Personal Log #915

Posted on 23 Feb 2016 @ 11:37am by Ensign Jaana Voutilainen

235 words; about a 1 minute read

This is my last day at the clinic before I return. I think I have a good handle on my disorder, and apparently the counselors here think the same as they are letting me go back to the Galileo. That should give me some confidence. But I’m still very nervous about returning. Here everything is a lot easier. No stress, replicators that are locked. What will happen when I’m back? Will I be able to handle working again? Handle the stress that it no doubt will give?

I’ve already been assigned a counselor and even have an appointment standing. Guess I wouldn’t be the first to “forget” to make an appointment. One thing I’ve learned and are really going to pursue is a practical way of increasing my confidence. Instead of letting my self-image bring me down every time I’m going to work on each and every thing. Only this time the correct healthy way. Exercising instead of overeating and throwing up. Talking about what scares and bothers me, instead of keeping everything to myself. Treating myself to a new outfit and an appointment in the hair salon.

It’s time for the new Jaana.

I’ve also submitted my dissertation. I finally managed to finish it. I’m so excited, but also bloody nervous. Who knows, maybe next month our family will have three Doctors, instead of two.

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