A Quiet Evening Between Friends

Posted on 23 Jan 2014 @ 11:25pm by Lieutenant Olsam Mott & Lieutenant Teth Miir

3,315 words; about a 17 minute read

Mission: Episode 05 - Solstice
Location: Mott Apartment, Crecy la Chapelle, Earth
Timeline: MD 17, 2115

[ ON ]

The Federation cultural database had proven to be exceptionally unhelpful when Olsam researched Caitian male bonding. It had been woefully lacking in practical information; what had been provided seemed convoluted, or he didn't understand it altogether. Bolian male bonding included long-term complicated rituals, like three-month fishing expeditions and dedication to team sports. Olsam didn't have three-months, and no sports team was going to accept the rotund doctor.

Seeing humanity as a sort of cultural middle-ground baseline for the rest of the Federation, he decided to investigate male bonding on Earth to set the stage for his upcoming discussion with Teth. The cultural database was overflowing with information about Terran male bonding, and Olsam was amused to find some similarities with both Bolian and Caitian activities. The computer suggested musical instruments, joint business ventures, creative endeavors, journeys, sporting activities, outdoor activities, gambling, social drinking and working with tools. Looking to cover all the bases, Olsam took his research to the replicator and redecorated his apartment accordingly.

The entire project was completed moments before Teth was scheduled to arrive to "hang out." The Bolian had programmed his viewscreen to split into quad-view and cycle through sporting events on a dozen different Federation worlds - none of them looked the least bit familiar to him, but he thought Teth might appreciate it. The coffee table was littered with snacks and two "beers," some sort of alcoholic drink from Earth. Olsam had taken a sip earlier and thought it was foul, but sometimes you had to make sacrifices for your friends.

Some of the activities had been admittedly difficult to incorporate into the design of the apartment: the Bolian tuba and Caitian bassoon looked somewhat awkward leaned against one another in the corner and the only tool he knew was a hammer he'd once borrowed and forgotten to return to a neighbor that now sat prominently on the end table. Joint business ventures seemed out of the question because Olsam was absolutely not business minded, but he'd made sure to arrange his copy of "The Rules of Acquisition" so that it was the center of attention in the bookcase. He hoped that the lack of a journey, creative endeavor and outdoor activity would just be graciously overlooked by his guest.

Teth straightened his mint green sweater vest before double checking that the number on the door was correct. It was, so he proceeded to knock loudly.

Olsam rushed to the window and looked down at the front door, a level below his second-story apartment. He grinned, seeing the tall Caitian outside, and went to the control pad to disengage the locks. He poked his head out of the apartment door and motioned up the stairs. "C'mon up!"

Stepping inside, the caitian noticed a large and what he could only describe as eclectic array of clutter around the main room. Also, a large variety of foods on the table, some recognizable and others not. Most notably were two bottles of beer which nearly made him wretch at the thought of drinking one.

"So... what exactly did you have planned here, Olsam?" he asked with a tone of bemusement.

"Planned?" Olsam asked, suddenly shifty-eyed. "I wasn't planning anything. I just thought maybe you were tired of Dusseldorf, maybe you wanted to come and hang out in France. I've got pastries." He lifted up a tray of ornate pastries that had come from the patisserie down the road. "Just a couple of guys. Hanging out. Watching the... Uh. You know, the match. Game."

For a moment, he just stared at the viewscreen, trying to puzzle out what was happening. Why were they chasing that ball? That just seemed like a lot of work for a ball. Why not replicate another one?

"That game is called football. The terrans seem to just love it, especially the ones residing in the European region." Teth explained in a disapproving tone, "I never really cared much for sports. I really don't find being aggressive and fighting over a ball to be very much fun."

"Me, either," Olsam said with relief, switching the view screen to its resting place on FNN and muted the sound. He gestured to the well-used but comfortable looking couch and smiled. "Have a seat! Would you like one of these bitter alcoholic beverages? Or some food? I've replicated wings of the chicke-...oh, wait, you're a vegetarian. I forgot. Uh." Looking embarrassed, he rummaged through the platters of food before relieving a stalk of celery. "Here."

Teth sat down took the celery in order to be polite. He took a bite out of it, the strings immediately got caught in his teeth. He would certainly need to floss vigorously later, an extra detail to his already well regimented and elaborate dental routine.

The Caitian looked at the spread of food once more, "Are we expecting more guests?"

"Huh?" Olsam looked at the food and then shook his head. "Nope. That's for me. So, Teth, how is your family?" The Bolian produced a PADD seemingly from nowhere that seemed to have a list of questions. Without waiting for an answer, he asked a follow-up. "Tell me, what qualities do you look for in a sexual partner and/or long-term mate?"

The Bolian put the PADD in his lap, rested his hands on top of it, and put on his best listening face.

"My fami- wait, what? Why do you want to know that?

Teth dropped his celery on the table and crossed his arms across his chest, suddenly feeling rather uncomfortable.

"I'm prescribing you a girlfriend," Olsam said cheerily, as if he were doling out an analgesic for a headache. He opened another screen on the PADD and held it up, showing a medical order for 'romance.' "There's a whole body of medical research demonstrating the efficacy of sexual intercourse and romantic entanglements in addressing stress, anxiety and a host of other medical ailments." The Bolian gave Teth a broad, reassuring smile. "I'm just gonna help, as your friend and physician. Maybe you'll find a nice lady friend, get married, have lots of children and name one of them Olsam after your best friend."

The doctor's smile turned into a sort of goofy, lop-sided grin.

"Really?"

Teth couldn't believe what was happening. Even though he was a grown man, he suddenly felt the pre-teen urge to bury himself under a throw pillow until Olsam stopped talking about sex. Instead he just stared on with an expression of mild horror on his face.

"Let me ask you something, Olsam. Have you ever successfully 'prescribed' this before?"

Olsam's nose wrinkled, his lips pursed and his brow furrowed. "Are you calling my medical expertise into question?" He huffed and folded his own arms, looking put out but thoughtful. His look softened as he continued to think and slowly his arms uncrossed. "Well. There was that one time... But then they got divorced. They remarried! But then he cheated on her. Not my fault though. I played match-maker with two friends from the Academy, and they have six children. Then I tried to find a wife for my cousin...ugh, that was a mess. One time I tried to get a Vulcan to date an Andorian. How was I supposed to know they hated each other?

"So, I guess the answer would be 'yes, I have prescribed it before with varying results.' But I'm a good match-maker! And a good physician." His brow creased a bit at the last one, as if to emphasize.

"I appreciate the sentiment. But trust me when I say that that is the last thing on my mind presently. I can barely keep myself together, I have no business being intimately involved with anyone else."

Teth's voice seemed exhausted more than anything, and he sunk back into the couch and covered his eyes with his hand.

"And besides, even if I were healthy and even if I were interested, it isn't like there's just a plethora of eligible Caitian women around. We're about to go into deep space in a glorified tuna can."

Olsam wondered to himself about the glorified tunacan. Wasn't that one of those colorful tropical birds with a big nose? He got so caught up in wondering why the Galileo looked like a tunacan bird that he mostly ignored Teth's declining his offer. He turned on the couch, grabbed a celery stick and chewed on it while observing his shy friend. Eck, this taste horrible, he thought, slowly replacing it back on the tray half-eaten.

"I think you're keeping yourself together very well, Teth. And you have a lot to offer another person!"

"You think I'm keeping myself together well?" Teth seemed somewhat amazed, and felt fortunate that Bolians were not a telepathic race.

"Sure. You haven't had a complete and total mental breakdown, right?" Olsam asked, shrugging. "Do you only date Caitian women? That's gonna narrow it down."

"Yes, I prefer Caitians or other felinoid races... not that there are a lot of those around either. But it really doesn't matter because I have no interested in dating or becoming romantically involved or even having a meaningless fling with anyone."

Olsam nodded, frowning. "I see. I hear what you're telling me, but I completely disagree with it. You won't even go on one date? It's a medically prescribed date. Who refuses a doctor's orders? So I'm not a certified 'doctor of love,' big deal. I could go on the network and buy a certification from the Ferengi Medical Authority for two bars of gold-pressed latinum if that would make you feel better."

Teth gave Olsam a long and intense glare as he breathed deeply and pushed away any thought of grabbing him by his collar and smashing his head into the coffee table repeatedly. He counted back from ten and wondered why he would want to harm a well meaning friend.

"Of course the Ferengi would consider that a legitimate profession." the caitian finally said, quite irritated "And just who would you expect me to go on a date with? Do you have other patients lined up for this sort of thing or will some poor crewman have to take one for the team?"

"Take one what? Take a Caitian?" Olsam asked, lifting an eyebrow. "I don't condone kidnapping."

"It's a Terran figure if speech. It generally refers to one person suffering for the betterment of everyone around them."

"Oh. Right."

Realizing Teth was on the cusp of agreeing, Olsam suddenly became very animated. "Not other patients, but don't you worry. I will find some very lovely young Caitian ladies with...long...tails? I don't know, you have to give me some parameters. Do you want to date a scientist? An engineer? A dancer? Or do you want me to just run a full-spectrum compatibility test to determine which one is the best suited for reproduction? Cuz I can do that."

"I really just want to be alone. I've not had good luck with relationships in the best of circumstances, and believe me, this is not the best of circumstances."

Teth sighed heavily and wondered if Olsam would ever give up. He was beginning to regret being room mates with him. He wondered what outlandish lengths he might go through to procure his idea of a compatible mate for him In the back of his mind, he remembered the Bolian's desire to drug the dock master and shuddered.

Olsam gasped, his eyes going wide in something of a eureka moment. He lowered his voice, despite the fact that they were completely alone in the apartment. "I know, you're worried about performance. It's perfectly normal. There are a lot of different medications we can use to addre-"

"What? No!" Teth said, standing up defensively, "Why do you- just- no! That isn't the issue at all. I am physically fine except for the implants. You of all people should know that!"

Olsam had to crane his neck considerably to look up at his tall, standing friend. His eyes looked like they were on the verge of getting wet, his brow was drawn together and his bottom blue lip was poked out a bit. His voice sounded both frustrated and wounded. "Well I'm only trying to help! I think it would be good for you if you got out and had a nice dinner with a nice lady and took a nice walk in a nice park and maybe had some sex. Not in the park, I mean. After the park."

Teth sighed yet again and sat down in the same spot he had been a few moments before and tried to regain some of his own composure.

"Look, I appreciate that you care and that you are trying to help. But I really am not in a good place emotionally. I mean, maybe it's not something Bolians understand but I'm still not entirely recovered from my last relationship."

And indeed he wasn't. She was the woman who made the young counselor swear off dating aliens ever again.

"I thought it might be therapeutic," Olsam said defensively. "What happened in your last relationship? Did you date a Klingon?"

Teth shook his head. "No, she was a Trill-Romulan hybrid. She was also one of my patients- which was extremely unethical in it's own right. She stabbed me in the neck with a letter opener. We had a pretty good relationship before that, though."

Olsam blinked, beginning to doubt for the first time the wisdom in encouraging Teth to date. "Uh... Well. Maybe we could screen potential dates for psychiatric problems, hm? You know...to avoid another stabbing."

Teth looked Olsam deeply in the eyes, feeling as if he were about to cry himself, "I still love her." he said in sorrow, "But I just can't live with someone who wants to kill me."

Feeling depressed about his lost love he caitian picked up one of the beer bottles, opened it bare-handed, and drank the entire thing in one go. Having not had actual alcohol in some time, the effects hit him quickly. And in spite of how inebriated he already felt, and how much he despised the taste of beer, he opened the second bottle and began to down it as well.

"Uh," Olsam stammered, feeling like he was rapidly losing control of the situation. Thankfully he'd only set out two beers. "Well, um... That seems like a valid reason not to want to live with someone. I wouldn't want to live with someone who wanted to kill me, either. Do you think maybe dating again would help you move on?" He felt like emphasizing again that the woman had stabbed him might not be a good idea, though he certainly had the urge to do so. "Or, uh...maybe you should just take it easy for awhile. Ease back on to the dating scene...later."

Teth kicked his shoes off and sprawled himself across Olsam's couch. Spindly limbs in all directions, he resembled and enormous tarantula emerging from it's orb.

"You know, she's the only woman I ever dated. She was the only woman I ever was intimate with," Teth reminisced in his now drunken stupor, "And after our first night together, we fell asleep. I was so happy, the happiest I could remember being for a very long time. And then I woke up, I couldn't breathe because I had a letter opener in my throat and T'kora was straddling me, covered in my blood, screaming at the top of her lungs about how I was a Tal'Shiar spy."

Olsam realized his mouth was hanging open, and he snapped it shut. "Whoa. I could see how that might scar a person..." The Bolian fumbled for a pastry, never taking his transfixed eyes off Teth, and shoved the sweet in his mouth. "Then what happened?"

"Well, I tried my best to throw her off me, but that was a pretty difficult thing to do-what with the airway obstruction and the small fissure in my carotid artery. And you know, I wonder if Romulans didn't genetically engineer a race of gladiator women? Eventually I had my combadge in my hand and a letter opener in the other hand, she was in the floor in a pool of her own blood and then..."

Teth stopped, getting more and more choked up the farther ran into his diatribe.

"Apparently I hit her in the head with the wrought iron lamp she had on her nightstand."

Olsam had grabbed a whole tray of pastries and pulled his feet up on to the couch to use his knees for a table. He tossed one pastry after another into his hungry maw, wide-eyed and mesmerized by the story.

"Where is she now?" he asked, leaning forward in anticipation.

"She's an Engineer at Utopia Planetia, the last I heard. She was a brilliant engineer. This all happened while I worked at Starfleet Medical, neither of us pressed criminal charges." Teth said as he stretched onto his side, trying desperately to find a more comfortable position. He swore there was a broken beam in the couch.

"Due to her value as an engineer, she managed to keep her commission. She was sent to an intensive care inpatient rehabilitation center outside of New Berlin. I was put under inquiry by Starfleet Command. They eventually determined that I was not guilty of and serious improprieties. I was convicted of civil negligence. For which I served two days in the brig and was put on leave from my position at Starfleet Medical. Two months."

Olsam just stared, polishing off the whole tray of pastries. "Wow. I should have done my research..." He pointed to a spot on the couch that seemed to dip a little toward the back. "You have to roll there. That spot is the best." He leaned back to the table and replaced the tray. "Well, Teth, I'm very sorry that happened to you." He fell silent for a moment longer and reflected on his friend's difficult life. This was going to be a much more difficult task than he originally thought. It might require for a change in gameplan. "I didn't mean to push you about dating, I had no idea of the history involved... Have you talked to someone about, you know, moving on from T'kora? Maybe starting fresh with a...uh...screened date. A double date? A friend of a friend?"

"Sure, eventually. We live a long time, I'm still young. I just want to be more careful the next time. And certainly no getting involved with patients."

Olsam nodded his agreement, wheels already spinning as he thought about what might be done to help his down and out friend. Clearing his throat and turning his attention back to the present, the Bolian felt a deep amount of pity for his young friend now stretched out and seemingly near tears. Seeking to provide some means of comfort and love, Olsam held his hands out and motioned with his hands. "C'mon, bring it in."

Reluctantly Teth leaned in to Olsam, slumping into his embrace. He momentarily imagined so many of his human colleagues laughing at him. But he didn't care, he was exhausted and drunk and this was the first time he had managed to relax in weeks.

It occurred to him then that it was also the first time he had non-work related physical contact with someone in three years. Someone cared enough to take a moment and offer a gesture of comfort. And in that new-found feeling of security, the caitian fell asleep.

[OFF]

Lt. JG Olsam Mott, M.D.
Assistant Chief of Medicine
USS Galileo

&

Lt. JG Teth Miir
Counselor
USS Galileo

RSS Feed