Kiri Cho's Great Expectations, Part One

Posted on 22 Jul 2012 @ 11:10am by Lieutenant Kiri Cho

1,789 words; about a 9 minute read

Earth, South China, Guangxi
Stardate 62040.9

[ON]

The sun was setting behind the hazy, tree covered mountains. Scattered across the landscape they stuck up like teeth in a giant maw. Water running between their bases with towns and villages covering whatever land wasn't covered by farm or forest. Deep in the heart of Guangxi province, up a three mile trail to the neatest town and set into the side of one of these domed mountains was Xiandin Village. This was the evening that four years, two months and two weeks ago Kiri Cho filed her application to Starfleet Academy. The day before her high school grades had been made official. She'd come top or near top in every one other than sports, in theory she could do anything she wanted. Going to university on almost any planet in almost any field. Kiri feared a lot from all that though, she'd never really left home. Sure there were trips and even the odd holiday to other places on Earth and even the Moon. But never had she left her physiological shelter of her home, her parents, her family.

That morning she had talked at length to her mother about her options, trying to find the part inside herself that was honest about what she wanted. It was her mother that was doing most of the probing. Kiri always found it hard to be really honest with her, ever since she was little. Her mother was a red haired, rounded woman with slight freckles and an energy that got most people get absorbed in her enthusiasm. Her voice was kindly, as a mother should be, "So your sure that you don't want to do something creative, art, writing or," She paused as she waited for a reaction, "Music?" While her daughter didn't play an instrument, Holly loved to hear her sing, normally when she thought no one was listening.

There was one person in the entire world that Kiri didn't want to disappoint more than any other. It was this reason that she found it normally impossible to tell her mother the truth. Starting from when she was five years old she promised herself never to make her mother upset again. So it was hard to say no to her on anything. Her mother was a painter, a great one as Kiri saw it and it was something that she wasn't that bad at. She'd never really talked about following that path or not, but part of her felt she should. Even if it really held no real interest for her. If it wasn't for the fact they had been chasing around for an hour now she wouldn't have been able to answer, "I'm sure mum." Wearing a small smile while sitting across the table from her.

"Okay," Holly did find it annoying sometimes that her daughter tended to be so formal, even with her. But that seemed the way Kiri was, Holly blamed it on her mother in law. Quite a bit of Kiri's behaviour seemed influenced by that domineering woman. But this was a nice activity for the two of them, "So, that leaves us with you studying sciences, I know you like math so do you want to do that, or something else. What do you really want Kiri, what could you do for the rest of your life?"

At seventeen years old Kiri didn't find it odd in the slightest to be choosing the rest of her life. It required something from her, her desires and wants which were things she frequently repressed. Listening to them was almost like trying to listen to another language. It was a long silence before she was finally able to answer, "I want to join Starfleet." The declaration was followed by a deep breath. Most of her friends were joining Starfleet, the few she had. It was also one of the only ways she could see herself going into space. She'd never talked about it to anyone before, but it seemed logical.

Holly looked quite surprised. Her little girl who was quite independent rarely seemed to venture beyond the small area she lived in. She would worry if it didn't seem that Kiri was quite happy with things being that way. Going to the other side of the planet to study to leave it and go as far away as possible didn't seem like the daughter she knew. Still, Kiri rarely seemed to be so certain about things. With a look that showed her confusion still she put her hands together, "If that is what you are sure you want, but what will you study there?" The idea of losing Kiri was one she had considered but not what she wanted to confront. She didn't want her baby girl to grow up.

In front of her Kiri had a pad that listed the universities on Earth she had considered. Talks between her mother and herself about these sorts of things often went the same way. Kiri would go through all her options and either narrow them down or select the one she felt was what her mother wanted, or was expected of her. Then she would wait for her mother to either suggest it or allow Kiri to guide her to it. This time however it was entirely different, Kiri had somewhat made up her mind but was far too scared to tell her. There were other options that might make her mother happy. Yet she wanted Kiri to choose for herself, if it wasn't for that she might well have chosen something else. In her heart though, from what she heard when she listened, she wanted to be in space. While home was home, space was where the new discoveries in physics would be. To see stars from thousands of different planets as well as discovering new things. There was also the chance there was somewhere else that she belonged. Speaking softly she looked slightly concerned, "I'd liked to study science, astronomy." Her favourite part of life was studying maps of space, learning about all the different states of matter out there. It was fun for her, one of the things she looked forwards to. To do that every day seemed like it would be enjoyable.

Holly was starting to feel like she wasn't needed, still it was nice that Kiri asked for her help at least. Her daughter was one of the brightest people she knew when it came to science things or just about anything from a book. Would Kiri be able to cope with this though? There were so many things that could go wrong. "So, are you going to be doing a one year course, going to university first?" That seemed to suit her daughter more if this was the direction she was going.

Kiri shook her head, feeling as if she was betraying what he mother wanted for her now. It was hardly something she can back out of, "I am going to apply to train as an officer." When Kiri started something she generally attempted to obtain maximum possible accolades. Being an officer also gave her a lot more flexibility to do what she wanted.

Holly let down her curly hair from its bun and started to pull it into a tail as she gave a small smile, "Sweetie, I've never seen you give orders or be a leader. I know you are smart enough if this is what you want but, I don't know if its really you. Are you sure, really sure?"

Looking deflated now Kiri glanced down at the table. Her mother was right, she hadn't lead anything before. It was something she had glanced over, avoiding that being an officer actually meant she had to be an officer. It was a sacrifice, to gain access to top of the line technology and a ship as well as other people to work with. It would be next to impossible to do it on her own. To buy a ship and a sensor array, find and fund a crew of experts and then go out distant space. She would also have to be even more of a leader, unless she could find someone else to do it. To get what she wanted, Starfleet was really later. It wasn't something she wanted to lie about though, "No, but I think it is the only way."

"The only way to what honey?" Finishing with her hair Holly reached across the table and pulled on Kiri's left index finger. Giving a more comforting smile, it was dawning on her that time with her daughter at home every night was coming to an end.

"I want to discover new stellar objects, star, asteroids and nebulas, I can't do that on Earth. I have to become an officer and learn to do that," Then she backtracked somewhat, "If it's okay with you?" It was nice to have contact from her mother, but so far she hadn't received an endorsement. What her family thought of her mattered a lot.

Letting go Holly patted her hands on the table, "Kiri, if you are sure you can do it then I agree. But you have to be very careful. It's important you follow your dreams sweetie." Then pressing a question that she'd picked up on, "Why couldn't you just tell me that? You decided it before we started talking right?"

Kiri looked very uncomfortable, she had hoped her mother wouldn't notice. Now she was ashamed, now honesty seemed like the only option, "Sorry mum. I just, I didn't know how to, explain." Pushing her lips together in an unusual display of negative emotion she added, "I'm sorry I disappointed you." Tears wanted to pour out of her but fear kept them in place, welling them up inside her.

Sensing the rare emotion Holly at once stood up and pounced on her daughter, latching onto her like a limpet and squeezing her close. Placing her chin on Kiri's head she half picked her up, the Trill was smaller and lighter than her adoptive human mother. Coddling her she spoke softly, "You are the best daughter I could have ever hoped for, you've never been a disappointment." She squeezed her again, swinging her side to side a little.

Kiri acquiesced, she liked being held. It was something that seemed to happen very rarely these days. Falling a little limp she relaxed, placing her arms loosely around her mother, not saying anything. It was a relief, it brought a wide happy smile to her face. Everything was good, her mother was happy with her, she was going to apply for Starfleet. That left one hurdle, explaining it to her grandmother.

[End of Part One]

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