Afraid (Past)

Posted on 03 Jan 2015 @ 1:35am by Petty Officer 3rd Class Ellsworth Hudson

2,349 words; about a 12 minute read

Ambanivato, Bakaleya Prefecture, Risa - 2386

Living near the beach was unlike anything Ellsworth had ever experienced, and he loved it. After the first couple of nights it was easy to be lulled to sleep by the sound of the crashing surf and the nocturnal calls of the tufted sunset streamer; even easier was waking up to a double sunrise. Medara, his hometown on Betazed, was surrounded by a jungle-like forest and had always smelled like damp wood and hanging moss. It had the same heat and humidity as the Risian seaside but lacked the ocean breeze so the air had just felt heavy and oppressive. He'd spent most of his formative years in the Betazed capital, Rixx, and it had been nothing more than a city to him. Endless miles of paved surfaces and towering buildings and perfectly manicured parks - a beautiful city by any standard but a city nonetheless.

Here, things were different. Risian architecture had such a harmonious relationship with the environment that you could be in the midst of an urban center and you might never realize it, except for the crush of people. He'd seen everything from cities tucked into the canopy of forests to cabins extending out across vast alpine lakes, but the planet's many seaside resort towns had proven to be his favorite. The smell of the salty air never grew old, and long walks along the beach seemed like they would never be boring.

The town of Ambanivato was like a jewel among such locales and had spoken to him the moment he arrived there. Its vast boardwalk was built right against a lagoon, and it was extremely well-trafficked as a regional hub for the private resorts that extended up and down the coast for kilometers in either direction. It was as close to the life he saw people living in holonovels and films as anything else he'd come across, beaches full of pretty people dressed in beautiful and revealing swimsuits sitting under giant umbrellas sipping drinks without a care in the world. It was the type of place he'd always dreamed of living, surrounded by people that didn't care what he did or how he lived his life, whether he did his homework or ate well or stayed out too late. It was a beautiful haven where the young sixteen year old Betazoid could finally spread his wings.

It had taken him weeks to find his way here after first landing at Risa's spaceport, where he was promptly discovered by the crew of the interplanetary transport on which he'd stowed away. It had been nothing short of "luck" that he was found by a sympathetic engineer aboard the ship rather than the local immigration authorities. Ellsworth had assumed the man had taken pity on him - he'd learned early on that "war orphan" was a powerful phrase - and introduced him to some friends on the planet. At the time, it hadn't seemed too out of the ordinary that the man expected something for his help in smuggling Ellsworth on to the planet. He was attractive and kind, and Ellsworth was grateful and willing enough to oblige.

It was only years later during his Starfleet training that he looked back on the situation differently - it was the engineer's friends who had started him off in "the business," and he often wondered what would have happened to him if he'd refused the man's advances. When he landed on the planet, he was brimming with all the optimistic naivete of youth, so he thought he was just lucky to find such a nice and helpful man. In retrospect, it seemed more likely the engineer had acquaintances involved in the trafficking of sentients, and he probably received some kickback for the introduction. The pair he introduced Ellsworth to had been very careful and practiced in moving him into being an escort so that when he agreed it had seemed like the best move he could have possibly made - it provided him with independence and money to live a lifestyle that he would have never achieved on his own. It had seemed like there were far worse things he could do with his life.

Unfortunately, it wasn't as glamorous as he thought it would be. Sometimes it was a lot of work, reading about different things he didn't care about so he could provide his client with an enjoyable experience. He had to constantly mind his body. The other boys wouldn't really talk to him, which proved to be his biggest disappointment. He thought there would be some level of camaraderie between them, but it was a competitive market. He knew that some of them actually hated him, and it hurt his feelings far more than he'd ever admit. It wasn't always bad; sometimes you got to attend fancy parties with famous people, eat food prepared by the galaxy's top chefs and even learn a lot about yourself. But then sometimes it was just outright dangerous work...

-----

Ellsworth cracked one eye open as a shadow fell across his form on the beach. He'd spent too much time indoors for the past three weeks and his skin had started to lose its warm glow, so the presence of a cloud on a supposedly cloudless day was an annoyance. As his eye adjusted to the darkness, he realized there was someone - not something - blocking the sun. At the very least the someone was a handsome someone, so there was that.

"Hey there."

Ellsworth opened both eyes but made no move to reposition himself, instead deciding to stay prone on his towel in what must have seemed like a vulnerable and slightly suggestive pose to the towering stranger.

"Hi."

"Can I join you?" the man asked with a wry smile, as if it was a foregone conclusion that he would. He lifted up the towel on his shoulder and arched an eyebrow in question.

"Sure," Ellsworth said casually, then repositioned his head and closed his eyes. He'd been here long enough to know that being a little aloof and playing hard to get would get you farther with the right clients than being overly suggestive. The shadow moved as the man settled in next to him and the gentle Risian sun began to warm his skin again.

"So, you're not from here, are you?"

"What gave it away? No forehead brand?" Ellsworth asked, not opening his eyes but placing a single finger between them where a Risian's head marking would go.

"And the black eyes."

Ellsworth grinned at that, opened his eyes, and turned on his side to face the other man. He had dark hair, tanned skin, well-manicured, obviously someone who lived a regimented life and took good care of himself. Probably Starfleet judging by the haircut and the demeanor, maybe a commander or captain given his age. "I've been here long enough to know my way around, though. Is this your first time?"

"First time in Ambanivato, but not Risa. My ship comes through pretty frequently."

"Then welcome," Ellsworth said, propping himself on his elbow. His legs shifted, one draping lazily over the other, and he hooked a foot behind the opposing ankle. "We have a lot to offer around here."

"Oh?"

"Mm-hmm."

"So... You gonna show me around?"

"I dunno, maybe," Ellsworth said, grinning slyly. He turned fully away from the other man and began packing his things into his bag. He drew one leg halfway up the other and adjusted his body until he felt the scant cloth of his swim briefs pull taut against his hips and backside. Shortly thereafter he felt a large hand on his hip that gave him a slight pause but brought a smile to his lips, reflecting the sort of satisfaction that came from receiving the response to an action that one anticipated. He sensed a deep and growing hunger inside of the man beside him that signaled the beginning of an interesting evening and credits in his bank account.

"How can I convince you?"

Ellsworth looked back over his smooth shoulder at the man, willingly rolling into the grip of his hand. "Dinner?"

The other man smiled, sliding his hand just a bit down Ellsworth's thigh. "Sure."

Ellsworth started to roll back to finish packing his things but stopped halfway. "What's your name?"

"Ainsley. Ainsley Pennington."

-----

Ellsworth was in a daze when he arrived at the clinic on the outskirts of Ambanivato. He couldn't even remember how he'd gotten there. Had he walked? Did someone bring him? He wasn't even sure of the date. Had it only been one day or two? It felt like it had been three weeks. He could barely summon the strength of will, much less the actual physical strength needed, to follow the nurse from the waiting room into a small examination room.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

Ellsworth stared at the wall. There was some kind of drawing of the Risian body there meant to be part educational, part artwork. It looked weird. All the organs were in weird places. Why was their heart so low in their torso? His mind answered with a surprisingly cogent response - it was probably easier to pump blood to their genitalia that way - but he quickly regretted it. The thought of that part of anyone's anatomy made him feel ill, and he lurched forward like he was going to vomit. The nurse caught him by the shoulder, and he cried out in pain. She quickly shifted her grip to the opposing arm and used her free hand to ease down the shirt he was wearing. His left shoulder and arm were covered in bite marks and bruises already turning dark and ugly. They were alarming companions to a bruised face and other injuries that were less easily seen.

"Who did this to you?" the nurse demanded, apparently outraged by what she saw.

It seemed like his tongue wanted to move and speak a name. He wanted to point an accusing finger. But he didn't. Nothing was working right in his mind. His eyes moved slowly away from the wall to look at the nurse. She was pretty with shoulder-length auburn hair, light make-up and kind eyes. She was the sort of person you were supposed to want to talk to but Ellsworth felt so detached that he was having trouble even identifying her as another sentient being. She was just a talking thing that kept talking, fulfilling its purpose.

"I'm getting the doctor," she said, fixing him with a firm look from the doorway. "You stay right here. Don't move, okay?"

The doctor was a short frowning man with a lot of fatty looking folds on his face. What were they called? Zakdorns? He had big bushy eyebrows that were drawn together while he used a tricorder to examine Ellsworth. Every time the tricorder beeped it seemed like he would frown more. Finally he snapped it shut, fixed Ellsworth with a long and lingering look, then shuffled toward the door to consult in hushed whispers with his nurse. They kept turning and looking at him while they talked, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. The whole room was filled with concern... Concern, concern, concern. That's all he felt, and he couldn't bring his mind to focus enough to read anyone's thoughts beyond that. They whispered long enough that his eyes went unfocused, and he stared off into space.

The nurse was suddenly at his side with a light touch on his arm. "Mr. Hudson, we believe you've suffered a sexual assault. We need your consent to undertake some forensic tests to document the assault and identify the assailant."

Ellsworth's eyes opened wide in alarm. "No."

The nurse's eyes narrowed slightly, and she tilted her head to the side in incredulity. "But it's standard procedure-"

"No," Ellsworth repeated.

It was bad enough that it had happened. Now they wanted to test him? 'Identify the assailant'? What did that even mean? So the Risian police could open an investigation into the incident? He'd have to deal with the police, and he didn't trust the police. They might dig too much into his tenuous grasp on residency on this planet, and there was no way in hell he was about to be shipped back to Betazed just because someone roughed him up a little bit. He would be fine after some medical attention and a few day's rest.

"We need to alert the authorities," the nurse said to him, trying to keep her voice even and professional. He could feel that she was concerned about him and wanted to do more than just wave a dermal regenerator over his bruises. He could sense a deep, innate sense of justice within her that was outraged and feeding feelings of anguish and helplessness. "They need to investigate."

Why did she keep talking about this investigation? What was there to investigate? Ellsworth's eyes suddenly became hyperactive, darting from one object in the room to the other as an unwanted memory surged to the surface. What was it the voice had said? He felt a hand across his mouth and the full weight of someone much larger crushing him into a soft surface, a shoulder pushing forcefully into his back to keep him pinned in place. His eyes were so wide with fear that they were actually hurting from the strain of it. There was heavy breathing in his ear, someone close, someone whispering:

Isn't this what you wanted? The sound of something hitting the floor. If you like it here on Risa, you won't say a word. The movement of cloth on skin. Nobody will believe you anyway.

"Just treat me," Ellsworth said. He sounded hollow, but he had reached out to latch on to the nurse's arm. His fingers were wrapped tightly around her wrist, as if she was his only anchor to the real world and to let go meant to let go completely. "That's all."

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