Sweet and Sour (Part Two)

Posted on 29 Apr 2013 @ 8:19pm by Lieutenant Kiri Cho

3,949 words; about a 20 minute read

Mission: Episode 03 - Frontier
Location: USS Galileo: Deck 2, Panne's Quarters
Timeline: MD04: 1940 hours

[Continued]

Maenad raised her eyebrows. "You want to change the way you think? I know that I would never be so brave to do it." She took yet another sip of wine.

"If I don't try to be braver and take risks socially, I'm unlikely to make myself very happy." Athen had made that quite clear for her, Cyrus and Liyar had driven it home and even though Dawn said she didn't have to change. It made sense to try, that it might improve her track record with regards to people. There was also taking into account that she needed to be as appealing as possible for a prospective relationship. There was a fair amount against her as far as experience went.

"Sure," she nodded, "but if you're disingenuous, or doing things that you don't want to do, then you'll wind up worse off, Kiri." Maenad gave a reassuring smile, though. "You do seem more confident in yourself."

That made her smile, "Thank you. I'll try, but I'm not really sure what I want to be. I love my job, it's everything else I'm trying to work out." She didn't want it to sound like she didn't want to be there any more, just her social life.

"You'll find yourself, Kiri. I think you're well on the way," Maenad insisted.

"Thank you, I'm glad you believe in me," Cutting herself a tiny piece of pork she smiled to herself for a moment, "What kind of music is this?" Dawn had done a fair amount to open her eyes back up to music, this was nice and calm. Maybe it would be nice to play while working?

"This is classical piano," Maenad said, shifting in her seat. She listened for a few seconds to hear which piece was playing. "This is Claude Debussy's Arabesque Numro; deux," she said the title in French without realising. He is one of my favourites."

"I see," Kiri popped the slice of meat into her mouth and savoured it for a moment, "I think I need to spend some time building a collection." It wasn't all that big at the moment and quite a bit of it she had already listened to death when she was younger. Searching for another topic she looked up, "Lieutenant Meridian played her violin for me last night, I think I might try some things like that as well."

"The new counsellor?" Maenad asked. She didn't say that she too played the violin.

"Yes, she is very helpful," The least she could do was praise Dawn for making time for her even extremely late at night.

"I haven't met her." Maenad finished her meal and poured herself another glass of wine.

Kiri wasn't sure if she should drink more or not, she'd only managed two sips so far. Picking up her glass again she blinked, "Would you like to meet her?" She was Kiri's friend and Maenad was her friend right? It would be nice if they could get along, it would be like when she was at home. It was nicer with a group, easier when she didn't have to carry the conversation.

Maenad didn't particularly like counsellors. "I'm sure that I will eventually," she answered diplomatically. "Can I get you anything else? Are you still hungry?"

Today she'd had a small bowl of congree and a salad and had done a full hour of physical exercise. She didn't feel that hungry but if she was drinking and and working, she should eat more. Finishing the last of her pork and gathering together the last of her noodles Kiri felt rather guilty, "Um, did you have anything in mind?"

"I meant more food," Maenad said, perplexed. "There's more. Or I can get you dessert."

"Yes please, if there is more," If it was already there then it wasn't that much extra effort. Taking a deeper sip of her of her wine that made her cheeks flush she winched slightly at the taste, "I was talking to Dawn last night, that it might be a good idea if I could find someone to share quarters with." It wasn't really something for Maenad but Kiri wanted to have opinions on her life, to make sure it was going the right direction.

Maenad got up, collecting the plates as Kiri talked. She went into the kitchen, putting her plate into the replicator and refilling Kiri's with a little more pork and noodles. As she came back to the dining table, Maenad couldn't help but hide her puzzlement. "You what?" she asked as she set Kiri's plate in front of her. "Whose idea was that?" Maenad took her seat again, sitting back and picking up her glass.

"Partly mine, but Dawn agreed it might be a good idea, with the right person," Kiri had such a urge to help clean she had to cling to her chair to stop herself. It we very unnatural for her to be served and more so by someone she knew, "I never shared a room before with anyone."

Maenad smiled. "Well, if it's something you both want to do," she trailed off, and it was difficult for her to hide her doubts. Just moving in with a stranger like that seemed very strange. "Are you not happy with your new quarters? I thought you would like more to yourself. Sharing quarters would mean you would have to downgrade to an enlisted room, Kiri. Officers' quarters have only one bedroom." She shrugged and took another drink. "How well do you know her?" There was something very odd to her about the whole thing.

Looking rather confused for a moment Kiri tried to work out how Maenad had gotten the wrong idea, well officially, "I didn't mean moving in with her, just someone, maybe." Dawn did seem to be the best choice at the moment but even her Kiri didn't really know that well. There were several other things to bring up though, "It was just an idea, my quarters are nice, but, rather lonely." It had been much more alive with Kohl sleeping on her sofa, someone to talk to in the mornings and evenings. As for the fact there was only one bedroom, she hadn't thought about that. But, "And, I thought there were a few family quarters on board, that aren't being used yet." It did rather complicate things though, losing her living space and having someone else share a smaller amount.

"I doubt that you and roommate would qualify for family quarters," she replied honestly. Maenad let out a long breath through her nostrils. Although Kiri seemed to have found more confidence in herself, there was still this same chord of loneliness. "If you're feeling lonely, maybe you should spend more time in public places. Work in the mess hall, eat with others. Use your quarters just for sleeping." She licked her lips and added, "Unfortunately being lonely is part of the job. It's how you cope with it that matters."

Kiri didn't want being lonely to be part of the job. There were almost a hundred people on the ship and when she was alone in a crowd to her it felt so much worse than being alone on her own. When there was someone to talk to, she felt better, when she was working she felt better. It was the times between those things where it ate away at her. Feeling a little giddy she placed down her glass, "I try, I did today when I had lunch. It just," She shouldn't be complaining but her mouth was starting to run away from her, "When the door shuts behind me, when its dark and I'm trying to sleep." Something made harder by the nightmares that plagued her, or waiting for the sleeping drugs to kick in, "I can't not think about it." Maenad had invited her to dinner and she was enjoying it, that was the sort of validation she wanted. Not just that people were willing to put up with her, that they wanted her around. That they would invite her to things and go out of their way a little, that was something she been getting more of. It didn't seem enough though, Lilou's meal, Maenad's, Kohl bringing her fruit, she wanted more of that. This was the first time in years it had come and she craved the attention.

Maenad listened, carefully watching as she spoke. She wondered whether Kiri had been abused as a child; there was something about her that dripped sadness, despair, and longing. But there was something selfish about it, too, which gave Maenad short tastes of frustration. "I don't know," was all she could say, tilting her head. She narrowed her eyes, as if to say more, but nothing came.

Picking up that there was something in the tone but not what it was Kiri shrank back slightly. She was being depressing, that must be it. This was meant to be fun, she was ruining it again. Taking a breath she forced a smile, "What do you think of Rojar so far?" A different topic would be better but she didn't have a very big list.

The morning's mission came to mind, followed by her fortunately short visit to sickbay afterward. Her first mission had been a harrowing experience and, even though she hadn't thought about it, would come to trouble her over the next few days. Maenad had never been so close to death before, but her mind had still yet to grasp it. The bursting console, even though it was only a partial blowout, could have been much worse. If Rhodes hadn't cleared the bubbling seas of lava, there would have been nothing left of her by now. She would have been gas and vapour in the atmosphere of an alien world. Maenad, however, wasn't thinking of all that right now. In a sense, she was still in a state of shock.

Maenad took a long sip of her wine. Her lips weren't sad, they were flattened into something resembling a pleasant smile, but her eyes were. She had already finished three glasses of wine by now. She had eaten little that day and she was starting to feel warm. She wasn't going to tell Kiri about what had happened; her injuries and still-tender skin were hidden beneath her shirt, and the bruising on the side of her face had mostly been regenerated. "It's been an experience I will remember for the rest of my life," she said truthfully, wondering to herself whether she ought to refill her glass. She decided that, yes, she should.

Was she meant to be drinking that much? Kiri really wasn't sure if she should be matching Maenad or not, her legs were starting to tingle though and her cheeks felt hot already. Falling in with another sip she looked at the additional food she'd been offered, "It's different from I expected, working with planets in detail rather than space." Of course she had practised doing it before but there were always other sources to reference. To be the first to do so though, there were no hints if she needed them and only her ideas.

"You must be excited, then, to be on a few of the away missions," Maenad thought aloud. "You've never been to a totally alien world, have you?

"No, but I am excited," Her way of expressing it was less overt than most people though, "It might be rather strange, I hope its not dangerous."

"As long as we take the right precautions," Maenad said flatly, "there will be nothing to worry about." She saw that Kiri had hardly touched her wine. "Do you not drink? I can get you something else, if you would prefer."

"I've, not really had wine before, it's not bad," Then squinting slightly, "Sorry, it's nice." Champagne once at the Academy graduation, rice wine a few sips at one of two formal meals at home. That was it, even though one of the village farms had a traditional vineyard most of it was sent away. This different, maybe stronger with a heavy fruit flavour, the glass was also far larger than the tiny cups and flutes she had before.

Maenad didn't think there was anything to be sorry for, so she just flashed her eyebrows as she crossed her legs beneath the table. She wanted a cigarette. What she really wanted was to go to bed, now that she thought of it - it had been a testing and exhaustive day. She eyed Kiri's food for a moment, then asked "What are your plans for the night?"

"I was going to check the probe paths once more and, if there is time maybe read a little bit before bed." They would be arriving early and Kiri planed to be be on the bridge when they did so. There were a lot of moons to work with so that meant a huge amount of data that needed to be processed. It needed to be reviewed, passed on to the right people and checked that it was all complete at the other end. That wasn't counting the away missions she would be on later, staying up late wasn't really an option. So it was a hypo-spray again for her tonight.

Maenad nodded and gave her a distracted smile. She was looking at her right hand, which was feeling stiff from her accident this morning. She flexed her fingers a few times before gradually looking away and back to Kiri. "What are you reading?"

"More of the Kingsbane books," She had brought them up last time she was pressed about what she read. Maenad's reaction last time made it more comfortable to talk about than with other people though, "I've been reading Ryan Rookroost's Arc now, it's quite good."

She remembered that Kiri read fantasy novels, but the titles and authors Maenad wasn't familiar with. Fantasy wasn't her favourite genre, by any means. She wasn't quite sure what to say, but she noticed that Kiri had taken any bites from her second helping. "You didn't have to take more," she said with a grin. "If you're full, you shouldn't overeat."

"Oh, sorry," Kiri had been holding her cutlery the whole time, "At home we don't normally talk while we eat, I just forgot." Turning a little red and looking rather sheepish she started to cut herself some noodles again, "Um, have you had time to read?"

"No, unfortunately," Maenad admitted. "I have been too distracted lately to read for pleasure."

"Oh," That made her feel guilty for finding time to do so, maybe she should do more work then so Maenad had more time? In head head she started to list the extra bits she could do as she took a small mouthful of noodles. Was that what made Maenad seem slightly distracted, was she tried?

There was a lot of stress in her life right now. Maenad had more than enough time to relax, but with her health problems, mixed emotions, tension with Stone, not being sure of where she stood with Lirha anymore, her physical training with Liyar, and wondering what Zaren really thought of her had left her scatterbrained. "It would be nice to be able to read again," she laughed at herself. "My head has just been all over the place."

"If you need any time off I take on some extra work, if you need it," Kiri wanted to know more, if there was a problem. Though she didn't quite realise it in actual terms, she cared for Maenad. She wanted her to be happy and have time for what she wanted to do, not that doing her job as well as her own would be easy. Work at least was somewhere Kiri was comfortable and could retreat from her own problems. There was nosiness too though and that was somewhat apparent. Kiri bore her own problems up, she didn't really hear anything in return. To the point where part of her assumed that Maenad didn't have problems of her own.

Maenad gave a dismissive wave of her hand. "Oh, that's not what I meant," she smiled. "I'm really quite fine. I meant that with all that has been going on lately, I can't concentrate on reading. I need to be in a very particular headspace in order to read." It wasn't untrue, but there was more to it that she deliberately left out. There was only one person with whom Maenad felt comfortable enough to whine, and that was Liyar.

That was part of why Kiri was offering, to give her that time. No meant no though so she wasn't going to repeat herself. Taking a bite of pork this time followed by a sip of wine she took a moment of silence before pressing every so slightly in another direction, "Are you okay, otherwise?" Whatever it was Kiri couldn't quite put her finger on it but Maenad wasn't the same as last time they had a meal. Was she less engaged? Or was their just less to talk about, Kiri had covered most of what had happened to her already.

"Yes," Maenad said as assuredly as she could. "I just live very monotonously." The only new thing that she'd added to her routine was the training she'd started with Liyar, but she wanted to keep that private. She didn't want people to know that she needed defense training, even if she didn't look like someone who was very strong. She could have talked about her new friendship with Zaren, but there was something going on between them that she didn't know how to explain. She thought that he liked her, that he had a romantic interest in her, but she preferred to keep her personal relationships quiet. "I'm sorry," she deflated somewhat, "I've just had a busy day, is all." It always irritated Maenad when she couldn't remain as statuesque as she would have liked. The away mission was bothering her and, despite all her tempts not to show it, she appeared distant enough that Kiri had picked up on it.

Falling silent for a moment Kiri wasn't really sure what to do. What else had she done today, lunch with Theron was something awkward and personal. She'd talked about Kohl and Dawn, what did that leave? That she had talked to that reporter yesterday, that she had talked to Ensign Nicholas for a while? Work shouldn't really be the topic but what else had she done, well it had to be one of those two so Kiri picked the latter. Starting to finish the smaller second serving she forced a smile that fell into a concerned look, "I talked to Ensign Nicholas for a little while today," Leading onto, "I heard about what happened," Not from him but it hadn't held itself as a private matter around the ship. Then trying to explain what she meant, "How do you deal with subordinates like that?" She didn't want to talk about work, yet without thinking it had come right back around.

Maenad tilted her head and breathed in through her mouth. She wasn't about to discuss with her disciplinary actions against her staff, or divulge too much about their personal files, but she could say a few careful words. "What happened to Ensign Nicholas was tragic," she said. "I will be speaking to the captain about how Mister Stone handled that situation," she swore. "I don't think people's personal relationships are any of my business," she explained. "You can do whatever you like as long it's private and not in the workplace, and so long as it doesn't affect your productivity or professionalism. Mister Nicholas wasn't on duty, did what he did privately with a consenting adult, and didn't affect the working of or department or any others." Maenad shrugged. Truthfully, she thought there was nothing wrong with what he did. "I told him to make sure that he follows those guidelines, and that if he does he'll have no trouble from me."

It was a personal thing but Kiri was her assistant, it felt odd to hear it from rumour rather a briefing, if that was the way it should be then she'd remember. What worried her a little was that she might have to deal with something like that one day. Really the fact that he did do such a thing changed quite a bit of what she thought about him, though she had managed not to let it affect her professionally. To her it was vulgar, showed badge judgement and made her question common sense, but none of that changed how well he could do his job. Quietly she replied, "I see, I was just wondering in case I have to deal with something similar in the future."

Maenad laughed quietly. "Kiri, you have much better judgement than he does. I doubt that you would ever be so crass."

Turning scarlet Kiri half wanted to stand up, "I would never," Her voice slightly shrill. To think that she would be anything like that, even remotely, "I meant as a superior officer, to the one involved." Her town levelled back down to normal as she took control and a breath, "Sorry," Another breath, "I don't want you to have the wrong idea, about me." She didn't want a single person anywhere to think she was that type of person, ever. Her head spun slightly, hands shaking ever so slightly.

Maenad frowned and narrowed her eyes. What was wrong with her? "I know," she said soberly. "That's what I said." She took a sip of wine as Kiri regained herself.

Kiri looked slight ashamed, that wasn't what she heard. There was a doubt, not a fact, but her reaction wasn't right. Was it the wine? The flush in her cheeks took a little while to dissipate, "Sorry, I just," Trailing off into silence Kiri couldn't think of a single word that might make the situation better. Finishing off her second helping instead she waited a few moments before looking up. Eyes fixing on the red fluid she looked focused for a second, "What kind of wine is it?"

"This is a Merlot from the Bordeaux region in France," she said, holding up the glass. "Do you like it? It is very traditional, not too fancy," she explained.

Kiri knew where Bordeaux was but had never been even though she spent months in Paris. It wasn't undrinkable and the after taste was fairly nice, the rest of it just didn't feel right to her. She caught on the idea of it being traditional though. In her books, well water wasn't safe to drink most of the time, so there was a lot of wine, beer and other drinks. So, this was like the books, so she knew what it was like. As the gears ticked over she smiled and looked closely at the glass, "It's nice, the same way it would always have tasted?"

"This vintage is only five years old," she said, twisting the bottle so she could read the label. "The longer it sits, the better it is - the more flavourful it becomes. But this particular wine is, in my opinion, best after five years." Maenad took a sip and held it up to the candlelight. "Merlot is more opaque," she explained. "It's dark in here, but even if you were to hold up a flashlight to the other side it wouldn't come through very well."


[TBC]

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Lieutenant (JG) Kiri Cho
Assistant Chief Science Officer
USS Galileo

Lieutenant (JG) Maenad Panne
Chief Science Officer
USS Galileo

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