Circumstantial roommates

Posted on 03 Aug 2015 @ 7:29pm by Lieutenant Oren Idris Ph.D.

1,456 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Episode 09 - Empires
Location: USS Galileo, Deck 2, 02-3216 SO (Grayson Jones' quarters)
Timeline: MD02 - 0930hrs

[ON]

Feeling a bit lighter after having checked up on Cyrin, Oren followed through with his plan of going back to Grayson's quarters and making himself presentable for Ellsworth's arrival. Coming through the door, the absence of both Tyrion and Grayson didn't surprise him, since he was sure they both had plenty to do. Replicating some food for Landi, Oren got himself a piece of fruit for breakfast before sitting down on the couch, wondering where to start.

Tracks of tears staining his face, Tyrion entered Grayson's room. The door opened on his approach, just as Grayson had keyed it to do. He stepped inside and allowed the door to close behind him. A sharp bark startled him from his thoughts and he jumped. Spotting the dog, his eyes traveled from the canine, to her owner who was sitting on the couch. "Oren," he greeted, his voice breaking on the single two-vowel word.

Eyes widening in surprise at the state Tyrion was in, Oren stood up immediately. "Tyrion, what's wrong?" he asked, the pear laying forgotten on the coffee table beside him as when he walked towards the Betazoid.

"Grayson...he got sick earlier and I was called to sickbay..." He swallowed, unable to contain his tears. "He's in stasis now because the doctor can't help him right now, sickbay's damaged too..." He took a single step forward. "I can stay there with him, if I'm not in the way, but I need to sleep too. I don't know what to do Oren...what if he doesn't make it?"

At the news, Oren felt numb, the same worry going through his mind as it had gone through Tyrion's. Fighting the urge to join him in despair, Oren pushed his feelings aside and reached for hope instead, knowing that one of them had to be strong. He reached out and put his hands on Tyrion. "He'll make it," he said firmly. This was no time for pessimism.

"Look at me," he added, cupping Tyrion's face to make the Betazoid look him in the eye. "Grayson is a fighter and the doctors in Sickbay might be insane, but they know their job. Grayson is going to make it. I know it," Oren said, looking very sure of himself as he did.

The Betazoid sighed, trying to pull himself together. "I can't lose him," he whispered, "there's...something between us. Different than with you, or Kot, I don't know how to explain it, but you know, I feel like we've been together forever. I loved you, I loved Kot, but I love him more. Does that make sense?" He leaned into the touch, needing it to stay grounded. He drew in another deep breath, expelling it just as quick. "He'd want you to stay here you know," he added.

"I know," Oren nodded, having no intention to leave, especially now. Tyrion needed someone, even if their relationship wasn't the smoothest or the wisest he's ever had.

"And what you and Grayson have," he said, looking at Tyrion sincerely. "It doesn't make sense, but...who cares?" Oren shrugged. In reality, he believed that what was between Grayson and Tyrion was infatuation, much like that between many young people. When you spend years looking for a connection the way Grayson had, getting attached was easy. Oren knew the feeling of that desperation well; he'd felt it many times and with many people. But just because it was probably fleeting, it didn't mean that it isn't real for both Tyrion and Grayson while it lasted. They deserved what they had, no matter what Oren's thoughts on it were.

"Feelings don't make sense. It's why they're feelings and not thoughts," he supplies, giving Tyrion's shoulder a squeeze.

Feeling numb and exhausted, Tyrion nodded. "I feel terrible," he admitted, "and guilty for not making him go to sickbay sooner." He swallowed., blinking away more tears. "And you don't think what we have is real...I can sense it... just like what we had wasn't real...was it? Did it mean anything, what we had?"

"I think you have a strange definition of what makes something real," Oren supplies calmly. He led Tyrion towards the bedroom, determined to let the man rest. "What we had was real, and what you and Grayson have is real. It's just different, and meaningful, in its own way."

"Then why did you leave me behind?" the younger man whispered sadly as he sank down on the big bed.

Oren sighed, sitting down by Tyrion. "Because I panicked and do stupid things." It was a weak explanation but it was the truth. Oren's anxiety had caused him to drop a lot of people and commitments in his life, suddenly and without looking back. It simply all boiled down to him feeling trapped and claustrophobic, unable to deal with the fallback of something he did.

He knew that just leaving Tyrion was disrespectful to him, especially considering they'd spent days together, being more intimate than not. Just leaving cheapened the entire thing for Tyrion, while Oren, if he was being completely honest, hadn't felt that connected. It was simply what sex was to him - a distraction, albeit a pleasing one.

"But why didn't you talk to me then?" He kicked off his boots and shrugged out of his jacket, tossing it over a nearby chair. He lifted his legs up on the bed and laid himself out, not bothering to take off the rest. "You can sleep on the bed if you want..."

Beginning to feel frustrated, Oren sighed. "I just...couldn't. Alright?" he asked, knowing he was doing a terrible job of explaining himself, but how could you explain anxiety to someone? How do you explain having to spend fifteen minutes calming your mind every time you knew you had to speak to someone new? That it took you hours to fall asleep at night because you kept rewinding the day's events over in your mind, picking apart everything you said and how it might have sounded to the person you were speaking to?

That, when moments like this came, you had no way of explaining away your fears without feeling stupid and irrational for them being there, ever present in your mind?

He looked to the unmade side of Grayson's bed, now cold with it's owner several decks away. He shook his head. "No, I'll stay on the couch. Plus, it's early and I need to get ready to go out soon."

"Okay..." Tyrion sighed softly as he turned to stare at the ceiling. "I'll try and get some sleep, I haven't had any in a while...nothing decent anyway." There was obviously no point in trying to persuade the El-Aurian. "By the way...congratulations on your promotion.."

Oren couldn't help the huff of laughter that escaped him. "Thanks," he said, shaking his head. "All things considered, it looks like it'll be a baptism by fire."

Tyrion turned his head, black eyes full of question. "Baptism by fire? What does that mean?"

"It's an Earth expression. It means my first experience being the Chief Research Officer will be difficult and challenging," Oren explained, resting his hand on Tyrion's arm and rubbing it absentmindedly in what was a soothing gesture.

"Only as difficult as you make it for yourself," Tyrion whispered, appreciating the gesture of comfort.

"Do you need anything?" Oren asked, wanting to make sure Tyrion was comfortable. "Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep? I promise I won't leave until you do."

"Yes please stay, if you won't get in trouble for it." The Betazoid smiled sadly as he closed his eyes. "If I can sleep at all...maybe...maybe I should take a sedative...you don't happen to have any, do you?"

With a wry grin, Oren stood up. "I always have sedatives," he said, going outside the bedroom to the replicator. Having a prescription code attached to his name due to his medical history, replicating a sedative hypo was easy enough. Back in the bedroom, he held out the cylinder to Tyrion. "There you go. It's half the dosage I usually use, but it should be sufficient to calm you down and get you to sleep."

"I just need enough to sleep," Tyrion answered gratefully, taking the hypospray and pressing it to his carotid. "Thank you Oren...." He closed his eyes a second time and this time tried to concentrate on falling asleep.

True to his word, Oren sat there, rubbing soothing circles over Tyrion's back as he waited for the young man to fall into a fitful sleep.

[OFF]

CPO Tyrion Faye
Intelligence Officer
USS Galileo
[pnpc T'Vanna]

Lieutenant JG Oren Idris
Chief Research Officer
USS Galileo

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