Power & Control

Posted on 17 Feb 2014 @ 8:01pm by Commander Andreus Kohl & Petty Officer 1st Class Victarion Jaqen

1,697 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Episode 05 - Solstice
Location: Starfleet HQ Barracks - Lieutenant Kohl's Quarters
Timeline: MD 12 - 1400 hours

[ON]

After pacing back and forth around his temporary quarters, carrying freshly-replicated flatware to the dining table, Andreus Kohl had to stop to catch his breath. Such a chore would have been nothing more than a lark a month ago, but today, it left him doubled over. He braced his palms against his knees and he winced, cursing to himself loudly. His legs hurt, and the motor assist bands strapped to his limbs were blinking more rapidly than usual. That was when the door chime sounded.

Andreus straightened himself upright. His beard was neatly trimmed, but his hair was a ruffled mess. He was dressed casually in a cerulean v-neck shirt and grey shorts. He moved closer to the door in bare feet and he said, "Enter."

With the Galileo being refitted and knowing his services were not vital, Victarion Jaqen had requested leave...and sought out on purpose Andreus Kohl. It was not hard for Victarion to find people, not with his work. However, he did not mark himself today as a yeoman. Instead, he wore a white linen shirt over black, soft jeans, with boots that too had seen a lot of wear to leave them soft and easy to move in. His dark curls fell across his forehead as he entered and he looked at Kohl with surprise. He had not realised...not truly, anyway. Without a word he moved to him, frowning as he touched his chest. "You are not well," he said, because that was better than to ask the questions he had wondered about before. Instead, the statement meant the rest did not matter...Kohl was not well, and Victarion worried.

Andreus leaned towards Victarion, shifting his weight against the younger man's hand. He pressed his forehead to Victarion's forehead. "No, I'm not," Andreus said. His words were simple, and he didn't hide them behind humour, as he might normally do. "But I'm stronger today than I was yesterday. I am. I'm out of biobeds. I can go a whole day without medical assistance. I'm stronger."

Victarion nodded, watching him for a long moment. "And tomorrow, you will be even stronger," he said before leaning to kiss his cheek. "Let me get you something to drink. Sit down. Relax. I just wanted to...to see you. I needed to see you."

A smile was the only direct response Andreus gave. He wouldn't give in to Victarion's fussing, but he wouldn't dismiss it either. "They have shared kitchen facilities here. I cooked," Andreus said, sounding vaguely proud of himself. Victarion of all people knew that Andreus had been raised in a replicator-fed household. "If you're going to sit here and look at me, at least let me feed you."

"I want you to relax," Victarion said firmly, his eyes shining as he smiled gently. "Just sit down, shut up and let me make sure you are okay. I have time. I have lots of time right now and I wish to spend a good portion of it with you."

"Oh, not only do I have to sit down?" Kohl said in a mirthfully incredulous tone. He turned away from Victarion, and moved towards the dining table with slow and lurching footfalls. Once he dropped himself onto a chair, he asked, "I have to stop talking too, huh?"

"No, you can talk..." he said, smiling warmly as he moved to get them both something to drink. "If only because you have such a soothing voice. Now...want to tell me what happened?"

Kohl shot Victarion a pleading look that seemed to say, Don't make me say it. Then Victarion was giving his instructions to the replicator, and Kohl used that slight distraction as an excuse to break eye-contact. He fiddled with the cutlery, and he withdrew the lid from the serving dish in the centre of the table. "You must know already, in your position," Kohl said. His voice was diffident and reserved all of a sudden. "After action reports, casualty reports, and of course, the appointment of a new Assistant Chief Medical Officer."

"Yes..." he let out a breath, frowning as he carried the drinks over. He sat down, watching him. "But I file, Andreus. I...don't get details..." he touched his hand before gently gripping it. "And maybe you need to talk to someone about it. About all of this, you know?" he looked down, frowning. "I worried about you."

"I'm attending counseling," Kohl offered. He reached over with his other hand, and stroked the bottom of Victarion's chin with two fingers, encouraging him to look up. "You don't have to worry about that," Kohl said, nodding vaguely. His haunted sapphire eyes landed on Victarion. "The rest. Oh, the rest has been most worrisome. When the Borg vessel attacked Galileo in the Setisar Nebula, I was in Sickbay. A troop of drones came into my Sickbay." --Kohl stopped talking and he blinked and he swallowed hard-- "They were intruders, and they were a threat to my patients. I'm an officer, so-- so I killed one of them."

His eyes softened and he nodded, reaching to stroke over his cheek. "I...you are a strong man," he said gently, quietly. He knew Kohl was different than him. A lot. "You did something I never could do. And perhaps by now, for the wrong reasons."

Kohl's eyes were rimmed red. He flinched at Victarion's touch. "By man, don't you mean monster?" Kohl asked.

"Not a monster," Victarion's voice was firm as he gently gripped the side of his head, leaning close to rest his cheek against his. "You could never be a monster. Not to me."

"...But I took a life," Kohl said at little more than a whisper. He didn't move away from Victarion's embrace. "I vaporized a being. That can't be strength. I'm being punished for it, don't you see? I've been punished. There was another drone right behind it, and that one moved at a speed I've never-- It broke my hand when it swatted the phaser away. I struggled; I was terrified of assimilation; and it smashed me into a biobed. It left me paralyzed. It left me for dead."

Victarion watched him closely before kissing his forehead, closing his eyes tightly. "You are not being punished. You wouldn't be...you saved life. And you are a doctor, protecting your patients. It is what matters. That is what matters. You are not being punished..." he breathed, kissing his cheeks gently before pressing a kiss to his lips. "Forgive yourself."

Kohl kissed him back, at first gently, and then as if he were a man dying of thirst and Victarion's lips were the sea. He stopped kissing him, only to catch his breath. He breathed in through his nose and heavily out through his mouth, with his eyes still closed. "You should eat," he said. He opened his eyes. "You don't look like you're eating enough."

Victarion smiled gently, running his fingertips over his cheek. "I eat. And I will eat more," he whispered and leant to kiss his cheek. "I forgive you, if it helps at all. But I see nothing evil in what you have done."

"Perhaps..." Kohl said, and he looked at Victarion, and he nodded meaningfully. He shifted his posture in his chair and he reached across the table to lift the lid off pot. Inside, steam wafted from the ratatouille of vegetables and some meat. "But that doesn't change the rest," he said impassively. "My mobility is impaired and I've lost my position."

He watched Kohl closely before reaching to touch his cheek. "But both can be reclaimed...."

"Well, yes," Kohl remarked. He smiled fondly at Victarion, and indicated at the food with a nod. "Most every hardship in life is but temporary."

Victarion pulled back and reached for the food, his eyes gentle as he took a breath. "As is life, if you consider it that way," he said softly. "Do not give into the darkness. You are not alone."

"If I'm not alone," Kohl said tartly, "Where have you been keeping yourself, without a starship to serve?"

He met his eyes, taking a slow breath. "I have been...meditating. On what happened to the Galileo during the mission..." he said before frowning. "I would have come to you sooner, if I had known you wished to see me."

Kohl's eye-contact faltered, and all of his attentions narrowed on Victarion's lips. Kohl even reached out and touched that frown with a couple of fingertips. "What have I done," Kohl asked, "to make you feel like I wouldn't wish to see you?"

"Nothing wrong, I assure you," Victarion whispered as he reached to touch his cheek in return. "I just don't...see how you could like me. You are so much. Such a good man..." he touched his chest, searching his eyes. "You just need to love yourself as much as those around you love you."

"You think I don't love myself?" Kohl asked, sounding genuinely perplexed.

Victarion met his eyes, taking a deeper breath. "I think you blame yourself for a lot that wasn't your fault. What happened on the Galileo...it wasn't your fault. You...you were protecting your patients."

"Similar to how you are blaming yourself," Kohl asked, staring down Victarion, "for your inaction?" Kohl shook his head slightly. "Did you know, I had heard nothing about if you fought the Borg or not. And nurses are wicked, wicked gossips. If anyone thought less of you, I would know."

Victarion smiled gently, watching him before lowering his eyes. "Thank you," he said, meaning it completely.

"Do remember," Kohl said, and he waited until he caught Victarion's eye. "You have an open invitation here, and whatever quarters I may be sleeping in."

"I will take you up on it," he promised before leaning to kiss his hair as he stood. "And let me help you."

"If that's what you desire," Kohl said, as he looked up at Victarion, "I won't get in your way."


[OFF]

Lieutenant Andreus Kohl
Science Officer
USS Galileo

&

Petty Officer 1st Class Victarion Jaqen
Yeoman
USS Galileo

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