Taking on the Universe... Maybe...

Posted on 28 Oct 2014 @ 12:56am by Lieutenant Elijah Williams IV, M.Sc.

498 words; about a 2 minute read

"Computer begin personal log...

Have you ever had one of those moments where you go through this profound change and you aren't quite sure how or when it even happened? Well... I am going through that right now and I have to say it's a bit scary and exciting all in one breath. I don't know if it's because I've faced death now or if it's because I realized that I could handle myself, but something happened. I feel confident and full of vigor like I could take on the galaxy in a bare knuckle boxing match."

Laughs.

"Ooookay, that might be stretching it just a tad, but it's just how I feel at the moment. I can't even put my finger on it and that is what is so strange. If I were telling this to Abbey, she would probably jump up and down and clap and point out how stupid I am because the answer is staring at me right in the face. Then she would take my hands and we would jump around together and probably jump on the bed. Gosh that Abbey..."

Long pause.

"But is it really staring at me in the face?

The short answer is probably yes; the long answer is probably more complicated then that. Do I ride this wave of confidence and see where it leads me? I feel so... whole. Is that how I'm feeling? I mean before all this I felt so hollow, so broken, like I wasn't worth a damn to anyone. I almost felt like there were some who were taking advantage of that. Maybe they were. If they were, well shame on them.

I think... I think I am always going to struggle though. There is that scared little boy who is still very much scared of his father and the world. But, I think that might go for a lot of people who had crappy childhoods. We carry that with us, in a way it can help or hinder us, I choose to not let it hinder me anymore. I'm a grown man; I can't let my father have a hold over me like the way he had.

I'm just tired of a life that has me timid and afraid. I faced a lot when I went on that away mission. I fought and fought hard. I saved people and I saved myself. Heck, I even fired a weapon. Even when I was hurt I still tried to help others around me. I proved that I could do all that. All of what I was... what I am, got set aside so I could help. And you know what? I feel damn good about it.

So good that apparently I can take on the universe in bare knuckle boxing. Sadly my ass would probably get kicked.

I'm so out of shape."

Sigh.

"Mental note - find out who can teach me how to box.

Computer end log..."

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