Personal Log 003

Posted on 12 Jul 2012 @ 10:25am by Lieutenant Commander Pola Ni Dhuinn M.D.

347 words; about a 2 minute read

Computer Begin Log:

Well....Here I am. I've taken a moment out to just sit in my office while the staff prep sickbay. I know I should be out there helping but I really need just a moment...I'm freaking out here.

I know I'm able to be CMO, I know I have the abilities to be able to do the job but now this red alert has happened, I'm scared. What if I screw up? What if I give wrong instructions? What if I forget something? Hell, I forgot about security and phasers, had Kohl never spoken up I'd never have remembered. That's so important, what if we are boarded? The staff of sickbay don't just have a responsibility to help the injured, each of them as Starfleet officers also have the responsibility to protect those who cannot protect themselves. How the hell can they protect the injured if I forget to equip them to be able to do so?!?

* audible sigh before a moment or two of silence passes*

I wonder if every senior officer reacts this way the very first time they have a red alert? I mean they train us for this, and as ACMO I've been in red alert situations and stood by the CMO's side to help him. It's not as if any of this is new to me, it's just new being the one who has to organise and has to take on complete responsibility.

I will say one thing though, I am very proud of my people. I'm proud of how they have stepped up to the plate, taken on this challenge and helped to enable me to do my job. I've come to realise just how small a group we are, even when you include our counselling department, but everyone pulls their weight and does the jobs I give the to do, I really couldn't ask for anything more.

I just wish....

*voice cuts out as there is the sound of instruments crashing to the ground and of explosions after which the computer cuts out the log itself*

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