Kiri Cho's Great Expectations, Part Four

Posted on 14 Feb 2013 @ 3:40pm by Lieutenant Kiri Cho

1,806 words; about a 9 minute read

Earth, South China, Shin Pel
Stardate 62048.45

The afternoon was edging on, the crowds outside were thinning as they normally did. Having left the cafe behind them Kiri and Trisha were now sat on a bench that looked out over the river. Sellen had excused herself, citing that she had work to finish up. Now that they were alone Trisha, dressed in all her finery posed the question, "What's wrong?" Her tone a motherly one, wrought with concern for the person who she couldn't really read. Knowing to keep her physical distance less Kiri feel pressured further.

Having sat in silence for a while Kiri felt rather besieged. She thought that her friend was fully capable of reading her mind, despite what she said. That was something that had hampered their friendship at first, Kiri worried that her privacy would be invaded. Trisha had assured her it wouldn't be time and again and over the years Kiri had grown to trust her, even consenting to allowing it later. She didn't quite believe it when Trisha said that she couldn't read her mind very well, feeling that it was something she said just to comfort her. The item that was the matter was one most personal, not one she really wanted to talk about. Her grandmother must have her own reasons, in several ways she was right. As she often did, it was a problem that Kiri was running away from. Her voice carried her confused reluctance, "I don't really want to talk about it."

"I do," Trisha retorted as soon as Kiri finished, "There won't be another chance in a long time Kiri." After today, chances were she wouldn't get to see Kiri for very long if at all before they moved to different parts of the solar system. Both were going to be very busy, any problems she felt had to be fixed now.

She had Sellen's confidence, she had her mothers but she didn't have her grandmothers, or truly her own. Sellen she trusted completely, her mother had no record of really lying to her, then neither did her grandmother. Looking uncomfortable she answered, "I know, but."

Trisha cut her off, "I won't tell anyone, I won't judge you but you have to talk to someone at some point about it, else you'll explode," Pulling her hands apart with the appropriate sound effect, "Please?"

Feeling rather trapped, Kiri looked hard at the water. It took time for her to unlock all the gates, to even let a little of what she was running from seep out, "I, don't, no, I, I don't know if I can do it. I'm not a leader, I'm weak, I get scared, scared of everything. I'm a coward,"

Holding up her hands Trisha stopped her, slipping her left hand into Kiri's, "I know some things about you Kiri. You always help us out, you care more about our feelings than your own. You have all these things inside you that you hide when it would be easier to scream and cry. So you aren't weak." She squeezed, "If you really think you can hide everything inside for the rest of your life, then go ahead, I think you could make a go of it. Being a leader you can learn and you might well be good at it, being scared can be good as well," With her defences down she could read more of her mind, "Home will always be waiting for you." Trisha thought this was the advice to give, though even she was rather at a loss as well.

Restraining herself Kiri took a deep breath, if there was strength in hiding, she could be strong. She hadn't thought of it that way, it would help her a lot, it would also hinder a lot. Rather than the frank response of Sellen or the motherly one from her mother, this was one that was different. It reassured her in a different way, squeezing back she remained quiet, thinking hard about all of it. Being alone with Trisha was nice, even in silence. A silence that lasted almost for an minute, by then Kiri had transformed somewhat, someone stronger, "I'm doing it, I'll do it well." Letting go of Trisha, "Will you work with me, one day?"

Trisha had been watching a boat slowly drift along with the water. It was with a very wide grin that she answered, "Yes, I'd love to serve under you Kiri, just don't be too strict." Nudging the other girls knee she stuck out her tongue. Considering it for a moment she added, "I don't think I could ever be an officer, I'm just not responsible enough. I just want to poke things with tiny needles and grow dishes of pretty coloured bacteria." Trisha was joining Starfleet to escape her grandmother, it gave her great excuse not to move to Betazed. Biology was just what she was best at, something that would let her get accepted. While she was quiet and lacked confidence, she knew Kiri could do just about anything, at least from what she saw. Sellen was better at solving problems when it came to pure maths, overall she'd call it a tie, not that Kiri would.

Giving a small smile Kiri walked over to the water, looking at it carefully, "I'll miss here." Here it was quiet and peaceful, home, somewhere she knew, it was part of her.

"Me too, but there will be new things," Trisha stood up and joined Kiri, shifting her sash as she did so.

"New things?" Kiri knew that there would be but wondered what her friend meant by that.

"New people, new situations, new friends, don't you think?"

Kiri looked rather concerned at that. She didn't make friends often, it didn't seem easy. Fact was though she had never tried, it was a part of her that never developed at all. Sellen was her first real friend, she just happened to sit down next to Kiri one day and kept doing so every day. It was Sellen that once asked her to explain something that after three weeks actually started their relationship. It was then that they started to eat together and talk almost entirely about mathematics and science. T'Nell was the only other Vulcan in their school, he joined them a few days later but was more interested in machines and engineering, though he did talk about mathematics when prompted. They were the two that Kiri felt the most kinship with, life was about working very hard and not a lot else, there was never any conflict. It was a month later still that Trisha and her friends Hurn and Vishanitta joined in. Kiri was never sure quite how that happened, Trisha was sullen compared to Visha who so cheerful all the time it was rather creepy. Someone who also had a new boyfriend every week and to Kiri's dismay enjoyed talking about every detail. Hurn also talked a lot, normally about food, cultures that were strange and a very large extended family. Lastly Trisha was, a lot like her mother. Emotionally she was the one closest to Kiri, as close as anyone could be.

All this had just happened, no effort on her part. Luck and the kindness of others, if they had just approached her, she'd have just shied away, told them she was busy. Because she found a friend by chance and it grew from there, it flourished. Because she didn't try that part of her didn't grow, it remained the same as the five year old that retreated from the world. Making friends easily with other people, expecting relationships to happen just as quick on both sides, not really understanding any of it. As of yet though, she had no idea how ill equipped she was for it, lulled by unearned success. Right now that did seem rather easy, after all wouldn't everyone be like here there? Everyone working as hard as they possibly could for every working hour? Experts in the same field, the same dreams? Inside though she still disliked the idea, "I suppose so." Outside of her friends, she was just as afraid of everyone accepting her as she was as a child.

"Not excited about that," Trisha grinned, "How about finally getting a boyfriend?" Resting the urge to tickle her teasingly.

"No!" Kiri wanted to stamp her feet but instead just frowned, "I don't, well," Turning a very deep shade of red, "I don't think that is going to happen."

"Not if you are going to act so frumpy and defensive," Trisha flicked her hair out and smiled, "What kind of person do you even want, if you could?" This was the first time she had ever really been able to get Kiri to open up about these sorts of things.

Shifting her hands uncomfortably Kiri hadn't really given that matter much thought, "Just someone that is nice, smart and likes being around me." There were other little things but Kiri wasn't really sure about sharing those, even what she had said felt too much, "What about you?"

"My Grandmother came because I'm being betrothed," Trisha shrugged and twirled on the spot, "He is nice, handsome and has just finished medical school, it could be worse."

"Oh," Honestly Kiri thought that might well be easier, if her grandmother and parents picked someone for her to marry. At least then she would skip this social game that she didn't even know the rules for, "As long as you are happy."

"Yeah, we'll see," Trisha seemed a little flatter now as she moved closer to Kiri, "It's not like I'd actually have to spend any time with him if I don't want to." Her jewellery jangled with each step, "I'm guessing you wouldn't want to date a telepath would you Kiri?"

"No, I don't think so," It was something she found hard to even make friends with Trisha because of. But really, anyone being that close to her. Kiri liked having the idea of someone strong to protect her, smart to talk about things she liked and caring enough to let her try and be normal. But for someone to touch her body, see her skin, share that much time with her, those were scary. They were things that would mean she had to risk being rejected, that wasn't something she was ready for.

"I'll keep my eyes open for you," Before she could say much more though, something rippled across her mind. Standing up Trisha saw her mother standing in the distance, time to go. Turning to Kiri again she let out a sigh, "I'll give you a call as soon as I can." Moving as fast as her elaborate outfit would allow Trisha headed away, stopping only to wave goodbye, leaving Kiri on her own.

RSS Feed