Civilised Man - Part 3/3

Posted on 09 Jun 2013 @ 12:54am by Raifi Zaren & Verity Thorne

2,965 words; about a 15 minute read

Mission: Episode 03 - Frontier
Location: USS Galileo: Deck 4 - Arboretum
Timeline: MD 04 - 10:40

Previously, on Civilised Man (part 2)...

The Trill shook his head sadly. "It's a nice thought, but it's simply not true. One life, in the scheme of things, often means next to nothing. Ideas are what last. Invention. Hope. The drives of an entire culture. Discovery. Truth. All these things. But life? Life is transient. Of course, you're right on one point - it isn't for me to give those lives. I never claimed it was; only that - were it mine to choose - I likely would. And I would hope with every ounce of my mind that every single individual would choose the well-being of infinite future generations over their own present." He paused, "Regardless, your question - is a lack of transparency in a paramilitary organization worth it, if that isolationist mentality helps to save a single life... My answer is no. It is not. Because of the dangers posed to every planet and species that relies on Starfleet to protect them. Because of Starfleet's own self-created code: to embrace new information, new cultures, to share and share alike, to promote well-being... You're in great danger of slipping from peacekeepers to floating police-states. If that hasn't happened already."

"Do you truly think so badly of the fleet?" Verity asked quietly, shaking his head slowly. "I don't see it that way. You're assuming that they have something terrible to hide. The only things that are kept secret are the things that provide safety to millions upon millions of civilians. Without the Fleet, many of them might not be able to live the free and democratic lives you speak of," he shook his head slowly, looking down with a frown. "They could possibly be overwhelmed by terrible regimes without the fleet to protect them, and all the fleet holds restricted are what they need to keep themselves safe, so they can continue to keep other people safe, and explore, and do all those things you spoke of. They can't go out into the stars and do those things if they are cut down by an enemy vessel because information on the ship's specifications get into the wrong hands, or details of the ship's shields and systems are leaked to someone who would truly wish to do us and and Federation civilians harm. What use are all those things you spoke of if there is no one left to uphold them? Because the line of defense was torn down by an enemy who would destroy them all. Like the borg. Or the Dominion. The things they restrict, they're not terrible secrets. They're the things we need to survive. And if we don't survive, then neither do our big ideas or art or achievements, not if an enemy turns it all to dust."

And now, the conclusion...

ON:

A laugh, quiet and pleased, rumbled in the Trill's chest. "I do my best not to 'think badly' of anyone. And I'm not assuming anything; only observing and putting facts in order. The more I observe, the clearer the pattern of the facts become. After all, not all police states are bad; some of them chug along quite swimmingly. They're not my cup of tea, but that doesn't make them all terrible." Zaren lifted his brows, "You are terribly loyal, aren't you? Loyalty's a good virtue, a noble one, but you can't let it blind you to the point where you hear challenges in the place of basic questions and find fear in logic. But let's ask the question, just for the sake of argument... How do you know that the only secrets kept are the ones that protect people? How, when you haven't access to the top tier of information? More faith?"

Zaren held up his hands. "I'm not saying the Fleet has evil intent, or even that their accidentally malevolent. What I'm saying is - they aren't perfect. No one is. Every individual in the universe is grayscale; not black and white. And groups of individuals are even more likely to slip and slide off and over the edges of what - to an individual - might seem ludicrous. Still, I've no problem with that. Imperfections are what make our experience so rich and complex and intricate. But my guiding light is Truth; in my experience, it is Truth that guides us as a community of sentient mortals. It informs us, keeps us honest, and helps us to learn, expand, and improve. And the Truth-" He folded his hands behind his head and continued speaking evenly and pleasantly from where he lay on the grass, "-is that - when it comes to Starfleet and the Federation - a great deal of relevant information simply isn't accessible. Together, they're a powerhouse: a centralized authority that draws together the upper echelons of so many civilizations."

The flowers, the grass, the lemon trees all warmed the air of the arboretum, engendering a freshness and vitality in their surroundings. "Keep in mind that I work for a news network that they support. That, in fact, they created for the express purpose of preserving transparency, as far as I've been led to believe. And right now, I'm on the Galileo on a story that the top tiers of Starfleet brass specifically asked to have covered. They want the activities and capabilities of this crew in the limelight to make the entire fleet look good. And still: hedging and shadows, a cafeteria and a garden. I've wider access on ships where I'm not supposed to be shining happy-glowing-impression lights everywhere I go; the story I'm supposed to tell here is one of bright possibilities. The power and ingenuity of the planetary sciences division of Starfleet. The promise of new worlds. The incredible excitement of resting on the edge of new discovery with minds that are brilliant alongside. And your Captain, and her XO, and Eve, and everyone else should have been told that. I'm sure that, at the very least, the Captain knows why we're here. In point of fact, she is the only person on this ship who has bothered to attempt speaking plainly for the benefit of the story. So how our fluff piece - to call it what it is - could be construed as anything that would be remotely threatening to those millions of lives you're so concerned about, frankly befuddles me. What I know for certain is this: if I return to the network at the end of this run with a long list of 'no comment's - I'm going to get an earful from the network and from Starfleet brass. And, likely, so will the crew of the Galileo."

"This isn't my first rodeo, love, and neither is it Trija's; the FNN didn't send us to the Galileo worrying about whether we were going to blow secrets about ship design or some secret flaw in the command lines. They know, and Starfleet's top brass know, that we both have a lot of experience in military situations; we know what is relevant as news and what is not, and we have very specific marching orders of our own. All that, plus Starfleet will get final looks at everything we gather before it goes through the networks. If they want to censor, that's between them and the FNN, and has nothing to do with us. So what follows, logically, is that the restrictions - which have next to nothing to do with Starfleet security at large, or risking those lives or empires you mentioned - are the prerogative of the Galileo's command staff, not the Fleet's, and it's that localized staff that is concerned about us learning what they're up to and what they've been up to. Again, I can't guess at what they might be hiding or why. I can't make any assumptions, because there's simply a void of information. But I've been around long enough to know that silence around a subject denotes something relevant hiding nearby and I can't just ignore that."

He looked at Verity calmly. "Questions are good things; they seem to be frowned upon within the military structure of Starfleet, but they bear asking all the same. Outside eyes are imperative to maintaining integrity." Idly, he toed off one boot, then the other, and wiggled his bared toes in the grass.

Verity remained silent, staring at the trees for a long moment, holding his breath. "I have always had loyalty and faith, in different ways, throughout my life. Not blind though. Considered. And felt. But yes, I'm loyal. I hope I always will remain so. Questions - it is strange. Questions are what Starfleet and the Federation are based on. What's out here - who's out here - what can we achieve - how far can we go - what can we do?" he looked across to him, shaking his head with a small smile. "Perhaps your answer is very simple. Perhaps some members of the crew are simply scared of getting in trouble for saying too much. Perhaps they worry they will go too far. Perhaps you should ask to see the First Officer and ask if Department Chiefs can pass down a message to the crew, so they know exactly what they can and can't talk about."

"My answer is only simple if you're not hearing the real question," Zaren answered obliquely. "Not that all the local distrust doesn't bother me - it does, of course. It would trouble anyone, I imagine. But, like I said, this story - it interests me, certainly, but with the boundaries I've been given by Trija and the network, it really isn't a priority. I can come up something on my own about discoveries on the edge of the known universe that will please everyone with big hats, should it come to that. No. The questions that I ask every day, the ones that loom larger in my mind with every passing conversation with Starfleet personnel on this ship and others... Those... answers won't come to me in this host's lifetime. Perhaps not even in the next. And when they do come, they certainly won't be 'easy'."

Leaning up on his elbows, Raifi studied Verity's small smile. Was everything really so very simple in his head? So single layered? Had the chaplain missed the true message that he'd been trying to communicate, or was he just choosing to ignore it? Choosing the path of least resistance. "What happened, on Earth, that made you leave your priesthood and seek out a new life in the stars?"

Verity watched him with surprise, the question catching him off guard. He leant back on his hands, letting out a long breath, feeling it catch in his throat with how it tightened. "I fell in love. Or at least I loved someone."

"And that made you question your faith?"

Verity nodded, watching his feet with a frown, letting out a long breath. It wasn't something he talked about, but he didn't lie either. If people had questions, he tried to answer them. "Yes," he said quietly, taking a deep breath. "I couldn't continue to be a priest if I couldn't keep my vows. It would be hypocritical. And a slight against the Priesthood and God. Now, I wish I never loved the person."

"Truly?" Raifi asked. "Because it took you from your vows? Or... was it unreturned?"

"Both," Verity's frown deepened, uncomfortable with speaking about it as he shook his head. "He wasn't worth it."

"Forgive me for my lack of knowledge about Terran affairs, but what promises did you make that loving would have broken them?"

Verity gave a weak smile, watching his hands, letting out a long, tired breath. "When I became a priest, I made a promise of celibacy. Remaining celibate is an important part of a priest's life."

Raifi's brows drew up. "Why?"

"So we can be completely dedicated to God and the Church," Verity met his eyes, shaking his head. "I couldn't stay, it would have been against everything."

The Trill rubbed the back of his neck, confounded. "I'm dedicated to journalism; doesn't mean I can't release physical impulses. Helps me to concentrate sometimes, in fact. Refocuses my mind. This isn't the case for your people? Because... I've been given a fairly strident impression that it is..."

Verity chuckled at the description of humans, shaking his head with a small smile, letting out a soft sigh. "No, only priests. It's in the rules. You can't be a priest if you don't make the promises."

"But you were. And you did. And you broke them. Does that invalidate everything you did while you were a priest?" Raifi asked out of pure curiosity, flummoxed by the entire notion. "Honesty and the bonds of promises are something we take very seriously, at home and abroad; once one of us has broken their word... it becomes very difficult to trust that person again. But it's not the same on Earth; you have... 'second chances', I think you call them? Though they often seem to happen more than twice. Cannot your Priesthood simply give you one of those?"

"~I~ couldn't give myself a second chance," Verity said quietly, shaking his head with a frown, his fingers feeling the grass. "It would be hypocritical, to advise and guide."

"Isn't that what you do as chaplain?" the Trill asked. "Advise and guide?"

"Sometimes, but it's not the same. I don't speak for the Church here. I don't represent God here," Verity said softly, shaking his head with a frown. "Others might not get it. But I know it would have felt wrong, and been wrong."

Raifi hummed. "So instead of speaking for your Church, or your God, you speak for Starfleet. How'd that switch come about? Did you join in order to travel? Or did you find yourself wanting to join after you'd been out without them?"

"It was a service with a chaplaincy. And a chaplaincy was the closest thing to what I used to do. I had to do something. I was going bad not doing anything - useful," Verity glanced to him with a half smile at that.

The Trill cocked his head and looked at his PADD, tapping in a few key searches to make sure he wasn't entirely losing his mind. Nope. "So... you left the Church. Because you didn't feel like you'd lived up to the promises you'd made and were unwilling to give yourself another chance. But the thing you did when you left the church was join an organization where you dole out spiritual guidance. Which - in my albeit limited understanding of the goals of the church - is what you did before. Just in a less... official... capacity? Are you one of the ones who believe your god is a task-master, or one of the ones who believe he's a forgiving sort? If you're supposed to give emotional support to others, does that mean you don't encourage them to forgive themselves for their imperfections? Or you do encourage them to, while not doing the same for yourself? Because it sounds to me like you found the closest possible job to the thing you did before, and the only reason you don't do what you did before is because you can't forgive yourself for your own chemistry." He paused, watching Verity's face. "No?"

Verity took a deep, painful breath, swallowing hard. "I understand what you're saying. I do. But - I can't help how I feel," he said quietly. "I made a promise to God. And I broke it. And I can't be a hypocrite. Here, I don't speak for God. I speak as just a person to another. It's all I could do. I know others probably don't get it. But that's alright too."

"Are you offended?" Raifi scrubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know when to stop sometimes."

Verity laughed softly, shaking his head as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Offended? No. I - am used to questions and scrutiny. It's just not easy to talk about all that. I'm sure you know what I mean."

"Not really," Raifi pulled a face. "I guess it's different on Trill - we're raised to be rigorously aware of ourselves, our motivations, and the motivations and truths of those around us. Leaving home, we have to learn - what is it you all call it... tact. The tactics of conversation. It's a lot more complicated than just being honest about everything. Part of why I stayed out of business like my brothers and went into journalism. Where Truth still reigns. At least for me." He shrugged. "But I'm sorry you find it difficult to talk about."

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault," Verity shook his head with a small smile, stretching out as he took a deep breath. "I should let you get on. I've taken your ear far too long."

"You did say you were going to take me on a tour," commented Raifi.

"You still want to?" Verity gave a half smile as he stood, looking down at him as he rested his hand on the small of his back, pushing his weight onto one leg and hip. "I didn't intend to take up so much of your time by bending your ear."

"Well, I'm not sure how much there is actually for you to show me, given what you've said, but I'm willing if you think there's anything I haven't seen."

Verity laughed softly, motioning for him to stand. "Come on, I'll take you on a walk..."

OFF:

Raifi Zaren
Journalist, FNN
USS Galileo
(pNPC Lilou Peers)

PO2 Verity Thorne
Chaplain
USS Galileo
(PNPC Scarlet Blake)

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