Super Duper

Posted on 30 Nov 2015 @ 5:56am by Jynn

1,059 words; about a 5 minute read

What is to follow are the thoughts and words of a rather inept interrogator for the Terran Empire. He has been reprimanded in the standard procedure many times and is but one terrible report away from dishonorable discharge. And to be discharged dishonorably from Starfleet is a most terminal punishment...

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I hit the motherload! This has to be real! You just can't make this stuff up! When I send this report to the commander he's going to give me an immediate promotion.

He seemed very forthcoming, the Deltan. His information was just so, so alluring. I don't know what was more seductive. Him or his words. I suppose the information could have been made up, but why would he! The whole point of threatening is to extract information in lieu of permanent bodily harm and he was sure to oblige when I told him I was going to eviscerate him and decorate the ship with his entrails while he still breathed.

It just has to be real! And so here I go...

Computer, begin recording:

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This is the report of ensign Donald Davids of the Starfleet Corps of Interrogators. My subject, a Deltan by the name of Jynn who at first was supposedly a junior lieutenant in our mirror's own Starfleet told me the far more interesting and implicating truth of the matter with very little persuasion needed.

As per standard operating procedure I started by threatening the removal of one of his digits. I would count to ten for the first removal, and then I would count to nine for the second removal, and so on until he told me what I wanted to hear. Well, the deviousness of the threat must have worked, because I only had to count to nine the first time before began to tell me his true nature.

Apparently he's some sort of special agent for a group that goes by the acronym of L.I.E. He said he didn't know what it stood for and that no one did. Not even the organization's highest ranking member; Sanford Scolex. It sounded foolish, but even as I was about to extract a molar or two he was quite insistent and so I let him keep his teeth. I believe the existence of such a secret organization to be highly possible. Our own Starfleet has more than a handful of secret organizations. What's to say their's doesn't have one or two?

So I pressed on. Why the pilot? Why some know-nothing hotshot and not their captain or some other high ranking officer? “Exactly,” was what he replied. He said that we would never suspect the pilot and that that was why he was chosen for the job. It's quite brilliant, really. The one you least expect is the one you should most expect and this information just goes to prove it!

Apparently he was assigned to their ship to test a new super-weapon. He initially was hesitant on giving me the name or capabilities of the weapon but when I took out the cattle-prod he almost exploded with the information. I swore he'd encountered one before and so I didn't even have to use it for him to know the pain it caused. He relented, and in doing so he told me of the most disturbing part of the whole mission he was a part of.

The De-Universing Phasic Energy Device. A literal universe ender, powered by Illudium Q-36, it could completely wipe our universe from all existence. He was to bring it to this universe and sacrifice himself and the crew and in the process bring about an end to our entire existence. Apparently this universe was deemed too much of a threat by the L.I.E. and so it was determined that the best course of action would be to simply make it cease to be.

But it was a dud! He sounded shocked, though part of him seemed happy to be alive. Said that previous tests had lead to at least one universe being turned two or one-and-a-half dimensional! What power! I threatened him with the removal of irreplaceable organs where he to not tell me more of the weapon, but he told me he was merely in charge of its delivery and that he had no idea of how it worked. All he could say was that the flux capacitor, whatever that is, couldn't properly quantify the Illudium Q-36 and that a chain reaction was not attained. But he knew nothing else. Just how to set it off. It makes sense, really. Why send someone with intimate knowledge of the weapon on a fools errand? He was going to be erased along with the rest of us. Why let any useful mind go to waste?

So why tell me all of this? Why be so forthcoming with all this information? Well, and this is when he sounded most sincere. Why I could tell for certain the rest of what he said was true. He asked for asylum. Pleaded. Begged. He said it would be no effort for him to blend in with human society. Said that in his own universe he was being sentenced to prison for the rest of his life. Something about a gilded cage and the prospect of being home being the worst thing that could happen to him and how now even the home he called his universe was seeming more and more unwelcoming.

So I told him we could protect him if he'd aid in any way in the construction of our own D.U.P.E.D. He said he knew next to nothing but that he would do anything he could. I don't think he's holding anything back and I don't think he knows much, but I told him we'd help him. Of course we could just throw him out the airlock come morning, but I think he should be given a chance. He was quite possibly the most charming and attractive subject I have ever met. I say with certainty that he'd make the perfect edition to the ranks of the Terran Empire, alien or not.

I submit this report as completed and closed. Awaiting orders on the fate of captive Jynn.

End Report

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