Musings of a Science Officer - Personal Log 6

Posted on 05 Dec 2017 @ 5:17pm by Lieutenant JG Gideon Nicols PhD

1,654 words; about a 8 minute read

Rejected!

Gideon stared at the one, lone word; his dark brown eyebrows furrowed in confusion and a bit of shock overcame him. Even though he had applied, he wasn’t a hundred percent that he would have gotten accepted, so why was he so shocked or even confused by this? There was no explanation given, which had surprised him as well. Typically there was given a explanation when an assignment wasn’t given or rescinded. Something seemed… off, and he really couldn’t put his finger on it. His other applications were accepted, but yet…

“Computer resume personal log…

“I want the Galileo-A assignment! I know, I know, that isn’t like me… I don’t even know what is driving me to want it so damn bad! Maybe, it’s the fact I was rejected--I have never been rejected. All of my previous assignments just fell into my lap, maybe I had gotten lucky in that regard, but still…”

He leaned back in his chair and laced his long fingers behind his head. He exhaled as he looked at the screen of the desktop workstation. He stared at it for a long time, a stream of thought going through his mind. He wanted this assignment because it was a mission that would take him into uncharted territory. It was a deep space mission that would take him far away from earth for long stretches, which was just fine by him. He knew deep space assignments that were months and years long weren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it was his. It was how a scientist could get research done, a lot of scientists—including him—did their best work in the field, which was deep space.

So yes, he wanted the Galileo-A for that reason, but he also want it for another reason. He wanted it because he wanted a place to belong again. His original assignment was to the original Galileo and that didn’t even come to fruition, he felt like Starfleet owed him.

“Starfleet owes me…”

He again paused, this time he leaned forward and folded his long arms in front of him.

“Okay, that isn’t true. Starfleet doesn’t owe me anything, if anything I owe them for giving me the opportunities that I’ve had. But damn, I want that assignment. I know what this is; it’s my ego getting bruised, right? Even though I just told myself that I expected to be rejected, I didn’t actually think it would happen. And why did I NOT think that? Because my ego is as big, if not bigger than myself, my ego was bruised in someway. Some captain sits there looking at crew applications and personnel files and just rejects them based on what? Based on a gut feeling? Based on experience? Based on hoping for someone better?”

Gideon growled in frustration at that and slammed his fist at that thought. He was good, he was very good at this job, and a very good officer. He played by the rules… mostly, but he didn’t get where he was just by sitting on his laurels; sure he was 38 and only a junior lieutenant, but that was okay. He may have not risen up in ranks, but he had in position and that meant something. Or at least, it counted for something.

Besides, he didn’t care about rank, he wasn’t hell bent on trying to get to the four pips as quick as possible. Sure, would it be cool to get a captaincy of a science vessel one day? Maybe… possibly… probably not… but having the option would be nice. For right now, he was perfectly content, science was first in his life and that was what matter.

“Computer pause personal log…”

Gideon reached for the controls on the desk terminal and brought up a new message document. At first he was just going to rant to his personal log and accept one of the other assignments that wanted him, but no, that meant giving up on something he felt really strongly about. Gideon Nicols did not give up!

Re: Rejected –

Good afternoon. Hi, me again, Lieutenant Gideon Nicols. I had applied to your vessel the other day for the research officer position and got the rejection? Yep, I’m sure you remember me now. Annnnyway… I was just wondering as to why it was rejected? Was it because of a better applicant? Was it because there was some glitch in my file you weren’t sure about? Was it because you didn’t like my face or that I tower above most people? Did you reject it because you wanted us to come groveling and begging for the position?

Well… for some strange, inexplicable reason, I have come crawling back instead of just ignoring the fact you rejected my application without an explanation—which by the way is sort of rude. I am fairly certain people just don’t get rejected without an explanation or without even asking a question to clarify something. Maybe it was a simple mistake, maybe you hit the reject button prematurely, I’m not sure because I don’t know who you are…

I may have just shot myself in the foot here but sometimes one just needs to fight back and demand answers. We are Starfleet, we are adults, and I’m assuming you got a command because you are fair and just, and who knows, maybe even likeable. But still, if a professional, well-articulated, and polished application doesn’t snag your attention then what will?

My personnel file speaks for itself, sure it has all my pertinent information, the awards, the education, the research projects and my published work and break throughs… but so what? That doesn’t speak anything about me personally, right?

Yes, I have flaws, yes I one time had an inappropriate relationship with an instructor, and yes there was that one time I got caught skinny dipping and yes more recently I posed nude with a Romulan for a young Orion artist, but guess what, I am flawed because I am human and I learn from my mistakes.

But beyond those flaws, I want this position because I am driven to uncover all that I can in this vast universe of ours. I’m a scientist for a reason, and that isn’t just to be a teal collared numbered body to just fill a roster or a quota on six foot five inch scientists. No. I became a scientist because I wanted to help Starfleet and the Planetary Sciences Division expand its knowledge of our galaxy. Extended and long-term missions are made for scientists and they are made for scientists like me who have the drive and motivation to expand on that knowledge. You see my background; it is varied and has a lot of positives. Don’t let my rank of junior lieutenant fool you either. Rank is non-consequential to me; you can see that I have had senior positions without all the pips on my collar.

Why do you ask?

Because I am good… no, that is an understatement, no it’s because I am damn good at my job. It’s also because they valued my work, my know how and my intellect. They trusted me, they sought out my expertise, and they knew I took my job very seriously. I think you should reconsider me, you are going to need a good research officer and scientist out there, and that person is going to be me!

Your next research officer,
Lieutenant Junior Grade Gideon Nicols, PhD (yep that’s right, there is a professional, academic title behind that name…)

He gave the response a once over, checking for spelling and grammar errors. Everything was fine with that and then sent the message. A sigh of relief followed and the tension he felt moments earlier in his shoulders began to let up. There was no regrets, in fact he felt better for saying what he needed to say.

“Computer resume personal log…

“I’ve decided to send a response to my rejection, and I can tell you my response was much more thorough than what I received. I know it was ballsy, but sometimes I wonder who these commanding officers think they are? Don’t they realize they were once like us, in the lower ranks? The CO is probably some old foggy who has lost touch with what it actually means to strive to do our best as officers or as scientists, or engineers, or security, or whatever your specialty is. Also, I think these COs also forget that not everyone is a line officer who wants their own command. Ambition isn’t just about rank, or title or position after all…”

Gideon shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“I don’t have any regrets sending the response because you know what, sometimes things just need to be said. I doubt it will be well received, but it is what it is, sometimes these COs have to have it pointed out that their decision is wrong. I know, that is totally unlike me in a lot of respects but after these past couple of months, being told to wait, hang on, or just ignored… well, I just couldn’t stand by and watch something I want so badly snatched away without even a reason… or more importantly, a fight. If this person found someone better or more qualified, so be it, then is it so hard to say that to me? I don’t think it is, but apparently this person does.

Ugh so frustrating.

I need a drink, and rightly so… so, I’m out. Computer end personal log.”

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