Personal Log MD5

Posted on 14 Mar 2012 @ 5:09pm by Lieutenant JG Drusilla McCarthy

797 words; about a 4 minute read

Computer, begin personal log:

I have now been a reconised member of the crew of the USS Galileo for 4days now and it really feels like it's been a complete and utter whirlwind. In my capacity as ship's counsellor I have managed to get a number of sessions done, some more memorable then others. Our COE is one such session which stands out, not just because we ended up back in my quaters having dinner. He has alot of life's experiences shading his life. Outwardly he's a fun loving guy who'd crack a joke before giving out to someone but internally he has alot of demons he seems to be fighting. I look forward to seeing more of him as the misson progresses. He's a good man.

I also had the oppertunity to meet our ship's XO. I'm worried about the level of stress he seems to be experiencing. I'm putting it down to this being a new command for him and he's readjusting. He seems to be experiencing similar issues to myself. Anyone would think that coming from a big ship to a very small one would be an easy transition, less work and less ship to worry about, myself and Jonathan seem to be testament to this not being true. I'm hoping that Jonathan will be better once we leave on the misson but I guess time will tell.

Ive also had oppertunity to meet Lir....the Captains sister Nesh. Somehow I was rangled into being a babysitter for the morning yesterday. I've a funny feeling though that now she's 15 she starting to develope the Orion way of giving off pheromones. After the stress of the last few days, I found myself unusually happy and more outgoing then usual. Also I had to ask our sickbay for some painkillers after I developed a consitant headache. Next time I see the Captain I must try to remember to mention somehing to her, she will need to ensure someone keeps an eye on Nesh. But aside from these elements I really did enjoy myself, Nesh is very intelligent for someone of her young age, she will go far in this world, she takes after her sister with her ambition in life.

Oh!!!I met someone tonight. His name was Ayden. I think in anyother situation, maybe there might have been more. But as it was, he is a cadet with alot on his mind, he needed a friendly shoulder more then he needed anything else. I seemed to help, he asked once we had returned to his mother's ship if we could correspond with each other. It will be nice having a friend outside of the ship, who knows what might come of it.

Outside of this there hasn't been much else...well...I guess that's not true. There as also the Captain....Lirha....I'm not sure what is going on. Over the last few days somehow things seem to be building and building and I can't control them anymore. I don't understand what I'm feeling, I don't understand how I am acting or what I am to do.

All my teachers at the academy had warned me that where I make a good counsellor for others, I would struggle to help and understand myself the most. I've never realised how right they were until I met Lirha.

When I see her I feel some sort of connection which I can't understand. When I'm upset she has a way of being able to calm me down. I feel safe when I'm with her. I feel that none of the stresses of the world exists, it's just me and her.

This doesn't make sense to me. She's my Captain, my superior in so many ways. I went by her quaters one night when things were especially difficult and I needed a friend. She had so much confidence in being a woman and was so comfortable with her femininity.I wish that I could have even half of the confidence which Lirha had...maybe if I did I would have reacted better to what happened in the last few hours.....

We kissed....it's easiest to just get to the point. Not just once or twice but three times. I don't understand why I didn't push her away. The only reason it stopped was because two crew members almost stumbled across us. And then I pushed her away...I didn't know what else to do. Even now I still don't know...if she was a man I would throw myself into this without any second thoughts, but she's a woman...I've never viewed women in this light before, I've never been with a woman before...maybe I'm scared...I don't know.

Computer, end log.

RSS Feed