Cold Feet

Posted on 30 Mar 2013 @ 12:09pm by Commander Andreus Kohl

367 words; about a 2 minute read

Andreus Kohl's Personal Log, supplemental.

I have. Been Assigned. To an orbital survey. An orbital survey of Rojar I. I don't know what that's going to be like. No, that's not what I'm feeling... I don't know what I'm going to be like in an orbital survey aboard, uh--

I've never been personally involved in an orbital survey before. I can remember some of the planetary sciences classes at the academy, and I understand how to operate sensors, but I've never had to put any of that knowledge to constructive use before. It was sitting there, taking up space in my brainpan, but I assumed it was self-indulgence. Learning those things was an exercise in broadening the mind? Or whatever? But, no, this isn't what I'm anxious about. Maenad isn't going to ridicule me for being more familiar with biology and sociology than space-rocks and gravity-things. Even after how angry she was for missing the indicators of her anemia-- she's not going to do that.

I suppose I could be anxious about leaving Galileo again. Setting off in-- setting off without Galileo's protection, when there could be Romulans or Borg out there? Pola wanted the medical staff to be prepared; she assigned readings and EMH lessons about Romulan and Borg physiology and treatment... I'm not sure how prepared I'll feel if there's a Borg cutting laser out the viewport-- but that's not it. I can't wrap my head around another battle or intrusion. I completely segregated myself from the crew, from my life, to prepare for my certification examinations. My focus has been so narrowed this past week, I can't seem to de-magnify my viewscreen. Kiri thought I had gone, that I had completely left Galileo forever. That's what she thought and that behaviour of mine feels fare more worrisome than ifs or maybes with the Romulans.

I need perspective.

I need to get out of my own head.

I need to get on an away team using the transporter instead of-- instead of a shuttle.

...I haven't been aboard a shuttle since my dad died.

Computer, end log.

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