it could be. For the briefest of moments he thought about ignoring it, eventually the person on the other side of the door would go away. Right? But, he wasn't one to just ignore people even if he didn't want visitors at the moment. "Come in," he called out not bothering to zip up his uniform tunic or jacket.


Keval walked in and could not help but stare at the other man. He certainly hadn't expected to catch him "half-dressed" His eyes centered briefly on the other man's chest before he forced his eyes up to his face. Both antennae flicked forward slightly in curiosity and he turned a shade or two bluer.

"Um, hi Elijah, did I catch you at a bad time?"

"Nope," Elijah said as he shook his head. He had to admit he was surprised to see that it was Keval. He shrugged off his uniform jacket and laid it on his neatly made bed. "I just finished up in the lab for the evening," he said. He wasn't sure what the Andorian needed, but he noticed the subtle change in the other man's skin color. Was Keval blushing?

"Well, They are christening the new lounge tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to go. You know together. Uhh.. you know just to check things out?"

"Oh that was tonight?" Elijah blinked in surprised and fell silent as he found himself momentarily lost in thought. He had remembered someone mentioning it. Abbey perhaps? He shook his head. "Oh, I don't know. I mean there will probably be a crowd and I still don't know a lot of people." He reached back and rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know... maybe."

"I just thought it would be a way to meet people, but you know if you'd rather not. We could just hang out here and talk or whatever. Or we could even go to the holodeck and create our own lounge. Maybe shoot some pool or something."

"I've never played pool," Elijah said. He shook his head and shoved his hands into the pockets of his uniform pants. "I appreciate the offer but I don't want to keep you from going to the lounge grand opening just because I don't care for social situations like that." He offered a bit of a small smile in appreciation.

The corner of Keval's left lip curled up minutely and his left antennae curled back. "You know actually, I'd like to spend the ni... the evening with you bar or no bar. So if you're saying you'll come with me to that, I'm cool with that. But if you don't want to go, I'd just as soon stay here with you. We don't have to do anything."

"Oh." Elijah wasn't sure what to make of that, but he also didn't want to put anyone out of have them do something they didn't want. But, Keval seemed content either way on whatever he decided. The holodeck did seem like it'd be a nice change of pace. "Alright," he said. "I mean, the holodeck sounds like it'd be fun. I haven't been in one in a while."

"Great," said Keval, "you might want to put a shirt on. You want to just keep it simple, or throw in some mystery?"

"Just simple I suppose," Elijah said as his gaze dropped down to see that he was still wearing his teal tunic. "If you just give me a couple of minutes I can change." He excused himself, from his dresser he grabbed a pair of heather gray slim cut trousers and a black v-neck t-shirt. He went to the bathroom, definitely not comfortable changing in front of Keval and changed. After a few minutes he emerged and sat on his bed to pull on a pair of black and white old school converse shoes. He stood up, tugged on the hem of his tee and looked to Keval. "All set."

"Perfect," Keval said an amused expression on his face. He'd thought Elijah's going into the bathroom a nice change of pace. He found the man's innocence delightful.

"Simple works for me. I'll add a pool table and if you want to play we can, otherwise we can just chat. Oh wait, do you dance?"

Elijah laughed, though it was mostly at himself. "Dance? Hardly," he said after his quick laugh died. "I don't think I have any rhythm," he added as the two walked out of his quarters and started down the corridor.

"Well I guess we kill the Big Band and dance floor idea. I have some rhythm, but dancing is not really my forte. So maybe a nice jazz band to set the mood."

"Sure," Elijah nodded. "Whatever you think is best, I will leave it up to you." Since he didn't partake in the holodeck really, he wouldn't even know what to select or do concerning it. He preferred a book over the technology. But, now that he was on a starship he figured he would be partaking in holodeck pursuits once in a while.

"Okay, I've got something in mind. It will only take a few minutes to program something, I've got a template already, I'll just make a couple of changes and tone it down."

About five minuets later they arrived at the holodeck, which fortunately was unoccupied. Another five minutes and Keval was ready. The doors opened and the pair stepped inside.

The bar was small, maybe 1,000 square feet. It looked like an English pub with a stone floor and walls made of gnarled pine A large picture window was along one side with a view of the ocean and a sun that hung low on the horizon. Opposite the window, on the other side of the room was long bar with a dozen bar stools in front of it and at the opposite side of the entrance was a small stage where a band was sitting up. Aside from Elijah and Keval there were about a dozen people inside.

Though holodecks were the norm for the last half of the 24th century, the tech still very much amazed Elijah. Having grown up in a traditionalist household, anything holo was forbidden. He looked around taking it all in. The atmosphere was homey and he liked that it wasn't really packed (hologram or not). "Is this based off a real place," Elijah asked.

"Well, its based on a place that my dad used to take me when I was a little kid. It may not be an exact duplicate, I was only four or five at the time. We were stationed in Dublin. And I made it sunset because that's my favorite time of the day. Well actually sunrise is, but I figured that really didn't make sense.

The food is real real, well replicated, but real nonetheless."

At Keval sharing a memory, Elijah rummaged his own memory for any childhood memory that stuck out... nothing really came to him that was great. There was times the family went camping which was always nice. But nothing else really stood out, his father certainly never spent any substantial amount of time with him unless it involved a punishment of some sort. He shook his head and blinked, he didn't want to be thinking about his childhood right now. "I like it, it's... cozy," he said.

Keval looked at the other man. He knew something was going on behind those eyes he found so fascinating but he didn't know what it was and he didn't feel like pushing.

"Thanks you know if I ever retired I wouldn't mind owning a place like this. Nice, cozy like you said. I know some people would find that boring but I think it would be kind of nice to settle down with the right person. I wouldn't have to have a lot of action to make me happy.

So kind of a strange question, but where do you see yourself in five years and have you even thought about retirement?"

That was a strange question, one Elijah hadn't really thought about since his oral exams to get into the Academy. One of the questions was 'where do you see yourself/career going'. His answer was a simple one, brevity he knew, was key with a lot of these questions. He didn't mention rank, all he said was that he wanted to serve Starfleet to the best of his ability in hopes to expand the Fleet's knowledge in science. He just wanted to be a contributor to that, nothing more nothing less. "I'm only 25, it really hasn't been something I have given much thought," he said. It was an honest answer. "I mean, being here on the Galileo in the here and now is fine but I am sure there is much more that the future may hold for me.

I guess things like retirement or having a family haven't crossed my mind yet. I figure I have a good 35 to 40 years ahead of me to serve the fleet. In what capacity I would serve I am not sure," Elijah said. "I mean, I would like to get my doctorate in my field, maybe end up teaching though can you imagine shy, introverted me teaching." He started to laugh, again more at himself. After the laughter simmered, he continued. "As for family, I don't really know ya know. I have wondered if I would make a good spouse or a good father but then again I don't have very good role models in that regard." What he wanted to say was that he was damaged goods, to Elijah Williams, he was irreparable.

Keval could not read Elijah's mind, but his body language and what he left unsaid spoke volumes "You know I have lots of good memories in my early years but that all changed I didn't really have good role models either.

Everything became about what he wanted, how he thought I should live my life, now what I wanted." he laid a hand on Elijah's arm, "we have a lot in common you and I my friend, a lot in common."

"Oh?" When Keval laid a hand on his arm, he didn't jerk away. For Elijah, that was a huge step, it meant he was comfortable around the other man. Their friendship seemed to have forged quickly, but he surmised that things like that happened. He had wondered if Keval suffered from physical as well as verbal abuse from his father. He didn't voice that. "I suppose that maybe a good thing," he said.

Keval let his hand linger for a moment then slowly let it fall away, not wanting to violate Elijah's personal space. "Well I don't know how good it is but at least it gives us something in common. I used to blame myself thinking if I could just do better on the next test or be a little better at some sports competition he'd accept be or at least he would relent and let me do what I wanted. But it never worked."

"It never does," Elijah said. Nothing was ever good enough, that is why he learned to just keep his head down and not make waves. It was easier that way. "I'd blame myself too, but I also know I had to get away and that is how I ended up in Starfleet. Well, part of the reason anyway."

Keval sat back a little in his chair "What's the other reason?"

"To study geology," Elijah said. "Not to sound like the poster boy or anything, Starfleet offers a scientist the opportunity to explore and learn more. Earth is great, don't get me wrong, but there is so much more out there. All those planets out there, to study the geomorphology of those planets is an exciting prospect." He fell silent for a moment then continued. "I am not sure the kind of missions the Galileo will be partaking in, but being here is going to allow me to gain more experience. At least that is my hope."

"Well we came here for slightly different reasons. I came to Star Fleet because I didn't really have a big choice in the matter. I testified against my father, a contractor and the powers that be thought I'd be safer but I've really grown to like its. Especially here on the Galileo I guess its the people more than anything."

Elijah couldn't really speak concerning the people. His Starfleet experience was limited to the Academy, a masters program after that and a little over a year and in that only had made a few friends, people he didn't even keep in contact with. "I guess with such a small ship you tend to get to know people, I mean look at how we met. Totally by chance but I am sure there aren't as many operations personnel or engineers on board so I was bound to meet you at some point."

"Yeah I guess we were. But you know I'm glad we met like we did too. I really enjoy being around you. You're a great guy and you know you shouldn't underestimate yourself. You have a lot to offer. You're smart, you're cute, you're a little naive at times. And you're kind of sexy too."

Elijah was about to respond then shook his head in disbelief when what was said sunk in. He wasn't sure what to say, the words wouldn't leave his lips, he wasn't complimented about his physical appearance very often. In fact, he couldn't even remember the last time he was. If people tended to notice him, he didn't notice. But, Keval clearly noticed. "Uh..." again the words wouldn't come, but this time he stayed in his seat. "Thanks, I think."

Keval gave him a playful smirk and he sat forward slightly both of his antennae curling back as his hand once more reached out and touched the other man's arm. He leaned forward some more looking straight into the Human's eyes. "It was a compliment really and I really meant it."

"I know... I mean, I know you mean it," Elijah said and managed to smile but closed his mouth promptly. He cleared his throat. Then lowered his voice and leaned in as well and said, "Thanks for the compliment. I appreciate it."

For a minute the face of the two men were only inches apart. Keval's antennae curled back further. He thought of what it would be like to taste Elijah's lips with his own and he drew closer still to feel the man's breath against his face He almost gave into the temptation to kiss him then or at at least try but something held him in check for the moment.

"You could make a man fall in love with you if you tried."

If you tried. Those words slammed into Elijah like a brick to the head. If he tried? He wasn't even sure how he could make someone fall in love with him, it was such a foreign concept to him. He felt Keval's breath and on instinct or whatever it was, he found himself pulling back. "I, I don't know what to say to that," he said. It was the honest truth, he really wasn't sure.

"You wouldn't have to try very hard either," Keval responded his antenna straightening slightly as Elijah pulled back. "DAMN, I'm sorry Elijah some times I push too hard, too fast, I don't want to push you away."

Elijah shook his head. "There is no need to apologize," he said. He wanted to say it was him and not Keval, the Andorian was far more experienced then himself. He didn't know what to say in this situation. "You won't push me away Keval, so no worries."

"Good," came the reply because that's the last thing I want to do. i don't know if we'll ever be more than just friends, but maybe one day.. who knows> I just don't want to screw things up. Again."

"Again don't worry about it," Elijah said. He really didn't want Keval to worry about it. "Besides it's not you, it is really me. I am just not used to... this." He indicated Keval and the holodeck with a nod of his head. "I am not used to compliments on my appearance or anything like that. If someone notices me I either don't realize or don't know how to react." He this time reached out and placed a hand on Keval's forearm, it was a gesture he didn't typically do for anyone.

Keval's shoulders relaxed somewhat hardly daring to move for fear the other man would take his hand away,"Well," he said at last, "I guess this, whatever this is, is, is new to both of us. Maybe we should just take this a step at time. How about that?"

You have no idea how new this really is, Elijah thought to himself. He began to piece some of it together but again it came down to himself thinking he was damaged goods. No one really could love someone like himself. He wasn't sure he could give any type of love in return. This was all too new to him. Truth was he was scared, scared of what might happen, scared of letting his guard down. All his life he kept his head down, did what he was told, it was a way to protect himself, letting someone get close to him meant he would have to let them in. "I am glad we are friends Keval, I appreciate your help with getting used to being here on the Galileo, but I am a slow and steady wins the race kind of guy. So taking a step at a time is right up my alley."

"Fine with me. It sounds like you had a pretty rough childhood, or maybe no childhood at all. Are you comfortable with sharing any of it with me?"

Elijah withdrew his hand and folded his hands in front of him. "I don't really talk about my past much," he said. "But... my childhood wasn't a great one. I haven't spoken to my parents since I left for the Academy. Let's just say that not every human in the 24th century is enlightened."


Keval nodded as the hand was pulled away, "You know I'm not going to press you. I know enough for now. But if you ever do want to talk I'm here for you. Why don't we just agree we'll be honest with each other, no mask, no pretending, can you live with that?"

"Of course I can Keval. Besides, I am always honest," Elijah said. "In fact I might be one of the most honest people you will have ever met."

"Good then I guess I should confess that I'm probably more scared than you are right now, because so far every relationship I've been in has gotten fu, uh messed up. I don't want to see that happen now."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Elijah said. Which he really was. He had never had a relationship so he couldn't empathize, but he was truly sorry. He didn't like when anyone may experience emotional pain.

"Thanks," he said, he picked up a glass and moved it close to Elijah, "here's to better choices."

Elijah picked up the glass, not really sure what was in it. Nevertheless, he raised it and offered a smile then said, "To better choices."

OFF:

Lieutenant JG Elijah Williams IV
Geologist
USS Galileo

&

Chief Petty Officer Keval Graysan (zh'Erinov)
Operations
USS Galileo
(PNPC played by Lieutenant Jared Nicholas)

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