Chief Counselor's Personal Log #29 - "You Can Go Home Again, But Will It Still Feel Like Home?"

Posted on 30 Dec 2023 @ 10:50pm by Lieutenant JG Delainey Carlisle

396 words; about a 2 minute read

I've been reposted to the Galileo.

I must have replayed the sentence in my mind at least a million times since I received the orders, and I still can't quite believe it.

In fact, I laughed out loud, a truth I don't mind admitting to you, Computer, the device who has always been my best confidante, even if making you my confidante is compulsory for myself and every member of Starfleet.

My laughter, far from being a sign of pure joy, erupted from a mix of many emotions. Chief among them, I suppose, was surprise. I couldn't imagine (and still can't) it is commonplace to be reposted to the same assignment after several years away. Am I part of some obscure Starfleet statistic now? Who knows?

Beyond that, I can't help but wonder why I, Delainey Carlisle, have been given this assignment. Have you been telling tales of my unfinished business, dear Computer?

You would certainly know, and if it was you, or perhaps the team of psychological experts behind your technological curtain, I must give them credit for the creative way they've required me to confront my past here.

Referring to my 'past' with the Galileo suggests something salacious, but the truth, while lacking in juiciness, certainly doesn't lack emotional honesty: I was slowly burning out, feeling trapped by the weight of an entire crew's mental health on my shoulders surrounded by leadership that not only failed to appreciate my efforts and responsibilities, but struggled to accept accountability for their actions.

Any Starfleet counselor worth his or her salt doesn't give a damn about being thanked, but to be made to feel irrelevant is a whole other kettle of fish. Lirha, perhaps you and I will have that sitdown some day, but for now, I have some new bridges to build.

Unfinished business aside, I am grateful to be going back to a place I once called home. When I was first assigned, I admit, I wasn't sure what being a counselor aboard a science vessel would be like, and I'm ashamed to admit, I feared I would be bored.

Having had the privilege of fighting and discovering alongside this particular crew, I can confidently say even though much will have changed, I am certain serving aboard the Galileo will never be boring.

I can only hope I still have the energy to keep up.

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